Maxwell 14: Editing Out Fun-Loving

[adidas]

I’ve always told my husband that I want to visit the US at Thanksgiving so we can experience the celebration. We had it once here when American friends visited, but I think it would be nice to celebrate it in its home country. Unless it would be rude of us to join in? I don’t think we have an Australian equivalent.

It will have to be a long trip because we’ll be staying for a white Christmas as well. We will head north to Canada to see family for that though. 

[SolomonFundy]

I saw the header picture of the 7-layer Salad of Sadness, and... I admit it.  I fell for it. I thought "This is it! The Post that was Promised! Pizza Cutter porn, here we go!!!!!"

But, no. I can't believe I let those smug assholes honey-dick me with that lettuce post yet again. I feel violated.

 

Add me to the list of people who are surprised that a lucid adult woman with THREE forever-alone-together adult daughters, needs to reference a computer file to remember to make 6 items for an annual family gathering. Not only is the menu really, really short, she's acknowledged that they've made the same thing for nearly forty years. Is it really that hard to keep track of two meats, two deserts, one side and a salad? 

[Captain Obvious]

4 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Let's see...we just got done group texting to plan who is bringing what to our family Thanksgiving. We are having, so far: 

Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, brussels sprouts au gratin,  2 squash side dishes (I have no idea what that even really means but a niece is adamant they're a must) regular ol' lettuce & veggie salad with dressings, dinner rolls, a veggie tray, relish tray, pumpkin pie, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, Bailey's cheesecake, jello because my mom can't do a holiday without it, ever, wine, hot cider and more wine. There will be more stuff because we haven't gotten all responses yet. 

That sounds amazing.

I often complain about Americanisms intruding on Australia and the UK but Thanksgiving is one I’d happily import. We should have it to replace our dumbarse Queen’s Birthday holiday in June (in slightly related news, this is when my birthday is so would get a holiday that I can get behind for a change).

As for Christmas, the Australian practice is moving away from turkey/ham and towards seafood, I reckon. Makes sense when Xmas day is in the middle of summer. But we’ll do both: traditional Xmas meal on Christmas Eve, and then a smaller seafood and salads thing for DH and me on Xmas day when the kids are with their mum.

Last year the Xmas eve thing was mini turkey Wellington (half a turkey breast stuffed with macadamia, mango and bacon, wrapped in pastry), mini sausage roast (sausage, herbs and cranberry wrapped in bacon), mini ham with grand marnier glaze, duck, spinach and orange salad; roast potatoes; braised cabbage and carrots; peas; cauliflower rice; sautéed broccoli. Plus ice cream cake for the kids, lemon meringue roulade for us.

Made everything except for the pastry and did most of the cooking fairly tipsy due to a constant supply of cocktails. 

I genuinely don’t even know why they would even need a spreadsheet. They have to buy like - what? 10 things? 1 task each per Maxbot? Not really freaking hard.

[mango_fandango]

Stop making me hungry dammit! I just want a huge roast now 

Isn't Teri allergic to chicken/turkey products?? 

[dripcurl]

Just saw the passive-aggressive shit on John's engagement post. Steve, from one Christian to another, you're an asshole! I feel sorry for all of your kids.

[anjulibai]

19 minutes ago, adidas said:

I’ve always told my husband that I want to visit the US at Thanksgiving so we can experience the celebration. We had it once here when American friends visited, but I think it would be nice to celebrate it in its home country. Unless it would be rude of us to join in? I don’t think we have an Australian equivalent.

It will have to be a long trip because we’ll be staying for a white Christmas as well. We will head north to Canada to see family for that though. 

Nah, not rude. In fact, one of the customs of Thanksgiving is to invite those in who might not have any place to go. It can be difficult for some families to add extras, because you have to deal with family dynamics and resources. But generally, if you can, you try to offer an invitation to those that would otherwise be alone. Both my mom's and my dad's families have done so. I imagine if you have friends who know you'd be in the area, you'd be invited. 

[uber frau]

1 hour ago, SolomonFundy said:

Add me to the list of people who are surprised that a lucid adult woman with THREE forever-alone-together adult daughters, needs to reference a computer file to remember to make 6 items for an annual family gathering. Not only is the menu really, really short, she's acknowledged that they've made the same thing for nearly forty years. Is it really that hard to keep track of two meats, two deserts, one side and a salad? 

No, it's really not that hard. Unless you're a Maxwell,of course,in which case it's necessary to spend more time and energy organising the organising than they do on the actual event.

Scheduling and planning have ceased to be tools and have turned into idols for them.

[adidas]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Nah, not rude. In fact, one of the customs of Thanksgiving is to invite those in who might not have any place to go. It can be difficult for some families to add extras, because you have to deal with family dynamics and resources. But generally, if you can, you try to offer an invitation to those that would otherwise be alone. Both my mom's and my dad's families have done so. I imagine if you have friends who know you'd be in the area, you'd be invited. 

Well that’s decided then. We need to start saving

[terranova]

I'm curious how pasta became a thanksgiving food stuff? I mean, turkey, corn, beans, and so on I can understand, but pasta doesn't seem very Pilgrimy.

[KnittingOwl]

6 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@divadivine, have you ever tried cornbread dressing?  Try to find a recipe for that.  You  might even see of your grocery store/Target has bags of Pepperridge Farms cornbread stuffing mix.  The cornbread is all crumbled up and seasoned for you and all you need to do is to add some fat (chicken, turkey or maybe even butter), broth and a chopped onion and stalk of celery.   It's just about as easy as Stovetop  and it's good.  Also, is there Stovetop cornbread stuffing?

There is Stovetop cornbread stuffing, but the first ingredient is wheat.  So not gluten free.  It's now my favorite version of stovetop.  

[meee]

Whenever people start sharing their Thanksgiving menus, I have to laugh because I cook like that almost every week.  In a Jewish household, Shabbat is generally around four courses (fish, soup, main, dessert), with multiple kugels (um, puddings? not sure how to translate it), challah bread, side vegetables, etc.

And now I'm picturing Teri trying to cook for Shabbat every week. It's a good thing they're not Jewish (or, I guess Messianic or something).

[nastyhobbitses]

18 minutes ago, meee said:

Whenever people start sharing their Thanksgiving menus, I have to laugh because I cook like that almost every week.  In a Jewish household, Shabbat is generally around four courses (fish, soup, main, dessert), with multiple kugels (um, puddings? not sure how to translate it), challah bread, side vegetables, etc.

And now I'm picturing Teri trying to cook for Shabbat every week. It's a good thing they're not Jewish (or, I guess Messianic or something).

I'm a bad Jew and basically never do Shabbat, but my family is super into cooking (dad's a huge foodie), and when I went home to visit my parents this week, every night we made multiple-course dinners because it was fun and pretty easy once you decide what to make and divide the labor (I did prep, dad cooked). I understand that Teri is depressed, but you'd think that "Mary does the spuds, I do the turkey, Anna does salad, Sarah takes pictures of our smiles never reaching our eyes" would be a no-brainer after like 40 years.

[meee]

Right. Or even that plus "each of us does one side dish the day before" so there's more variety.

And I can't help but think "Amish Anna" could singlehandedly whip up a Thanksgiving dinner with no help from the rest of them. No but seriously, all the married women should be contributing a dish. (or do they? I didn't actually read the post.)

[lilith]

5 minutes ago, meee said:

Right. Or even that plus "each of us does one side dish the day before" so there's more variety.

And I can't help but think "Amish Anna" could singlehandedly whip up a Thanksgiving dinner with no help from the rest of them. No but seriously, all the married women should be contributing a dish. (or do they? I didn't actually read the post.)

It seems “guests” (extended family) bring such frivolous additions as cranberry sauce, which Teri not so graciously tolerates.......

[Hane]

Two desserts. Two. Flipping. Desserts. 

AMATEURS.

I’m the baker in my family, so T-Day is my day to shine.  I’ve supplied as many as five of the following for my extended family (which isn’t even all that big):  Pumpkin pie, double-crust apple pie, apple crumb pie, cranapple crunch pie, apple-mincemeat pie, sweet potato-pecan pie, sugar-free pumpkin chiffon pie, and Jamaican gingerbread. (I also make a killer sweet potato challah for leftover-turkey sandwiches.) This year, I ran into some fun-looking pie-prettying tips on Facebook, and I can’t wait to try them. 

In my family, the day after Thanksgiving is as big a deal as the actual day. Because one of my sisters spends T-Day with her husband’s family, we all get together on Thanksgiving Friday to eat leftovers, chill, and divvy up whatever food is left.

I am an odd duck because November is my favorite month, as it contains my birthday and T-Day. (When I was a kid, I used to have three birthday parties: one for the neighborhood kids, one for my zillions of local cousins, and then a trip to New York to celebrate with my mom’s parents, as they, my mom, and I all had birthdays within the same week.)

Oh, and somehow my sister and I manage to put together The Thanksgiving Dinner That Can’t Be Beat without a spreadsheet. It’s usually something like “Which one of us is doing the yams/cranberry sauce/broc ‘n’ cheese?”

[anjulibai]

4 hours ago, terranova said:

I'm curious how pasta became a thanksgiving food stuff? I mean, turkey, corn, beans, and so on I can understand, but pasta doesn't seem very Pilgrimy.

Italians.  My maternal grandmother is half Italian and learned to cook from her Italian side. There's a recipe that's been passed down for who knows how long of special raviolis that she makes every year. It's a pretty involved process. She makes a bunch before Thanksgiving, and they are served at both Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

I....don't actually like them all that much, but my family loves them. 

A lot of different ethnic groups have added their own spin on Thanksgiving over the years. I know of Mexican-American families that make turkey enchiladas. 

[Rosie]

7 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

I saw the header picture of the 7-layer Salad of Sadness, and... I admit it.  I fell for it. I thought "This is it! The Post that was Promised! Pizza Cutter porn, here we go!!!!!"

But, no. I can't believe I let those smug assholes honey-dick me with that lettuce post yet again. I feel violated.

 

Add me to the list of people who are surprised that a lucid adult woman with THREE forever-alone-together adult daughters, needs to reference a computer file to remember to make 6 items for an annual family gathering. Not only is the menu really, really short, she's acknowledged that they've made the same thing for nearly forty years. Is it really that hard to keep track of two meats, two deserts, one side and a salad? 

I had the same thought - what are the "traditional" foods if they have two meats, potatoes, a salad, and two desserts?  I'm looking for the intrigue that necessitates a post and a record on her computer, and am coming up with nothing.

[Captain Obvious]

3 minutes ago, Rosie said:

 I'm looking for the intrigue that necessitates a post and a record on her computer, and am coming up with nothing.

Breathing. That's what necessitates a blog post and a spreadsheet in Maxwelland.

[Rosie]

1 minute ago, Captain Obvious said:

Breathing. That`s what gets you a blog post and a spreadsheet in Maxwelland.

Yep.  Breathing.

I would only add that for a family who seem obsessed with health in general, that meal is very lacking in green vegetables.  To say the least.

[Miggy]

I seem to have missed the announcement that Elissa is pregnant again. Can someone tell me where the discussion is? (I went back through several pages of thanksgiving dinner discussion before getting bored.) I know Maxwell grandchildren are being produced pretty much continuously but I still want the goss!

[usedbicycle]

@Miggy Sarah accidentally posted a picture with Elissa's bump in the background in the post on Anna's Birthday.

They did damage control by pretending it was a hidden announcement and confirmed the pregnancy in the following post.  They are intentionally vague about the due date, but Elissa looks about 7 months. 

 

[singsingsing]

Conspiracy theory time: maybe Joseph and Elissa asked the Maxwells to keep their pregnancy private and not announce it on the blog. And maybe the Maxwells just couldn't stand that, so they 'accidentally' leaked a photo that showed Elissa clearly pregnant and then went to them all like, "Oops! SO sorry, you guys! What should we do now?!"

[MamaJunebug]

On 11/3/2017 at 8:51 AM, Bajovane said:

 

 I’m sorry about the bogus quote box. 

When I read about them adding a second!! dessert!!! Because, so many people!, I almost took to my room, Teri-like. 

One of the treats of thanksgiving day in our family was to have little extras like a variety of desserts, your choice of dressings (with or without sausage) and meats (nobody really liked turkey but we had a little, with ham as the main meat).

The Stevil’s design for control of his Family includes the common cult asceticism of just enough food and a whole lot of exercise: keep ‘em hungry and dependent. Oh and of course: don’t let anybody “get fat.”  Not that slimness and an Aryan body ideal is an idol to them, but ... yeah it is. One of their many.

I'm trying to figure out how to combine “Teri” with “Wormwood,” since she IS the first lieutenant in The Stevil's Evil Plans. Alas, it’s probably futile.

It just saddens me, the degree of dull and deprivation these people endure to serve Stevil’s neuroses. Could be worse, I suppose.

[HereticHick]

After marriage, I think Chels will start inviting various Maxwells over for dinner, and she and John's house will quickly become the most popular place in Maxwellvania.

She'll probably have a garden, since the Bontragers have multiple big gardens, and she'll become the most popular babysitter in the family as well.

[church_of_dog]

20 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Maxwellvania.

Brilliant!