Jessa, Ben, and Spurgeon part 4

[artdecades]

Just now, nausicaa said:

But once there's six little Spurgettes in tow, will he have the time?

Of course he will. He is a penis haver. He doesn't take care of children. And I doubt he will have acquired a real job by then.

[Cleopatra7]

I think the main problem is that when you have a huge quiver of children, it's hard to take care of household chores in the same way you could with a smaller family. Recipes like chickenetti and TTC work for huge families because they're cheap, filling, and quick to make. Given that Quiverfull women are supposed to homeschool, homebirth, do all the household chores, and be "joyously available" some things simply go through the cracks even with sister moms, including good nutrition. In the past, any family who could have maids did have maids precisely because all this housework is too much for one woman to do all by herself. Whatever gains washing machines and other lavor saving devices might have are cancelled out when you have a baseball team-sized family. This is why doing the laundry is so punishing in the TTH, because you're probably doing it 24/7 with the number of people in that house, some JD and the other man-boys don't seem to comprehend.

[quiverofdoubt]

13 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

I think the main problem is that when you have a huge quiver of children, it's hard to take care of household chores in the same way you could with a smaller family. Recipes like chickenetti and TTC work for huge families because they're cheap, filling, and quick to make. Given that Quiverfull women are supposed to homeschool, homebirth, do all the household chores, and be "joyously available" some things simply go through the cracks even with sister moms, including good nutrition. In the past, any family who could have maids did have maids precisely because all this housework is too much for one woman to do all by herself. Whatever gains washing machines and other lavor saving devices might have are cancelled out when you have a baseball team-sized family. This is why doing the laundry is so punishing in the TTH, because you're probably doing it 24/7 with the number of people in that house, some JD and the other man-boys don't seem to comprehend.

I do most of the housework because of my husband's work schedule, and i'm at home. But he does help out a lot (right now he's gathering all the household trash to take to the dump. a pretty big job for a pregnant lady).  he also cooks and cleans on weekends.

and i only have one kid, expecting number 2.

And i still just can't keep up with the mess. I feel like I do a ton of laundry. And i have to cook most meals at home because of our location (no pizza place delivers this far out).

I can't imagine how hard it is to keep up with all those people. The laundry alone....especially with the howlers playing outside. So. much. laundry.  it must feel like the guy pushing the rock up the hill in hell. Every time a basket is empty another hamper is full.  And so many small people to spill, make messes they can't clean up, track in dirt, make trash to take out. It goes on and on. It has to be constant and exhausting work.

And in the mean time you still have all the mess makers to take care of- schooling needs to be done, squabbles sorted out. With the m kids there butts/hands/faces needing to be wiped. And kids eat.  all. day long. all day.  I'm sure it helps that all the j's are over 5 now and need less constant attention. But the work must still be astronomical. 

Poor jana

[Bad Wolf]

Add the M kids into that, because the boys are still young. I would think Anna is taking care of Meredith.

[quiverofdoubt]

Just now, Bad Wolf said:

Add the M kids into that, because the boys are still young. I would think Anna is taking care of Meredith.

Yep. 3 butts to wipe, 3 faces to clean, 6 hands to wash. a million snacks and meals to prep.  I'd hope Meredith is still Anna's "buddy"

[SassyPants]

I haven't watched any of the shows since Jill's wedding, but in photos posted he already looks as if he's packing on the bulk in his midsection and thighs.

[ClaraOswin]

51 minutes ago, quiverofdoubt said:

Yep. 3 butts to wipe, 3 faces to clean, 6 hands to wash. a million snacks and meals to prep.  I'd hope Meredith is still Anna's "buddy"

In the new episode, did we see Anna interact with any of her kids besides Meredith?

[Dandruff]

15 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

In the new episode, did we see Anna interact with any of her kids besides Meredith?

Don't think so.  They appear to be fully absorbed into the collective.

If Ben does go more gym rat, maybe he could become a personal trainer?  I'm not suggesting he'd be good at it - but am thinking a source of income that doesn't involve Jim Bob.

[DuggarWatch]

2 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Don't think so.  They appear to be fully absorbed into the collective.

If Ben does go more gym rat, maybe he could become a personal trainer?  I'm not suggesting he'd be good at it - but am thinking a source of income that doesn't involve Jim Bob.

Jessa is his source of income.

[HRM1216]

Don't think so.  They appear to be fully absorbed into the collective.

If Ben does go more gym rat, maybe he could become a personal trainer?  I'm not suggesting he'd be good at it - but am thinking a source of income that doesn't involve Jim Bob.

I actually think Ben could be a good personal trainer if he was allowed to pursue it. He likes staying in shape and talking to people, but there would be women and men with a lot more exposed than calves and arms in a real gym. I don't think Jessa would be okay with him doing training with a woman in shorts and a tank top.

So sadly for all involved I'm sure he'll stay mostly under JB's thumb and become some sort of YouTube preacher lol.

[Carol]

2 hours ago, quiverofdoubt said:

I do most of the housework because of my husband's work schedule, and i'm at home. But he does help out a lot (right now he's gathering all the household trash to take to the dump. a pretty big job for a pregnant lady).  he also cooks and cleans on weekends.

and i only have one kid, expecting number 2.

And i still just can't keep up with the mess. I feel like I do a ton of laundry. And i have to cook most meals at home because of our location (no pizza place delivers this far out).

I can't imagine how hard it is to keep up with all those people. The laundry alone....especially with the howlers playing outside. So. much. laundry.  it must feel like the guy pushing the rock up the hill in hell. Every time a basket is empty another hamper is full.  And so many small people to spill, make messes they can't clean up, track in dirt, make trash to take out. It goes on and on. It has to be constant and exhausting work.

And in the mean time you still have all the mess makers to take care of- schooling needs to be done, squabbles sorted out. With the m kids there butts/hands/faces needing to be wiped. And kids eat.  all. day long. all day.  I'm sure it helps that all the j's are over 5 now and need less constant attention. But the work must still be astronomical. 

Poor jana

I think the hardest thing for me to accept about the Duggars was their need to acquire 19 children.  I don't care who you are, you cannot meet the emotional needs of that many children.  Children suffer because of this. 

I grew up with 8 brothers and sisters.  We had a full time housekeeper, full time gardener, live in nannies, babysitters and all kinds of accessory people who came and went.  Even with all the help things were still crazy busy with 9 kids and, unfortunately, it made no difference in my parent's ability to know us as individuals, not as a swirling group of clones.

I think Michelle and Jim Bob are incredibly selfish.  Thinking about it makes me upset.  I'll stop there.

[quiverofdoubt]

1 minute ago, Carol said:

I think the hardest thing for me to accept about the Duggars was their need to acquire 19 children.  I don't care who you are, you cannot meet the emotional needs of that many children.  Children suffer because of this. 

I grew up with 8 brothers and sisters.  We had a full time housekeeper, full time gardener, live in nannies, babysitters and all kinds of accessory people who came and went.  Even with all the help things were still crazy busy with 9 kids and, unfortunately, it made no difference in my parent's ability to know us as individuals, not as a swirling group of clones.

I think Michelle and Jim Bob are incredibly selfish.  Thinking about it makes me upset.  I'll stop there.

They are not concerned with the emotional needs of their children. As long as the kids follow gothard/quiverful, are obedient, and play the part they are given, nothing else matters. Oh, and that they take care of their teeth and play an instrument.  After that their parenting job is done.  In their minds they meet their kids food needs, religious needs, keep them dressed, keep their teeth in order, teach them to know jesus (in their very specific correct way) and that's all that matters. The emotional, spiritual, artistic, individual needs of their kids are superfluous. 

[2manyKidzzz]

I wonder if meeting the emotional needs of their children is even a concept they are aware of, after the Jeebus thing. 

[Bad Wolf]

Their needs are not recognized. Every child wants to play the piano and violin. Every child wants to sing "I've been redeemed" on a street corner. They all want to have their lives and mishaps shown on television. (Think Josie and the blow out.) I've never seen a family give their children so few choices.

[twinmama]

5 hours ago, KnittingOwl said:

Not really. Our daughter slept with DH and I from the time she was about 1 1/2 to almost 3. We had to transition her out of the crib because she was climbing out of her crib, but then she was having night terrors. She didn't have them when she slept with us. At about 3, she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed. She's 4 now and still does, although sometimes wakes up around 6 and climbs in to bed with us on the weekends. 

Same. I had one that around 10 months old woke every night screaming, then he'd fall asleep on my husband's chest and either sleep in our bed, or in a pack n play in our room. Then a month later he stopped waking up screaming and slept all night in his crib in his room. Then whenever they are sick we let them sleep in our bed if they want or need to. They get better, they go back to their bed. I worried that it would become a habit, but it never has.

[nst]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I haven't watched any of the shows since Jill's wedding, but in photos posted he already looks as if he's packing on the bulk in his midsection and thighs.

he totally is - as well as his head 

 

[EmmieJ]

1 hour ago, twinmama said:

Same. I had one that around 10 months old woke every night screaming, then he'd fall asleep on my husband's chest and either sleep in our bed, or in a pack n play in our room. Then a month later he stopped waking up screaming and slept all night in his crib in his room. Then whenever they are sick we let them sleep in our bed if they want or need to. They get better, they go back to their bed. I worried that it would become a habit, but it never has.

Very similar experience with my child, except he had night terrors around age 4.  He was always allowed to sleep with me when sick or frightened.  Always went back to his own bed a day or two later.

[nst]

4 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

Jessa is his source of income.

and this the crux of their whole marriage - he wanted a ministry and thought she would fit the mold. Not to mention the brand which was built in until it went to hell - and then he pretended to care. 

I do think they fell in love blah blah - but I seriously doubt before Ben - Jessa knew who Charles Spurgeon was 

I think they have orchestrated their little life - 

 

[nst]

someone needs to count every time they both posted a picture of them eating out 

  

Charles Spurgeon is all over Ben's twitter going back to last year April and stuff - and jessa even posted a picture of a book he gave her from Charles Spurgeon - Ben must have loved this guy for years or something 

[anotherone]

5 hours ago, Carol said:

I grew up with 8 brothers and sisters.  We had a full time housekeeper, full time gardener, live in nannies, babysitters and all kinds of accessory people who came and went.  Even with all the help things were still crazy busy with 9 kids and, unfortunately, it made no difference in my parent's ability to know us as individuals, not as a swirling group of clones.

You probably also had school teachers for ~7 hrs a day per kid, girl scout leaders, gym coaches, etc that also pick up some slack in most people's lives.  The Duggars don't even have that.  All they have is a laundry grandma.

[Kjaerringa]

My 1st born was 8lbs, 13 oz....I'm 5'3. Labor was long and grueling, but I had enough amniotic fluid to fill Lake Michigan, so the prolonged labor was not as concerning. I did have an internal monitor, due to meconium staining, and that was comforting. Turns out I have a pelvic ridge that he just couldn't get under.....so by the end, I had two nurses pushing down on my stomach, headship and SiL supporting my shoulders, and two more nurses holding my knees. Dr. K was amazing, as much a doula as a doc, stayed in the room for much of the 23 hour labor. That's his way. We did self hypnosis for birth prep.....I tend to be a worrier, but it was terrific. Did have the epidural around hour 13 so I would not be too tired to push. And push, I did....at that point the NICU people were in the room, just in case, as well as I think the  entire population of med students....it was a teaching hospital, they asked permission, what can I say? I have a different sense of modesty than the Duggars, I guess.  Anyway....I tore very badly, because after he was positioned  well,  I pushed so  hard, he rocketed  out from there like the human  cannonball at the circus, and  I tore  through my rectum.  (We had the assistance  of both  Mr. Forceps  and Mr. Vacuum, as  well.)  Dr. K had to put  Humpty Dumpty back together again,  and I  became a  sitzbath devotee  for a few weeks.  But I was never scared. I was carefully monitored at  a  great  hospital. His heart rate was always  good.    And  when he was  born,  he  was perfect....just  a little  swelling  where the internal monitor was attached.  DD, number  2,  was 7lbs 14 oz, 2 weeks early,  and the delivery was much easier.   I had been on  restrictions  due to pre term labor at 7 months,  but  Dr. K was  planning to induce if I  went  much longer..... So he told me to  start being active again, and it worked!  Needless  to say, had  my first  child been  a  home birth, we  most  likely would not have survived.  So  Jill  and  Jessa's  experiences  terrified me.

[DuggarWatch]

5 hours ago, anotherone said:

You probably also had school teachers for ~7 hrs a day per kid, girl scout leaders, gym coaches, etc that also pick up some slack in most people's lives.  The Duggars don't even have that.  All they have is a laundry grandma.

Michelle said that her homeschooling lessons were for four hours a day.  In the U.S., the average school day is 6.75 hours per day.  The Duggar kids do not have an adequate education.

[Jessalyn]

The length of the time you are in lessons doesn't really say much for your education. 

If you are doing homeschool correctly, with state approved curriculum, you can finish your lessons in 4 hours no problem. 

Saying that, its usually one on one time with a student and a teacher, which the SOTDRT is not.

I think the reason the Duggars are under educated is due to a lot of factors, like what they are being taught, who is teaching them and how they are being taught. 

[foreign fundie]

46 minutes ago, DuggarWatch said:

Michelle said that her homeschooling lessons were for four hours a day.  In the U.S., the average school day is 6.75 hours per day.  The Duggar kids do not have an adequate education.

I agree that their education is probably inadequate. The reason I assume that is because they have very limited access to good resources and because their teachers are barely educated themselves. Also they seem to have few opportunities to seriously develop personal interests.

But time in school is not used efficiently. Children who attend school spend much time doing what they already can do or waiting for teachers and classmates to complete something.

One of my children home schooled for several years. A state curriculum, all academic subjects and several foreign languages. She hated me to sit down with her to teach and preferred teaching herself. I was available to answer math questions which she struggled with. But on many days, she was done with her schoolwork before I even woke up. 

After three years, she went to middle school (a year early) and is doing very well, even though she studies in a second language. She goes to an official school on-line with real-time digital classes. They cover all academics in 10 class hours a week. She does an hour or so homework per day in addition to that. She learns more than I did in middle school, in less than half the time. Oh the hours I wasted!

And it gives her plenty of time to seriously persue her passions, and develop them into skills she can make a living with. As for social skills, all her classmates are on skype and they do groupwork and homework together. And her class mates are from all over the world, so plenty of exposure to different ideas. I love the educational alternatives the internet offers.

 

[anotherone]

2 hours ago, Jessalyn said:

 

If you are doing homeschool correctly, . 

Well therein lies the problem....

You know, I would think "real" homeschoolers should be embarrassed by the Duggars the same way Christians should.  If I chose homeschooling for my kids I would cringe when I saw what they do as the example much of the TV audience is seeing about homeschooling.  Why people defend them about either of these things is beyond me.