Bringing Up Bates

[nelliebelle1197]

Brandon wasn't what I expected at all-he came off as dorky and awkward and gave me a David Waller-esque vibe. Michael seems happy though,so good for her. She's truly very pretty-she always was attractive,but seemed much more insecure before.

That is exactly what I said about Brandon two or three pages ago! I am glad you saw it too! :dance: :dance: :lol: :D

[Eternalbluepearl]

So happy michael and Brandon are so in love. The Bateses are finding wonderful partners. I do think Kelly Bates is very involved with her kids and seems to know them well. Michelle gave all that over to buddy teams years ago.

[eh02]

Brandon didn't especially give me a great impression, and knowing he will be working for IBLP definitely isn't helping that much either, but Michael does seem happy. Hopefully it stays that way.

This has probably been discussed before, and maybe I missed it, but I watched the second episode last night and was really thinking it was unusual that Alyssa has almost none of the accent the rest of her family does. Every one of them has a pretty strong Tennessee drawl except Alyssa. I wonder if she "corrects" it intentionally?

[Finduilas]

Has anyone found a link to watch the second episode online yet ? (or did I miss it in the previous pages? )

[19 cats and counting]

Brandon wasn't what I expected at all-he came off as dorky and awkward and gave me a David Waller-esque vibe. Michael seems happy though,so good for her. She's truly very pretty-she always was attractive,but seemed much more insecure before.

Does anyone here know much about Brandon's family? I will admit from the pictures of the two of them together, I find them absolutely adorable.

But I also fear for her if he's a David Waller type. I can remember seeing Priscilla on the early Duggar episodes helping out around the house, and she's completely different and seemed so much happier than she does now. I almost feel there's something missing from her now that I didn't see then. I don't want that to happen to Michael(la) because honestly she deserves better.

(I haven't watched the episode, I will when it's on YouTube).

[HereticHick]

We had a lengthy discussion about the Keilen family a while back when he started courting Mike.

By the way, Kelly posted this on their blog yesterday in response to a question about her childrens' jobs:

"Bates Family

Posted at 18:37h, 12 January Reply

Dear Debbie,

Yes, several have jobs. When Zach was younger, he began working as a framer. He currently is a sheriff’s deputy and a county commissioner. Michael has a full time job as a nanny. Erin teaches piano. Lawson owns a mowing company. Nathan does tree work. Alyssa worked in a flower shop before getting married, but is currently preparing to be a mommy. We pay Tori to help with the siblings schoolwork. She also babysits part time and is a full time college student. Trace helps with the tree business. Yes, bills can be very high, so we try to be frugal. Love, Kelly"

Its a shame that the Duggars can't seem to grasp the concept of "full time college student" even at a biblethumping college. Eh, Ben?

[19 cats and counting]

Thanks. Fairly new here so I'll have to find the thread because I want to know more about him and his family.

I actually like the Bates family. As much as I disagree with their views, they sound like very nice people. And I really like that they actually let their kids grow up (married or not), attend college (ok it's an unaccredited Bible college, but it is better than College Minus), work out of the home/family business, and set their own courtship rules (I believe JB and Michelle are lying when they say that because all 3 of the Duggar courtships had the same rules). They evolve (see the girls' clothes) and learn from their mistakes (Zach's failed courtship). I just can't see the Bates having a 25 yo at home with no job or courtship on the horizon.

A friend of mine sent them a Christmas card and they wrote back to her. She's also friends with Erin on Instagram and has been mentioned in her comments.

[PennySycamore]

Brandon didn't especially give me a great impression, and knowing he will be working for IBLP definitely isn't helping that much either, but Michael does seem happy. Hopefully it stays that way.

This has probably been discussed before, and maybe I missed it, but I watched the second episode last night and was really thinking it was unusual that Alyssa has almost none of the accent the rest of her family does. Every one of them has a pretty strong Tennessee drawl except Alyssa. I wonder if she "corrects" it intentionally?

Does John Webster have much (any?) Southern accent? Maybe the Tennessee in Alyssa's voice has been softened since her marriage to a guy with less of the South in his voice.

[Sundaymorning]

Why are the Duggars so anti-college when even the Bates (who are heavily affiliated with ATI, Gil is on the board of diractors after all) let their children go to colleges? I mean sure, those aren't real ones, but still, better than nothing.

[19 cats and counting]

Does John Webster have much (any?) Southern accent? Maybe the Tennessee in Alyssa's voice has been softened since her marriage to a guy with less of the South in his voice.

I've lived in 6 states in the last 4 years due to my job. Even though I don't have much of an accent (despite being from NY), I can turn on and off accents and pick them up rather fast due to surroundings (and asking locals which words I *absolutely* have to pronounce the local way). Perhaps this is also true with Alyssa.

(Oddly enough, the only time I have any bit of a NY accent, which was corrected out of me as a child, is when I've had a few too many drinks. I doubt this would happen with Alyssa).

[eh02]

Does John Webster have much (any?) Southern accent? Maybe the Tennessee in Alyssa's voice has been softened since her marriage to a guy with less of the South in his voice.

I don't think he does. It's possible (but doubtful IMO) that your accent would change so dramatically in such a short time just by being around someone new. I think it must be intentional. Maybe she wants to distance herself from the country fundie lifestyle? Her family has very strong, dramatic southern Appalachian accents. It's more than just drifting in and out of an accent, which is very common and normal.

I think Alyssa is smart. She has kind of a spark in her eye like there's more going on in her head than she lets on, which not many fundie women have. Not that I expect she's going to make a run for it, but I do think she won't be fundie. I see her and her husband being savvy enough to try to push him into politics or something similar.

[amster]

I don't think he does. It's possible (but doubtful IMO) that your accent would change so dramatically in such a short time just by being around someone new. I think it must be intentional. Maybe she wants to distance herself from the country fundie lifestyle? Her family has very strong, dramatic southern Appalachian accents. It's more than just drifting in and out of an accent, which is very common and normal.

I think Alyssa is smart. She has kind of a spark in her eye like there's more going on in her head than she lets on, which not many fundie women have. Not that I expect she's going to make a run for it, but I do think she won't be fundie. I see her and her husband being savvy enough to try to push him into politics or something similar.

Hmm, I think it could be possible.

I once spent 6 months in Europe, mainly living in London. When I came back to Sydney, I called a friend from work (who was from Manchester) and she didn't know it was me on the phone, she thought it was a prank call and someone was mocking her. I couldn't hear the accent at all, but several people swore that my accent hand changed in the time I was away. The Australian accent grated painfully when I got home. I couldn't watch TV for several weeks when I got home because it was so bad!

I think if Alyssa wanted it to, her accent could definitely change that quickly. And coming home after that time, her family probably sounds pretty annoying to her!

[nelliebelle1197]

I don't think he does. It's possible (but doubtful IMO) that your accent would change so dramatically in such a short time just by being around someone new. I think it must be intentional. Maybe she wants to distance herself from the country fundie lifestyle? Her family has very strong, dramatic southern Appalachian accents. It's more than just drifting in and out of an accent, which is very common and normal.

I think Alyssa is smart. She has kind of a spark in her eye like there's more going on in her head than she lets on, which not many fundie women have. Not that I expect she's going to make a run for it, but I do think she won't be fundie. I see her and her husband being savvy enough to try to push him into politics or something similar.

Alyssa's father in law in a looney fundie and he is a US Congressman. There is apparently plenty of room for their kind in politics.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

I haven't been able to find it online yet, sorry.

[Majessasticpearls]

Glad some others saw it too! Even my mom caught on to it. Who knows however,he may just be awkward,especially next to chad,who seems to be very spoken and calm, and John,who just doesn't come off like Brandon does.

I see that sparkle in Alyssa's eyes too. She's different from the other Bates girls,very analytical and matter of fact. Spunky too,just in a different way from Tori and the other louder sisters.

[RosyDaisy]

I have a feeling that the young adult fundies have kissed a few toads. After Zach and Whitney's confession, I am absolutely convinced none of them are as pure as they claim. Good for them! It's their life, and they should be allowed the freedom to date (not court) whoever they please. Screw the parents and their fucked up rules.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Why are the Duggars so anti-college when even the Bates (who are heavily affiliated with ATI, Gil is on the board of diractors after all) let their children go to colleges? I mean sure, those aren't real ones, but still, better than nothing.

I suspect it isn't so much about ATI/Gothard but more about Jim Bob's ego-- he doesn't want his kids to be better educated than he is, nor does he want to lose control of them-- as well as Michelle's inability to keep her own house and care for her own children.

[snickerz]

Michael has a full time job as a nanny.

No, actually Michael has a part time job as a nanny. The family she babysits for, the mother works only 2-3 days per week, as a nurse. They are a family in their church. If Michael's off a-courtin' then one of the other Bates girls is plugged in in her place.

[LittleOleMe]

I finally saw the second episode (apparently it's on demand for me so I'm able to watch it - who knew?).

A few things: I really didn't see anything wrong with Brandon's "You're a good liar" comment. He wasn't being an asshole or anything; he was kidding because he never expected to see her for his birthday and she was able to get around not actually telling him without lying to him. And really, doing that for someone, is a really fun challenge. I've done that myself. He also wasn't expecting to be in front of a camera. I would assume, based on the buffering and the "record" in the corner, it wasn't an UP camera with a cameraman. It was probably just a friend with a normal video camera. So when he said something like "go away now" and put his hand in front of the camera, it was likely to someone he knew. I also got the vibe that he was just playing around with that person as well. He seems like a nice guy who was just caught off guard. Michaella (as they are spelling it on the show) is clearly head over heals in love with this guy. I just hope that feeling is mutual. She obviously expects a proposal shortly after he graduates.

Whitney is beyond adorable and I really like her. A lot. She just doesn't seem to have that fake smile or forced happiness. She seems genuinely happy with her life and that's awesome. Good for her. I'm really happy that they are branching out in their own lives and making their own rules. They aren't afraid to say "I love you mom and dad, but we're going to do some things differently." That's awesome. And the kissing before marriage? It still seems ridiculous that they even felt the need to tell anyone (i.e. his parents) but whatever. It obviously didn't anger god that much if they celebrated their first wedding anniversary with Bradley - the cutest baby ever.

Erin really does seem to miss the chaos of her parents' house. But I'm glad she's close enough that she can have her siblings over. I like that she has just a few a time so they can get some personalized attention. I'm sure she understands the need for that and she's taking care of it rather well. Good for her. I'm also glad she got some answers for her miscarriages. Hopefully it helps her. Chad is so incredibly supportive of her. He really seems like someone who actually respects his wife, unlike Josh who still comes across as a pompous ass in his TH.

Alyssa is one of the most honest. I like that Zach said he wasn't sure about being Dad and Whitney was all "He's going to be great". But I think it took a bit more courage (from their strange cultural perspective) for Alyssa to say that the number of children she could handle changes daily depending on whose kids she's watching. That's really taking the whole "god only gives you what you can handle" and throwing it out the window. Good for her. I really hope if she ends up with three kids in four years and realizes that she can't handle another right now, she will opt for NFP. Based on what she said, it seems like a plausible reality.

I also really enjoyed how the boys talked about missing Alyssa because she was such a good cook, and now that it's just her and John she doesn't cook as much because it's just two people. "Who cooks two chicken breasts?" :lol: The siblings all seem to actually love and care for another. They seem to actually respect each other and know each other. I know the Bateses are just as fucked up as the Duggars in their belief system, but as a family dynamic, they are so much better than the Duggars. The kids all have personalities and they all have lives and hobbies. I don't think I've ever heard a Duggar say something like "Jana is the best cook. When she gets married she needs to live close by because I can live without her amazing dishes". I think the only thing I've heard them say is how Jessa needed to learn to cook and that they needed to get cookbooks for Erin because she was terrible, which was really rude btw. And that meal Erin made with her siblings looked fantastic.

Gil and Kelly are also much more lax with their kids in general. I agree with a previous poster that JB doesn't allow college because it would mean his kids could potentially be smarter than he is and start questioning some of their business practices. "Well, actually, owning a used car lot isn't that profitable. After taking some business courses, I've discovered that X is a much better idea" "Your business model is flawed, but I have some ways to fix it and make it more profitable". While I think JB would find it insulting to have an adult child try to help with some of those things, I think Gil would welcome the fresh eyes and young mind.

Michaella said her families hugs everyone and I really like that. She had no problem hugging Brandon like an actual human being. Yet another thing that makes the Bateses much more likable than the Duggars.

Lastly, I think one thing that really helps the Bateses image are the TH. They aren't against a coloured background, like the Duggars. They're actually set in their homes with their own furniture. The ones talking actually look comfortable and relaxed, like they sat down to read a book or watch TV and a camera guy just popped up and said "hey, can we talk?" It just looks more natural. Also, I don't think I've ever seen JB and J'chelle do a TH together. Maybe I missed it, but have they ever done one together? Gil and Kelly do theirs together and I think that really helps. Their method of doing the TH on their own furniture in their house without some screen behind them, really makes them seem more real and more involved. I'm not sure how exactly, but they just don't' look as fake.

[eh02]

I have a feeling that the young adult fundies have kissed a few toads. After Zach and Whitney's confession, I am absolutely convinced none of them are as pure as they claim. Good for them! It's their life, and they should be allowed the freedom to date (not court) whoever they please. Screw the parents and their fucked up rules.

Have they ever said if Alyssa waited for the wedding for her first kiss? I didn't see her wedding special - did they talk about it at all?

I noticed they didn't mention her on that episode. Zach talked about how he and Whitney kissed, then Erin said she waited, but no TH from Alyssa on that front. Hmm...

[singsingsing]

It's kind of a gigantic leap in logic to assume that because one couple kissed before they were married and admitted it, NONE of them are as pure as they claim.

[formergothardite]

Thanks. Fairly new here so I'll have to find the thread because I want to know more about him and his family.

I actually like the Bates family. As much as I disagree with their views, they sound like very nice people. And I really like that they actually let their kids grow up (married or not), attend college (ok it's an unaccredited Bible college, but it is better than College Minus), work out of the home/family business, and set their own courtship rules (I believe JB and Michelle are lying when they say that because all 3 of the Duggar courtships had the same rules). They evolve (see the girls' clothes) and learn from their mistakes (Zach's failed courtship). I just can't see the Bates having a 25 yo at home with no job or courtship on the horizon.

A friend of mine sent them a Christmas card and they wrote back to her. She's also friends with Erin on Instagram and has been mentioned in her comments.

I have no doubt that the children are be nice people, but this is in spite of their parents, not because of them. Nice people can remember the names of their children(which I will give Michelle credit, she does seem to be able to name all her kids, unlike Kelly). Nice people also don't help protect a person like Bill Gothard. Do not be fooled by the sweet façade, Gil and Kelly are not nice people, they just are very, very good at making people think they are.

I think that without the TLC money there would be more Duggar children in college. The Bates are poor and with a dad who is a professional grifter, they really don't have any option except to let their kids work in ATI approved jobs, go to college and help find them spouses as soon as possible.

The Duggars have also evolved in their clothes and I bet if they had had a public courtship that failed like Zach's first one they would have changed how they did things.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

No, actually Michael has a part time job as a nanny. The family she babysits for, the mother works only 2-3 days per week, as a nurse. They are a family in their church. If Michael's off a-courtin' then one of the other Bates girls is plugged in in her place.

I know a lot of nurses who have nannies 2-3 times a week, but the hours come out to be full time because of the hours a nurse is required to work.

[HereticHick]

I know a lot of nurses who have nannies 2-3 times a week, but the hours come out to be full time because of the hours a nurse is required to work.

In Bringing Up Bates episode one, in a cooking scene, Whitney asked if Michael was around, and they said "no, she's gone 4 days a week"-- which could be nanny job + community college classes.

Either way, its better than any of the J'Slaves are currently doing!

[nolongerIFBx]

I know a lot of nurses who have nannies 2-3 times a week, but the hours come out to be full time because of the hours a nurse is required to work.

Yep- have a friend who works 3- 12 hour night shifts on weekends and she is considered full time.