Bringing Up Bates

[nelliebelle1197]

So let me get this straight. In one breath you say that if you were Alyssa you would be mortified to come home to these country bumpkins, that you'd only be able to stand seeing them once a year and that you know that's an elitist attitude - yet you're the one criticizing Alyssa for being stuck up? :shock:

You are making some truly incredibly assumptions based on a few minutes of heavily edited TV footage, and your denouncement of Alyssa's supposed arrogance is truly hypocritical given your previous paragraph in which claim that you agree with her and would probably have the same attitude you perceive she does if you were in her position... What the heck?

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Alyssa has what is known as a resting bitch face. January Jones has one. I think I have one when I am not paying attention. It means absolutely nothing about anything to do with character and everything to do with how your face is made. It is easy for people to think your aren't nice when you have the curse of the Resting Bitch Face.

[Firiel]

So true. I have RBF unless I make a serious effort not to. It's very hard, I'm very friendly, so it bothers me to come across as snobby. My best friend has it even worse than I do. And she is tiny and beautiful so it's really bad for her. People she think she's a stuck- up witch until they talk to her, poor thing.

Even with the kiddos on the couch, I didn't think Alyssa seemed annoyed or uncomfortable, just a quieter and more reserved gal than the others.

[HereticHick]

oh Hell yes, NellieBelle--Unto Us A Troll Has Been Given

[moreorlessnu]

Alyssa almost seemed embarrassed when she announced her pregnancy to her family. She seemed to avoid looking them in the eyes. I wonder if that was a difficult moment for her because (even though she's married), it's proof that she's had sex. Even though it's "legal" for her to have sex now that she's married, it might still be difficult for her to make that switch in her head, especially w/ regard to her parents.

I never got the feeling that Alyssa liked crowds. There was one episode when the Duggars showed up, and Alyssa was doing the cooking. It looked like she was putting quesadillas in a crock pot to keep them warm. She was harried, stressed out and almost snapping at her sisters. It was the first time I remember seeing a Duggar or Bates family member get snappy. But then, having to cook for 40-ish people is enough to make anyone snappy.

I like Alyssa. I like her independence. I'm not wild about her nasally voice.

[lascuba]

ITA about Alyssa. I really do not understand people acting like she's cold, "stuck up," or a bitch. Seriously people? FJ of all places should not be criticizing her for wanting the things we loathe fundies for denying their children. Who could blame the girl for wanting to get the hell out of that house?! And how are people hating on her for having some spunk and independence? Alyssa is almost shockingly confident for a fundie woman. I admire that in her, because I'm honestly not sure where she got it from. She seems like someone who knows what she wants.

[TVR]

Huh. Back in July she had a very busy schedule, judging by this blog post of Chad's: chadsperspective.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/spring-and-summer-months.html?m=1

Being busy doesn't preclude loneliness, of course, but the list does include things like spending time with her sisters and teaching piano lessons. Does she still do those things? Or is it not enough social interaction after 23 years in a packed house?

[fabkiwi06]

I think the biggest difference between the Bates and Duggars is that the Bates kids seem like they get options. The adult kids who have left have more flexibility in their lifestyles... they are living lives based on their choosing... they have some education and vocation options. They have their beliefs, which I'm not crazy about, but they actually seem to practice what they preach and not just use it as a "holier than thou" crutch (although they also have their moments).

[Idolatry]

Michael was surprising Brandon for his birthday this episode and his birthday is Sept 15th. So perhaps it was filmed around then. (Not that you can believe a reality show following dates.)

[Bubblewand]

All I could think while watching this episode is "what do they do all freaking day". Both girls admitted to being bored. I totally understand them being committed to staying home once they have babies, but in the meantime, volunteer maybe? Something! A healthy 20 something young woman should never be bored all day.

I find that to be selfish and lazy to not contribute in some way, hidden under some bullcrap Jesus wants me home ideal.

[fabkiwi06]

I think the "bored" bit might be part of a potential story line so they can try "new things" for the show.

[VelociRapture]

I respect that the poster asking if they might have lied about Zach and Whitney's kissing before marriage was playing devil's advocate, but come on.

[nolongerIFBx]

As I'm watching this show, I notice such a STARK difference between the Bates and Duggars. I feel like none of the Duggar kids ever go off script. It's constant parroting of Gothardisms and whatever JChelle and JBoob want them to say. The Bates kids actually have personalities and original thoughts. So there's that.

[doubleT]

If Erin's reality TV storyline is three miscarriages, shouldn't she have mentioned the THREE miscarriages??? :wtf:

[Closed Womb]

Even if they filmed in September, the timing is really, really tight for two more miscarriages after a March D&C, if that's even physically possible. I guess all things are possible through our savior.

If Erin's reality TV storyline is three miscarriages, shouldn't she have mentioned the THREE miscarriages??? :wtf:

[pega127]

I like the Bates family and am happy they have a new show. They just appear to be more upbeat and honest than the Duggars. Zach admission on film of kissing before marriage was a brave statement; the type of honesty the Bateses are not afraid of sharing!

[Alexa]

I am hoping that because of Erin's medical issues that she doesn't have to suffer 20 plus miscarriages in her life and that her and Chad will be happy with a couple of kids instead of putting Erin's body through trying to conceive until menopause. I wonder if IVF is possible for her? She could potentially end up with triplets or more. Off to Google.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I am hoping that because of Erin's medical issues that she doesn't have to suffer 20 plus miscarriages in her life and that her and Chad will be happy with a couple of kids instead of putting Erin's body through trying to conceive until menopause. I wonder if IVF is possible for her? She could potentially end up with triplets or more. Off to Google.

I don't think IVF would help. She has a blood clotting disorder which is affecting her ability to stay pregnant, so I am presuming sperm meets egg and implants works fine, its just staying pregnant that is the problem. It seems like pregnancies and deliveries would be fairly high risk, from the link someone posted about her condition. Triplets would be a bad idea.

I hope she doesn't end up being forced to have loads of miscarriages for her whole life, or even be quiverfull and have back to back pregnancies, as it doesn't seem like a good idea. I don't think Chad would want that. Chad absolutely adores Erin, and there is no way he would put religion over Erin's life, or force her having constant miscarriages. I think most fundie guys would not care about this but Chad seems really nice, and if they only managed one kid, he would not have a problem with that if the alternative was for bad things to happen to Erin.

[Boogalou]

I am just now getting around to watching episode 1 now. First of all, I find it interesting that Kelly-the-other-who-is-way-more-involved-with-her-kids-than-Michelle is not the one who is homeschooling her kids, Michael is. I almost laughed out loud when Kelly and Gil were talking about their kids getting married. They said Alyssa married John Webster, Erin married Chad Paine, and Zach married Whitney. Why doesn't Whitney get a last name?

Yay for stereotypical gender roles! There were only ever females in the kitchen.

Tori cracks me up.

This show uses a lot more music than the Duggars to set the tone and pull on your emotions.

Also, I don't see Alyssa saying she wants a smaller family. She said she doesn't know if she can handle 20 but she was willing to try. Time will tell I guess.

And that's it. I'm eagerly awaiting the episode where they go to the dentist.

[Mama Mia]

Even if they filmed in September, the timing is really, really tight for two more miscarriages after a March D&C, if that's even physically possible. I guess all things are possible through our savior.

If Erin's reality TV storyline is three miscarriages, shouldn't she have mentioned the THREE miscarriages??? :wtf:

I don't know why people would assume the March miscarriage was the first one. She was married several months prior, she easily could have had an early miscarriage prior to the March one. They might not have disclosed the others because the pregnancies weren't public knowledge, she may not even have been to her first prenatal visit yet. The miscarriage that required medical intervention would need to be acknowledged, because they are public people and it's a distinct possibility that someone who saw her would have posted it without their permission.

Oh, and your snarky line about " all things being possible through our savior"-- regarding having multiple miscarriages, in what you feel is too short a time period --- that's appallingly disgusting.

[singsingsing]

From everything they've all said, and the way Erin and Chad have spoken about it, it seems almost certain that the March miscarriage was the first. That still leaves plenty of time for two more miscarriages to happen before the end of the year. I know people want to believe that every single thing the Bateses/Duggars do and say is a lie and a conspiracy, but do the math. Three miscarriages from March to December is 100% possible, and Erin is far from the only woman to experience that number of miscarriages in that period of time. It seems like she's quite fertile but unable to sustain a pregnancy - and that has apparently been confirmed now with her test results.

[Dandruff]

I'm wondering how Erin's diagnoses fit within the fundie belief system (children are a blessing, Jesus opens the womb, infertility can be caused by sin, etc.). Does having a genetic condition remove the impression some may have had that Chad & Erin weren't being blessed for a spiritual reason? Would they accept that Erin's inheritance of faulty genes was just luck of the draw?

I'm glad that Chad & Erin have hope of successful treatment and hope they can comfortably accept whatever the outcome is.

[Eternalbluepearl]

So I watched the Bateses last night and noticed something. In one of the talking head parts featuring Erin And Chad, Erin was wearing motion sickness bands on her wrists. I wonder if she's suffering from morning sickness?

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

That's very true. Don't get me wrong, they seem like lovely kids. But if I was coming home after living with the son of a Congressman and being around his family, I would be mortified to come home to these country bumpkins....I know that is a socially elitist thing to say, but come on.

They way they all screamed and screamed and screamed when she revealed she was pregnant....it's just too much. Way.Too.Much.

I don't blame her. And you're right, all those years of being stuck as 1 of many, never having any personal space, and Kelly always there with her silly grin....I wouldn't be sad if I only had to endure that experience once a year for the rest of my life at Christmas or some family holiday.

So yes, I find Alyssa annoying. Stuck up because at the end of the day, even though they are annoying, loud and a bit backwoods for her new lifestyle, she acts like she's better than them now. And maybe she wishes she was. But you don't forget where you came from....you uneducated, inexperienced teenager.... :pull-hair:

I'm confused, you just defended her and her actions, but then you totally back tracked and called her a stuck up, uneducated, inexperienced teenager for feeling how you'd feel in her situation... So, do you see yourself as a stuck up, uneducated, inexperienced teenager? If not, then why are you so quick to attack her?

Personally, I think that Alyssa, whether she wanted to escape or not, found herself in a much calmer, quieter environment and enjoyed it. But then she found herself swarmed by people who haven't had that luxury and who don't know anything but the chaos of having 19 kids between 2 parents, and it's just overwhelming. I can't say if she thinks herself better than the rest of her family or not, but I find her reactions to be more "oh my god I can't deal with this much stimulation at once anymore" and maybe a bit of an emotional/mental claustrophobia type deal.

Not to mention, if Kelly's statement about the rules existing for the house means that the married children must revert to the rules they were subjected to when they were unmarried, I could also understand why Alyssa wouldn't be thrilled to be around her family. Here she is defining herself without "guidance" from her parents, but she has to leave herself behind when she goes home for a visit? That would be infuriating.

Also, just because you came from some place doesn't mean you have to always be in that place or conform to the ideals you had/were forced to have while you were there. And, redefining yourself doesn't mean you forgot your roots, it just means that you are more than your roots.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Even if they filmed in September, the timing is really, really tight for two more miscarriages after a March D&C, if that's even physically possible. I guess all things are possible through our savior.

If Erin's reality TV storyline is three miscarriages, shouldn't she have mentioned the THREE miscarriages??? :wtf:

It's very possible she miscarried right before the interview. That would easily put the miscarriages at 2-3 months apart.