Bates Family Part 11

[LawsonBatesEgo]

Maybe should have chosen my wording mroe carefully but as others have said, there is a difference between being outspoken/sassy/confident in standing up for yourself and being obnoxious/annoying. I think it's great Tori and Carlin feel empowered to be more than meek little fundie girls, but on more than one occasion, both have crossed the line into being rude and obnoxious. Like I found Carlin obnoxious and annoying when she went into someone else's home (Brandon and Michael) and went on and on screeching that their ottoman was ugly and needed to be replaced. That's not sassy. That's plain old rude. It's good to be comfortable having and stating an opinion. But it's not good to repeatedly cross the line in being rude and obnoxious when doing so. But Carlin is also just 17 years old. Many teenagers are over the top and obnoxious. What I think she needs is for someone to explain to her that it's OK to have an opinion but it's not OK to be rude to others when expressing it. 

[paulypepper]

On 3/4/2016 at 9:00 AM, HermioneSparrow said:

I don't understand FJ. If a girl is submissive is bad, but if one girl is sassy/loud is bad too. If a guy has a pink room in his house, is not manly enough or a pushover. If a guy wants to have an opinion on decoration or something "girly" is controlling, violent and plays for the other team. You all need to make up your mind, I think a lot of FJers dissect every little thing we know about fundies and plainly just hate. I'm the first to criticize them but not based on ten seconds staged by a tv show.

I have had a pink mohawk for about 8 years now, showing support for women and men, yes men get it too..who have breast cancer...and along the way I have gotten rude or snide comments about a guy having a 'pink' mohawk must mean he is gay, etc....but I'm at the point in my life where I just shrug it off..like they say, people gonna hate

[socalrules]

The comments over the size of the apartment bothered me too. A young couple, with a limited income, can be expected to have a small apartment when starting out together. It didn't even seem that small to me. Maybe it appeared smaller because so many people were in it. Brandon doesn't appear controlling to me. He just doesn't seem comfortable in front of the camera and maybe not around such a large, loud and boisterous family. He comes from a large family, but not Mega family large, and they may be less over the top.

As to the redecorating, Michael and Brandon decorated their first apartment together and maybe Brandon liked it the way it was because it was their way. For all we know Michael has told Brandon about her family walking over her and he knows she is too polite to stop them. Plus, the more criticism Michael was getting from her sisters about her decorating, the more she may have started to doubt her own abilities. I don't think her sisters meant any hard, I think they just have overpowering personalities that can, at times, grate on one's nerves.

[SweetFellowshipper]

@socalrules, especially in Chicago! The Bates live in rural TN....very different housing market and price range!

[picklepizzas]

count me in on getting a weird vibe from brandon, but feeling that it has nothing to do with control issues/potential mistreatment of michael. he just seems weird, but not in a way that makes me think he's at all a bad guy. if anything, he seems over the top considerate of michael (i mean, c'mon, he let her design their bedroom in baby pink....)

 

 

[gustava]

Wasn't there another fundie bride who did the frilly bedroom thing?

[choralcrusader8613]

Yeah, Erin and Chad had a really frilly bedroom.

[SweetFellowshipper]

35 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

count me in on getting a weird vibe from brandon, but feeling that it has nothing to do with control issues/potential mistreatment of michael. he just seems weird, but not in a way that makes me think he's at all a bad guy. if anything, he seems over the top considerate of michael (i mean, c'mon, he let her design their bedroom in baby pink....)

 

 

Yeah, but when Chad does this it's romantic and amazing, etc...I find Brandon less likable than Chad, too, but that doesn't mean the latter is actually a better husband, just more personable, outgoing, and comfortable with being publicly mushy (often important to extroverts and romantics).

It seems like they ended up with people who fit them. Erin is nervous and outgoing and princessy and needs another outgoing partner who will dote on her and be her rock; Michaela is serious, sexual yet hyperreligious, and as "intellectual" as a fundie can get (liberal arts degree even after marriage); Alyssa wants someone who's cool with privacy but likes to show her off at events and take her out on the town; and Zach is a down-to-earth homebody like Whit. I actually think they're all excellent matches. Plus, Brandon's gifts to Michaela during their courtship were at least as romantic and thoughtful as anything the other husbands have done.

[picklepizzas]

1 minute ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

Yeah, but when Chad does this it's romantic and amazing, etc...I find Brandon less likable than Chad, too, but that doesn't mean the latter is actually a better husband, just more personable, outgoing, and comfortable with being publicly mushy (often important to extroverts and romantics).

agreed - i didn't meant to give brandon a hard time for the baby pink bedroom - by pointing that out i meant to say that someone who lets his wife baby pinkify his bedroom doesn't strike me as someone who is oh-so-particular and controlling about his living space! 

[SweetFellowshipper]

2 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

agreed - i didn't meant to give brandon a hard time for the baby pink bedroom - by pointing that out i meant to say that someone who lets his wife baby pinkify his bedroom doesn't strike me as someone who is oh-so-particular and controlling about his living space! 

Oh, I was agreeing. Sorry, didn't make that entirely clear.

[punkiepie]

9 minutes ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

Yeah, but when Chad does this it's romantic and amazing, etc...I find Brandon less likable than Chad, too, but that doesn't mean the latter is actually a better husband, just more personable, outgoing, and comfortable with being publicly mushy (often important to extroverts and romantics).

It seems like they ended up with people who fit them. Erin is nervous and outgoing and princessy and needs another outgoing partner who will dote on her and be her rock; Michaela is serious, sexual yet hyperreligious, and as "intellectual" as a fundie can get (liberal arts degree even after marriage); Alyssa wants someone who's cool with privacy but likes to show her off at events and take her out on the town; and Zach is a down-to-earth homebody like Whit. I actually think they're all excellent matches. Plus, Brandon's gifts to Michaela during their courtship were at least as romantic and thoughtful as anything the other husbands have done.

Damn that Chad!  He's ruined all other fundie men, IMO.  I want my own Chad!  Hi, my name is punkiepie and I am a Chad leghumper.  I know I'm on a slippery slope, but I can't help it. Even though I know he must have many of those toxic beliefs that I abhor, I still think he's the best of all the fundie men and better than a lot of men in the regular secular world.  

Admitting you have have a problem is the first step... Right? 

[MissBitters]

I don't mind the pink, but the Ten Commandments in the bedroom is a little too weird for me.

[busdrivingmom]

Hubby and my bedroom is purple-pink.  Pink walls, we used to have a pink comforter, some flower prints on the walls, but not totally frilly.  My family was like, cool.  Hubby's family still gives us crap cause hubby let me paint the room pink.  Honestly, hubby is pretty laid back and goes along with most of my suggestions.  If I had asked to paint the bedroom blood red or take out a weight bearing wall, he would say no.   But his family thinks a pink bedroom (and other things I have done with the yard) means he's totally whipped.  

[umsami]

I wonder if the decorating schemes are taught at Journey to the Heart or something.  It seems like a lot of IBLP newlyweds have similar taste.   Does creepy Uncle Bill specify how one's martial home should look like as well?  Is it a long curly hair type thing that I missed? 

[19 cats and counting]

1 hour ago, gustava said:

Wasn't there another fundie bride who did the frilly bedroom thing?

Who happened to be Michael's sister.

[Granwych]

5 minutes ago, umsami said:

I wonder if the decorating schemes are taught at Journey to the Heart or something.  It seems like a lot of IBLP newlyweds have similar taste.   Does creepy Uncle Bill specify how one's martial home should look like as well?  Is it a long curly hair type thing that I missed? 

Good grief, the thought of Bill just even standing in a bedroom makes me ill.  

[nickelodeon]

So into the blossoming and scented-candle-flanked ten commandments. So cute.

[gustava]

1 hour ago, choralcrusader8613 said:

Yeah, Erin and Chad had a really frilly bedroom.

Runs in the family, I guess. Seems as if the husbands support the wives.

[lascuba]

3 hours ago, socalrules said:

The comments over the size of the apartment bothered me too. A young couple, with a limited income, can be expected to have a small apartment when starting out together. It didn't even seem that small to me. Maybe it appeared smaller because so many people were in it. Brandon doesn't appear controlling to me. He just doesn't seem comfortable in front of the camera and maybe not around such a large, loud and boisterous family. He comes from a large family, but not Mega family large, and they may be less over the top.

 

Same here. It looked like a  slightly smaller than average sized apartment to me. But I've always lived in cities in the northeastern US...I know in many other parts of the country people get more bang for their buck when it comes to property, so that might be part of what the Bates were reacting to. Still, for a very long time they lived 12+ crammed into a tiny house. They need to STFU. 

[actuallyjessica]

Chad spam!

[Snarkle]

Erin and Michaella seem to prefer the Shabby Chic look that was in some time ago, with a heaping helping of Pinterest country-fying on the side.  Target still has a bunch of frilly, floral, pastel shabby chic items that look like they ended up in the Bates daughter's married bedrooms.  (Although Michaella's duvet reminds me of a pastel parachute somewhat.)  Not my style, or my husband's, but as others have said, it's like they're channeling their inner teenager.  I have yellow and blue in my bedroom with a small floral print on my comforter (to reflect Monet's Giverney), but the furniture is a masculine Arts & Crafts dark wood to balance it out.  The only complaint my husband has is the number of layers I have on the bed because I'm cold in winter.   I have to say the Ten Commandment shrine is way over the top - and I've seen some pretty massive crosses in bedrooms, even over the bed itself in people's homes, but wow, that is a lot.  The bedroom might be one of the largest rooms, though, so she may have concentrated her decorating there (hopefully the family left that room alone!). 

[SweetFellowshipper]

I don't personally find Chad very physically attractive, but dang, is he a GOOD husband.

[colors_outside15]

19 hours ago, Pretzel said:

I have to confess I really just watched it because I wanted to see Alyssa around her family. Could she be more over it? They way she told off Carlin's "YOUR kid spit on me!!111" at the store with "You were squeezin' her belly" was just brilliant. 

Haha - that's why I watched it too. Alyssa hasn't been on this season, which makes sense because she seems to have been over her family for years in many different ways. I LOVED that Alyssa made sure Allie was okay first before getting Carlin paper towel or whatever to clean off her arm. Alyssa didn't freak out about the spit-up, and she was snuggly with Allie, which I thought was super cute. She seems like a confident mom, who loves her "pumpkin", and while it was only a two minute clip, the mother/daughter dynamic there looked healthy and happy. I liked being able to see the other changes too - this wasn't organized/cooking Alyssa who was worried about getting a perfect meal together for the whole huge crew. She gave some tips to her sisters about what to put into the cart, but seemed really content to just be with Allie (and John). I don't see Alyssa having eleventy children. Whatever ends up happening, happens, but for now, I give Alyssa major props for being over her family while being respectful as well as remaining close with Jane and Josie, standing up to people on social media, making her own fashion choices, having close friends outside of her family, and setting up an environment that works for her and her husband. Less than two years ago she was being dictated around by daddy. Now, she seems healthy and happy. Those are some big steps! 

[RoseWilder]

1 hour ago, Snarkle said:

Erin and Michaella seem to prefer the Shabby Chic look that was in some time ago, with a heaping helping of Pinterest country-fying on the side.  

The Fundies seem to be about 15-20 years behind the decorating trends. Even the houses that seem newer and better decorated still look like a really nice house from the late 90s. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

6 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

I don't personally find Chad very physically attractive, but dang, is he a GOOD husband.

For me, Chad is the classic example of a decent enough looking guy who gets elevated to OMG REALLY HOT status on the back of his personality. 

Seeing him be so wonderful with Erin and Carson takes him from a solid and above average 7.5/8 to an 11.