Dillards 93: Counting the Cost - Indeed

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[FleeJanaFree]

Part 10 of summary

buckle up this is the craziest part yet

Spoiler

Ok I guessed wrong. We jump into them returning “for a few months” for filming and some weddings. She doesn’t want to go home.

 

They got a partial contract copy. Part of it was she had to disclose to the network if she found out she was pregnant . She recognizes the date- the day before she was married. She realized her dad tricked her. She is relieved people are still nice to her when the cameras go away. She was worried she’s be shunned. 

 

She discovers she’s pregnant. There was a virus going around Latin America particularly for pregnant women. They decide to stay in America a while. 

 

JB offers 80k to all the adults kids and tells them all to thank Derick for it. They just need to sign something. Jill and Derrick wonder why now, why 80k, what’s the document? They don’t feel like they can have a real conversation with JB and think JB has an angle. JB even tells the kids not to discuss the money with anyone else . They get the document and show it to a lawyer. It wasn’t a contract with tlc it was a company JB and Michelle created, mad family inc. for 80k, they would be obligated to 7 years!!!! (And more unlimited years if the company chose!! What!) and make their entire family  with any future children available for any show the company made or participated in. The additional filming rate would have to be accepted without negotiation. And sign an NDA. That would remain THE REST IF THEIR LIVES . (Ok I have a *brief* background in the legal field and this is pretty much unheard of. At least when I worked. There’s usually a seven year max limit and there needs to be proof it would be detrimental in some way to company secrets/livelihood) Jimbob really is the devil. To do this to your own children. He belongs in hell. Good for them for not signing. That was an insane deal. I think this explains a lot about Jessa being JBs dancing monkey. Most of the adult kids were ok with it. 

 

They are still trying to get the whole of the contract Jill signed before the wedding. 

 

JB decides to give them 80k without a signed document. I’d be afraid to accept that still. 

 

Jill and Derick decide to find a lawyer for the debacle over the release over the molestation details. Statute of limitations was approaching. Even with the 80k they still didn’t think they could afford a lawyer. Jill says her dad offers more money but Jill doesn’t want anymore from him. JB is concerned of how getting a lawyer will affect the show.

 

The international mission board calls them. It took about three years to get to this point. They’re asked if they are contractually bound in anyway to keep them from doing something the mission may ask of them. They say yes but they’ll quit the show. They’re asked for documentation of leaving the show. They send a resignation letter to tlc. Naive, much? You don’t even know what you’re already contracted to! But I also don’t get how they can’t get a copy of that contract when asked. I guess I can’t judge too hard on their actions because their hands were tied. 

 

At one point their ministry account has $1500 in it. The guy in charge of the account, Chad, quits and withdraws most of the rest of the money. They don’t have the energy to fight him for it. Jill is about to give birth and do exit interviews for the show. 

 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

I just finished it. 
 

Jill doesn’t talk about the “encouragement” beating sessions alluded to in Shiny Happy People, nor does she recount much about the sexual abuse itself. It was better and worse than I expected. 
 

 

[Unicorn28]

It's beyond disgusting that Josh was on a couch during the Megyn Kelly interview. No wonder Jill was crying so hard. To allow Josh to be there is appalling and any decent journalist wouldn't have allowed him the abuser there! JB is worse then I thought !  I hope Jill makes lots of money from the book! I hope is on the New York Bestseller list for a long time! I ordered my copy and am happy to help them! It wouldn't surprise me if Derick saying about Jazz Jennings was to get them off the show. Derick is educated and not raised in Gothard. He knew saying something like that would get them off the show. It shows how desperate they were to get off the show. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Part 11 summary 

 

Spoiler

Jill describes a very scary birth with Sam. She had excruciating pain even through an epidural, and then the anesthetist didn’t get there in time for her emergency c section. Jill thought she was going to die. She had a uterine rupture the size of dericks fist. They managed to save her life and uterus. It took 4 days for her to meet him as he was rushed to another hospital. There were signs he had a brain bleed and he had a stroke. 

 

JB was not on their visitor list but his fame got him in. The guy who quit their ministry tried to get JB to send him a photo of the baby and Derick got angry and confronted him. Chad, the guy JB was texting, denies it. 

 

Neurologist calls and lets them know they have good news for Samuel. No lasting damage at all is showing on the scans. They had been preparing themselves for significant disabilities. 

 

They are STILL waiting for documentation about no longer being on the show. They can’t move forward with the mission company they want so Derick enrolls in some preacher class thing I had totally forgotten about. 

Jill says she used birth control after Israel but she still felt guilty. She feels very triggered when she confides in a friend she might not be able to have a child and JB chimes in we don’t know that for sure. She did not appreciate him commenting on her uterus. She began to have fearful thoughts about not having more kids. If the doctors told her to not have more kids should she trust them or god? The talks of the conflict within her because she truly wanted more children but there was a part of her relived to have an excuse to not have nonstop pregnancies. Her pregnancies were hard on her. She doesn’t know if she could physically or emotionally handle a huge family. 

Jill struggles to connect to with people. She’s afraid to tell the truth about how she’s feeling. 

She enjoys her new church and likes how everyone wears what they want. She starts thinking about wearing pants and a nose ring. Derrick, when questioned by Jill, says men in the Bible wore robes which are basically skirts. A more enlightened statement than I expected from him. While she is still trying to get the nerve to wear pants herself, Jinger starts publicly wearing pants. She calls Jinger who tells her she did get some backlash behind closed doors. Jill does more research on her own, and tries wine. She didn’t like it.

They have a celebratory day for Sam’s clean bill of health with derricks family at silver dollar. It was cold so Jill decided to wear leggings for the first time publicly with just a shirt and coat rather than under a skirt. Of course they run into the Duggar family. 

She gets called into a meeting with her dad. He was pissed Jill didn’t talk about the decision with him before Jill wore them publicly. She feels he never respects her.

She gets her nose pierced but this time calls her parents to give them a heads up. She talks to Michelle but JB doesn’t pick up. She gets it done and then gets a call from dad pleading with her not to do it. Michelle later tells Jill she was glad JB didn’t pick up when Jill first called him because he was very angry. 

JB and her relationship is pretty much completely broken down by now. He sends her insincere apologies or texts of verses. Sometimes he involves the siblings. She writes a note saying she doesn’t feel good about going into conversations if he’s just going to verbally abuse her every time she speaks up. She wants him to listen. 

 

[twoandthrough]

I just finished the audiobook. Wow. Like others have said, it was both more and less than I expected. I guess she couldn't hit on everything. It definitely wasn't a tell-ALL, but it sure is damning. I'm glad I chose to listen to the audiobook read by Jill herself. You can hear the raw emotion in her voice at times.

[Scrabblemaster]

Okay, I will definitely buy the book. I was not sure about it, but what I've read here on this first side of the thread is so horrible and interesting at the same time.  It explains a lot. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

We’ve been saying Jesus wore something closer to a dress than pants for years on FJ. It’s funny to hear a fundie make that point. And Derick at that. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Summary part 12- one more to go! 
 

Spoiler

They get denied for the mission they wanted to do. They still don’t have the full contract. (How is that legal? Does tlc not have HR wtf is happening?) they are very upset about this.

 

Jill talks to her mom upset they lost the job. She tells JB who is like wow golly gee you should have said something. I could have helped . Derick snaps at him that JB isn’t entitled to know about his and Jill’s plans. THEN Jill gets a very partial part of the contract/ they thought it expired. It was June 2018, not 2019 like they guessed . They likely could have done the missions organization all along. That stings. They swallow their hurt instead of contacting the mission again because they still have no proof of the contract.

 

Derick gets accepted to law school. 

 

She vaguely addresses Dericks Twitter debacles. JB tells him to be careful and to come to him if they have problems

 

They write him a 27 page letter. He initially gives them an apology but then they get a letter from the IRS. They email the CPA who had done their taxes. Derick dives into it. He tells Jill his theory: the 80k her dad gave them. Her dads accountant told the irs that you’ve been receiving income from The show. Even the 80k that was gifted them wouldn’t cover the taxes. They owe $130k more! They call JBs CPA with questions. He seemed to be in the dark/ think Jill and Derrick had been aware of more than they were. JB tells them they should have been reinvesting money. Cool, that helps a lot with the problem at hand daddy. Jill wants to know why she hasn’t been paid what has been reported to the irs. 

 

Everyone agrees to a meeting with a mediator. JB is rude right off the bat. He demands an apology but Jill doesn’t give it. The mediator is useless. She tells him he treats her worse than her pedophile brother which stuns him. He says “well…” and the mediator decides that’s the perfect time for a break. We don’t get a lot of details from there. I’m dying to know JBs response. It lasted three hours and had lots of tears. When the parents leave, the mediator tells them they need professional help. 

 

They immediately get a licensed Christian therapist. Derick is all for it but Jill has reservations. New therapist recommends they have therapy, her parents have their own therapy, and eventually they all sign a release to share info with the other couples to help with a resolution. Yeah I don’t want JB having access to me talking to my th therapist. Approved Bullet points only! 

 

Sam’s 18 month check up is great.

 

There public has started to notice there’s a rift. 

 

Derick has trouble getting grants and scholarships for schools because it looks like they have more money than they have.  

 

JB sends them a list of things they have paid for Jill over her lifetime. 15k for a harp?! Sell that harp, Jill! He tells her she will get 1/19 of his money when he dies but if they attacks them, inheritance will be significantly lowered. He offers them a one time deal of 30k. They must accept it quickly or the number goes to 0. 

 

They hire a lawyer to get their contract, as well as rules and bylaws and minutes etc for mad family ink. Jill was a shareholder and should have had that anyway. He involves the siblings with texts, phone calls, and visits. She says this is an example of the strings attached when they accepted that 80k from JB. One sibling confides in Jill that JB told them if they don’t stand against jill on this , they are standing against him. She describes them as brainwashed which I think is a huge statement from her. 

 

A sibling sends a document and says JB says they have 24 hours to sign. He offers $20k that day to sign an NDA. They don’t. 

 

They wonder if they’ll need a court order for that damn contract info. Derick reasons it won’t have to come to that because they have reasonable requests a judge would grant and JB wouldn’t want the embarrassment .

 

One night after midnight someone starts hammering on their storm door. Jill was terrified. They go to the door and see her moms car. It was her at the door. Michelle left. They got a text from Michelle saying she left the complete contract from 2014 between the doors. I don’t know what to make of that. Did Michelle go beyond Jimbob back to help Jill? Or did JB order her to take it to avoid going to court? 

 

Each child would allegedly get 3% of the salary…but as an inheritance? I’m a little confused by this. Jill says they did the math and estimates tlc paid MAD over 8 million over the years. But when they asked for 10k for the hospital stay he pushed back. 

 

A sibling called excited saying JB will pay them 130k. to the surprise of no one it had conditions like not involving attorneys and signing an NDA. Be for fucking real. Jill tells them to tell JB to communicate with their lawyer lol. I love that for her. 

 

Jill says they didn’t sign an nda but they did get some money to pay the irs, attorney fees , and buy herself out of MAD shares. $175k. She feels this was just a blip of the family pot. 

 

 

 

Edited September 12, 2023 by FleeJanaFree

[gobucks]

15 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Summary part 12- one more to go! 
 

  Hide contents

They get denied for the mission they wanted to do. They still don’t have the full contract. (How is that legal? Does tlc not have HR wtf is happening?) they are very upset about this.

 

Jill talks to her mom upset they lost the job. She tells JB who is like wow golly gee you should have said something. I could have helped . Derick snaps at him that JB isn’t entitled to know about his and Jill’s plans. THEN Jill gets a very partial part of the contract/ they thought it expired. It was June 2018, not 2019 like they guessed . They likely could have done the missions organization all along. That stings. They swallow their hurt instead of contacting the mission again because they still have no proof of the contract.

 

Derick gets accepted to law school. 

 

She vaguely addresses Dericks Twitter debacles. JB tells him to be careful and to come to him if they have problems

 

They write him a 27 page letter. He initially gives them an apology but then they get a letter from the IRS. They email the CPA who had done their taxes. Derick dives into it. He tells Jill his theory: the 80k her dad gave them. Her dads accountant told the irs that you’ve been receiving income from The show. Even the 80k that was gifted them wouldn’t cover the taxes. They owe $130k more! They call JBs CPA with questions. He seemed to be in the dark/ think Jill and Derrick had been aware of more than they were. JB tells them they should have been reinvesting money. Cool, that helps a lot with the problem at hand daddy. Jill wants to know why she hasn’t been paid what has been reported to the irs. 

 

Everyone agrees to a meeting with a mediator. JB is rude right off the bat. He demands an apology but Jill doesn’t give it. The mediator is useless. She tells him he treats her worse than her pedophile brother which stuns him. He says “well…” and the mediator decides that’s the perfect time for a break. We don’t get a lot of details from there. I’m dying to know JBs response. It lasted three hours and had lots of tears. When the parents leave, the mediator tells them they need professional help. 

 

They immediately get a licensed Christian therapist. Derick is all for it but Jill has reservations. New therapist recommends they have therapy, her parents have their own therapy, and eventually they all sign a release to share info with the other couples to help with a resolution. Yeah I don’t want JB having access to me talking to my th therapist. Approved Bullet points only! 

 

Sam’s 18 month check up is great.

 

There public has started to notice there’s a rift. 

 

Derick has trouble getting grants and scholarships for schools because it looks like they have more money than they have.  

 

JB sends them a list of things they have paid for Jill over her lifetime. 15k for a harp?! Sell that harp, Jill! He tells her she will get 1/19 of his money when he dies but if they attacks them, inheritance will be significantly lowered. He offers them a one time deal of 30k. They must accept it quickly or the number goes to 0. 

 

They hire a lawyer to get their contract, as well as rules and bylaws and minutes etc for mad family ink. Jill was a shareholder and should have had that anyway. He involves the siblings with texts, phone calls, and visits. She says this is an example of the strings attached when they accepted that 80k from JB. One sibling confides in Jill that JB told them if they don’t stand against jill on this , they are standing against him. She describes them as brainwashed which I think is a huge statement from her. 

 

A sibling sends a document and says JB says they have 24 hours to sign. He offers $20k that day to sign an NDA. They don’t. 

 

They wonder if they’ll need a court order for that damn contract info. Derick reasons it won’t have to come to that because they have reasonable requests a judge would grant and JB wouldn’t want the embarrassment .

 

One night after midnight someone starts hammering on their storm door. Jill was terrified. They go to the door and see her moms car. It was her at the door. Michelle left. They got a text from Michelle saying she left the complete contract from 2014 between the doors. I don’t know what to make of that. Did Michelle go beyond Jimbob back to help Jill? Or did JB order her to take it to avoid going to court? 

 

Each child would allegedly get 3% of the salary…but as an inheritance? I’m a little confused by this. Jill says they did the math and estimates tlc paid MAD over 8 million over the years. But when they asked for 10k for the hospital stay he pushed back. 

 

A sibling called excited saying JB will pay them 130k. to the surprise of no one it had conditions like not involving attorneys and signing an NDA. Be for fucking real. Jill tells them to tell JB to communicate with their lawyer lol. I love that for her. 

 

Jill says they didn’t sign an nda but they did get some money to pay the irs, attorney fees , and buy herself out of MAD shares. $175k. She feels this was just a blip of the family pot. 

 

 

 

The contract was with Mad Family, not TLC. They were waiting on JB to send them the full contract from Mad. It appears only JB had a contract w TLC. 

Also, the accounting from JB was money totaling her rent, food, restaurants, clothing, etc since she was married, not during her childhood. It appears they all just used a JB credit card for all of their purchases while under his contract to film.

Edited September 12, 2023 by gobucks

[rebeccawriter01]

I haven't finished the audio book yet. It is on the triggering side for me because of my ex and his beliefs being very similar to Jim Bob. 

I have a love-hate feeling toward Derick, as I find him to be kind to Jill and supportive but also quite closed-minded and bigoted. When he was tweeting about wanting to do a book a few years ago, I shrugged. He wasn't with the family that long and who wanted to hear from him anyway. However, it is an interesting story from her. They were clearly treated horribly by Jim Bob. I don't excuse Michelle because she happened to do a nice thing or two along the way. 

Very scary how people like the Duggars can slip by as normal to so many.

Edited September 12, 2023 by rebeccawriter01

[justoneoftwo]

I'm impressed how much Jill stood up for herself early on. It might not have worked, but she tried. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

It sounds like Jill paints her mom as someone who always backs JB but also seems to want to keep the peace. 

[Ms. Brightside]

Looks like Jinger and Jeremy are on Jill’s side, despite being soft on her parents in their book. 

Jinger and Jeremy went on Tamron Hall’s show this morning (I’m guessing Jill supported this, since I heard about it via her posting an Instagram story “cheering them on”), and while I didn’t watch it, the clip Jinger chose to share on her Instagram was her calling Jill a “brave girl” who has finally “found her voice.” She said she loves and supports Jill, and knows that coming out with this book was hard. 

So it appears Jinger is still trying to play it all a bit more neutral than Jill in order to not alienate the family, but I’d imagine most of the other siblings won’t have anything positive to say publicly, so it’s still a bigger show of support than we’ve seen from any of the other siblings. 

Edited September 12, 2023 by Ms. Brightside

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Ms. Brightside said:

Looks like Jinger and Jeremy are on Jill’s side, despite being soft on her parents in their book. 

 

Jinger and Jeremy went on Tamron Hall’s show this morning (I’m guessing Jill supported this, since I heard about it via her posting an Instagram story “cheering them on”), and while I didn’t watch it, the clip Jinger chose to share on her Instagram was her calling Jill a “brave girl” who has finally “found her voice.” She said she loves and supports Jill, and knows that coming out with this book was hard. 
 

So it appears Jinger is still trying to play it all a bit more neutral than Jill, but I’d imagine most of the other siblings won’t have anything positive to say publicly, so it’s still a bigger show of support than we’ve seen from any of the other siblings. 

I’m glad Jinger is supportive. I’m just sad she’s now stuck in the MacArthur cult with Jeremy acting as patriarch even though he would probably deny it. 

[rebeccawriter01]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It sounds like Jill paints her mom as someone who always backs JB but also seems to want to keep the peace. 

Yes, I'm not surprised by this. Jill has been harmed (emotionally, financially, spiritually, etc.) by her father. Her mother is more passive and harder for her to blame. It is a huge step for her to place a large chunk of the blame at her father's feet. Someday she may come to understand her mother's role in this or maybe not. Just from public comment, I think that will be harder. How do you figure out Michelle's motivations and intentions? Nobody wants to believe a mother is capable of putting her husband before her children. The reverse is hard too, but in a different way for people raised like Jill. A mother is supposed to love and nurture. A father is supposed to lead. How does she reconcile a mother who at the least stood by and watched this all happen? 

[Ms. Brightside]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m glad Jinger is supportive. I’m just sad she’s now stuck in the MacArthur cult with Jeremy acting as patriarch even though he would probably deny it. 

Yeah, it seems like their appearance was just another way to promote the book singing the praises of her new headship, MacArthur. The clip cut out, but she said something like she knows this was hard because she just… presumably that sentence finishes with something about coming out with her own book. And there was another Instagram story with them and Tamron holding their book, not Jill’s.

But Jill has said more than once now that she would prefer all of this stayed private, because talking about it is hard but she feels like she needs her side of the story to be heard. She hasn’t done a big press tour like Jinger & Jeremy did, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t want to be on the talk shows and podcasts and all the things. I can’t blame her for that; in her shoes, I don’t think I’d want every random stranger to know about the hardest moments in my life either. 
 

So as much as it struck me as smarmy at first that Jinger & Jeremy went on a show to promote their own book today, Jill was likely grateful to have some of the pressure off and share the spotlight with them… now she has the benefit of all the people who are paying attention to them because of their recent marketing without having to do all of it herself.  

Edited September 12, 2023 by Ms. Brightside

[JermajestyDuggar]

I get why it’s harder for Jill. She’s taking on her dad. Jinger isn’t. Jinger is basically taking on a 90 year old man that got kicked out of IBLP almost 10 years ago. That’s easier.

[FleeJanaFree]

Part 12. Final summary

Spoiler

Jill enjoys a pina colada. Good for you Jill! They are celebrating sending Israel to school. Hell yes, girl! That is a big step. She says IBLP is a cult and her husband is a perfect example that you can be godly and go to public school. She chooses not to hide her cocktail from a photo. She says Derick had previously been photographed drinking a beer and JB offered to send him to rehab. Lol. 

In 2019 JB told her she can’t come to the big house anymore if he’s not there. They continued seeing their therapist and Jill found it very helpful. Some siblings still reach out to her for advice. Such as one brother asking for girl advice. He doesn’t want to confide in JB. Trust those instincts, kid. 

Jill slowly learns to talk honestly and open up. 

Grandma D dies. Jill talks to her therapist about how to navigate the situation. He recommends going straight up to JB and show him she cares. She goes to his house and tells him she’s sorry about grandma and gives him a hug. He tells her thank you. After the funeral they get invited back to the house. She says no. She goes to grieve at her own home. She feels like things start to shift here. They get more invites including events that don’t involve cameras. Jill can’t help but wonder if it’s so he can take and post pictures to squash rumors of a rift. 

They learn that the car lot got raided. She reads the statement JB put out. She doesn’t think he’s telling the truth. A sibling tells her hard drives were taken but it might be a setup.  She was relieved she wouldn’t have to do interviews for the show regarding this. 

In 2020 her and Derick do a q&a on Instagram and mostly get good comments. 

Homeland security comes to interview Jill. She’s never visited his car lot. She does not want to walk about her abuse from him. 

Josh gets arrested. Homeland security tells her they are releasing her interview to the defense. 

Show gets canceled again. 

She’s pregnant. She miscarried. She gets pregnant again.

She’s on a list of people to testify. She avoids reading about the trial as ordered by the judge. 

She noticed changes in her siblings in how they don’t immediately believe in their dad anymore. 

She never does get called to testify. She watches the closing arguments. She doesn’t outright say she was worried about his children being victims but it’s implied. She says the safest place for Josh to go is prison. She decides to not go back to court again. 

Josh is found guilty. They put out a statement .

Epilogue 

She gets advice from people who know her and her family. She talks to the father of one of her siblings fiancé who wants the truth about her family. I’m not entirely sure on what…writing this book? I don’t think she outrightly says. 

She gives her parents praise for some of their actions. She says she’s grateful AND realistic about the issues of growing up publicly. 

Her therapist recommends putting off parental mediation for now while they focus on healing. 

Her lawsuit against tontitown is unsuccessful. It gets dismissed. She blames Josh’s court case for this. 

Michelle is there for Freddie’s birth. They invite JB in to see the baby when he comes to pick her up. He hadn’t been to their house before or their previous house either. 

She ends the book by saying this is not a letter to her family. She loves her family and the highs aren’t invalidated by the lows. 

She thanks friends and family. 

Not a bombshell of a book and she delicately balances a tightrope of telling her truth and “going against” her family but far more interesting than Jingers.

she is careful not say anything to put her family in a bad light and I think she’s holding a door open for her siblings to still be able to confide in her. She extends a lot of grace to her parents even when she’s clearly upset with them at times. 
 

Hopefully I didn’t have too many typos or incomplete thoughts writing all these summaries. I was basically taking notes the entire time I listened. 

[TN-peach]

11 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

 

Hopefully I didn’t have too many typos or incomplete thoughts writing all these summaries. I was basically taking notes the entire time I listened. 

You did an amazing job.  Thank you!

[FiveAcres]

17 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Part 12. Final summary

  Reveal hidden contents

Jill enjoys a pina colada. Good for you Jill! They are celebrating sending Israel to school. Hell yes, girl! That is a big step. She says IBLP is a cult and her husband is a perfect example that you can be godly and go to public school. She chooses not to hide her cocktail from a photo. She says Derick had previously been photographed drinking a beer and JB offered to send him to rehab. Lol. 

In 2019 JB told her she can’t come to the big house anymore if he’s not there. They continued seeing their therapist and Jill found it very helpful. Some siblings still reach out to her for advice. Such as one brother asking for girl advice. He doesn’t want to confide in JB. Trust those instincts, kid. 

Jill slowly learns to talk honestly and open up. 

Grandma D dies. Jill talks to her therapist about how to navigate the situation. He recommends going straight up to JB and show him she cares. She goes to his house and tells him she’s sorry about grandma and gives him a hug. He tells her thank you. After the funeral they get invited back to the house. She says no. She goes to grieve at her own home. She feels like things start to shift here. They get more invites including events that don’t involve cameras. Jill can’t help but wonder if it’s so he can take and post pictures to squash rumors of a rift. 

They learn that the car lot got raided. She reads the statement JB put out. She doesn’t think he’s telling the truth. A sibling tells her hard drives were taken but it might be a setup.  She was relieved she wouldn’t have to do interviews for the show regarding this. 

In 2020 her and Derick do a q&a on Instagram and mostly get good comments. 

Homeland security comes to interview Jill. She’s never visited his car lot. She does not want to walk about her abuse from him. 

Josh gets arrested. Homeland security tells her they are releasing her interview to the defense. 

Show gets canceled again. 

She’s pregnant. She miscarried. She gets pregnant again.

She’s on a list of people to testify. She avoids reading about the trial as ordered by the judge. 

She noticed changes in her siblings in how they don’t immediately believe in their dad anymore. 

She never does get called to testify. She watches the closing arguments. She doesn’t outright say she was worried about his children being victims but it’s implied. She says the safest place for Josh to go is prison. She decides to not go back to court again. 

Josh is found guilty. They put out a statement .

Epilogue 

She gets advice from people who know her and her family. She talks to the father of one of her siblings fiancé who wants the truth about her family. I’m not entirely sure on what…writing this book? I don’t think she outrightly says. 

She gives her parents praise for some of their actions. She says she’s grateful AND realistic about the issues of growing up publicly. 

Her therapist recommends putting off parental mediation for now while they focus on healing. 

Her lawsuit against tontitown is unsuccessful. It gets dismissed. She blames Josh’s court case for this. 

Michelle is there for Freddie’s birth. They invite JB in to see the baby when he comes to pick her up. He hadn’t been to their house before or their previous house either. 

She ends the book by saying this is not a letter to her family. She loves her family and the highs aren’t invalidated by the lows. 

She thanks friends and family. 

she is careful not say anything to put her family in a bad light and I think she’s holding a door open for her siblings to still be able to confide in her. She extends a lot of grace to her parents even when she’s clearly upset with them at times. 
 

 

Thank you for doing this. I am on the list at the library to get this.

When you say that she didn't say anything to put her family in a bad light, do you mean the family besides JB? Just recounting his actions puts him in a bad light. Laying out his words and deeds is a classic "show, don't tell" recommended to beginning writers, and makes him look like a monster (which I think he is.)

[viii]

I bought this book not because I'll re-read or treasure it, but mostly because I wanted to do my small part in supporting Jill. 

She should be so proud of herself for writing this book. It was a lot braver than I was expecting and I hope Jinger reads it and realizes how much further she should have gone with hers. Jill has put the work in and doesn't say she's deconstructing lightly. There's solid evidence of her growth and change. 

I always knew that Jim Bob was awful, but this book highlights his treachery in a whole new way. He is far, FAR worse than I could have ever imagined him. 

My only real negative thought about the book is that I feel like Michelle got pretty light in how she was portrayed. Jill worked really hard in establishing that she had a close relationship with Michelle and that Michelle is always tired of Josh's behaviour and such a loving parent. I just wish she had gone in a little harder on her mom, who is complicit with everything, but perhaps she didn't want to burn every bridge. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, viii said:

I bought this book not because I'll re-read or treasure it, but mostly because I wanted to do my small part in supporting Jill. 

She should be so proud of herself for writing this book. It was a lot braver than I was expecting and I hope Jinger reads it and realizes how much further she should have gone with hers. Jill has put the work in and doesn't say she's deconstructing lightly. There's solid evidence of her growth and change. 

I always knew that Jim Bob was awful, but this book highlights his treachery in a whole new way. He is far, FAR worse than I could have ever imagined him. 

My only real negative thought about the book is that I feel like Michelle got pretty light in how she was portrayed. Jill worked really hard in establishing that she had a close relationship with Michelle and that Michelle is always tired of Josh's behaviour and such a loving parent. I just wish she had gone in a little harder on her mom, who is complicit with everything, but perhaps she didn't want to burn every bridge. 

She might see her mom as stuck in patriarchy. Meaning she might give her mom more of a pass because her mom agreed a long time ago to go along with all of JB’s ideas and schemes. 

[morepreciousthangold]

55 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

How does she reconcile a mother who at the least stood by and watched this all happen? 

I can’t help but think of Brenda and Jessica Willis. Jessica has always publicly stood up for her mother and defended her from criticism. Her book was a little harsher on her but still always very forgiving. Jill said that therapy made her realize that the umbrella of protection was more protective of the men. Maybe both Jessica and Jill’s therapy showed them that their mothers are vulnerable to that abuse as well?

[DalmatianCat]

31 minutes ago, FiveAcres said:

Thank you for doing this. I am on the list at the library to get this.

When you say that she didn't say anything to put her family in a bad light, do you mean the family besides JB? Just recounting his actions puts him in a bad light. Laying out his words and deeds is a classic "show, don't tell" recommended to beginning writers, and makes him look like a monster (which I think he is.)

I had a marathon reading session and finished the whole book today…my general impression was she holds JB accountable and everyone else is just doing his bidding or as trapped as she was. 
She definitely wants to leave the door open for her siblings to come to her. She mentioned one of her siblings FIL asking for her side of the story so he would know how to support his child who was marrying into the Duggar family and that a brother came to her and asked how to pursue a relationship with a girl without Pops taking over.

Edited September 12, 2023 by DalmatianCat
Wrong verb tense