Seewalds 13 - Baby Still Baking

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, Fundie Bunny said:

I don't quite get baby showers, but the problem most of you seem to have with second baby showers is because is a gift grab, but thi shower was giftless. What's wrong with having a party to celebrate yout new baby?

A shower is a party based around gifts. You shower the new mom with gifts. If you aren't having any gifts involved, it's technically not a shower. It's just a party to celebrate the new pregnancy. 

Personally I think subsequent showers are often very unnecessary. But I also think lots and lots of baby stuff is pointless or rarely used. I'm just glad I didn't know what I was having. When people know they are having a girl and have a shower, they end up with an insane amount of clothing. I never buy baby girl clothing anymore since it's just a waste. I would rather buy something that will be used ore than once.

[Mela99]

It did say "drop off stuff for donation" but I'd bet anything there was a gift card box out of sight for the parents.

[Carm_88]

2 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

It did say "drop off stuff for donation" but I'd bet anything there was a gift card box out of sight for the parents.

Love offerings for diapers...

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

There is no way in hell there are 130 people there, looks like maybe 40 tops.  I noticed Joy's future MIL in one of the pics. 

[sta_sha]

Many of my friends have either just had or are due with their second children. Each had a "regular" baby shower for their first. For their second, we've just had a pot luck lunch or brunch just for our small group of friends. There are gifts, but they're very small- usually just a new outfit- even if the second baby is the same gender as the first. It's a way to let mum know that we're all excited for her. And it's nice for baby to have a few new things.

[SassyPants]

6 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Jessa just has sooo many friends that love her and want to throw her a shower, TLC I mean she HAD to say yes. Ugh.

Maybe a couple of those friends could step up when the new baby is born and give the J'Slaves a break.

[carebaer]

I think the concept of showers is shifting.  Traditionally a bridal shower was given because the bride was leaving her parents house so she needed stuff to set up her new home.  Now typically either the couple already has a home together or they both live independently so must figure out how to merge all the stuff from two homes into one.  We are still used to throwing a shower so it's become more about celebrating the bride (or the couple together and I think this shift in focus to celebrating rather than gifting is part of why couple showers are more popular). 

The same concept is shifting to baby showers.  A first shower is still often about making sure the new mom has all the baby stuff, but the shift is still more to celebrating mom and baby rather than the practical of making sure she has stuff to last through all her children.  So it's more common to have a shower for every baby (even a 3rd or 4th or whatever).  The problem right now is that we're used to showers being gift-giving occasions.  So as the thought shifts we're having to figure out how to balance the traditional concept of giving the new mom everything to set up for baby and the newer concept of just celebrating baby.  I think as time goes on showers/parties for every baby will be common but we'll figure out a new norm that doesn't make them seem greedy or tacky.

Personally, I'm a traditionalist and tend to see 2nd showers as tacky, but I've observed this shift in thought/focus on showers and I do see celebrating a baby as a good thing.

[JermajestyDuggar]

So it looks like Jessa's BFF (Jinger) couldn't make it to the shower. I wonder how weird it is for them to be so far apart and not sharing all these milestones. I wonder if she will try to make it to the birth.

Its obvious they are shooting the baby shower because all the unwrapped gifts have tape over their brand names (example: Graco).

And I am vaguely remembering Michelle having a shower for one of the last three. Jenny or Jordyn maybe? I could be wrong. It wasn't Josie since she came so early.

130 sounds like a lot until you realize half are probably under the age if 18. 

The food looks ok. I really like the idea of using a brown sheet of roll paper as a table cloth under the food and writing what it is next to it. That seems like a cheap and easy way to label the foods. 

I can't believe Spurgeon is still a baby and will soon be a big brother. 

[busdrivingmom]

My cousin had her only shower when she was expecting her 5th (she eventually had 7 kids).  The reasons were she never had a shower and almost all her baby gear was damaged or expired, like car seats.    My MIL organized it as a surprise for her.  We got her a lot of things she needed and used for kids 5-7.  

[nst]

53 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

So it looks like Jessa's BFF (Jinger) couldn't make it to the shower. I wonder how weird it is for them to be so far apart and not sharing all these milestones. I wonder if she will try to make it to the birth.

Its obvious they are shooting the baby shower because all the unwrapped gifts have tape over their brand names (example: Graco).

And I am vaguely remembering Michelle having a shower for one of the last three. Jenny or Jordyn maybe? I could be wrong. It wasn't Josie since she came so early.

130 sounds like a lot until you realize half are probably under the age if 18. 

The food looks ok. I really like the idea of using a brown sheet of roll paper as a table cloth under the food and writing what it is next to it. That seems like a cheap and easy way to label the foods. 

I can't believe Spurgeon is still a baby and will soon be a big brother. 

where are all these 130 people in the photos- at most it looks like maybe 30 or 40 

I hope Spud will handle the new addition well 

I hope Jessa doesn't forget about Spud because she was so enamored with him 

[nastyhobbitses]

10 hours ago, nst said:

according to us magazine.com all gifts went to loving choices pregnancy centre 

never heard of it 

and she had it at TTH - big surprise 

and a 130 people showed up 

That sounds like a "carry your baby to term or you'll burn in hell you hussy, oh btw that'll be $100 for the completely useless ultrasound administered by an overly earnest 20-year-old in a lab coat we stole from a community theatre production of Frankenstein" crisis pregnancy center.

And as for second baby showers, I think that they're acceptable if they're for a baby 5+ years younger than the sibling, a baby of a different sex (though I'm against overly gendered clothing for babies because I just find it frivolous and not cost-effective, not to mention forcing kids into gender roles), or if it's been an especially difficult pregnancy and it's a celebration that this baby's "sticking". That being said, I don't see a problem with a smaller get-together where the mom's friends and family come to eat some stuff, maybe exchange a few smaller gifts, and have a fun party to welcome a new baby. But a whole second blowout event is just excessive, especially if the age gap is small enough that you'd still have plenty of hand-me-downs and carseats/cribs wouldn't be out-of-date or too worn out.

[Audrey2]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Snip

Personally I think subsequent showers are often very unnecessary. But I also think lots and lots of baby stuff is pointless or rarely used. I'm just glad I didn't know what I was having. When people know they are having a girl and have a shower, they end up with an insane amount of clothing. I never buy baby girl clothing anymore since it's just a waste. I would rather buy something that will be used ore than once.

I always buy a pack of onesies, as well as diapers and wipe. I figure those are always needed.

[candygirl200413]

I went to the Loving Choices website, it's obviously a "we will convince you to not abort if that is your choice". Like saying how you won't need one because 50% of pregnancies according to them end in a miscarriage anyway, and they also do ultrasounds to "help you" if you're considering an abortion as well.  My eyes just roll so hard.

 

http://www.lovingchoices.org/index.html

[Nicole Jinger Duggar]

All the repetitive naming weirds me out. No individuality. Personally, my sister's name has a nickname that's contained in my middle name and that's close enough for me! (Think something like, she's Elizabeth (Elle) and I'm Kate Gabrielle...Not real names ofc).

 

As far as the shower, I don't care if people have multiples. I never felt I had to go or bring gifts but then, maybe we were being rude (I was a teen going with my mom and sister). The point seemed to be to hang out and play games and eat cake, not bring loads of gifts. One lady was on her third daughter, the second being like 14 months older. Another was on her fifth kid with maybe 3/4 years between. Idk.

[ClaraOswin]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

A shower is a party based around gifts. You shower the new mom with gifts. If you aren't having any gifts involved, it's technically not a shower. It's just a party to celebrate the new pregnancy. 

Personally I think subsequent showers are often very unnecessary. But I also think lots and lots of baby stuff is pointless or rarely used. I'm just glad I didn't know what I was having. When people know they are having a girl and have a shower, they end up with an insane amount of clothing. I never buy baby girl clothing anymore since it's just a waste. I would rather buy something that will be used ore than once.

Wait...outfits aren't used more than once? My kid wore his things quite a lot. Probably in part because he puked so much that he wore multiple outfits a day.

[Bad Wolf]

@clara oswin. Wolf 2 was the spit up king. We both needed changes several times a day. My favorite was when the pediatrician lifted him up without a diaper and he peed down the front of his shirt. I thought as a pediatrician, he should have known better.

[MarblesMom]

I am not a fan of any sort of shower.  Invite me, and you will get a lovely gift sent.... but sitting around playing mind-numbing games and making small talk... um, no, pretty sure picking weeds will be better time spent.

 

[ClaraOswin]

26 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

@clara oswin. Wolf 2 was the spit up king. We both needed changes several times a day. My favorite was when the pediatrician lifted him up without a diaper and he peed down the front of his shirt. I thought as a pediatrician, he should have known better.

I hated that I basically had to warn people that if they hold him, they could get many ounces of formula all of their clothes. Some people thought I meant "a little spit up." Um...no. Like you said, we both needed many outfit changes.

We also placed extra rugs (well, they were basically like carpet remnants) down over our carpet in the areas he would play (this was before he could crawl) because blankets just weren't enough to protect our carpet from the grossness. I don't miss those days.

20 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

I am not a fan of any sort of shower.  Invite me, and you will get a lovely gift sent.... but sitting around playing mind-numbing games and making small talk... um, no, pretty sure picking weeds will be better time spent.

 

Games are the worst. I said no game at my bridal shower. No one consulted me before my baby shower. My aunt tried to do one weird game and it made no sense so we at least got a pretty good laugh out of the whole thing. My showers were both very small...just a handful of family because I don't really have friends...ha! So no real small talk since we all know each other well.

I went to a baby shower once where there were various types of candy bars melted into diapers and you had to guess which kind of candy it was. So gross.

[MarblesMom]

5 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

Like you said, we both needed many outfit changes.

Kept Grand D for a weekend once and she, Mr MM and I were both out of outfits after a few hours.  Puke-monster, she was. 

Good times

[SHERA]

10 hours ago, metheglyn said:

With, of course, the requisite dual-pregancy pic with both Jessa and Jill. 

Jill is only a month ahead of my due date and her belly is WAY bigger than mine.

[19Kittens]

Holy moly. I'm due in April with my 2nd and Jill and I are the same size. 

[nastyhobbitses]

Either Jill's having another enormous baby like Izzy (JILL PLEASE GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GIVE BIRTH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY YOU ARE NOT LESS OF A GODLY HIPPIE FOR JESUS IF YOU DO THAT), or she's having the omgtwinzzzz!!!!1111!!! they keep teasing (SERIOUSLY JILL GO TO THE FREAKING HOSPITAL).

[feministxtian]

I detest showers of any kind. I hate the games and baloney. I prefer to send a gift...usually a pack of diapers, wipes and something else useful like onesies or washcloths or something like that. 

I also detest having one thrown for me. My one and only was for my first kid. The rest were outfitted from leftovers, second hand stores and hand me downs. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

Wait...outfits aren't used more than once? My kid wore his things quite a lot. Probably in part because he puked so much that he wore multiple outfits a day.

When you get an absolute boat load of clothing and babies grow crazy fast, outfits get worn once or not even once. I've known multiple people who had girls and had this issue. People seem to go overboard with clothing for baby girls.

[VineHeart137]

26 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When you get an absolute boat load of clothing and babies grow crazy fast, outfits get worn once or not even once. I've known multiple people who had girls and had this issue. People seem to go overboard with clothing for baby girls.

I can vouch for this. My daughter has tons of clothing from when she was a newborn that she either wore once or didn't wear at all. We got so many clothes and she grew so fast it would have been impossible to wear them all unless we changed her clothes multiple times a day for no reason. (Luckily she didn't spit up too much.) Not to say I didn't appreciate the clothes, we literally did not have to buy her any clothes until she was at least 6 months, and everything we got is carefully stored away for any future babies.