Jana Duggar: Courting or hype?

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

@VelociRapture, I'm going to add to my five year list that one day you and I BOTH are able to carry a baby to full term. I like that a lot!

[DuggarWatch]

Well, I guess we can quit speculating whether or not Jana has found a courtship. 

[Fundie Bunny]

16 minutes ago, DuggarWatch said:

Well, I guess we can quit speculating whether or not Jana has found a courtship. 

What do you mean? Has anything been said?

This shit is saving me from this week

[AnnaRuk09]

4 minutes ago, Fundie Bunny said:

What do you mean? Has anything been said?

This shit is saving me from this week

She said in a recent video that she is still waiting on God and that she hasn't found the one yet. 

[DuggarWatch]

10 minutes ago, Fundie Bunny said:

What do you mean? Has anything been said?

This shit is saving me from this week

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/jill-jessa-counting-on/jana-in-five-years/

[lascuba]

1 hour ago, Fundie Bunny said:

That picture of Joy. .. What the fuck? Why no one is talking about it?

That doesn't look like Joy at all to me. 

I can't help it, I'm just amused at the way TLC and the Duggars  are trying so hard revamp themselves while still hiding and lying about all sorts of things. I'm basing this on the clips since I haven't seen the episode yet, but assuming that I'm not missing much, it's hilarious watching them try to convince people that Jana is more than just a glorified babysitter and housekeeper. Oh, she does so much more than cook and babysit in service to her family! She goes to her sister's house and teaches the guys--Jana! A girl! Teaching boys!--how to insert a light fixture. What's really funny about it is that she probably does do things outside of Duggar maid duties...things like political and religious outreach that they can't depict on the show because it runs contrary to the "we're not assholes!" message. Or maybe she puts her piano skills to use and plays for event all over the region...events for people and causes so controversial that the family doesn't dare breathe a hint of it to the media. Hell, maybe she's already engaged and any minute now she'll shock us all with a surprise wedding like she's Beyonce dropping a new album. 

In all seriousness, I think that Jana *has to* have stuff going on she just really doesn't want to share with viewers, either because of privacy or more sinister reasons. Just being realistic here...if the family weren't celebrities with money, then the CinderJana thing would be a reasonable assumption, but the Duggars don't need that kind of free labor from one of their own when they can get fundie leghumpers to do it for them (Tabitha Paine, anyone?). She's heavily constrained because of her religious beliefs, her family, and the media attention, but within those constraints I'm sure she has her own thing going on. Whether it's fully satisfying for her is another issue...could be she's miserable, could be she reasonably content, could be she lacks any and all ambition and intellect is genuinely happy with whatever God and Daddy want for her. 

[infooverload]

I had a chance to watch the Jana clip and had a few thoughts. I found myself wondering why she found the potential suitors lacking. What standards other than Godly and hardworking does she have. Her statement of essentially being in limbo was sad. The start of the video with JD talking about the calf was strange. If she wanted to leave she could possibly sign up for a construction apprenticeship, after all she has helped on various unpaid projects.

[Kjaerringa]

I think she's been told she is too prideful and is not submissive enough.....watching that TH made me feel like I was watching an interview with a survivor of serious abuse.....or a cult.

[amster]

The most telling part of that clip to me was when she said she wasn't one of the younger ones, but also not one of the older married ones. So she has basically be relegated to younger sibling status because she isn't married. Jessa and Jill have basically leapfrogged her because they got married before her. She also specifically mentioned that it was hard seeing her married sisters go on date nights, because she obviously can't. What other 26yo do you know that isn't allowed to go out at night for a meal because she's not married? How fucked up is that? 

 

[sophie10130]

I'm actually surprised they left in the bit about how she doesn't feel like an "older one" because she's not married and didn't edit it out. It's such a clear window into their fucked up patriarchy.

Sure, some people think that marriage and having kids are just more things to check off the "adulting" to do list like renting an apartment, buying a house, getting a dog or cat, buying a car, etc. But very few people outside ultra-conservative Christians (maybe zero people?) honestly think they aren't an ADULT until they're married.

But then again, she doesn't have the benefit of being able to rent an apartment, buy a house, get a dog or cat, buy a car, or do anything that adults are allowed to do just because she's over the age of 18.

Fucked up. SO fucked up TLC. Seriously disgusting of you to show this and highlight this and pass it off as "Look at everything she does! She installs lighting! And sews! And builds treehouses! So well rounded! So mature! Such adult!"

[AmazonGrace]

Well but at least she hasn't been forced to marry someone she doesn't like. That's something...

 

Quote

What standards other than Godly and hardworking does she have.

Looking at Ben and Derick I think if you can possibly forget hardworking as a standard for a Duggar spouse

[actuallyjessica]

After watching Jana answer the question about her future, it seemed like there had been interested parties but an outside force (Jim Bob) deemed them unacceptable. Go back and watch with this theory in mind and see what you think.

[lascuba]

9 hours ago, Kjaerringa said:

I think she's been told she is too prideful and is not submissive enough.....watching that TH made me feel like I was watching an interview with a survivor of serious abuse.....or a cult.

Yes, years ago she did a radio interview where she said just that...that she'd been having problems with someone in the family and it was because she's too prideful and she needed to work on that.

I don't remember if it was here or elsewhere, but after the episode where the 5 older, single girls were talking about relationships (aka, The Episode that Confirmed that Jill is a Flaming Asshole), a few people floated around the theory that Jana had been interested in someone but hadn't gone about it the Duggar approved way. IIRC, people were saying that Jill kept looking at Jana while saying that if they and guys who were interested in them followed the rules--contact JB first--things would work out for them, and some assumed that that meant that Jana had started talking to a guy who hadn't talked to JB, and when JB found out he ended it. I do think that Jana is probably "picky" in the sense that she just hasn't been interested in the guys her father has brought around for her for whatever reason. She probably doesn't want someone eager to be in the spotlight like Ben, which will severely limit her options, since it's highly unlikely that anyone who truly values privacy would ever want to involved with the Duggars. But I wouldn't be at all surprised if there was also a failed quasi-relationship that's made her even more hesitant.

[Apricot]

1 hour ago, actuallyjessica said:

After watching Jana answer the question about her future, it seemed like there had been interested parties but an outside force (Jim Bob) deemed them unacceptable. Go back and watch with this theory in mind and see what you think.

I wish I could watch in the UK! Hoping it'll appear on youtube soon!

I really hope that's not the case though, it would be sad if Jana wasn't even given the chance to decide if she wanted to get to know them.  Although I can totally believe it of JB!

[NeverAFundie]

Here are my latest musings after Jana's statement that she wants a guy who works with his hands.  The older she gets, the older her potential suitors are.  Guys in their mid- and late-20s with construction-type or other blue collarish jobs are NOT going to need to work for JB to earn a living.  My second husband is a union skilled tradesman, and he can basically go anywhere, any time, and get a job in his trade.  I'm not saying every trade is like that, but if we're talking about, for example, an electrician, or a carpenter, or a machinist who is over the age of 25, he's going to have a job already and he will NOT need to suck at the Duggar teat to support a family.  I would imagine that a man like that, no matter how conservative and fundamentalist, would scare the shit out of JB.

[Four is Enough]

1 hour ago, NeverAFundie said:

<snip> he's going to have a job already and he will NOT need to suck at the Duggar teat to support a family.  I would imagine that a man like that, no matter how conservative and fundamentalist, would scare the shit out of JB.

But if they were really going after that football player for Jana, no way HE was going to work for JB. So they're going to have to settle for someone.

[Queen Of Hearts]

14 hours ago, infooverload said:

I had a chance to watch the Jana clip and had a few thoughts. I found myself wondering why she Jim Bob found the potential suitors lacking. 

Fixed that for you!

[quiverofdoubt]

I think the real issue with the interview is this: most people are happy or positive when asked the future question. I have a lot of high school friends a little older than Jana on FB, and many are in limbo. Wanting a stable job/house/family but not quite in that position yet. Or simply hunting for their career, or looking for a better job that will help them pay off student loans.  All kinds of situations. But they are excited and hopeful about the future, even if some are nervous or frustrated.  Even under those circumstances when asked where they will be in 5 years they not only have answers, but are excited about the possibilities.

It's not normal for a twenty something to look so sad, close to tears, when asked about their future.  She was asked a question that most people would consider neutral and she looked like someone hit a major trigger for her.  Like her future is bleak even in her eyes.  She's watching her life slip away with no real prospects for her future. she's what, 26? and still in the same place she was 10 years ago. I don't think she wants to be in that place in 5 or 10 years, but doesn't have any agency to get out of it either.  That's a recipe for depression right there.

[Trynn]

I'm 27, and id probably have that same reaction if someone asked me that. And I was raised to be way more independent than Jana, even if I did grow up conservative.

My future seems pretty bleak atm. I can't fault Jana for thinking likewise when she's in a worse situation than I am.

[quiverofdoubt]

20 minutes ago, Trynn said:

 

I'm 27, and id probably have that same reaction if someone asked me that. And I was raised to be way more independent than Jana, even if I did grow up conservative.

My future seems pretty bleak atm. I can't fault Jana for thinking likewise when she's in a worse situation than I am.

I hope I didn't sound faulting. That wasn't what i mean to get across.  Just that her reaction was a huge red flag for me that something is off.  Normally they only portray a positive, sweet, happy countenance (which is disconcerting in in of itself. If you're sad, hurt, angry etc, then go ahead and show it! you're human too).  But here she apparently let her guard down. She was almost as upset over her future as the girls were talking about the scandals. 

"where will you be in x years" is an inherently neutral/objective question.  Her body language, eyes, tone of voice and words indicated that she views her future in a hopeless way.  If that isn't a signal to the leg humpers that not all is right in duggarland, than they really have their head in the sand.

And Trynn i'm sorry things are looking bleak for you :(.  I hope things look up soon.  I know a lot of people around our age are struggling, it's not an easy job market, upper education is more competitive and expensive than ever.  That leaves a lot of our generation in a scary place.

[OyToTheVey]

1 hour ago, Trynn said:

 

I'm 27, and id probably have that same reaction if someone asked me that. And I was raised to be way more independent than Jana, even if I did grow up conservative.

My future seems pretty bleak atm. I can't fault Jana for thinking likewise when she's in a worse situation than I am.

I'm 32 and that question would probably bring me to tears too tbh. I kinda understand Jana. I was raised waaaaaay more independently then her but I'm still in the same position I was in 10 years ago and I don't see a change coming. Not to sound depressing or anything but a simple question about my future, even tho I have plans, I feel like I'm going thru a second quarter life crisis. As if the first wasn't enough lol

[DuggarWatch]

1 hour ago, quiverofdoubt said:

I think the real issue with the interview is this: most people are happy or positive when asked the future question. I have a lot of high school friends a little older than Jana on FB, and many are in limbo. Wanting a stable job/house/family but not quite in that position yet. Or simply hunting for their career, or looking for a better job that will help them pay off student loans.  All kinds of situations. But they are excited and hopeful about the future, even if some are nervous or frustrated.  Even under those circumstances when asked where they will be in 5 years they not only have answers, but are excited about the possibilities.

It's not normal for a twenty something to look so sad, close to tears, when asked about their future.  She was asked a question that most people would consider neutral and she looked like someone hit a major trigger for her.  Like her future is bleak even in her eyes.  She's watching her life slip away with no real prospects for her future. she's what, 26? and still in the same place she was 10 years ago. I don't think she wants to be in that place in 5 or 10 years, but doesn't have any agency to get out of it either.  That's a recipe for depression right there.

Most other 26-year-old women are working full time, in school, or are stay-at-home moms.  Jana is none of these things.   Her only career is being a Duggar and earning money from Jim Bob and/or TLC.   Her only goal in life is to get married.   She has no interests outside of the Duggar commune.  That's what is so disappointing about Jana. 

[quiverofdoubt]

35 minutes ago, DuggarWatch said:

Most other 26-year-old women are working full time, in school, or are stay-at-home moms.  Jana is none of these things.   Her only career is being a Duggar and earning money from Jim Bob and/or TLC.   Her only goal in life is to get married.   She has no interests outside of the Duggar commune.  That's what is so disappointing about Jana. 

I'm still not 100% convinced that she really wants to get married. It's more like she feels she has to, is expected to, and can't bring herself to consider other options.   I think if the cult allowed and encouraged other options she'd snap one of those up quick. But I don't think she truly has it out there as a goal, just a way out of an other wise dead end.

[infooverload]

I wonder what the responses would have been of the other adults still at home. JD doesn't seem to be in a rush to court. The line of I am working on being content where God has me; irritates me to no end. Then again I grew up in a household where if a guest asked where something was; my mom would state where the item was and would follow it up by saying God Helps those who help themselves.

[bashfulpixie]

1 hour ago, infooverload said:

 

I wonder what the responses would have been of the other adults still at home. JD doesn't seem to be in a rush to court. The line of I am working on being content where God has me; irritates me to no end. Then again I grew up in a household where if a guest asked where something was; my mom would state where the item was and would follow it up by saying God Helps those who help themselves.

That's one of my dad's favorite sayings.