Maxwell 14: Editing Out Fun-Loving

[mango_fandango]

47 minutes ago, kpmom said:

In my case, the holidays were even more fun after I had kids.  I hope they will be for you, too.

Now you've got me curious about those John Lewis commercials you mentioned.  I wonder if any are on youtube?

I hope they will be too, I can just imagine that being woken up at dumbass o'clock and buying everyone gifts and being in the kitchen all day would just be stressful as fuck.

Just type in "john lewis christmas advert" to the Youtube bar and they'll come up. 

[catlady]

47 minutes ago, kpmom said:

Teri says,

 "We make about 5 lbs of mashed potatoes."

we do 10 lbs for a normal sunday dinner.  there must be no such thing as leftovers in Maxhell.

[Georgiana]

My boyfriend just came over from India in June, so this will be his FIRST Thanksgiving.  I'm SO EXCITED, and normally I dread Thanksgiving!  

Problem: he's somewhat vegetarian, so I'll be branching out into veggie Thanksgiving options.  There's like a 90% chance that he'll choose to eat the meat things instead, but he'll never agree to it beforehand  

[anjulibai]

2 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

My boyfriend just came over from India in June, so this will be his FIRST Thanksgiving.  I'm SO EXCITED, and normally I dread Thanksgiving!  

Problem: he's somewhat vegetarian, so I'll be branching out into veggie Thanksgiving options.  There's like a 90% chance that he'll choose to eat the meat things instead, but he'll never agree to it beforehand  

My husband is a vegetarian, and we've had veggie options before. Trader Joe's makes a tofurky with wild rice stuffing and veggie gravy that he likes. I don't particular care for it, but I'm also a dedicated omnivore and need my real turkey and gravy. 

58 minutes ago, kpmom said:

Ha!  You called it!

Teri says,

 "For Thanksgiving our vegetable is mashed potatoes, which we usually don’t even consider a vegetable. We make about 5 lbs of mashed potatoes."

So why consider it a vegetable on Thanksgiving? 

So she doesn't have to do more? That's the only reason I can think. 

[fundiefan]

14 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

Needless to say, the Maxwells' Thanksgiving meal sounds as boring as fuck. Only 1 salad and 1 vegetable?

Being Australian, I've never experienced Thanksgiving, but at least for Christmas meals, for me the vegetables are the best part.  I always make at least 4 veg dishes, and there's usually only the four of us there. 

I can't imagine such a pathetic Thanksgiving. Why bother?

Let's see...we just got done group texting to plan who is bringing what to our family Thanksgiving. We are having, so far: 

Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, brussels sprouts au gratin,  2 squash side dishes (I have no idea what that even really means but a niece is adamant they're a must) regular ol' lettuce & veggie salad with dressings, dinner rolls, a veggie tray, relish tray, pumpkin pie, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, Bailey's cheesecake, jello because my mom can't do a holiday without it, ever, wine, hot cider and more wine. There will be more stuff because we haven't gotten all responses yet. 

Rather traditional, not a ton of work for any one person since we all contribute, many options, and we will all actually have something to talk about because we don't all live together or next door or even in the same town. There will be 19 of us and we will have FUN.

Their Thanksgiving is as pathetic, boring, miniscule and without joy and fun as much as every other aspect of their existence.

[johnhugh]

The Maxwell blog, the blessed blessing gift on ongoing blessed innuendo...

Quote

It is a sweet time of generational fellowship.

Being from the U.K. I don’t quite get Thanksgiving  and the traditional meal, except things I’ve read or seen in films. But to have just one vegetable dish sounds odd on a big family meal when the extended familyssss are invited to the mother  fathership. At Christmas, Easter  resurrection Sunday or other family celebration dinners my Mum will always do three or four different veg - I hate peas, my sister dislikes broccoli.... This is a family that supposedly prides themselves on healthy eating with their breakfast smoothies and two animal crackers with a chease paper thrown in for good measure.

Gosh Teri really has issues, but at least she has Arnold now.

 

[nastyhobbitses]

My family has a spreadsheet for Thanksgiving dishes. I'm doing Parmesan Brussels sprouts and roasted carrots for veggies, plus Hokkaido milk bread rolls to accompany, and then brown butter Madeleines for dessert. My sister is doing appetizers and a pecan pie. My dad is on turkey/gravy duty, my aunt does the mashed potatoes, my mom does the stuffing, and my grandma makes liver pate for appetizers. We really go all-out in my family.

[SPHASH]

Griselda Teri is just flat out lazy.

Griselda Teri is just flat out lazy.

Griselda Teri is just flat out lazy.

[anniebgood]

Turkey breast and a small ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, baked beans, dressing, corn pudding, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, and Hawaiian sweet rolls, pumpkin pie and pecan pie, ice cream and of course fruit salad. That's for 5 of us, including a vegetarian.  We used to have a full house but not anymore. We'll talk, drink wine, eat dinner, watch football, and shock of shocks, use plastic plates and bowls, from Costco and toss 'em when we're done.  And as my son has done every year since he's been able, he'll take baked beans, a slice of ham, and a buttered roll and make his sandwiches to eat during the game. 

I can't imagine a Thanksgiving as boring as the Maxwells, and FSM only knows how long Steve's prayer will be before they dive into their cooled food. Our prayer this year will be interesting since my husband is an atheist. We'll probably say "Grace" like they did in Hook. 

[Lady Grass Lake]

Corn and Mashed Potatoes together, love it.  I also put cranberry relish directly on my dressing.  Gravy goes only on the turkey.   I think I like pumpkin bars with a crust made of yellow cake mix is way better than pumpkin pie.  

 

[usmcmom]

My mother has a huge family so my childhoood Thanksgivings were fantastic. We always had around 70 people!!  My aunt, the hostess took down her bed in the master bedroom and turned it into an extra dining room for the day. There were tables everywhere and people ate on the couch with plates on their laps. She made the main meal but everybody brought at least two dishes. The pool table was always the dessert table and it was full. One year I counted 14 kinds of pie. FOURTEEN PIE FLAVORS!  

We always started the day with crackers and cheese, veggies and homemade summer sausage. Then we'd have the main meal around noon. Around 4:00 everyone would wander back into the kitchen and start heating up leftovers. Sometimes a few of us would just grab forks and finish a dish right out of the pan. 

Those were the best days ever. I got to know my grandmother's siblings because of that day. Even though I never knew her, I had that connection with them. My children knew them, meaning they remember their great, great aunts and uncles. There was always a couple new babies and a new spouse or two each year. My kids still talk about those dinners and how much they loved them. 

 

[Lady Grass Lake]

We have turkey many times a year, I put a turkey breast in my crock pot and cook slowly all day with cherry wine poured over it.   Turkey isn't anything special to us.  My husband is an IT systems manager and Thanksgiving gives him a 4 day weekend to upgrade the system at work and not interfere with day to day business.  We also live away from our families so we don't always get back home for Thanksgiving.   We found a restaurant that has the best Thanksgiving buffet, Ham, Turkey, Roast Beef, Prime Rib and Salmon, side dishes galore, veggies, pastas, potatoes, salads and more, and desserts galore, pies, cakes, rice pudding, bread pudding, ice cream, so much more.  The only down side, is no leftovers, but also no cleanup.  

[PennySycamore]

When I started reading these Thanksgiving posts, I'd just opened my new America's Test Kitchen cookbook that I'd gotten partly for the new turkey recipe in it. (And the perfect sticky buns! and other stuff from the last few seasons.) I'll cook a turkey ad we'll have mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, Parker House rolls, maybe sweet potatoes, stuffing (hopefully homemade), baked mac and cheese, and cranberry sauce from the can complete with the can ridges on it.  When I was growing up, we had corn, green beans, rice and my mom's cornbread dressing.  I may make a little bit of rice this year since at least one of my granddaughters LOVES rice.  We may have had ambrosia as well or we may have saved ambrosia for Christmas.  My brother was always in charge of the ambrosia. The mac and cheese dates from when my brother-in-law's parents joined our family for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  For dessert, we'll have pumpkin and apple pies and maybe something else.  My daughter in Memphis, her husband and kids are coming this year so Thanksgiving dinner will be extra special.

@usmcmom, your Thanksgiving sounds like heaven!

@Georgiana, in addition to @anjulibai's suggestion of a Trader Joes Tofurky clone, there is also a Quorn "turkey" roast which I like.   It's easier to open than the Tofurky roast, easier to cook, and tastes better too.  It, however, is not vegan so be aware of that if that is an issue.

 

 

[fundiefan]

4 minutes ago, Lady Grass Lake said:

We have turkey many times a year, I put a turkey breast in my crock pot and cook slowly all day with cherry wine poured over it.   Turkey isn't anything special to us.  My husband is an IT systems manager and Thanksgiving gives him a 4 day weekend to upgrade the system at work and not interfere with day to day business.  We also live away from our families so we don't always get back home for Thanksgiving.   We found a restaurant that has the best Thanksgiving buffet, Ham, Turkey, Roast Beef, Prime Rib and Salmon, side dishes galore, veggies, pastas, potatoes, salads and more, and desserts galore, pies, cakes, rice pudding, bread pudding, ice cream, so much more.  The only down side, is no leftovers, but also no cleanup.  

Every other year our TG is very small and we go to a restaurant that has just such an amazing buffet, for $15 a pop! Can't beat that. Those years it's my sister, myself, mom & her husband. This is the year for our family though - all the grown kids alternate years with our family & their in-laws. It took a lot of finagling to get them all to do their in-laws on the same year so that when we are together, we're all together. I like both ways almost equally although I have to admit the restaurant years are just a smidge higher on my list since I always have to work the day after and it's nice to not have to spend the entire day at someone's house on a work night. 

[mango_fandango]

Tofurkey always sounds like such a weird name. I get it, though. I suppose it’s odd because it’s normally said tow-foo whereas this makes it “toe-fur-“.

I much prefer the Sims 3 version; you can make veggie versions of most dishes in that game and turkey is called tursoykey. 

[Coconutwater]

All this talk is making me SO hungry! My parents (my dad) does all the cooking for holidays and there’s always SO much leftover and more than one desert. My mom brags that she made the salad and put the crescent rolls in the oven. No one is expected to bring anything, but food in my family is never turned away! It’s fun with wine and a specialty cocktail my mother finds online to make and lots of food and then a movie and one of my brothers usually passes out in a food coma after about 20 minutes into the movie. 

[lilith]

1 hour ago, catlady said:

we do 10 lbs for a normal sunday dinner.  there must be no such thing as leftovers in Maxhell.

Excuse me, John can always be counted to eat up leftovers at Maxhell. It’s one of the unique and interesting traits we were blessed with in his birthday post. Or maybe it was Jesse...... Either way, a Maxwell son has the noteworthy habit of eating leftovers.

I’m actually surprised they put all the dishes on the table for people to serve themselves - I would have imagined Teri portioning out plates in the kitchen. I bet she did when the kids were young and the family was smaller.

How the hell does she need a spreadsheet and master shopping list to keep track of that menu, the same one she’s been serving for 20 years? While I always serve turkey, stuffing, and a few favoured sides and salads at Christmas (Australian, so no thanksgiving), I also experiment with different additional side dishes and meats. I enjoy it, my family enjoys it (my teenage daughter has started making a side dish too), and I manage it all without a spreadsheet recording guests and leftovers from past years. There are always excess leftovers, but that’s great cause I don’t feel like cooking again for a few days.

I bet anything that the “guests” who sneak in cranberry sauce and other heathen additions to Teri’s culinary equivalent of beige menu are actually her daughters in law.

[Jana814]

My aunt use to host Thanksgiving, it was the only day a year I watched football. We never said a prayer except for the first Thanksgiving after 9/11 my aunt's step-dad (a retired army man) wanted to say something so he did. 

[SuchABlessing]

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

Griselda Teri is just flat out lazy.

Griselda Teri is just flat out lazy.

Griselda Teri is just flat out lazy.

I'm defending a Maxwell. Pigs are flying. Fat ladies are singing. 

No, Teri is not lazy. She suffers from severe untreated depression, as mentioned several times. She lives with a controlling and manipulative asshole whose solution to her depression and lack of interest in her children was MORE CHILDREN.  

Im seriously waiting for Steve to claim she's making an "idol" of her new cat and forcing her to get rid of it to turn her heart completely back to Jesus. I'm calling it now. 

As I've said multiple times, I firmly believe that the Maxwells are so into their strict schedules bc they have nothing else going for them. They don't go out, they don't work, and so filling their day with endless and meaningless tasks help them get through life (I'm speaking of the three-hour fridge cleaning here). 

I never really feel sorry for fundie adults, but I have a soft spot for Teri. As someone who's depression flares up even though I'm taking meds and seeing a psych regularly, I can only imagine how she must feel on a daily basis - especially if she thinks the depression is her fault because she's not praying enough or something. 

::step off soapbox::

[divadivine]

This will be my first gluten-free Thanksgiving.

No yeast rolls. 

No pie. 

No Stovetop Stuffing. Yes, I freaking love Stovetop Stuffing. I don’t care if you all disagree. I love it. It’s totally redneck, hillbilly, and I could eat the hell out of that magnificent stuff. 

Jesus, fucking yellow penguins... please excuse me while I cry about Stovetop Stuffing...... 

Okay... also, I hate turkey. Last year we had pork chops, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, green beans, cranberry salad, stuffing, rolls, and probably two kinds of dessert. It’s just me and my Mom.... leftovers for daaaaays! 

I did find a recipe for gluten-free Stovetop Stuffing. I might try it. Otherwise I’ll be eating meat, corn, two kinds of potatoes and some fruit. My Mom doesn’t understand the whole gluten-free thing. 

My meal will still be better than what they’re eating In Maxhell. 

 

[PennySycamore]

@divadivine, have you ever tried cornbread dressing?  Try to find a recipe for that.  You  might even see of your grocery store/Target has bags of Pepperridge Farms cornbread stuffing mix.  The cornbread is all crumbled up and seasoned for you and all you need to do is to add some fat (chicken, turkey or maybe even butter), broth and a chopped onion and stalk of celery.   It's just about as easy as Stovetop  and it's good.  Also, is there Stovetop cornbread stuffing?

[SuchABlessing]

Well last Thanksgiving was a bust bc both my sister and I were pregnant. She had just gotten diagnosed with gestational diabetes and I was having my first taste of morning sickness. It took every ounce of will power I had to not throw up at the table looking at all that food. 

This year has GOT to be an improvement!! 

[mango_fandango]

Now I'm just thinking about Christmas food *drool*

Its either Christmas Lunch or Christmas Dinner in the U.K. Our family has it at dinner time, it'd feel too weird to eat such a huge dinner in the middle of the day and then have nothing to look forward to all day, plus there is no way my mother would want to spend all morning in the kitchen. Traditionally it's a full roast, as in meat/poultry with potatoes, veggies, etc. The meat is usually turkey (ok, poultry) but it's usually duck in our house as my parents aren't massive fans of turkey. We also have pigs in blankets, which are different to the US version; these ones are cocktail sausages wrapped in bacon. Pig in more pig.... yaaaaaaaasssssss.

[socalrules]

So if I am understanding correctly, the maxwells consider mashed potatoes their vegetable? And only 5 pounds or that many people? Does everyone just get one scoop? Do they have gravy? Mashed potatoes with the right gravy are the holy grail at thanksgiving. No corn or green beans? I highly doubt there are many leftovers and I am sure few, I.e. the women, are going to take more than one serving. 

[church_of_dog]

I’m not a fan of green beans (except pickled as a snack) and corn is meh to me.

My favorite veggies for a Thanksgiving dinner would be brussels sprouts.  Roasted with walnuts and a maple syrup glaze.

Cooked greens would also be good, either creamed or with a splash of vinegar.  I’m not a huge carrot fan but gingered carrots, yum!  Creamed or caramelized pearl onions...  Mmmm...

And while I do like the canned cranberry sauce (yes, with the ridges from the can ) my favorite ritual must-have is canned mandarin oranges...  Sometimes if I’m not having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, I’ll just buy a can sometime that week and eat them all myself...