Maxwell 14: Editing Out Fun-Loving

[mango_fandango]

8 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

I envy the post-birth vulva rolls.  I could eat a bunch of those. 

What are those? Don't fancy googling might have already done so oops

[OhNoNike]

7 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

What are those? Don't fancy googling might have already done so oops

Oh no!  I meant the recipe linked from max blog. Do not Google! Lol

[fundiefan]

46 minutes ago, WonderingInWA said:

Teri's salad sounds disgusting.  What an artery-clogger!

It's a fucked up version of a 7 layer salad.

Ee eat it as a full blown side dish, not a 'salad' dish.  We also make it much better than they do and with less dressing and actually, more than 7 layers. But, it's essentially the same thing. I love it. Ours, not theirs. 

Making it in an extra large, deep salad bowl and making about half the amount of dressing they do helps lighten it up. Plus, the dressing is supposed to be a layer, not a fucking frosting spread. Near the top (thus wider) part of the bowl, spread thin - again, not like frosting - when it's all chilled & mixed together it's to die for. 

They make 3.5 freaking cups of the dressing - I can't imagine. And in a flat pan with only 5 layers - - that shit is all dressing and, just ugh!

Also, the deep bowl serves a purpose - it's a visual. Mound the lettuce like a volcano and circle the sides of the bowl with the other stuff- it's not just a pile and it uses less. I don't have a clear bowl but I use the method. And, no ranch dressing mix .Just no. It's mayo, sour cream, sugar if you want but I never do, and parmesan cheese.

Made right, 7 (or more) layer salad is awesome. As usual, the Maxwells took something wonderful and turned it to shit.

 

[lilith]

So mashed potato is a holiday dish that they don’t normally eat? Wow.....

i cant help wondering if some of the answers on the blog are snark, specifically this:

”Hi, I love seeing how other people celebrate Thanksgiving and what their menu is!!! If you do not mind can I ask a couple questions regarding food? We also have a large family so it’s fun to see other large family meals.
How big is your Turkey?
How big is your Ham?
Is it correct that you only have the Salad and One Vegetable?
How big is the pan or pans of Salad and Vegetable?
Sorry if I sound nosy but we were just wondering and comparing to what we have. We so enjoy your Godly blog. It’s so uplifting and encouraging.”

and the following post listing all the components of a reader’s Thanksgiving feast.

[mango_fandango]

That HAS to be someone trolling the Maxwells. The sad thing is that the Maxwells wouldn’t recognise a troll if it danced in front of them naked, although it would give them the vapours. 

[Eclipse]

I made the mistake of looking up Teri's favourite salad. The picture made me want to vomit. For a group of people who have made an idol out of homemaking skills, why can't they make an edible or healthy salad ? No wonder they are skinny, the food they eat looks horrible most of the time. 

[Black Aliss]

I also had to look up the salad post. FFS, it's not that complicated. I could have made that when my kids were babies, although I'm not a huge fan of mayonnaise or ranch dressing so, never mind.

I also realized from that post that the pizza cutter is used only on the romaine leaves. One uses a  conventional chef's knife to cut the iceberg lettuce. Huh.

[SPHASH]

9 hours ago, Hane said:

Reminds me of something at Christmas Mass one year: Deacon Smith (who was every bit as white-bread as his name) was giving the homily, and said, “Last night, as we sat down to our Christmas Eve dinner of roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and peas...” and I thought, “That’s not Christmas Eve dinner—that’s Tuesday!” And I felt so bad for him, as ours had been an elaborate antipasto, shrimp marinara, and a gorgeous crown roast with all the trimmings.

Re the Thanksgiving Pasta:  Yes, a super-Italian thing! Many Italian-American families have a pasta course before the main course at holiday dinners. My mom’s mother made her famous homemade ravioli.  Here’s our typical Christmas dinner from back in the day:

A toast of Asti Spumante 

Grandpa’s shrimp sautéed in marinara sauce

Antipasto:  A buffet of Italian cold cuts and cheeses, olives, salmon pate, bean salads, sardines, kippers, anchovies, celery, fennel, bread sticks, roasted peppers, and God knows what else

Grandma’s homemade ravioli

And then everybody groaned and pushed our chairs away from the table. The main course—“American” foods like a ham or turkey, vegetables, potatoes, and green salad—never got served till late in the day, with the meat made into sandwiches and eaten while the grownups played cards.

My mom’s father loved Christmas. His last name was SanNicola, and he used to say, “I’m the REAL Santa Claus!” He and Grandma raised their three kids during the Depression, in which he’d lost his shirt.  By the 1940s, his business recovered, and he and Grandma were quite well-to-do by the time we grandkids came along. They loved showering their generosity on us.  Driving to Grandma and Grandpa’s big white house and seeing the Christmas tree in the window and the stockings hung on the fireplace mantelpiece—priceless.

Poor Maxhellions. They’ll never have anything like that.

 

I wish I had grandparents like yours.

[nastyhobbitses]

14 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

Breathing. That's what necessitates a blog post and a spreadsheet in Maxwelland.

I'm just thrilled that at least most of them seem to have mastered object permanence. But then again, maybe they use Chore-Paks to document that their nieces still exist even when they go home after Auntie Playtime.

[picklepizzas]

...did anyone catch teri's comment about the complexities of shopping with a grocery list on a phone? gee willikers you'd think it was heart surgery. 

also, does anyone else always read "NR Anna" as "Not Real Anna"? 

[nastyhobbitses]

5 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

..did anyone catch teri's comment about the complexities of shopping with a grocery list on a phone? gee willikers you'd think it was heart surgery. 

Every time I read about the Maxwells finding very simple things very complicated, or making very simple things needlessly complicated, I just think of the internet meme "Instructions unclear, penis caught in ceiling fan".

[socalrules]

I am wondering how you can have too many Thanksgiving leftovers. If you have so many people, wouldn’t it just be easier to have everyone take something home for a snack later? Why make less? The only thing I can think they have too much leftover would be the rolls. Maybe they made 28 rolls for 25 People. It doesn’t even seem as though they make enough food for 25 people in general. I imagine everyone gets a frozen dinner size portion. The salad looks great until the dressing is added to the top. I don’t like dressing poured until I am about to eat or the salad because soggy. 

Slightly off/on topic. My friend has been tasked with making pumpkin bread pudding for thanksgiving and has asked me to try her test batch. I am way too excited by this offer. 

[ViolaSebastian]

They have four people who are unemployed or underemployed. You'd think they could spare the time for like, two veg and two sides. Even an extra pie flavor, given that Anna loves to cook and all. 

[lilith]

11 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

They have four people who are unemployed or underemployed. You'd think they could spare the time for like, two veg and two sides. Even an extra pie flavor, given that Anna loves to cook and all. 

Anna the chef who just loves to cook - but is relegated to prep work for her mothers incredibly boring and predictable holiday meals each year.

And HOW can that meal require hours of prep work from five grown women the day before thanksgiving? What the hell are they all doing?

I’m guessing Gigi is using a plain old fashioned knife to chop lettuce because she too is waiting for Sarah’s revolutionary blog post that will explain the secret pizza cutter trick to the masses. She’s only extended family after all, I’m sure she isn’t in on all the secrets of the inner circles of Maxhell. Even  I can tell them that they shouldn’t be using a pizza cutter or a knife on lettuce they are preparing a day in advance though - the leaves should be torn to minimise wilting. And I managed to master that skill even though I went to uni instead of spending my youth learning honemaking, and  managed to tell you about it without teasing a blogpost for 2 plus years. And no spreadsheets were required at all!

[FloraDoraDolly]

3 hours ago, socalrules said:

I am wondering how you can have too many Thanksgiving leftovers. If you have so many people, wouldn’t it just be easier to have everyone take something home for a snack later? Why make less? The only thing I can think they have too much leftover would be the rolls. Maybe they made 28 rolls for 25 People. It doesn’t even seem as though they make enough food for 25 people in general. I imagine everyone gets a frozen dinner size portion. The salad looks great until the dressing is added to the top. I don’t like dressing poured until I am about to eat or the salad because soggy.

You'd think the daughters-in-law would appreciate lots of leftovers. Even if there are too many rolls, you can slice them in half, stick in a couple pieces of turkey and voila-- a sandwich for one of the kids! The older kids could even make those themselves.

[Captain Obvious]

How strange that Teri finally acknowledges that she and Steve did come from a (liberal) Christian background after all, and after all these years.

I wonder what brought that on?

[lilith]

1 hour ago, Captain Obvious said:

How strange that Teri finally acknowledges that she and Steve did come from a (liberal) Christian background after all, and after all these years.

I wonder what brought that on?

I don’t know, but it’s in direct contradiction to what Steve’s been saying for years.

[nastyhobbitses]

2 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

How strange that Teri finally acknowledges that she and Steve did come from a (liberal) Christian background after all, and after all these years.

I wonder what brought that on?

Maybe someone pointed out that it's implicitly really disrespectful to their parents, one of whom is still alive and very present in their lives?

[LurkerOverThePond]

@mango_fandango, the John Lewis christmas ads you mentioned... I googled them and fell in love with the penguin story of 2014 <3

[iheartjnames]

Turkey bowls!  I usually make a turkey for just husband and I on black friday, I also make all the sides and we have turkey bowls. 

first it's the stuffing, then mashed potatoes, corn, turkey and then you pour large amounts of gravy over the whole mess, with a crescent roll chaser...  It's heaven in a bowl.  

[johnhugh]

12 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

That HAS to be someone trolling the Maxwells. The sad thing is that the Maxwells wouldn’t recognise a troll if it danced in front of them naked, although it would give them the vapours. 

You would be suprised, it’s very rare I get a comment passed these days.  Stevie is more worldly then he makes out, though said comment wasn’t me. Though a certain Australian soap popular in the U.K. still fails on him....

Very interesting that his actual father wrote to him to say he was saved. I’m guessing that the people in Stevie’s eyes who are generally saved are only truly saved if they sign up to his version of Christianity i.e. no BEAST, no sports, no Easter eggs, no Christmas trees and wear frumpers.

[albanuadh_1]

I found in our family, at least, leftovers from Christmas and Thanksgiving tasted even better.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

11 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

They have four people who are unemployed or underemployed. You'd think they could spare the time for like, two veg and two sides. Even an extra pie flavor, given that Anna loves to cook and all. 

Oh but isn't she the daughter who works for FOUR companies??? And "studies" graphic design??? lol..

[anjulibai]

52 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Oh but isn't she the daughter who works for FOUR companies??? And "studies" graphic design??? lol..

That's Mary. Not sure about Anna Elizabeth.

 

BTW, because they required NR Anna to be Anna Marie, I've decided I'm going to start calling Anna "Anna Elizabeth" because that's stupid to make NR Anna change her name, but not Anna Elizabeth. 

[iheartjnames]

I was thinking the other day when someone mentioned that forgotten Jesse does something in computers, why don't they create an app for their 'managers of the home'. BTW in the 90's i knew many homeschool moms that swore by this, and an app would be a great next step. 

I say all tha, tbut  all the moms that I knew that homeschooled (me being one of them) the next generation just don't want to do it.  Back in the day the church I belonged to had hundreds of families that all homeschooled, now it's the opposite from my perspective.