Dillards 27 - Allergies, Fever, and the Dangers of Being a White Baby

[anotherone]

On 3/6/2017 at 9:55 AM, wikinggirl said:

I don1t know if this has been discussed, but I found this on instagram, and it looks like Dan, Derrick's brother, only got saved two years ago. I know that Derrick's family wasn't fundie, but this surprised me. 

I still can never make sense of what they say when they do that kind of talk.  What does it actually mean?  "The Lord received Dan's heart", "Dan has grown so much in his walk with Jesus." "My heart turns every time I see Him in God's Word."  Like how specifically has he grown?  Your heart "turns?" How do you see someone in God's Word?  I just can never really get what they are talking about.  I know it's Jesus stuff, but it never makes any sense to me (maybe because I'm an engineer?)

[marmalade]

I remember D-Wreck posting pictures of Dan's formal, full-immersion baptism. 

It sounds like he was raised pretty mainstream Southern Baptist, but possibly "went rogue" for a while, sort of like Jeremy did, before breaking down.  Or in Dan's case, I'm sure family pressure (interacting with the Dullards and sometimes the Duggars) and Cathy's illness helped to bring him back into the fold. 

[Snarkylark]

1 hour ago, anotherone said:

I still can never make sense of what they say when they do that kind of talk.  What does it actually mean?  "The Lord received Dan's heart", "Dan has grown so much in his walk with Jesus." "My heart turns every time I see Him in God's Word."  Like how specifically has he grown?  Your heart "turns?" How do you see someone in God's Word?  I just can never really get what they are talking about.  I know it's Jesus stuff, but it never makes any sense to me (maybe because I'm an engineer?)

Interpretation:

God received Dans heart when he gave it to God, or when he repented and got saved. Growing in his walk with jesus means that he's learning how to have a relationship with Jesus and getting stronger in his faith and knowledge of gods word. She probably means her heart softens or turns more toward jesus when she sees dan reading the Bible or praying, meditating on gods word. 

[Chicken bones]

I would suggest Waco, TX instead of Austin.  Austin is too liberal (in some ways), too large, and too expensive nowadays. Waco though...old Baptist university, very trendy with those house flipper show folks there, and yet kind of "folksy."  And yes, sometimes other Texans deliberately mispronounce it and call it "Wacko"... (former home of the Branch Davidians after all).

[Foudeb]

12 hours ago, missegeno said:

It comes up when there is a need for demographic details. I don't know how diverse Sweden is, but it may have to do with the large mix of races and ethnicities in the US and UK.

14.3% of the Sweden population isn't Sweden-born (as opposed to 13.3% for the US), so not that different.

Why would you need race as demographic details? There are parts of the world where people would be very distrustful of the government holding a list of people of a certain race for obvious historical reasons.

If you mean you want demographic details of the population so you can allocate resources accordingly (put more money in schools in poor neighbourhoods for instance, or monitor social mobility) it makes a lot more sense to collect data on socio-economic background (were your parents employees / managers / self-employed etc) and income.

Or if you're concerned about the impact of having lots of foreigners who may not assimilate in the native population, it makes more sense to ask things like "what is your level of fluency in the national language" rather than "what colour is your skin".

TL;DR I think the point originally made was that Americans a more race-concious in their daily dealings than most Europeans.

[Iamtheway]

13 hours ago, missegeno said:

It comes up when there is a need for demographic details. I don't know how diverse Sweden is, but it may have to do with the large mix of races and ethnicities in the US and UK.

Sweden is more diverse then it used to be. But I agree with Foudeb that there are so many other variables other then race that seems more important to ask for. 

 

11 hours ago, Georgiana said:

Just give him a choice. "Izzy, you need to get clean.  Would you like to get in the shower, or would you like mama to wash you off and rinse you with a bucket?"

If Jill actually knew anything about child development, she'd know toddlers love being given limited options to choose from. 

Also it fools them because toddlers cannot conceive of extensive options.  Giving a toddler option A and option B usually completely pushes option C (neither) out of their minds.  But if you TELL them to do a single thing, NO is still an option for them. 

Having raised several children already you'd think she would have learnt some things. But apparently not. I mean I knew all this and I only have two siblings that I didn't have to take care of at all, because we had parents. Not baby making machines. 

[formergothardite]

16 hours ago, AlternativeVoice said:

plus Jill has always said she wanted to be on the mission field. It's just a whole lot easier when you're not pregnant with a toddler.

I think one of the big problems is that Jill had a false view of the mission field. Her experiences with ATI and other Duggar "mission trips" did not prepare her for the reality of life on the mission field. Jill wants a fake mission field where she is surrounded by the people and things she is used to and she never has to step outside her tiny box. But she is stuff on a semi-real mission field and is miserable. She didn't want this. Derick seems to want it, so she is stuck being miserable. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I think one of the big problems is that Jill had a false view of the mission field. Her experiences with ATI and other Duggar "mission trips" did not prepare her for the reality of life on the mission field. Jill wants a fake mission field where she is surrounded by the people and things she is used to and she never has to step outside her tiny box. But she is stuff on a semi-real mission field and is miserable. She didn't want this. Derick seems to want it, so she is stuck being miserable. 

I think this is largely the problem.

To Jill, being a "missionary" meant going to El Salvador/Honduras with her family and a bunch of security and doing some face painting and giving people presents for a week and then going back home to Arkansas.

Now she is out there in a dangerous country with just Derick and Izzy, the situation in El Salvador is deteriorating (and dare I say it, so are Derick's looks) she is missing all the comforts of home..........and I strongly suspect she's hating it deep down. I doubt it helps that she is pregnant and has pregnancy hormones right now.

But the headship seems to like being in El Salvador, and if the headship wants to do it, well, looks like Jilly Muffin is staying put in El Salvador even though I suspect she's rather be back at the nice big house in Arkansas with her sisters around to help her and being able to go buy diapers without an armed escort. 

I don't think she realised what she was getting herself into when she was courting Derick and told him she had a 'heart for missions'.

[formergothardite]

She had a heart for voluntorism. She is never going to be content in any sort of a mission life. As they add children this is all going to get harder on her and I'm afraid the children will bear the brunt of Jill's unhappiness. 

[SassyPants]

Here's what I think about Jill and her parenting.

Jill is child #4. When she was born, Josh was 3 and the twins were 1.

Jill's first buddy was Joy. Jill was 6 when Joy, child #9, was born. Michelle had already had her laundry room meltdown and the laundry fairy was on board. I doubt Jill knew about this incident in real time.

IMO, Jill thought parenting and having "lots or tons of kids" would be more akin to life in the TTH, not the 3 BR rancher. Jill likely does not remember what Michelle had to do in her early days of mothering. Jill's idea of parenting is mom and dad, hand-in-hand walking ahead as their gaggle following behind with 4 older daughters orchestrating  the child care show; parents who stay behind closed doors engaging in sweet fellowship at their every whim/desire. She certainly expected a dad at home and not abandoning the  mom daily, [or even weekly] to earn a living.

Jill expected a village.

She has no daughters.

She has no laundry fairy.

She has no ILs down the road.

She has no village.

No one told Jill that those first half dozen kids would be on her and that in order to save some and store a financial reserve, someone would need to work for a few years.

Lastly, Jill looks to Jessa who does have the village.

I am sure Jill is disappointed.

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

All I can say is these two make me really, really angry. Angrier than the others, possibly, because in addition to being under-educated, hateful cult members, they not only want to impose their cult-ish worldview to people at home, but have the presumption and arrogance to go to another country and push it on those folks, without any cultural awareness or sensitivity whatsoever. 

I can only speculate, but I also highly doubt they have their immigration paperwork in order to be "working", or whatever they are doing, in El Salvador. 

[ShipFullOfHeads]

@SassyPants
Amazing summary. "Child care show"... I don't think I've seen a better term to describe what we see in this family.

What's funny, Jill is currently much closer to what "normal" moms have to deal with, but please don't tell her...

[Million Children For Jesus]

14 minutes ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:

All I can say is these two make me really, really angry. Angrier than the others, possibly, because in addition to being under-educated, hateful cult members, they not only want to impose their cult-ish worldview to people at home, but have the presumption and arrogance to go to another country and push it on those folks, without any cultural awareness or sensitivity whatsoever. 

I can only speculate, but I also highly doubt they have their immigration paperwork in order to be "working", or whatever they are doing, in El Salvador. 

Agreed! I've never had feelings of annoyance or anger at these people until now. I always gawk watched with the same level of emotional investment as a NatGeo episode. They were like animals we observed in their natural habitat. Now they're an invasive species. 

[AlternativeVoice]

31 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Here's what I think about Jill and her parenting.

Jill is child #4. When she was born, Josh was 3 and the twins were 1.

Jill's first buddy was Joy. Jill was 6 when Joy, child #9, was born. Michelle had already had her laundry room meltdown and the laundry fairy was on board. I doubt Jill knew about this incident in real time.

IMO, Jill thought parenting and having "lots or tons of kids" would be more akin to life in the TTH, not the 3 BR rancher. Jill likely does not remember what Michelle had to do in her early days of mothering. Jill's idea of parenting is mom and dad, hand-in-hand walking ahead as their gaggle following behind with 4 older daughters orchestrating  the child care show; parents who stay behind closed doors engaging in sweet fellowship at their every whim/desire. She certainly expected a dad at home and not abandoning the  mom daily, [or even weekly] to earn a living.

Jill expected a village.

She has no daughters.

She has no laundry fairy.

She has no ILs down the road.

She has no village.

No one told Jill that those first half dozen kids would be on her and that in order to save some and store a financial reserve, someone would need to work for a few years.

Lastly, Jill looks to Jessa who does have the village.

I am sure Jill is disappointed.

She cried over a shower rack. Homegirl is more than disappointed. 

[Million Children For Jesus]

39 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Lastly, Jill looks to Jessa who does have the village.

Jessa has a village and is married to the village idiot. I don't think Jill wants that kind of village. 

[Georgiana]

5 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

Sweden is more diverse then it used to be. But I agree with Foudeb that there are so many other variables other then race that seems more important to ask for. 

 

Having raised several children already you'd think she would have learnt some things. But apparently not. I mean I knew all this and I only have two siblings that I didn't have to take care of at all, because we had parents. Not baby making machines. 

The thing is, Jill didn't really "raise" children the way we normally think of it.  She did not make any major decisions regarding their home life.  She did not select curriculum or make decisions on their schooling.  She needed no understanding of kids nor critical thinking regarding what was most appropriate or enriching for them.  This wasn't in her job description, but this is a major part of truly raising children.

JB and M still made all those decisions.  Jill did nothing more than carry out their directives and ensure that the basic needs of the children were met. I know nannies that do far more enriching than the Duggar girls were ever responsible for. 

We call them "sister moms" more to indicate the full time burden placed on them by the family.  But truly they were just full time babysitters. 

And babysitting, while lovely, is not full preparation for parenthood in any sense.  Especially if you just keep the kids alive as opposed to attempting to understand their intellectual development. I think this may be why Jessa seems better suited to motherhood, as she did at least oversee the schooling (and discipline) at the TTH, which probably afforded her some idea of childhood understand and limitations.

[fluffernutter]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

She had a heart for voluntorism. She is never going to be content in any sort of a mission life. As they add children this is all going to get harder on her and I'm afraid the children will bear the brunt of Jill's unhappiness. 

I said that awhile back- Jill would be most happy at home, volunteering her limited since-she's-going-to-have-a-gaggle-of-kids time doing something local. A food bank or mom's group or whatever. I think there are two things going on here- one is trying to let her man lead, because that's what she has been programmed to do, so she's letting him wear the pants and decide what's best while stuffing down and quieting that inner voice telling her NOOOO GIRL, RUN!!!-and also- (speculating here)- maybe she kinda likes the attention they get from going someplace so far away! and dangerous! I think there is a lot of competition between her and Jessa and so this is Jill's "thing" that sets her out and makes her special. Even if she hates it deep down.

[Jilli]

Jill needs to develop critical thinking skills and fast. Izzy and Baby #2 need her too. 

 

[Palimpsest]

21 hours ago, flycat said:

Digging around on the IRS website, both Dillard Family Ministries and SOS Ministries are registered. I can see detail 990 information for SOS https://www.guidestar.org/profile/59-3644816 but only summary information for Dillard.  https://www.guidestar.org/profile/47-4302759

Well done!  Thank you.  I had found the Dillards.

SOS wasn't coming up for me on Guidestar because I was entering SOS not S O S.

Quick look:

So SOS last filed a 990 in 2014.  2015 is missing (naughty).  It is too early for 2016.

In 2014 Mike Schadt claimed to be working 60 hours a week and paid himself 60K.  One other employee.  Not a Dillard.

When did the Dillards officially announce their 501(c)3 and their affiliation with SOS - I can't remember.  Anyone? TIA.

Returns to browsing the 990.  I still want to see the Annual Report.

 

[ShipFullOfHeads]

22 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Well done!  Thank you.  I had found the Dillards.

SOS wasn't coming up for me on Guidestar because I was entering SOS not S O S.

Quick look:

So SOS last filed a 990 in 2014.  2015 is missing (naughty).  It is too early for 2016.

In 2014 Mike Schadt claimed to be working 60 hours a week and paid himself 60K.  One other employee.  Not a Dillard.

When did the Dillards officially announce their 501(c)3 and their affiliation with SOS - I can't remember.  Anyone? TIA.

Returns to browsing the 990.  I still want to see the Annual Report.

 

Could you explain to a tax illiterate from foreign country what this means?

[Million Children For Jesus]

Earlier someone nailed it when they said (I'm paraphrasing) Jill thinks she's a martyr for Christ and all of her "woe is me, the hard life of a missionary" musings are because she's showing off what she's "willing to do for Christ." We're supposed to be impressed. It's the only way she knows how to get attention and approval. (And one up Jessa)

I agree with all posts that Jill romanticized mission-cation as an extended VolunTourism Camp like she experienced with her family, and she's probably in over her head.

She seems to gloss over the fact that by the time her parents took them on those trips, they had worked for decades to become financially solvent, had community outreach experience on a local level, years of business experience, and even though he makes my skin crawl, Jim Boob did have leadership experience, as well. She wants in the first years of marriage, without having done any due diligence, without paying her dues, without earning any credibility, what people work their entire adult lives to achieve. The Dullards are incredibly entitled. Spoiled, lazy, and entitled grifters.

I wonder if they even bothered to write a business plan for Dillard Ministries. If so, it was terrible because even a basic plan would have had business elements that they haven't demonstrated. They're probably self-righteous enough to start a nonprofit without even writing a business plan. I wouldn't put it passed them. Why do people send money to these fools? 

[Palimpsest]

1 minute ago, ShipFullOfHeads said:

Could you explain to a tax illiterate from foreign country what this means?

Sorry.  I can see how that looked like alphabet soup!

We are referring to Section 501(c) of the United States Internal Revenue Code.  This exempts non-profit (charitable) organisations from paying Federal income tax.  There are other exemptions but 501(c)3 is the most common.   You have to apply for it and meet certain requirements to be eligible. 

I'm a bit rusty on compliance, but the non-profits do still have to file a Form 990 every year with the Federal government to keep their tax exempt status.  It's quite detailed and it takes practice to understand and complete them.  The Form 990 is public record.

Failure to file a Form 990 annually results in hefty fines and can mean the tax exemption is removed.  Failure to file for 3 years in a row means automatic removal as a tax exempt organisation, I think.  There is another form for tiny non-profits that take in very little money.  I forget what it is.

501(c)3s are also required to produce an Annual Report and supply it to donors on request.

Guidestar is a watchdog list for charities.  It ranks them and it has the 990s on line.  I check Guidestar before donating anywhere.

Does that help?

[ShipFullOfHeads]

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

Does that help?

Yes, very much! Thank you!

This looks like they're not only doing the missionary thing wrong, or better questionable but seemingly the paperwork, too. With all the ressources they have... wait, isn't Mr Dullard an accountant? If he hasn't the knowledge in this very particular matter, he probably knows someone who does. Does he even have to do that?

It's really not easy to understand how financing for non-profits works.

[Million Children For Jesus]

9 minutes ago, ShipFullOfHeads said:

Yes, very much! Thank you!

This looks like they're not only doing the missionary thing wrong, or better questionable but seemingly the paperwork, too. With all the ressources they have... wait, isn't Mr Dullard an accountant? If he hasn't the knowledge in this very particular matter, he probably knows someone who does. Does he even have to do that?

It's really not easy to understand how financing for non-profits works.

Nonprofit accounting is a special field in accounting. He doesn't have any experience that I know of. Only traditional corporate accounting at WalMart. Not sure how long he was there. He has very little accounting experience of any kind.

As far as I know, he doesn't specifically have any nonprofit work experience, or any management experience. It's a complete joke that he started his own nonprofit. 

Edit to Add: Thats how little he thinks of TLC viewers. He wasn't willing to do any of the things to adequately prepare himself to run a nonprofit, but has the audacity to ask for money anyway.

[breakfree]

8 hours ago, Foudeb said:

 

TL;DR I think the point originally made was that Americans a more race-concious in their daily dealings than most Europeans.

Oh I dunno how true this is, depending on what races you're talking about, though a credible argument might be made that here in Europe this consciousness is more  religious (dare I say anti muslim) with an unfortunate side effect of making people more race-conscious toward those with brown skin.

I'm American but have spent the VAST majority of the time since I turned 21 living in Europe- primarily in France, now in Holland, super briefly in Germany (I'm 31 now so it's been close to 11 years). I honestly think that people who are or who sometimes just have the misfortune of looking muslim are often treated and spoken about in more outrageous ways here than they ever would be in 'polite company' in many if not most places in  the USA (though admittedly I think behind closed doors many people in the USA can be just as nasty). I feel like I see unfortunate situations play out daily here showing just how conscious people are of this. It's true there's no racial census here but people are certainly aware of race.

Of course, in Sweden for all I know it may be a lot different. But this is my own experience in Western Europe.