Bates Family Part 11

[QuiverDance]

On 3/6/2016 at 9:07 PM, Snarkle said:

Erin and Michaella seem to prefer the Shabby Chic look that was in some time ago, with a heaping helping of Pinterest country-fying on the side.  Target still has a bunch of frilly, floral, pastel shabby chic items that look like they ended up in the Bates daughter's married bedrooms.  (Although Michaella's duvet reminds me of a pastel parachute somewhat.)  Not my style, or my husband's, but as others have said, it's like they're channeling their inner teenager.  I have yellow and blue in my bedroom with a small floral print on my comforter (to reflect Monet's Giverney), but the furniture is a masculine Arts & Crafts dark wood to balance it out.  The only complaint my husband has is the number of layers I have on the bed because I'm cold in winter.   I have to say the Ten Commandment shrine is way over the top - and I've seen some pretty massive crosses in bedrooms, even over the bed itself in people's homes, but wow, that is a lot.  The bedroom might be one of the largest rooms, though, so she may have concentrated her decorating there (hopefully the family left that room alone!). 

I think you can do shabby chic without getting the look of a teenager's bedroom, but it's easy to goverboard.  

8 hours ago, elliha said:

My daughter only wears leggings or "tights pants" as she calls them and sometimes I force her to wear sweatpants but jeans are totally out. "No hard pants!!!" is what I will hear if I try to convince her to wear them. Skirts and dresses without leggings are a no no, the same way going outside in summer without a hat is vetoed. I am not that much of an "obey or else" parent but this is one of the points that I am prepared to fight for. 

My son is 6, and he still refuses to wear anything other than "soft pants."  He hates jeans and chinos.  Tea Collection is my friend if he needs to look halfway "nice."

[freethemall]

47 minutes ago, tumblr said:

Jeans are a nightmare for me personally. I am 5' so even if I buy the smallest size in the juniors department they still typically would need to be shortened so they don't drag on the ground. Also because my feet rarely touch the ground in a chair it is far more comfortable for me to cross my legs (plus my mother ingrained it in my head to always have them crossed) these two facts alone my jeans really uncomfortable for me.

I wear lots of leggings and dresses but for an occasion where I need jeans I always buy from a thrift store. Someone else has already stretched them out so they are comfortable for me and I don't feel terrible for DYIing the hem sense I botch it 2/3 of the time. 

Old Navy! Their petite are truly petite - I'm 5' as well.

Alyssa has truly figured out dressing for her body type. It's unfortunate that so many fundies are stuck in clothes that is totally unflattering for them. Case in point - most long maxi skirts, with the t-shirts and skirt starting at the hips. Michael does that look and it shrinks her.

Also (because I mentioned Michael) I finally watched the episode with the sisters visiting and I don't see all the accusations of Brandon being controlling. It's his house, and he was a pretty good sport about his in-laws coming in and changing everything while he's at work. Seemed more like shock. And yeah, Michael definitely seems to be using the "let's see what he thinks" so she can get some back-up in the face of Carlin obnoxiously trying to dominate the design decisions. In fact, I'd say Carlin is the one being kind of controlling and abusive, more than anyone else.

[withaj]

5 hours ago, NeverAFundie said:

My jeans-hating daughter is nearly 13, and STILL prefers leggings to jeans.  And so funny that your daughter calls jeans "hard pants," because my 5-year-old son refers to non-jeans pants (athletic pants, sweat pants) as "soft pants."  Much to his construction worker father's dismay, he prefers his "soft pants" to jeans, too.

Ooh, I was a jeans-hating kid, too. Part of the reason is that my wardrobe from ages 5-10 was pretty much exclusively a school uniform, so I never had many "real clothes" to choose from other than shorts and t-shirts for the weekends. I have a texture "thing" and I hated denim and the stiffness of jeans. When we moved and I started at a public school without uniforms, I had to figure out what to wear. It didn't help that I was 10, 5'6" and growing, but didn't have hips yet so kids' sizes no longer fit and juniors' sizes didn't really, either. I vaguely recall  wearing a lot of ugly polyester skirts. By 11 or 12 I was in all jeans, though, since I was finally the right shape (and around 5'10" by then, so no way was a kids-sized anything going to fit). I still hate the texture of some jeans, but I think there is a bigger variety of washes now and the ones that aren't 100% cotton are softer.

[actuallyjessica]

I see a lot of my own personality in Alyssa, especially low-tolerance for bullshit, chaos, and overbearing family members, lol. I absolutely see her stopping at three kids max.

Me too. That's why she's my pet fundie haha. She also reminds me a lot of Mama Jane. I see why they get along so well.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

4 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

My son is 6, and he still refuses to wear anything other than "soft pants."  He hates jeans and chinos.  Tea Collection is my friend if he needs to look halfway "nice."

Love love love the tea collection. Last week a friend of mine got invited to a preview sale for the new season and everything was $10. I couldn't believe it! She bought clothes in the next three sizes... Cause... $10!!! Beautiful clothes, great company, just really really expensive for growing kids. 

[JoyfulSel]

2 hours ago, withaj said:

Ooh, I was a jeans-hating kid, too. Part of the reason is that my wardrobe from ages 5-10 was pretty much exclusively a school uniform, so I never had many "real clothes" to choose from other than shorts and t-shirts for the weekends. I have a texture "thing" and I hated denim and the stiffness of jeans. When we moved and I started at a public school without uniforms, I had to figure out what to wear. It didn't help that I was 10, 5'6" and growing, but didn't have hips yet so kids' sizes no longer fit and juniors' sizes didn't really, either. I vaguely recall  wearing a lot of ugly polyester skirts. By 11 or 12 I was in all jeans, though, since I was finally the right shape (and around 5'10" by then, so no way was a kids-sized anything going to fit). I still hate the texture of some jeans, but I think there is a bigger variety of washes now and the ones that aren't 100% cotton are softer.

Here I thought I was the only "weirdo" who didn't like jeans as a kid. I exclusively wore "soft pants" (which is also what I called them!) up until 8th grade. I just hated the feel of jeans and they were always too tight near the buttons, so I preferred sweats. My mom didn't fight me too much on it, but she got me to try jeans again in 8th grade and from then on, I've worn them. Now, I've gone up a few sizes in pants so my old jeans don't fit anymore, and I've been wearing work pants mostly, and leggings.

 

(Edit: Just wanted to say, this little conversation about pants actually made me feel better about myself; I was teased for not wearing jeans and thought I was the only one. Stupid peer pressure and bullies.)

[Ofglen]

As a kid I loved jeans and thought dresses were so uncomfortable, but for some reason when I became an adult it totally switched. I do NOT wear jeans (hard pants!!), only black leggings (almost every day) and dresses/skirts. I don't know how I grew up in such restricting hell clothing. I'm born to be freeeeeeee

Note: I have thigh and butt, but my stomach/waist/maybe even hip area is smaller so I think that influences my hatred of jeans. I always had a plumber's crack...

[withaj]

56 minutes ago, JoyfulSel said:

Here I thought I was the only "weirdo" who didn't like jeans as a kid. I exclusively wore "soft pants" (which is also what I called them!) up until 8th grade. I just hated the feel of jeans and they were always too tight near the buttons, so I preferred sweats. My mom didn't fight me too much on it, but she got me to try jeans again in 8th grade and from then on, I've worn them. Now, I've gone up a few sizes in pants so my old jeans don't fit anymore, and I've been wearing work pants mostly, and leggings.

 

(Edit: Just wanted to say, this little conversation about pants actually made me feel better about myself; I was teased for not wearing jeans and thought I was the only one. Stupid peer pressure and bullies.)

Childhood-jeans-haters unite! I was probably 100% considered a weirdo, even at private school with everyone in uniforms, and even more so as I continued through school (albeit for more reasons than clothing choice). Even when you wear jeans, there's always going to be somebody thinking you aren't wearing the "right jeans" -- adolescence is just the WORST.

[19 cats and counting]

1 hour ago, Ofglen said:

As a kid I loved jeans and thought dresses were so uncomfortable, but for some reason when I became an adult it totally switched. I do NOT wear jeans (hard pants!!), only black leggings (almost every day) and dresses/skirts. I don't know how I grew up in such restricting hell clothing. I'm born to be freeeeeeee

Note: I have thigh and butt, but my stomach/waist/maybe even hip area is smaller so I think that influences my hatred of jeans. I always had a plumber's crack...

As an adult I feel the exact opposite.  My dresses are much more comfortable than my jeans.  (I'm wearing jeans today because I feel I am putting on a few and need to wear these jeans to hold myself accountable).  You can just slip on a dress and not worry about things.

(Note-- because I don't work in an ultra formal environment, most of my dresses are 'casual' and run SML sizing so they're naturally more flexible than a pair of jeans).  (At more formal events or when dealing with VIPs, I wear a nicer dress with a blazer or a skirt with said blazer.

[JoyfulSel]

1 hour ago, withaj said:

Childhood-jeans-haters unite! I was probably 100% considered a weirdo, even at private school with everyone in uniforms, and even more so as I continued through school (albeit for more reasons than clothing choice). Even when you wear jeans, there's always going to be somebody thinking you aren't wearing the "right jeans" -- adolescence is just the WORST.

That is very very true; once I finally started wearing jeans regularly, they weren't "cool" enough for the other kids. It didn't help that I was very skinny and finding anything that fit was nearly impossible, much easier now. Don't worry though, I was also considered a weirdo for more than just clothing too! Actually LIKING to read novels, Shakespeare, etc., was always frowned upon, but thankfully once college began, all that ridiculousness was no longer important.

[trisprefect]

I really thought I was alone in not liking jeans as a kid! But then again, I was a hand-me-down-wearing kid in the 90s, so it goes without saying that the jeans I was forced into were ill-fitting af. I wore leggings all through elementary school, and only really started wearing jeans in the 6th or 7th grade. Of course, I was also an incredibly awkward preteen and didn't want to start wearing a different style of clothes because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. Better to not try to look good than to attempt looking fashionable and miss, thought 12 year old me.

[Snarkle]

I think it also matters at what point in time the main style for pants and jeans is considered.  I have had times where I loved jeans, and when I hated them, depending on the prevailing style.  When I was little it was bell bottoms (which I thankfully don't remember), then it was designer jeans in the '70s/'80s, then acid washed high-waisted jeans and Guess? jeans and the like.  I pegged my jeans in high school (folding the bottoms so they fit snugly against the ankle) because they fit better and I look better in tapered pants (there were also zippers on the ankles of Guess? jeans for the same reason).  Then I got into wearing men's Levi's (buttonfly were my favorite!) in the '90s, and then I guess Mom Jeans with high waists for a while in the late '90s.  Then flares came back (ick, bell bottoms!), then low riders.  I think I am happiest now, because I found some jeans that not only have lycra and stretch, but also are cut higher in the waist again so I don't feel in my 40s that I have plumber's crack.  Of course next year something new will come along again and I'll be unhappy again.   I will say I like the new sorts of leggings, though, and the trendy longer sweaters - great winter wear and I can even wear that combo to work with some accessories!

[mango_fandango]

For me, a problem with trousers is that i have sensitive skin, particularly on my thighs, so after a few hours my legs get itchy and I feel like I HAVE to take the trousers off. I can also be weird about skinny jeans. Some pairs I find really tight on my whole legs, to the point where it's uncomfortable wearing them, especially when I sit. I remember being in Year 8 (7th grade) and going to a friend's party in lilac skinny jeans and being uncomfortable when I sat down, and given that we went to the cinema and then to a pizza place afterwards, it was a lot of sitting. 

[AnywhereButHere]

Funny how fashion changes. When I was a kid, my mom hated us wearing jeans. They were too casual for her. I was really close to one of my aunts, and she'd take me on special outings when we visited my mom's family. She always dressed in a skirt set even when home, so my mom doubly insisted that I dress up when we went out. This one time, I was pitching a holy hell, preteen fit over wanting to wear my jeans. We were yelling, I was crying "EVERYONE is wearing pants! I'll look stupid! WHY are you making me look stupid?!!!" My aunt walks in to this mess behind my mom, stuffs my jeans under her coat and shoved me out the door. God, she was awesome.  I miss her. 

Anyway, tangent over... Jeans were always my go to, casual comfy pants. Now my 15 year old wears pajama pants at home and athletic pants everywhere else. Jeans are "uncomfortable" and saved for dress up occasions.  Actually, I should save the eye roll. I live in yoga (a/k/a grow with me) pants these days!

[picklepizzas]

13 hours ago, Denim Jumper said:

I see a lot of my own personality in Alyssa, especially low-tolerance for bullshit, chaos, and overbearing family members, lol. I absolutely see her stopping at three kids max.

I'd be surprised if she stopped at three kids, but I have a feeling she's going to have a kid every two years like clockwork. Justtt close enough that her family can't openly accuse her of preventing. 

[infooverload]

I wonder if Allyssa goes to Grandma Jane and her husband, to discuss their thoughts on marriage. Their marriage model is certainly different from what they have been exposed to. They are a Christians who raised upstanding Christian's, but didn't subscribe to quiverfull. Both had careers and from what we have seen seem to be enjoying their golden years.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 1 March 2016 at 11:20 PM, RosyDaisy said:

Lawson is a smug little asshole.

How dare you suggest that a 23 year old E list reality TV star who has been sheltered from interacting with people from different backgrounds and/or hold different beliefs and has never set foot in a school or college campus unless a football game is involved is not worthy of being considered a political expert!

[O Latin]

I don't recall if I had a jeans-hating phase as a kid, but I LOVE jeans now. In college, I developed a particular love for jeans with distinctive logos on the pockets, which led to my friends teasing me about my "tribal ass markings." I hate leggings, athletic pants, dress pants, and many skirts. It's pretty much jeans or nothing for me. I'm lol'ing about "hard pants" because I am apparently the only person in the world who likes to be covered in tight, heavy fabric. I would have been happy back in the days of corsets and layers of heavy clothes. 

The one problem I have with jeans (or any pants) is that I am so short-waisted that even super ultra low rise from the juniors department fits more like mid rise on me. Anything that's an actual mid or high rise is right up under my boobs. I really hope the high rise trend doesn't stick.

[Jana'sHairScrunchie]

This thread inspired me to watch the most recent 2 episodes of BUB and I must say, they were boring. Although honestly, I guess you could say Carlin was being bratty but to me it registered more as a teenage girl expressing her (attitude, but par for the course in terms of teenage girls) thoughts with people she feels comfortable around, even if they are "rude." Also I understand Michael's family being critical of how small their apartment is, but it's probably because they're not accustomed to a place made for less than a dozen people. There's nothing wrong with living somewhere small and modest when you're young and getting your first place. It's not a big deal, and even though I am admittedly skeptical of reality TV, it's nice to see a truly realistic situation depicted.

[RosyDaisy]

I don't consider Lawson an expert in anything.

[HermioneSparrow]

When I was a kid/teenager my mom insisted that I dressed up even at home, it was a nightmare. When she dumped my dad and I was in charge it was frump town from there lol i hated that i couldn't get dirty and play with the other kids because I would ruin my dresses. Luckily my sister was raised by me and it was all converse, leggings and comfy cute stuff she could get dirty and I plan on doing that with my future kids.

[missegeno]

I didn't notice any snark from Michael's family about the size of the apartment, but rather about how cluttered it was. Kelly Jo mentions her and Gil starting with a small place. The issue, as I understand it, was in the amount of furniture crowded into it. These are people who are used to leaving a good amount of floor room available because that's where people fit. Michael and Brandon, being only two people, can fill some of that people space with furniture and still be comfortable. But then when the crowd of people visit, it seems like too much furniture. As posters already mentioned, Michael and Brandon may agree that its too much furniture for the space but not want to get rid of things pre-Texas. Or they may like it cozy or just just not care. Regardless, her family seemed to realize the apartment would be small because it's Chicago, not rural TN. It's the furniture and use of space that they were overly opinionated about.

 

And while I'm at it,

- I don't think Brandon is creepy or controlling in the way that some commenters have noted. To me, Michael seemed happy to have some backup after a day of trying to defend her furniture to overbearing family.

- Jeans used to fit me perfectly, but now I have an athletic latina body and am shopping in british stores instead of San Francisco's Mission street. The last pair of jeans I tried on squeezed the shit out of my calves, flattened by butt, and ballooned in the front like maternity clothes for somebody with a giant crotch. I couldn't get the size 8s over my calves, but size 10 simply does not stay on my hips, being too large even for my bubble butt and held up only by the incredible tightness around my thighs. I don't think ASDA is used to people who are round in back and flat in front. Or muscular calves.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

I have an itchy skin sensitivity too. It means I have to feel the inside of anything that I buy. Jeans, shirts, sweaters, underwear, bras etc. I'm terrified of all things lace or wool.

I also tend to wear my hoodies inside out when I'm out and about around my neighborhood or running errands. I'm constantly stopped by people asking if I know my sweater is on inside out. I'm like, do I say yes I know it's a skin sensitivity, or do I just act shocked and thank them profusely for my fashion faux pax? 

Luckily my friends and family know this about me and are constantly telling me about soft clothes finds. I wear a list of leggings/jeggings. It's so normalizing to read this jean convo thread drift.  

[Pianokeeper]

43 minutes ago, missegeno said:

I didn't notice any snark from Michael's family about the size of the apartment, but rather about how cluttered it was. Kelly Jo mentions her and Gil starting with a small place. The issue, as I understand it, was in the amount of furniture crowded into it. These are people who are used to leaving a good amount of floor room available because that's where people fit. Michael and Brandon, being only two people, can fill some of that people space with furniture and still be comfortable. But then when the crowd of people visit, it seems like too much furniture. As posters already mentioned, Michael and Brandon may agree that its too much furniture for the space but not want to get rid of things pre-Texas. Or they may like it cozy or just just not care. Regardless, her family seemed to realize the apartment would be small because it's Chicago, not rural TN. It's the furniture and use of space that they were overly opinionated about.

 

And while I'm at it,

- I don't think Brandon is creepy or controlling in the way that some commenters have noted. To me, Michael seemed happy to have some backup after a day of trying to defend her furniture to overbearing family.

- Jeans used to fit me perfectly, but now I have an athletic latina body and am shopping in british stores instead of San Francisco's Mission street. The last pair of jeans I tried on squeezed the shit out of my calves, flattened by butt, and ballooned in the front like maternity clothes for somebody with a giant crotch. I couldn't get the size 8s over my calves, but size 10 simply does not stay on my hips, being too large even for my bubble butt and held up only by the incredible tightness around my thighs. I don't think ASDA is used to people who are round in back and flat in front. Or muscular calves.

I'm American-Brazilian and lived in the UK for five years. It is crazy how differently (worse, in most cases) most of the clothing fit me there! But I did find that the sizing was more consistent brand to brand than in the USA. Not much fit well, but I didn't have to try on three sizes to find out, y'know?  On the other hand, shoes seemed to be sized all over the place, with a lot more variability than American shoe sizes. 

[OnceUponATime]

19 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

I'm American-Brazilian and lived in the UK for five years. It is crazy how differently (worse, in most cases) most of the clothing fit me there! But I did find that the sizing was more consistent brand to brand than in the USA. Not much fit well, but I didn't have to try on three sizes to find out, y'know?  On the other hand, shoes seemed to be sized all over the place, with a lot more variability than American shoe sizes. 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has clothing problems in a foreign country. The worst thing I find is that one year you find a brand that fits nicely. 6 months later nothing from that brand fits. Where is the consistency?