Aunt Lori Alexander 23: Transformed to Evil

[formerpastorswife]

32 minutes ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

I've see multiple references to Ken and his 10 minutes of sex with lube.  Could someone fill me in on the details so I don't have to go back and relive life with Lori.  When I hear 'lube' my mind goes to anal and I just don't see Lori in that position, Bible or no Bible.  My only other mental picture that makes Lori-sense is her wearing latex gloves using lube to give Ken a hand-job.  

Anyone?

The lube is so you can give your hubby sex and meet his need even if/when you aren't "in the mood..." (Because who wants to worry about foreplay when it's just about satisfying his biological pressures? smh...)

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I always thought the lube reference was a hint that she has no idea that most women don't need lube as they lubricate naturally. IOW, she has dryness issues and needs some lube to get the penis to go in without chaffing. Therefore, since Lori needs lube, ALL women need lube. 

[EowynW]

2 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I'm guessing they do missionary and just add lube as needed.  *off to get some brain bleach for even thinking about that*

Is the missionary position just a fundie joke? Does the outside world not love that position? In my fundie sexed they never coveted positions. I taught myself via internet. TMI but while we love variety, missionary serves us very very well if time is short. Is this  position we aren't supposed to love? 

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

7 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Is the missionary position just a fundie joke? Does the outside world not love that position? In my fundie sexed they never coveted positions. I taught myself via internet. TMI but while we love variety, missionary serves us very very well if time is short. Is this  position we aren't supposed to love? 

Absolutely not.  Do whatever feels good, darling.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Lori also doesn't get that by saying all you need is 10 minutes is a dig at Ken because it says he can't last very long. Men with good control can go a very long time. 10 minutes is more in the teenage boy territory. 

[Curious]

2 hours ago, elliha said:

Well... Perhaps not: http://siberiantimes.com/healthandlifestyle/others/news/summer-fun-in-siberia/

huh. Who knew?  It's really pretty, too.  When I think of Siberia, I think cold and tundra like.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

EowynW  The outside world loves missionary and every other position. It's whatever works for you  and your partner.

The "joke" is that fundies are only supposed to do missionary and nothing else.  Anything else is  being sinful and of the flesh, that is  -- for pleasure only. Fundie sex is supposed to be for procreation only.

I think Lori's ten minutes and some lube is part of that mindset.  Lord forbid it be for mutual pleasure. Nope. Nope. Nope. Never. In her world it's her Christian duty to give up 10 minutes of her busy, busy, busy day to satisfy Ken's needs so he won't stray.

Lori has also mentioned it's 5 min and some lube, so I suspect that's really all the time she can spare. A Godly Older Woman Mentor (TM) has so, so many demands on her time.

So Virgin -- Lori recommends coconut oil for lube.  The same oil she recommends we all cook with as it's healthy and natural.

[EowynW]

So this is just a dig at Sheila (to love, honor & vacuum)  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@eowyn1217

HA, you are right. I was wondering who it was.  Has Lori or anyone from her school of thought commented on Shelia's series?

[EowynW]

[SuperNova]

I wonder if it would interest Lori to know that WOMEN stare at breasts and crotch more often than men. A few years ago I read an article about a study that was done to track eye movements of men and women. Each participant would view both men and women while wearing special equipment to track where their eyes went. Women looked at crotch and then boobs in that order first before looking at other parts like face or legs. Men looked at boobs and face first, iirc.

I tried to find a link to the study but no luck. 

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

Put the image in the post.  Click on the image in the post and little corners should appear on the corners of the photo.  Then click the "eye" in the icon row.  It has to be done for each image you want to hide.

Thank you so much. I am going to give it a try. I hope the mods or helpmeets are ready to delete if needed. 

[BlackSheep]

I had a big salad for lunch. Artisan greens, tofu, chickpeas, carrots, the works. And yet strangely, I don't feel like distorting scripture and putting down other women.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@eowyn1217

Wow, good catch! So ultimately she put Catherine's comment back up. She was going back and forth on what to say and it kept disappearing and then back again. Well, HA look at Lori in full form. 

Can someone comment and remind Lori that Ken likes her to wear her skirts to the knees!! What men is she causing to stumble by doing that?

[usmcmom]

So in Instagram, people can now post their "stories" and I stumbled upon these that don't exactly scream modesty. 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

[Beermeet]

14 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

So in Instagram, people can now post their "stories" and I stumbled upon these that don't exactly scream modesty. 

  Hide contents

 

  Hide contents

 

Omg.  Butt cheek even.

Is she not defrauding other men?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@usmcmomWOW that is by far the best find yet! The nerve to be talking about this subjects as she wears very short shorts. How do you find the my stories section? I assume those are basically posted to the public. 

[usmcmom]

1 minute ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

@usmcmomWOW that is by far the best find yet! The nerve to be talking about this subjects as she wears very short shorts. How do you find the my stories section? I assume those are basically posted to the public. 

Yes. The stories are public. If you go their IG account (assuming it's not private) and click on the circle that contains their profile picture, the story will begin playing.  There is not always one available. I am not sure when this started. The photos I found were actually screen shots from a video. It made me giddy and disgusted at the same time. 

[Loveday]

@usmcmom , these photos are priceless. I wonder if Earl or Trey have seen them yet. Or this John who's been posting today. 

[TeddyBonkers]

Is it bad that I immediately thought Aunt Lori was holding a joint in the first picture? After all, it's NATURAL, right?

And she can just fuck right off with her modesty posts and "The Lord commands that women be modest, shamefaced, and have meek and quiet spirits, very unlike most women today." Personally, I wouldn't give two shits what she wears, but it's the rank hypocrisy that really sticks in my craw.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@usmcmom

Aw cool, it doesnt work for me but probably because I don't have an account and am not signed in. Which gave me an idea to make an account where I can duplicate what I am putting on my tumblr. 

[Curious]

5 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

Is it bad that I immediately thought Aunt Lori was holding a joint in the first picture?

I had to look twice because that was my first thought as well!

[AuntKrazy]

17 hours ago, EowynW said:

We did pickles last year. This year it's pickles, salsa, hopefully sauce for spaghetti/pizzas and jelly or jam. I've been fridge canning a bit too with little batches of stuff that aren't worth the effort to heat the kitchen to WB. 

I'm heading the direction of the gateway canning drug! - Our garden for the past two years has been overrun with basil in late fall - which I love.  Last fall, I found a fresh pesto recipe and a huge bag of pinenuts for cheap at Sams, and I made several batches of fresh pesto and froze them in small canning jars.  I even took a jar of it on vacation with us to make a pesto pasta salad that is family favorite.

We now use pesto as a spread on sandwiches all the time now; and I am experimenting with flavored vinegars to mix it with for a pesto vinagrette salad dressing. . . . (I also was given a sourdough starter a few months ago, and have perfected my sourdough pretzel dough - so we are known to have fresh pretzel sandwich rolls lying around.

Oh, wait! I'm an ebil full-time working outside the home wife, so I must have meant that I feed my husband fast food all the time. . . .  

 

[EowynW]

51 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

So in Instagram, people can now post their "stories" and I stumbled upon these that don't exactly scream modesty. 

  Hide contents

 

  Hide contents

Oh my word. This is epic. 

[Escadora]

@BlackSheep Yeah, but the difference is that your salad not only looks delicious, it probably also tastes amazing   

A picture of one of Lori's Big Salads™  exists in one of the threads somewhere a small while back, and - not to knock how people like their food - it really didn't look all that appetising. Ugh and that was just after it was made as well, I shudder to think of how the lettuce must've looked after those four days in the fridge. 

Also, how nice to see Little Miss Modesty practicing what she preaches - sorry - teaches (because women aren't allowed to preach, remember). That is a veeeeeeery modest pose and a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery modest skirt.

Of course, if it were any other woman I wouldn't give it a second glance or thought because, really, alone with family in the hot summer you can excuse and possibly even encourage wearing less than normal in an effort to cool off and no one should be having to be self-conscious or think that they might be being judged. But, y'know, if she's going to be talking about wanting to paddle the bottoms of women who wear 'thong' bikinis at the beach, she really should have more sense than to let her DIL post pictures of her in that particular pose on a public instagram account. We can very nearly almost see some buttcheek right there, and now I know way more about Aunt Lori's body than I ever needed to.

Also, she's got her phone right next to her in the chair. So much for taking that break. 

(apologies for the super BEC post. I'm a little fractious, we're in the middle of yet another mini heatwave over here and I have very little in the way of patience tonight)