Jill & Jessa Special, Sunday, December 20

[JenniferJuniper]

42 minutes ago, MatthewDuggar said:

I'm sorry if I missed this discussed.  Is Michael sleeping in the boys room?  He always seemed a bit clingy and that both he and Kinzie took some work to get to bed.  I wonder how the M-kids are adjusting.   Now that I think about it, it always seemed like the Howlers and Lost Girls usually just dropped off where ever and whenever, so I supposed they adopted that Duggar bedtime technique.   

They didn't say either way, but Jackson slept at least some of the time in the girls' room until he was older than Michael, either in Jana's bed or on the floor.

Michael has always been on the fearful side and appears to be Josh's favorite.  With Daddy suddenly gone, I can't seem him adapting to sleeping in a room with his much older uncles with Mommy and big sister on the opposite side of the house.

Someone asked above if they just made it look like Anna and the kids were staying in the dorm for the show.  I'd like to think that she's actually in the guest space and the Duggars just don't want to show those quarters for some reason, but it really looked like Anna had tried to make that tiny space her own. 

I get that she's a brainwashed fundie who is currently dependent on her controlling asshole of a father-in-law, but it must be a miserable situation for her (and for anyone older than Jordyn for that matter).  Boob probably also wants to make sure she's thrilled to see Josh back not only because she misses him but because her living conditions have been hellish.  Anna seems a devoted mother and clearly wanted to raise her children in a far more orderly and secure environment than the TTH, but ends up in what must seem like a fundie Twilight Zone.  Four months and counting.

[molecule]

7 hours ago, katsnookie said:

9 hours ago, doubleT said:

I also noticed how one side of Anna's face didn't move either.  Strange. 

 

 

I noticed the asymmetry in Anna's face as well. It appears as if she has bells palsy.  

That same asymmetrical thing happens with my face in one kind of situation only--when I am simultaneously processing very difficult emotions and trying to talk. It's almost like my nervous system gets so overloaded that it short-circuits.

The fact that I know how deeply broken up I am when this happens, seeing it happen with Anna really tugged on my heartstrings. 

[Alicja]

1 hour ago, PraiseDog said:

Hi FJ folks, I'm brand new here.

 I found this forum accidentally, by following the Subway scandal, then the Joshley issues, then following some link that led me to a wormhole which brought me to this alternate universe: where snark and humor rule, diverse beliefs abound, but respect and consideration are esteemed above all else,
After spending way too much of my time lurking this past weekend (including reading the guidelines) could anyone point me to an answer to this question: What is the deal about breaking some links but not others?  It seems like news sites are OK to link, peer-reviewed articles are OK as well, some blogs are OK but not others.  Some stuff posted on facebook is OK, but some comments posted on facebook are not OK,
Is it all about not wanting to send too much bandwidth to small sites?  Or linking things that are opinion but not recognized as fact? Thanks to anyone who can clue me in to the logic.
   

   

welcome to FJ!!

I don't think we do this now, but we would break links to fundie blogs because it wouldn't bring the owners back to FJ. we do it so they don't flounce.

we usually reiterate Facebook comments to protect the privacy of others.

you can email Curious if you have any more questions about board culture! we also have a community forum and a newbie forum, where you can ask any more questions

[ElegantMajesticPearls]

2 hours ago, PraiseDog said:

Hi FJ folks, I'm brand new here.

 I found this forum accidentally, by following the Subway scandal, then the Joshley issues, then following some link that led me to a wormhole which brought me to this alternate universe: where snark and humor rule, diverse beliefs abound, but respect and consideration are esteemed above all else,
After spending way too much of my time lurking this past weekend (including reading the guidelines) could anyone point me to an answer to this question: What is the deal about breaking some links but not others?  It seems like news sites are OK to link, peer-reviewed articles are OK as well, some blogs are OK but not others.  Some stuff posted on facebook is OK, but some comments posted on facebook are not OK,
Is it all about not wanting to send too much bandwidth to small sites?  Or linking things that are opinion but not recognized as fact? Thanks to anyone who can clue me in to the logic.
   

   

Before the site upgrade we had to break links but its not necessary anymore. 

[warriorblade8857]

3 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

I'm assuming they put Michael and Marcus with the boys.

Divide and conquer. Makes it harder for her to round up the kids and leave. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

8 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Why were we shown Anna fixing her hair?  Joshley's not around and OMG please don't let it be for Jim Bob.

Probably for TV but maybe she just wants to feel pretty for herself.  I don't have anyone in my life anymore and I still doll myself up everyday to look my prettiest...because of my self-esteem and wanting to look my best for MY sake.

(Of course, if it's a Saturday and I stay inside the house all day by myself, all bets are off.  The dogs love me, anyway!)

[Screamapillar]

4 hours ago, YourGodIsNotMine said:

I'm not saying this lightly. I truly believe Ben is a stoner. In the talking heads, he often had that faraway look when Jessa is speaking and he thinks the camera is not on himself. When he speaks, he can't form a coherent thought.   He also is friends with former drug users. 

 

I know this had been discussed a lot, but these latest episodes really cement that belief for me. There is less editing of the taking heads and different camera angles than previously, and his being stoned is not edited out. 

If Jessa is anywhere near as clingy with Ben as Jill is with Derick, I don't see how he would have the opportunity to be a stoner, unless Jessa is ok with it, which I doubt she would be. Ben would have to tell her that he's going out to work and then hide out somewhere smoking. But since Ben's "work" is running errands for Jim Bob, as enmeshed as the Duggar clan is, it would quickly get back to Jessa from someone that Ben wasn't actually doing something for Jim Bob at a time when he told her he was.

I just don't think Ben is particularly bright or articulate. And he's super awkward on camera, which compounds his issues. But I also think he's hyper aware of the spotlight, and is trying too hard to cultivate a persona. It's just that sideways hat wearing stoner preacher man child is not a persona that's likely to sell well to the audience. 

[LaParisienne]

I just watched the show. I don't know if it's because i'm not used to tv reality show but they all seem to be actors. Fake tears, fake sadness, fake fake fake everything. It's really hard to watch, at least for me and I felt embarassed for them. Fortunatly, I don't understand all what they said, I'll be probably sick by now!!

The worst was Jill. Couldn't she pretend crying better? It was really embarassing. 

Anyway, I really hope TLC will stop this "shit", enough is enough.

[lascuba]

11 hours ago, Buzzard said:

OK, so lets talk realistically here.  Whats left?  Besides the spurge thats all they've got.  They can milk an hour out of Jessa's labor, birth, transport etc... but Anna has already blown the speculation that she may/may not leave smuggles.  She should have waffled a little.  I just cant see a series out of this.  I was bored during the interesting parts!

Josh coming back and rebuilding his family, that's what's next. They certainly set that up with Anna going on about how much she missed him.

[2manyKidzzz]

The only reason Anna can do her hair in such detail is because of the J'slaves taking care of the older three. Come on......Don't get me wrong I have tons of sympathy for sweet Anna, but my hair was in a ponytail with just two littles. 

[quiversR4hunting]

So wow. I actually watched it last night and my husband watched too. He was asking names - I kept saying BinBob for Ben. I finally told him for now on I'm not correcting myself, just know BinBob is Ben.

I feel so bad for Anna. She seems so stuck. I can't image knowing I have no skills to earn money, don't know how to be on my own and no support of parents and in-laws would (most likely) make her feel more stuck. I know she has offers from her brother but that isn't who is in her face all the time and the inlaws and parents probably have drilled it into her that he is a heathen, worse than the catholics!  I can't image the emotions Anna has gone through. I don't think I would ever be able to stay with a man that molested kids. Infidelity could be forgiven but it would take years of therapy and work on his part. I don't know if I would ever trust him again since the Ashley Madison site had been going on for a long time. The lack of trust is what would kill most marriages in this situation.

As for showing her in the girls dorm and maybe that was just staging for the show, I doubt it, I bet that is where she is at since her clothes are right there on a rack. So if she is in Jana's bed, where is Jana? As for the guest suite, the guest suite in the house is occupied by grandma duggar. She would need to have the storage room guest suite (Ben's former digs) or one of their rental homes.

5 minutes ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

The only reason Anna can do her hair in such detail is because of the J'slaves taking care of the older three. Come on......Don't get me wrong I have tons of sympathy for sweet Anna, but my hair was in a ponytail with just two littles. 

you are so right! If not taking care of them, at least entertaining them.

[2manyKidzzz]

If they do have access to the big house Jill and Dill are in in the special, I'm guessing Anna is in the TTH because she has four children and she is alone. So, all of the help helps with her stress level.......people preparing meals for and entertaining the cute M'kids. And they are cute. It would be very hard for her to be "alone" with the four kids considering the stress she is under. All of this makes me very tired of organized religion. People need to learn how to be kind without all of  this controlling baggage/misogyny.

[nst]

42 minutes ago, Screamapillar said:

If Jessa is anywhere near as clingy with Ben as Jill is with Derick, 

 

Well after reflection over sleep.

this show is truly over. Derick and Jill are as boring as two people can get. They could never carry a show. 

ben has a personality of a wet mop. And that is coming from me lol.

he tries to hard in his scenes, he is just not that interesting.  And those "games" were staged so the couple could win. 

and the talking heads were painful

show me jessa in labour and it's done 

[princessmahina]

I'm not a leghumper, but I'll admit to tearing up a little when Anna was talking. She's in a rough situation. 

The other two were boring as hell. Jessa and Ben eating pie in a park? Really?

[Pretzel]

You can give me the hard treatment if you want, but I feel really, really sorry for Anna. She seemed so heartbroken, and desperate for the whole ordeal to be over with. She deserves so much better than that douchecanoe, but I'm convinced she's really taking those vows seriously. As someone else said, she seems to think that they, Josh in particular, have let down the entire Christian community. 

I actually don't know whether to pity her for the naivety or admire her for the devoutness. 

[Nonyabznoch]

If you ask me, Josh should have been left to care for 4 kids with no help while Anna got to go for "cultural emersion" someplace tropical.  It pisses me off to no end that he gets tucked away from the spotlight and consequences while his poor wife is raising 4 kids and has been reduced to living in the tth bunkhouse.  Joshy boy gets to focus on his favorite thing: Josh and Anna takes care of everything else 

[quiversR4hunting]

11 minutes ago, Nonyabznoch said:

If you ask me, Josh should have been left to care for 4 kids with no help while Anna got to go for "cultural emersion" someplace tropical.  It pisses me off to no end that he gets tucked away from the spotlight and consequences while his poor wife is raising 4 kids and has been reduced to living in the tth bunkhouse.  Joshy boy gets to focus on his favorite thing: Josh and Anna takes care of everything else 

THIS!!! YES!!! I was telling my husband last night that Joshy doesn't have to deal with anything - Anna is the one in public. My hubs totally agreed that Joshy put her in a horrible situation and has to deal with all the backlash.

[nst]

29 minutes ago, Pretzel said:

You can give me the hard treatment if you want, but I feel really, really sorry for Anna. She seemed so heartbroken, and desperate for the whole ordeal to be over with. She deserves so much better than that douchecanoe, but I'm convinced she's really taking those vows seriously. As someone else said, she seems to think that they, Josh in particular, have let down the entire Christian community. 

I actually don't know whether to pity her for the naivety or admire her for the devoutness. 

Of course she thinks they let down an entire Christian community.  Isn't that what they are taught endlessly, you have to be perfect, you have to show the world, it goes hand in hand with her abortion quotes etc.

she is setting herself up for more damination. She lives for it as well.

she is so brainwashed it's sick.

and the fact the two wives were like we are married we feel bad was so contrived. 

They didn't marry their brother . There was a history there hello!

[Swamptribe]

So, she knew, she knew everything about his molesting five little girls BEFORE she married him.  She knew he admitted to having a problem with porn before she married him.  (hence, why his first courtship broke up.  Wow, that young lady dodged a bullet) I have completely lost any sympathy I may have had for Anna.  She married a known child molester and perv.  She had children with a guy who stalked and sexually molested his own sisters.   She knew exactly what she was getting into.  Now Joshua is hiding behind her skirts, and the skirts of the very sisters he molested.  She is reaping what she has sown.  I do still feel sympathy for the children,  I hope CPS watches that situation very very carefully.  Because their own family sure can't be trusted with their welfare.

[ViolaSebastian]

RE: Anna's face lacking expression on both sides, it's not unheard of for people suffering from severe anxiety/stress/depression to have facial numbness.  It can happen on its own or it can be the result of certain medications.  When my depression was at its worst, the entire right side of my face was almost immobile.  Not trying to diagnose her over the internet with anything, just that a mental health issue could be one of any number of causes for it.  

[slickcat79]

I don't really see a problem with Anna going "home" to NWA to be with the Duggars. She lived there for several years before she moved to DC, and probably got used to being around them with a young family. Certainly they have more space and more hands for helping than the Kellers, whether she would have been welcome with her parents or not. And honestly...I really think JB&M owe her.

Josh is responsible for his own actions, but his parents are part of the reason he is the way he is. They raised him to be a headship, and he failed his wife and kids in pretty much every way you can. Anna was supposed to cleave to him, and she did everything "right"...if he can't be trusted, his family should step up. And assuming Anna did know about the molestation before they married, she took a bullet for JB&M by continuing with the courtship instead of running and telling the story to anyone who would listen. It seems more like JB is keeping her under the Duggar thumb by "force", but I hope she is exacting some heavy bribes behind the scenes. 

I canNOT believe, though, that they have to stay in the girls' dorm. Mary and JB are real estate investors, FFS. Surely they would be able to find some property nearby that they could stay in and have some peace and privacy. If Anna needs help with the kids, send a J'slave or 2 to stay with her...the rest of the Duggar kids can't need much day-to-day help at this point. I definitely don't think Anna likes the living arrangements, regardless of what she said. They didn't even show her face when she talked about staying in the girls' room because I doubt she was keeping sweet. You could hear it in her voice. Hopefully the kids are liking it though...I'm sure Kynzie loves getting to hang out with Jordyn and Josie, and I'm sure Michael likes being with his older uncles.

[OnceUponATime]

2 hours ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

If they do have access to the big house Jill and Dill are in in the special, I'm guessing Anna is in the TTH because she has four children and she is alone. So, all of the help helps with her stress level.......people preparing meals for and entertaining the cute M'kids. And they are cute. It would be very hard for her to be "alone" with the four kids considering the stress she is under. All of this makes me very tired of organized religion. People need to learn how to be kind without all of  this controlling baggage/misogyny.

I'm guessing it's also because if she was really on her own (in a rental/the big house/wherever) she might start realizing she can do it and it just wouldn't be right for a woman to realize they don't need a man around to be able to run a household day and night. *sigh*

[Imrlgoddess]

Damn damn damn. I completely missed it. Opted to go out & get drunk instead. 

[MisUndrstd]

I really would not speculate on Ben's use of anything illegal, I think you get into dangerous territory about suggesting something like that.  Plus, it is unfair to Ben, since there is no proof of anything.  Personally, I think Ben is very uncomfortable in front of the   camera, he has never been articulate before.  Now we are just seeing more of Ben and  it has hit us like a lead brick that Ben is not much of a public speaker and in his case silence is golden, let's hope Jessa and TLC can convince him to be a man of few words for the viewing public's sake.  I actually think Jessa and Ben would be more exciting as a couple if Jessa spoke and Ben just nodded in silent agreement with her.  Then we could snark on the fact that Jessa in fact wears the pants in the relationship (irony at it's finest), which in fact she actually does.  JB and Michelle's plan to make their daughters submissive for their husbands totally backfired with Jessa, she rules the roost, I guarantee it. 

[ViolaSebastian]

17 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Damn damn damn. I completely missed it. Opted to go out & get drunk instead. 

It's okay, you made the right choice.  

14 minutes ago, MisUndrstd said:

I really would not speculate on Ben's use of anything illegal, I think you get into dangerous territory about suggesting something like that.  Plus, it is unfair to Ben, since there is no proof of anything.  Personally, I think Ben is very uncomfortable in front of the   camera, he has never been articulate before.  Now we are just seeing more of Ben and  it has hit us like a lead brick that Ben is not much of a public speaker and in his case silence is golden, let's hope Jessa and TLC can convince him to be a man of few words for the viewing public's sake.  I actually think Jessa and Ben would be more exciting as a couple if Jessa spoke and Ben just nodded in silent agreement with her.  Then we could snark on the fact that Jessa in fact wears the pants in the relationship (irony at it's finest), which in fact she actually does.  JB and Michelle's plan to make their daughters submissive for their husbands totally backfired with Jessa, she rules the roost, I guarantee it. 

The fact that Ben is pursuing a career that is basically 24/7 public speaking in the form of sermons, prayers, eulogies, services, baptisms, etc. is completely beyond me.  Every clergy member that I've ever encountered has had to be somewhat skilled at expository speaking and impromptu speeches that sound polished even though they were asked to "say a few words" at dinner with no preparation.  I can just picture him giving a eulogy now: "So....um...Morty was um...*sniffle* a good guy and stuff..."  That no one has sat him down and said "You know, maybe you should join Toastmasters or take a public speaking course at community college" is bewildering.