Dillards 27 - Allergies, Fever, and the Dangers of Being a White Baby

[DaniLouisiana]

Kids with anxious moms tend to be more anxious and need more attention. So Izzy may be feeding off Jillymuffin's anxiety and being more of a "handful".

[nst]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

 

I think the howlers are different because they weren't hers.  Izzy and the new kid are hers.  But I do think you take Jill out of her element the TTH and put in a space like SCA - she is going to react badly.  Just watching her last year on Counting on in SCA and then when she was back was like night and day.  As for Izzy- someone said up thread that Jill is the 70's mom while Derick is the 50's dad. I have to agree. I think Jill can't handle things on a daily basis without the support system of the TTH and deluded herself into believing  this is what she wants 

I again think she should limit her children 

[2manyKidzzz]

Forcing Izzy to take a cold shower is horrible if that is what happened. As was mentioned, they could have heated water on the stove. And given him a warm bath. 

This is really upsetting. Yuck.

[apandaaries]

33 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Jill must have seen some spirited kids in her family. The howlers weren't laid back.

But the responsibility for them was split between her and her sisters (while her parents made more siblings for them to raise).  She still had a bit of a village for raising her siblings.

Jill seems to need a lot of social support, and she doesn't seem to be getting that during her Sintral American missioncations.   She's socially isolated there, and Jilly-muffin isn't accustomed to that.  Jessa and Anna have benefited from having the whole family circus nearby to help with child care and general support, but Jill headed abroad quickly postpartum.  She's not the kind who is okay with a lot of social support and networks.  She certainly isn't experienced enough to minister and mentor to those in Sintral America; her realm is too limited.  She's alone and out of her depth.  

I hope at some point she decides to stop just listening to Derick and decides to try to think for herself.  

[Dandruff]

14 minutes ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

Forcing Izzy to take a cold shower is horrible if that is what happened. As was mentioned, they could have heated water on the stove. And given him a warm bath. 

This is really upsetting. Yuck.

The family, including the baby, is willing to make such sacrifices to save souls from the eternal fires of hell.  Why don't people send more money?

[eveandadam]

One of my sisters in law is going to a third world country to help other people and will be teaching English and Maths at a primary school there, in a few weeks. I am so glad she wants to help people, see the world and that she is going there with a non-church/non-religious organization. The RCC and evangelical churches here do a lot of trips to help people but it always comes with a price to the people in need. "We will help you if you take the Bible and pray with us" is really using someones miserary to your advantage. So, if I get a job within the next few weeks my first donation will go to her. Take this Dillards!

[VineHeart137]

10 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

Jill must have seen some spirited kids in her family. The howlers weren't laid back.

I kind of get the feeling that Jessa and Jana were more the disciplinarians than Jill. If she was having trouble with a howler she could call in one of them for reinforcements. She doesn't have that option with Israel. It's all her, all the time, especially down in CA.

 I wonder if she sees Jessa sitting pretty close to home with her laid-back kid, and wonders why her life isn't like that?

[MayMay1123]

14 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

I kind of get the feeling that Jessa and Jana were more the disciplinarians than Jill. If she was having trouble with a howler she could call in one of them for reinforcements. She doesn't have that option with Israel. It's all her, all the time, especially down in CA.

 I wonder if she sees Jessa sitting pretty close to home with her laid-back kid, and wonders why her life isn't like that?

i wonder if jill and d'reck have decided not to physically discipline beat their children and now she has no idea how to actually discipline iz without plumbing line

[socalrules]

I think Jill is fine when someone else is making all the rules/directions and she just has to follow them. If something goes wrong, a supervisor(mommy and daddy) is there to put the project (raising siblings) back on track. Growing up she was never allowed independence, to have an independent thought or to make decisions. I think she is flailing at marriage/motherhood because there are times she has to figure out what to do or how to respond to a situation. She wasn't raised with the skills to assess a situation and come up with a plan of action. 

I am sure Derrick was expecting there were things she would be able to do or figure out on her own. He didn't realize he married a robot that needs to be programmed. If she truly didn't want to go back to CA she could have put her foot down and they would still be sitting in Arkansas right now. I just don't think she realizes she could have done so. She is a follower who needs, and likely wants, to be led. 

[SassyPants]

11 hours ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

Forcing Izzy to take a cold shower is horrible if that is what happened. As was mentioned, they could have heated water on the stove. And given him a warm bath. 

This is really upsetting. Yuck.

My daughter lives in So America just south of the equator, and although they have a converter to heat their water, it has to be turned on and off, so sometimes if you forget to turn it on, the water is not hot- but since they live in the tropics, the water is always warm. I'd assume that it's the same in CA- the water is probably not cold, but rather warm. I've taken many a warm shower. My daughter did heat the water on the stove for her daughter when she was using the baby bath tub. Also, many homes in this part of the world do not have bath tubs. My daughter finally just had one put into her home. I think a little one having to take a shower is far more cruel than having only warm water in the tropics.

[wikinggirl]

I don1t know if this has been discussed, but I found this on instagram, and it looks like Dan, Derrick's brother, only got saved two years ago. I know that Derrick's family wasn't fundie, but this surprised me. 

[Fundie Bunny]

10 minutes ago, wikinggirl said:

I don1t know if this has been discussed, but I found this on instagram, and it looks like Dan, Derrick's brother, only got saved two years ago. I know that Derrick's family wasn't fundie, but this surprised me. 

Maybe he saw how Derick got a free maid and Cook and a TV show by praying and maybe he thought, well, let'si give it a try

[PennySycamore]

@wikinggirl, all I have to say about that Instagram from Deena is "Barf!".  

[VeganCupcake]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

My daughter lives in So America just south of the equator, and although they have a converter to heat their water, it has to be turned on and off, so sometimes if you forget to turn it on, the water is not hot- but since they live in the tropics, the water is always warm. I'd assume that it's the same in CA- the water is probably not cold, but rather warm. I've taken many a warm shower. My daughter did heat the water on the stove for her daughter when she was using the baby bath tub. Also, many homes in this part of the world do not have bath tubs. My daughter finally just had one put into her home. I think a little one having to take a shower is far more cruel than having only warm water in the tropics.

They described it as cold & mentioned having to "help" (force?) him to get in. So that's what sparked all the comments. Also they posted themselves shopping at Walmart in CA; I'm sure they could have found a suitable container of some sort to fill with water. I just thought the shower story sounded harsh I mean he's only 2 right? 

[2manyKidzzz]

The shower story just made me sad and uncomfortable. If you can heat water on the stove, you can do a sponge bath until better things are available. Creeped me out.

[socalrules]

1 hour ago, wikinggirl said:

I don1t know if this has been discussed, but I found this on instagram, and it looks like Dan, Derrick's brother, only got saved two years ago. I know that Derrick's family wasn't fundie, but this surprised me. 

Being saved isn't a fundy thing. It's quite common in regular Christian churches. I have many relatives that will tell you they have been saved, or are born again, and they live their lives as most of us on FJ. There is nothing fundy about them. It just means their sins have been forgiven, they have a relationship with Christ, they will spend eternity with Christ, etc. I think of it as a point when someone tries to truly start living more as is expected by God. I don't think Dan is fundy, I think he has just decided to more embrace his religion. There isn't anything wrong with that nor does it mean he is fundy because he was saved. I don't see it as negative in any way.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

@wikinggirl, all I have to say about that Instagram from Deena is "Barf!".  

At least she doesn't horribly abuse exclamation points - I'm looking at you Kelly Bates and Michael Keilen!

[nickelodeon]

@socalrules, that's not what @wikinggirl was talking about though - she's surprised that Derrick's bro was formally saved so recently, only two years ago, since we'd assume he was raised religious.

[socalrules]

3 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

@socalrules, that's not what @wikinggirl was talking about though - she's surprised that Derrick's bro was formally saved so recently, only two years ago, since we'd assume he was raised religious.

I totally missed that. Sorry. Maybe he never felt he needed to do anything more than go to church and now he feels he needs to take this extra step. I wonder if it had to do with his mom's health issue. Maybe he promised God he would get saved and live more of a Christian life if his mom was spared. 

[imokit]

For those saying Jill is coming back to have the baby, maybe I'm warped from my current NICU job but babies don't come on demand. If she's due in July, she's past or at the 24 week mark and the baby is potentially viable with NICU care. I've seen too many people be surprised by early babies to be confident in another country with less than stellar medical care past 24 weeks.

Premature babies happen and most can't be predicted.

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

In one of the "Starvin Marvin" episodes of South Park, the white missionary is with all of the African children in a little church and she turns to them and says, "Now remember children, reading bible + accepting Jesus= FOOD!"  I always think of that when I think of the Dillards and what they must do in Central America all day...

[MargaretElliott]

Agreed about the shower thing- making him take a cold one wasn't really necessary. I spend a lot more time at campsites than most people, especially in the colder months, and their facilities aren't always... up to date. A kettle of hot water, boiled on a fire or propane stove, and a large bowl is all I need (plus a washcloth and soap, of course) to get clean. They have an indoor stove and everything. More resources than I had. And they're forcing the child into a freezing shower? Perhaps they think it's good for him. Perhaps they're overreacting about the water heater. Perhaps they don't realize you don't need 100% submersion to get clean. Perhaps they lack resourcefulness. My vote is all of the above.

[Dubiousclaire]

21 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Not a Christian, but from my understanding as a Jew who has been proselytized at is pretty much the ice cream/cyanide thing. Jill and Derick have been told all their lives that they will burn in hell forever if they don't ascribe to a very specific form of Protestantism. They were saved from hell by accepting Christ in a very specific way. If you were told all your life that you needed to follow a specific ritual so you wouldn't suddenly burst into flames and burn to death, you would be horrified to see people not following this ritual. They're going to burn to death! They need to do the not-burn-to-death ritual so they won't burn to death! If they're following another ritual, you have no idea if that ritual will make you not burst into flames; they may think that their ritual isn't hurting them, but what if they burst into flames? And what if you tell other people about your ritual that will not protect you from burning to death? They might burn to death too!

When my friend in elementary school told me completely stone-faced that I would burn in hell forever because I'm a Jew, she honestly meant it out of concern. She believed she was telling me about a danger I faced and that doing things her way would protect me from it. That perspective made me less angry at her, but not completely not-angry.

Jill and Derick honestly believe that they are bringing people to salvation and they are doing them a favor. It's a super problematic perspective to have, but from my understanding, they don't think they're doing anything wrong, because they're saving people's souls from damnation.

When I was in junior high,  a friend tried to give me one of her "Christian youth" magazines because there was an article in it about saving your friends from the devil or something.  I quit going to church when I was 12 because I couldn't stand the hypocrisy,  and well. ..Darwin.

[2manyKidzzz]

So, I remain unhappy with the cold shower scenario. And, just how "scary" is CA where hey are? Is the house really protected by people? Is JillyPoo home alone with roaming cougars in a house with little Izzy while she stuffs him in a cold shower? Does anyone here know, I certainly missed details it would seem .

If a cougar carried Derick off I would feel that he kind of put himself in that position, but Izzy? And now the unborn child. Really, I just don't want sad news. Boo. 

[BobTheWalrus]

@formergothardite I couldn't figure out how to quote across topics, but anyway....yes, everyone's replies have been helpful and gracious, thank you everyone! I must confess I do find I odd that some people think missionaries shouldn't be trying to convert people. But I am in complete agreement that missionaries should be culturally sensitive, and that their words and deeds should match up, which seem to be the major objections that people have to Duggar/ Dillard-style evangelism.