Jessa, Ben, and Spurgeon part 4

[anne.stults]

On 3/14/2016 at 10:24 AM, lascuba said:

I've always thought about him. I can easily imagine him becoming abusive some time in the future.

I posted on his Facebook page under a picture of his son:  Your son is such a sweet little boy.  Please don't beat him when he is trying to explore and move.  Ben sent me a response saying:  This family does not beat children.  Stop trying to start such a nasty rumor.  

I felt it was very rude.  I particularly did not like the way he used the word "nasty".  I also felt he thought he could talk to me like that since he's a man.  Now, I did follow up to let him know it was well documented that his wife's family did use blanket training.  Maybe that's where the rumor started.  Not with me.

 

[gustava]

15 minutes ago, anne.stults said:

I posted on his Facebook page under a picture of his son:  Your son is such a sweet little boy.  Please don't beat him when he is trying to explore and move.  Ben sent me a response saying:  This family does not beat children.  Stop trying to start such a nasty rumor.  

I felt it was very rude.  I particularly did not like the way he used the word "nasty".  I also felt he thought he could talk to me like that since he's a man.  Now, I did follow up to let him know it was well documented that his wife's family did use blanket training.  Maybe that's where the rumor started.  Not with me.

 

Accusing them of beating their child was rude.  You were being nasty. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

3 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

Sorry, but I'm going to continue to snark so long as they continue posting the endless selfies, condemning others for immodest dress and behavior, professing that their version of Gothardism is the only correct religion, making a woman accountable for her husband's behavior, blaming a wife's appearance and lack of availability for sex for her husband's adultery, blaming a woman's appearance and dress for getting raped or molested, promulgating pregnancy and childbirth beyond a woman's health and ability to properly parent and care for her children, etc.

It really annoys me when people think that because young women post selfies on instagram, they deserve to be put down for not looking like super models and shamed for aspects of their body that they can't change. The changes of a post-partum body are not an ugly frumper that can be switched for a cute outfit or really bad makeup that can be washed off. 

I absolutely agree that these people hold some truly repugnant beliefs. But it is possible to criticise these beliefs without making it about women's appearances and shaming Jill and Jessa for the normal changes that happen to a body once it has been pregnant. Shaming them for having "saggy boobs" and justifying it because of what they believe is actually doing the same thing as saying "well, she does have massive boobs, what did she expect" (an actual comment someone made about me when I lodged a sexual harassment claim against a former boss who inappropriately fondled on my breasts at a work function). A woman's appearance shouldn't be dragged into things. 

And even if you don't like Jill and Jessa, which is fine, think of the women who might read this thread who have had a baby and then read a comment like yours and go '......Jill/Jessa look better than I do after baby.....what does that make me?'. That is what body shaming can do....it can affect more than the women you direct your comment at. I can't tell you how many times I've read an article where a female celeb has been shamed for minimal weight gain and looking 'pudgy' on the beach......and they're still thinner than 95% of the female population and I'm like 'wow....if she is pudgey, what does that make me? A whale?

Criticise their beliefs all your want, but please don't criticise their bodies for not 'snapping back' perfectly after pregnancy. Things like that are also why a lot of HUSBANDS feeling justified in being disappointed when their wives don't snap back too.......I do have a bad feeling Bin might be disappointed one day when Jessa's body shows the signs of 5 babies. And part of that is because we have stopped accepting natural body changes as normal.....we treat them as something women must fix and unless you have a lot of money at your disposal, many of these things can't be "fixed".....and nor do they need to be! 

[quiverofdoubt]

56 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

It's been 2 months since I miscarried at 9 weeks and I still can't fit back into 75% of my jeans. I also can't believe how much I gained in my stomach- I have always been naturally skinny with a flat stomach so this is new territory for me. Since the loss I've been using an exercise bike 30 mins a day plus walking my dog at least 4 days a week, and doing exercises with weights plus crunches. It hasn't made a dent. With a miscarriage it can take 3-6 months for hormones to level out so I can't imagine when you actually make it to the end and give birth what the recovery time is. 

for me there isn't one. Nursing keeps me from losing weight, no matter what i do. and i'm a forever nurser. so...never? Getting "back my prepregnancy" body isn't a top priority for me. 

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

1 hour ago, anne.stults said:

I posted on his Facebook page under a picture of his son:  Your son is such a sweet little boy.  Please don't beat him when he is trying to explore and move.  Ben sent me a response saying:  This family does not beat children.  Stop trying to start such a nasty rumor.  

I felt it was very rude.  I particularly did not like the way he used the word "nasty".  I also felt he thought he could talk to me like that since he's a man.  Now, I did follow up to let him know it was well documented that his wife's family did use blanket training.  Maybe that's where the rumor started.  Not with me.

 

Um, I'm going to side with Bin Boob on this one. It's not fair to accuse them of beating their baby just because her family practiced blanket training. We don't have any proof both Jill and Jessa are going to practice blanket training. I would be defensive if a stranger accused me of potentially beating my kids just because my spouse's family used blanket training. Beating babies IS a nasty rumor, that's why some snarkers shouldn't throw it around like it's fact. None of us know if any of the Duggar kids will practice blanket training on their own kids. 

 

 

[DuggarWatch]

Are you ready for this?  Apparently, on tonight's TLC show, Jessa says that she only cooks a meal a couple of times a month.

"Since I've gotten married, a couple times a month I'll actually cook a meal," she tells the camera. "It's kind of terrible."

So, what are they doing every day?  Eating out?  Bringing in fast food?  And this is a woman who has been married for over a year and has no job!!!  Not to mention the fact that Ben probably only makes minimum wage working part-time for Jim Bob and that Jessa was pregnant and should have been paying attention to nutrition and healthy eating.

Here's the clip:

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/counting-on-premiere-jessa-duggar-tries-cooking-turkeys-w167201

[Bad Wolf]

I've always thought cooking a turkey was pretty simple. With the internet for advice, you can't go too far wrong. Probably just another TLC attempt to make the show interesting.

[divadivine]

How could you live in a house with 21 people, be raised to be a Godly helpmeet and not know how to follow a recipe? Seriously, if you can read and follow directions you should be able to make a meal. It doesn't need to be super fancy. I like to cook, so maybe it's easier for me? But if you're pretty much raised to be a wife & a baby making factory, you should be able to cook a few things. Not just TTC or chickenetti. Hello, pin recipes on Pinterest or get things off the internet. Not hard. 

[quiverofdoubt]

6 minutes ago, divadivine said:

How could you live in a house with 21 people, be raised to be a Godly helpmeet and not know how to follow a recipe? Seriously, if you can read and follow directions you should be able to make a meal. It doesn't need to be super fancy. I like to cook, so maybe it's easier for me? But if you're pretty much raised to be a wife & a baby making factory, you should be able to cook a few things. Not just TTC or chickenetti. Hello, pin recipes on Pinterest or get things off the internet. Not hard. 

My mom taught herself to cook when she was maybe in her 20's, so late seventies. Mostly through cookbooks and cooking shows. She grew up on minute steaks and spam, but she's an amazing cook now. Assuming you don't mind butter. She's a little paula dean that way.

I seriously wonder what they are doing for food too. Cereal? Simple salads? eating out most nights is a huge financial waste.  

Is it possible....that ben cooks?  or does jana have to come over and cook for jessa too?

[Bad Wolf]

7 minutes ago, divadivine said:

How could you live in a house with 21 people, be raised to be a Godly helpmeet and not know how to follow a recipe? Seriously, if you can read and follow directions you should be able to make a meal. It doesn't need to be super fancy. I like to cook, so maybe it's easier for me? But if you're pretty much raised to be a wife & a baby making factory, you should be able to cook a few things. Not just TTC or chickenetti. Hello, pin recipes on Pinterest or get things off the internet. Not hard. 

I wonder what she will feed Spurge when the time comes. Baby food in a jar? Canned peas while he's lying down? Baby food is so easy to make, and costs hardly anything.

[DuggarWatch]

9 minutes ago, divadivine said:

How could you live in a house with 21 people, be raised to be a Godly helpmeet and not know how to follow a recipe? Seriously, if you can read and follow directions you should be able to make a meal. It doesn't need to be super fancy. I like to cook, so maybe it's easier for me? But if you're pretty much raised to be a wife & a baby making factory, you should be able to cook a few things. Not just TTC or chickenetti. Hello, pin recipes on Pinterest or get things off the internet. Not hard. 

I guess that the homeschooling curriculum didn't include home economics.  

It is also obvious that Michelle never cooks for her family, doesn't do laundry, doesn't clean the house, delegates the care of the youngest kids, and hires a tutor to do the homeschooling.  She's home all day, doesn't have a job, and the last baby was born six years ago.  What in the world does that woman do all day but  "be available" for Jim Bob?  

[lascuba]

Yeah, I think going to Ben's page and telling him not to beat his kid is a bad move. Spurg is still a baby, after all. That said, he's clearly being creative with how he defines "beating;" we read the police report, Ben. We know all about the rod. 

[bashfulpixie]

Cooking is not hard at all!  My mom only really knew how to make really fattening (though amazingly delicious) dishes, so I taught myself how to cook more healthy.  It's easy if you can read a recipe

[QuiverDance]

6 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

Sorry, but I'm going to continue to snark so long as they continue posting the endless selfies, condemning others for immodest dress and behavior, professing that their version of Gothardism is the only correct religion, making a woman accountable for her husband's behavior, blaming a wife's appearance and lack of availability for sex for her husband's adultery, blaming a woman's appearance and dress for getting raped or molested, promulgating pregnancy and childbirth beyond a woman's health and ability to properly parent and care for her children, etc.

<img class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" data-fileid="12353" data-unique="i6fztiyjz" src="http://www.freejinger.org/uploads/monthly_2016_03/56e85d48b49ff_0snark.png.9b7e81c6685c48e462996164cb288691.png" alt="56e85d48b49ff_0snark.png.9b7e81c6685c48e">

Snark away. Lol

[EmmieJ]

2 hours ago, divadivine said:

How could you live in a house with 21 people, be raised to be a Godly helpmeet and not know how to follow a recipe? Seriously, if you can read and follow directions you should be able to make a meal. It doesn't need to be super fancy. I like to cook, so maybe it's easier for me? But if you're pretty much raised to be a wife & a baby making factory, you should be able to cook a few things. Not just TTC or chickenetti. Hello, pin recipes on Pinterest or get things off the internet. Not hard. 

I can't tell for sure, but it seems like Jessa thinks it's sort of funny that she can barely scrape together two meals a month.  Two kidults, play-acting at marriage, parenthood and life.  

When my mom got married in the early 50's, she didn't know how to cook either.  My dad showed her how to make spaghetti for their first meal after their honeymoon.  After that, she turned to the Betty Crocker cookbook and got recipes from her mom and her MIL.  

[Bad Wolf]

I've always said if you can read, you can cook. Maybe SOTDRT hasn't taught reading well enough to follow a recipe.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

45 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

I've always said if you can read, you can cook. Maybe SOTDRT hasn't taught reading well enough to follow a recipe.

That reminds me of a quote a comedian said on MTV's Girl Code, "If you can read, you can cook. And, if you can't read, you need to go back to the first grade."

[Mercer]

4 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

Are you ready for this?  Apparently, on tonight's TLC show, Jessa says that she only cooks a meal a couple of times a month.

"Since I've gotten married, a couple times a month I'll actually cook a meal," she tells the camera. "It's kind of terrible."

I really don't get what Jessa does with her time.

I wouldn't necessarily expect her to get a cooked meal on the table every single night with a small child to care for, but only managing it a few times a month seems pretty ridiculous when she has chosen to be a homemaker. Probably she doesn't like to cook, and if so I sympathize, but food preparation is kind of one those things that isn't optional even if you dislike it because you and your family still need to eat.

Maybe Ben does all the cooking in the family? If so, that's equally fine, as long as someone is feeding them and two people who are both basically stay-at-home aren't just relying on takeout or prepackaged meals all the time.

I would just think Jessa would be bored if she's leaving stuff like that to Ben. She doesn't work outside the home, doesn't appear to have a regular volunteer commitment, doesn't ever seem to read, write, create art, or make any crafts. She appears to have few outside friends and little to no outside interests.

So if she's routinely skipping basic tasks in the home also... what exactly does she do with herself? That's the part I don't get. Most homemakers are plenty busy, but Jessa does not appear to be.

[librarychick]

20 minutes ago, Mercer said:

I really don't get what Jessa does with her time.

I wouldn't necessarily expect her to get a cooked meal on the table every single night with a small child to care for, but only managing it a few times a month seems pretty ridiculous when she has chosen to be a homemaker. Probably she doesn't like to cook, and if so I sympathize, but food preparation is kind of one those things that isn't optional even if you dislike it because you and your family still need to eat.

Maybe Ben does all the cooking in the family? If so, that's equally fine, as long as someone is feeding them and two people who are both basically stay-at-home aren't just relying on takeout or prepackaged meals all the time.

I would just think Jessa would be bored if she's leaving stuff like that to Ben. She doesn't work outside the home, doesn't appear to have a regular volunteer commitment, doesn't ever seem to read, write, create art, or make any crafts. She appears to have few outside friends and little to no outside interests.

So if she's routinely skipping basic tasks in the home also... what exactly does she do with herself? That's the part I don't get. Most homemakers are plenty busy, but Jessa does not appear to be.

She doesn't have to do any household tasks because she has plenty of J'Slaves at her disposal now that she is a "MOTHER" (insert harp music, angels and halos here).  Maybe she does whatever the hell it is that J'Chelle does all day.  (Bascially nothing).  

 

[2manyKidzzz]

It does not seem that any domestic skills are a part of their fundie culture. Just being an available, submissive wife is the deal. Yuck.

[ClaraOswin]

46 minutes ago, Mercer said:

I really don't get what Jessa does with her time.

I wouldn't necessarily expect her to get a cooked meal on the table every single night with a small child to care for, but only managing it a few times a month seems pretty ridiculous when she has chosen to be a homemaker. Probably she doesn't like to cook, and if so I sympathize, but food preparation is kind of one those things that isn't optional even if you dislike it because you and your family still need to eat.

Maybe Ben does all the cooking in the family? If so, that's equally fine, as long as someone is feeding them and two people who are both basically stay-at-home aren't just relying on takeout or prepackaged meals all the time.

I would just think Jessa would be bored if she's leaving stuff like that to Ben. She doesn't work outside the home, doesn't appear to have a regular volunteer commitment, doesn't ever seem to read, write, create art, or make any crafts. She appears to have few outside friends and little to no outside interests.

So if she's routinely skipping basic tasks in the home also... what exactly does she do with herself? That's the part I don't get. Most homemakers are plenty busy, but Jessa does not appear to be.

My husband does 90% of the cooking in our house. I'll help with some prep work and side dishes. But I am totally grossed out by raw meat so he almost always handles the main dish. He also helps with the cleaning around the house. I am a stay at home mom. Even though I don't do a lot of the cooking and I get help with cleaning...I am still plenty busy with just the 1 child. Everyone has different priorities though. For me...cleaning is really low on the list. I mean, our house isn't terrible because we just to stay ahead of things. So when I get downtime, I choose to go on Free Jinger instead of doing my stay at home mom duties (cleaning.) Playing with my son is priority #1 during the day. I can easily fill an entire day with that and get nothing else done. 

I feel like so many people (not you, just people in general) think that stay at home moms or homemakers need to work extra hard 24/7 to compensate for not having a job outside the home. Like we shouldn't get ANY relaxation time or "me time" or whatever. If I got zero me time...I would probably lose my mind.

[Jucifer]

On March 12, 2016 at 8:18 PM, Yes, TOTALLY said:

That irritated me as well, especially because I couldn't even understand what he was saying. His diction is terrible but I could tell it was something preachy. He is a try hard for sure and comes off very holier-than-thou. Probably because he has been brought up to believe he is one of the elect.

And because he's so painfully dumb. 

[Toothfairy]

So Benessa still doesn't do anything with their life but play house. Ben still doesn't work? I would be embarrassed that I'm married to a man thats my father's maid. 

[DuggarWatch]

3 hours ago, Mercer said:

I really don't get what Jessa does with her time.

I wouldn't necessarily expect her to get a cooked meal on the table every single night with a small child to care for, but only managing it a few times a month seems pretty ridiculous when she has chosen to be a homemaker. Probably she doesn't like to cook, and if so I sympathize, but food preparation is kind of one those things that isn't optional even if you dislike it because you and your family still need to eat.

Maybe Ben does all the cooking in the family? If so, that's equally fine, as long as someone is feeding them and two people who are both basically stay-at-home aren't just relying on takeout or prepackaged meals all the time.

I would just think Jessa would be bored if she's leaving stuff like that to Ben. She doesn't work outside the home, doesn't appear to have a regular volunteer commitment, doesn't ever seem to read, write, create art, or make any crafts. She appears to have few outside friends and little to no outside interests.

So if she's routinely skipping basic tasks in the home also... what exactly does she do with herself? That's the part I don't get. Most homemakers are plenty busy, but Jessa does not appear to be.

She likes photography (taking selfies). 

[Mercer]

Unless Ben is planning on never getting a job, he really needs to start thinking about establishing a serious work history. Being propped up by his father-in-law for all of his young adulthood isn't going to play very well to prospective employers. The longer this drags on, the harder it's going to be for him to convincingly claim he's employable. It's nice for parents-in-law to help a young couple get on their feet, but... this is definitely past the point of help and into territory where it's going to hold him back from opportunities because it makes him look like he's either too lazy or too incompetent to establish himself in his own job. He really needs to start working on a resume that includes things other than accepting what basically amounts to charity from Jim Bob.