Dillards 38: Still Chewing on that Foot in His Mouth

[laPapessaGiovanna]

4 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

I'm sure most atheists don't but some do, definitely. I went to high school with two boys, who were atheists and Marxists, and that was literally all they talked about. If you mentioned something about God, you had to spend the next hour shooing them away, because they would keep pestering you telling you that you were wrong and atheism (and Marxism) was the only way forward, and it was proper exhausting. So now I find it a little weird when someone mentions they are an atheist. 

Ime when teens are into something be it politics, music, games or whatever, they talk about it incessantly. People usually grow up after high school.

Also, not implying that you meant it but just to clarify since some people in this thread don't seem to have much experience with atheists, atheism =/= marxism. Marxism embraces atheism as a way to free the people from a supposed spiritual and material servitude, but atheists are of many kinds and most of them aren't marxist. I felt the needs to specify it because to me it seems that in American culture "marxist" is a sort of bad expletive.

[Palimpsest]

5 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This is most likely a 1st offence so he'd just get a slap on the wrist. 

From the perspective of someone who has only volunteered with non-profits, failure to file a Form 990 is more naughty than anything else.  It's not likely that the IRS will come after Derick.   Especially with tiny 501(c)3s like Dillard Family Ministries the IRS doesn't have the time or staffing.

I think the IRS gives a grace period and then issues a warning to get things up to date.  If the non-profit fails to file, after about 3 years their 501(c)3 status is removed.

That said, I always check Guidestar and review the Form 990s before donating to any charity.  I like at least 75% of my donations to go to the causes they claim to support - not into the pockets of senior executives.

So, a non-profit failing to file a Form 990 in a timely fashion is a huge negative in my book and I won't donate.  Other people may not care so much.

 

[Carm_88]

11 hours ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

Derrick isn't too old to pick his old accounting career back up by a long shot...

Completely agreed with all of this and would like to throw in the main reason; Derick is allergic to work! He doesn't want to work, he wants to be going around annoying the piss out of people and then screaming about how he's persecuted. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

I am NOT mean! And @VelociRapture we vegans are so enlightened that we never argue!  

I didn't know you were one! Now I'll have to tease you mercilessly for the time being 

[DinglyDoll]

4 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

So, you're saying you wouldn't have been offended if I'd said, "she's a Christian, and that's unfortunate." ??? 

Absolutely not. 

[formergothardite]

7 minutes ago, DinglyDoll said:

Absolutely not. 

Can you explain how it isn't a negative to say someone's belief is unfortunate? How that isn't judging it to be bad? 

[formergothardite]

24 minutes ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

I didn't know you were one! Now I'll have to tease you mercilessly for the time being 

Clearly I'm not doing a good enough job at being an annoying vegan atheist! 

[Georgiana]

18 minutes ago, DinglyDoll said:

Absolutely not. 

That's lovely, but the statement itself was both negative and offensive.  While YOU PERSONALLY might not take offense to something like that, it is perfectly reasonable for OTHER people (possibly even MOST people) to be offended by your statement and call you out accordingly.  It was disrespectful, and no matter what your intentions were, people have every right to feel disrespected. 

For example, I am not personally offended by being called "fat".  For me, my current weight is just an unfortunate side effect of my tough recent battle with mental illness.  I know I'm fat now.  I'm not mad at myself for it, I'm not sensitive about it, I don't love myself any less.  It's just my current state, and it will change.  

But that doesn't mean I can go around calling OTHER people fat and expect them to be OK with it.  That is generally an insult, and while I don't personally take it that way, it doesn't invalidate other people being offended by my commentary.  

[DinglyDoll]

25 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Can you explain how it isn't a negative to say someone's belief is unfortunate? How that isn't judging it to be bad? 

I made an "unfortunate" comment. I have indicated that I wasn't intentionally being offensive. To put a final STAMP on any belief can be unfortunate, because we stop embracing and considering other perspectives. That's what I meant.

My family is multicultural and multinational and consists of Catholics, anthroposophists, Baptists, and those who hold no religion. I have lived as a completely nonreligious person for the past three years, just sort of naturally. Calling myself atheist would be too final, and there's so much gray area in life, that I am not going to eliminate god from my consideration. I will soon be taking yet another anatomy class, and the marvelously detailed systems of the human body (and of the universe, even) are not random, so I have a thought that there is a god or power or intelligence that Christianity has portrayed very wrongly for a myriad of reasons relating to power, dominance, and money. But I don't know. I wonder and wander.

This conversation stops here with me. Please admin, delete that post if you wish. I tried, but couldn't edit or delete. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Is it time for those nail polish photos yet?

[candygirl200413]

I actually had to un-learn my dislike for atheists (the only thing my evangelical church was able to change me on originally) but that changed real quickly and now I'm full on accepting and understanding. The only negative interaction I had with one is one told me how as a Christian I could not agree with science or listen to science. It was years ago but honestly one of the weirdest things I've heard. After telling him that the majority of my Christian family were flaming liberials and in various STEM fields he shut up.

Is the nail polish for the wedding though? Which now I think about it I"m surprised there wasn't a clip when they showed us Joy's wedding with Jill going on about how wonderful of a husband derrick is for that

[nausicaa]

6 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

I'm sure most atheists don't but some do, definitely. I went to high school with two boys, who were atheists and Marxists, and that was literally all they talked about. If you mentioned something about God, you had to spend the next hour shooing them away, because they would keep pestering you telling you that you were wrong and atheism (and Marxism) was the only way forward, and it was proper exhausting. So now I find it a little weird when someone mentions they are an atheist. 

So you knew two teenage boys (an age when people hyperfocus on their identities and are fundamentalist about everything from heavy metal to their preferred backpack brand) who were annoying as shit and now you find it weird whenever any of the 10 million or so atheists in the U.S.  mentions that he or she is an atheist?

Okay... . Interesting critical reasoning and extrapolation skills there.

[SamiKatz]

2 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

So you knew two teenage boys (an age when people hyperfocus on their identities and are fundamentalist about everything from heavy metal to their preferred backpack brand) who were annoying as shit and now you find it weird whenever any of the 10 million or so atheists in the U.S.  mentions that he or she is an atheist?

Okay... . Interesting critical reasoning and extrapolation skills there.

I'm sure people have reactions to other people being told someone is Christian, based on the conduct of previous Christians they have met/read about. Of course, it doesn't mean it's your final impression of that person, but I think a lot of people have preconceived notions about someone else's belief system. 

I also think that teenage boys (and girls), may or may not change their minds on things they were passionate about as a kid.

[VelociRapture]

@DinglyDollAdmins don't delete posts here. If a post breaks a rule (like stating that a minor/adult child living with their Fundie parents is gay) they'll edit it to remove the content that isn't allowed. Once you post something you have a set time in which you can edit it yourself - after that you're out of luck. Just something to keep in mind for future reference.

@candygirl200413Nail polish is one of the standard ways posters here quickly change a subject when things get heated or tense and people need to be distracted. Personally, I favor a derailment related to adorable animals or hot celebrities.

(And if Kendra doesn't have mint wedding nails - in honor of those mints she tried to steal from Joseph's pocket - I will be very sad. )

[freethemall]

8 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Is it time for those nail polish photos yet?

Hah meaning Jill's fate in a dumb MLM scheme? I'm surprised Jessa hasn't hawked one yet.

Also, I would just like to say reading through these threads that it is absolutely ridiculous when people post about Jill and Derick no longer being in love or loving each other, their marriage being a sham, that you can tell he's unhappy about her as a Proverbs 31 woman, or anything about their relationship. We can all snark all we want based on the moments these couples are willing to share with us, but none of us really know anything about their personal relationships, how strong they are, how much they love each other, etc. It's funny that people snark on them doing googly eyes at each other and being overly-affectionate, but when they don't show affection everyone assumes their marriage is in trouble. My husband and I love each other a lot and roll our eyes at each other all the time and bicker and at the surface you could make all kinds of assumptions about us but we love each other a lot and have been married almost 5 years, dated 8 years before that, and that's just how we are. Fundie or not, it's always important to remember you know nothing about someone else's marriage from the outside.

*Rant done*

[nausicaa]

4 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I'm sure people have reactions to other people being told someone is Christian, based on the conduct of previous Christians they have met/read about. Of course, it doesn't mean it's your final impression of that person, but I think a lot of people have preconceived notions about someone else's belief system. 

I agree, but hopefully we at least create these preconceived notions based on multiple experiences, rather than one set of obnoxious teenage boys from high school and hold to that well into adulthood. That is a childish mindset, in my opinion.

[PracticeMakesProgress]

To those who (several pages back) gave insight to my question about drag culture vs. trans women, I appreciate it. Frankly, regardless of where people fall on the opinion spectrum, I feel it's a good thing that there is more mainstream visibility of a previously underground and marginalized community(ies). If we now have enough representatives in popular media formats to highlight disagreements, then isn't that somehow progress? I can understand the desire to want to appear unified, but I guess I naively assume that exhibiting a very real fact of human nature (conflict), actually helps, well, normalize. And isn't that the goal? Just my thoughts...

Anyway, back to our favorite voluntourists, I think a combination of Jill's disillusionment with extended missionary life, expanding family with lack of extended family support, the inevitable questions about Cathy's health after already losing one parent, difficulty in establishing consistent funding due to lack of church home base (Internet leghumpers aside) are all pulling. I agree with what others have said, the "God dialed my personal cell phone with Jesus on speaker and told me this..." is nauseating. Why not simply say, "We have made this decision, and pray for guidance." See the difference? Ownership. Admit your "mission work" is as much about personal choices as it is a divine calling.

On a personal note, this has been the cynical rub I've had with many missionaries I've known and known via the churches I would attend at the time. There seems to be this personal need to be special, more, and sure, it's hidden well under the veil of "furthering the kingdom," but ultimately, there was this inability to plug into "normal" life. Now, don't get me wrong, if you spend years, on and off, of your life building shelter, providing medical care, food, etc., to people in need, that's admirable. However, if you spend years of other peoples' money handing out tracts, talking, playing football, and not paying taxes, then, I'd argue the United States, with all of its well-provisioned non-believuuurs is a much more fertile ground for your "ministry." So why don't you do this? Because being an intelligent, well-spoken, cog in a machine with subtle, but profound influence carries no glory.

 

 

[Destiny]

51 minutes ago, DinglyDoll said:

This conversation stops here with me. Please admin, delete that post if you wish. I tried, but couldn't edit or delete

You may want to consider perusing some of the material under guidelines. We don’t delete posts that don’t break the rules, and we most definitely won’t delete posts to keep a poster from having to own their words.  

15 minutes ago, freethemall said:

My husband and I love each other a lot and roll our eyes at each other all the time and bicker and at the surface you could make all kinds of assumptions about us but we love each other a lot and have been married almost 5 years, dated 8 years before that, and that's just how we are. Fundie or not, it's always important to remember you know nothing about someone else's marriage from the outside

Are you me? Mister and I are like that and while I might want to kill him some days we have been together for nearly 20 years and love each other very much. Most days.

[TeaGrannie]

As far as Izzy in flip flops I just assumed he refused to wear his regular shoes and that was what they could get on his feet. 

[SorenaJ]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

So you knew two teenage boys (an age when people hyperfocus on their identities and are fundamentalist about everything from heavy metal to their preferred backpack brand) who were annoying as shit and now you find it weird whenever any of the 10 million or so atheists in the U.S.  mentions that he or she is an atheist?

Okay... . Interesting critical reasoning and extrapolation skills there.

It's hardly unusual. Everyone does it. Like if someone taught a student who was annoying af, and they think of that name, it is a naughty/annoying name, and they associate that name with a naughty child. Everyone extrapolates. Doesn't mean it's correct, but it is human. 

@Palimpsest I really didn't miss the sarcasm. I responded to the non-sarcastic. And how is me saying certain people in a group can be annoying insulting the entire group? If I say "some men are annoying" I am not insulting men. Some men are annoying. Some vegans are annoying. Some Christians are annoying. All fundamentalists are annoying. 

 

Oh and yes, for sure, atheism =/= marxism. 

[2manyKidzzz]

@PracticeMakesProgress This is so spot on, your post. DeWreck really wants to be "special". Because he wasn't doing anything worthwhile and Jill and the children would be at risk, as well as future pregnancies and potential crisis deliveries. 

DeWreck is a hot mess. I don't like to look at the Dullards, but it will be better now that they won't go back to SCA and put their children at risk. And Jill. 

She can bake banana bread in Arkansas. Yes. 

[VelociRapture]

29 minutes ago, TeaGrannie said:

As far as Izzy in flip flops I just assumed he refused to wear his regular shoes and that was what they could get on his feet. 

Derick was the one in flip flops. Not Izzy. 

(Though I get your confusion. Derick seems to enjoy throwing tantrums fit for a toddler. At least Izzy's temper tantrums don't include bullying teenage girls.)

[SeekingAdventure]

just to throw in my two cents.. stop hating on the banana bread already 

 

 i love baking banana bread and I strongly dislike the association of my yummy peanut butter nutella filled banana bread with DeWreck Dullard and Jillymuffin... I also strongly dislike them, but for the sake of those two children, I hope in personal life they are a lot less the trainwreck they seem to be on social media, because those kids need grown ups as parents and it certainly doesn't seem that either DeWreck nor Jillymuffin have found their big-kid pants yet...

[Incognito22]

Uh can we get a recipe for the aforementioned peanut butter Nutella banana bread?  It might be a spiritual thing cause it sounds angelic! ( see what I did there)

[TeaGrannie]

17 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Derick was the one in flip flops. Not Izzy. 

(Though I get your confusion. Derick seems to enjoy throwing tantrums fit for a toddler. At least Izzy's temper tantrums don't include bullying teenage girls.)

oops, well at least he has something on his feet,