Abigail Miscarried

[anjulibai]

Some women start showing earlier and earlier with continued pregnancies. She's also relatively heavy to begin with, so I'm guessing that's why she looked so big so quickly.

[salex]

Ummm...this has gotten beyond ridiculous for a 14 week miscarriage. Just my opinion, but an OBITUARY? He was not even close to viable, and if the funeral was family only, why put it in the paper?

You can pay to put memorials and obituaries etc in most newspapers. And she wants an obituary for her 14 week miscarriage so she can share her pain and misery, in case someone she knows doesn't know about it already so she can be seen as the suffering martyr.

I acknowledge her grief, but I think she is happy to share her insanity with the world.

Is her husband another Rusty Yeats?

[lilwriter85]

You can pay to put memorials and obituaries etc in most newspapers. And she wants an obituary for her 14 week miscarriage so she can share her pain and misery, in case someone she knows doesn't know about it already so she can be seen as the suffering martyr.

I acknowledge her grief, but I think she is happy to share her insanity with the world.

Is her husband another Rusty Yeats?

I get bad vibes from Jon.

[singsingsing]

At best her husband is a major enabler.

[Coconut Flan]

The obit is disturbing to me as they made it sound like a living breathing child died or at least did not define it was a miscarriage. It's terrible to play on people for sympathy like that.

[salex]

She got some publication to print a funeral notice:

journal-news.net/page/content.detail/id/600317/Leo-Benjamin.html?nav=5007

It is noticeably less detailed than the one she has on her blog right now.

2 sentences would often free, at least locally (My evil BIL used the max free lines allowed when his wife died a couple years ago.... cause he's just special that way)

Now I'll have to go to her blog and read the long version. ...

I really need another hobby!

[Jana814]

The obit is disturbing to me as they made it sound like a living breathing child died or at least did not define it was a miscarriage. It's terrible to play on people for sympathy like that.

Agree!!

[Stephanie66]

I thought most newspapers required some sort of proof of death. She has no death certificate because technically, the fetus was never alive or far along enough.

And if people start demanding free burial plots for miscarriages, the cemetery will run out of plots for parents who are truly needy and have actually had their living, breathing, loved child die. You know, like the two-year-old that Leo is buried next to. I know this sounds harsh, but Abigail is being incredibly selfish and using resources that could be better used for another family.

I can't even wrap my head around how much Abigail will suffer if she has a child with CF. Not the child in her eyes, but her. She needs to quit while she's ahead.

[Koala]

I thought most newspapers required some sort of proof of death. She has no death certificate because technically, the fetus was never alive or far along enough.

And if people start demanding free burial plots for miscarriages, the cemetery will run out of plots for parents who are truly needy and have actually had their living, breathing, loved child die. You know, like the two-year-old that Leo is buried next to. I know this sounds harsh, but Abigail is being incredibly selfish and using resources that could be better used for another family.

I can't even wrap my head around how much Abigail will suffer if she has a child with CF. Not the child in her eyes, but her. She needs to quit while she's ahead.

I've never heard of that. A death certificate often doesn't come for several weeks after the death.

I will be honest and say the I cringed when she referred to the 2 year old as Leo's neighbor...there just is no comparison.

[Elinor]

I've never heard of that. A death certificate often doesn't come for several weeks after the death.

I will be honest and say the I cringed when she referred to the 2 year old as Leo's neighbor...there just is no comparison.

My local newspaper requires proof of death from the funeral home. I think a statement from the funeral home is enough.

[Stephanie66]

Here's where I learned it: http://www.startribune.com/obituaries/1 ... l#required

"

Your phone number, name, address, and the city of deceased. Prepayment is required for all obituaries. For your convenience, we accept Visa, Mastercard, Discover, & American Express. We will take your payment information over the phone after we have received your approval to publish at the cost quoted.

The name and phone number of the mortuary or cremation provider handling arrangements. This information is kept confidential and is for our records only. We cannot publish an obituary without this information.

Please state when the notice should appear (day and date). All obituaries will appear in all editions of the newspaper and at startribune.com/obituaries."

Smaller papers may not be as picky, though.

[lilwriter85]

I thought most newspapers required some sort of proof of death. She has no death certificate because technically, the fetus was never alive or far along enough.

And if people start demanding free burial plots for miscarriages, the cemetery will run out of plots for parents who are truly needy and have actually had their living, breathing, loved child die. You know, like the two-year-old that Leo is buried next to. I know this sounds harsh, but Abigail is being incredibly selfish and using resources that could be better used for another family.

I can't even wrap my head around how much Abigail will suffer if she has a child with CF. Not the child in her eyes, but her. She needs to quit while she's ahead.

I agree with this and I don't think you are being harsh. I think the Baby Land(iirc) plots are intended more for families who unexpectedly lose an infant or a child and may not have the funds for a funeral. I don't think Abigail cares that she used resources that are suited for other families.

[chaotic life]

If we had published my child's death in the paper, the funeral home would have dealt with it as part of their services. We made the choice to NOT publish his death simply because we had only lived in this area for four months, and everyone who needed to know that Micah had died already knew.

I don't know what the paper would have required. I just know it was part of the service by the funeral home. I also know the funeral home director drove an hour to where his doctor was to get his death certificate signed and we had it back to us 48 hours after his death (along with his ashes, oh boy was that unexpected to be handed that box so quickly).

They really did move quickly for us, as they knew we needed the life insurance to have his funeral. They also allowed us to pay things off after they performed their services and that particular funeral home had a policy that for children under age 12, they only charged 1/3 their normal fees. They said their cut off was 12 because in their opinion it was just too young to die and it was the only thing they could do to help families was to ease the costs as much as they were able.

Her notice in the paper irritates me because it looks to deliberately try to lead people on that this was a three month old that passed and not a 14 week pregnancy.

[NurseNell]

In the photo of a pregnant Abigail on her blog doesn't she look further along than 14 weeks pregnant? I realize she's not a first time pregnant woman but still......

[alysee]

In the photo of a pregnant Abigail on her blog doesn't she look further along than 14 weeks pregnant? I realize she's not a first time pregnant woman but still......

I thought the same thing. She has had quite a few pregnancies, so I am not sure either. She definitely looked about 20 weeks pregnant? Maybe?

[Zazzle]

I recently lost a baby at 18 weeks. Nothing in Abigail's story seemed to unususal to me until she had an obituary published. My medical situation was different than hers, I had a high risk of hemorrhage so I require a D&E to safely deliver my daughter. Even in my case, there was no rush to deliver my daughter, the risk of infection is much lowers than you would expect. We had early prenatal testing that showed that I was having a girl when I was 10 weeks pregnant, so we already had a name picked out for her. If I had been induced we would have had a photographer come take pictures for us, there are organizations that will come to the hospital and do this at no cost to the parents. We were given the option to have a hospital cremation or to involve a funeral home. I chose a hospital cremation, if I could do everything again I would have chosen a private cremation. I loved my baby, and I miss the future we were plannning with her, but that is where I draw the line. I cant understand why someone would write an obituary for a miscarriage.

[Koala]

I recently lost a baby at 18 weeks. Nothing in Abigail's story seemed to unususal to me until she had an obituary published. My medical situation was different than hers, I had a high risk of hemorrhage so I require a D&E to safely deliver my daughter. Even in my case, there was no rush to deliver my daughter, the risk of infection is much lowers than you would expect. We had early prenatal testing that showed that I was having a girl when I was 10 weeks pregnant, so we already had a name picked out for her. If I had been induced we would have had a photographer come take pictures for us, there are organizations that will come to the hospital and do this at no cost to the parents. We were given the option to have a hospital cremation or to involve a funeral home. I chose a hospital cremation, if I could do everything again I would have chosen a private cremation. I loved my baby, and I miss the future we were plannning with her, but that is where I draw the line. I cant understand why someone would write an obituary for a miscarriage.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[treemom]

Zazzle,

I am so sorry.

[lilwriter85]

I'm sorry for your loss Zazzle.

[Hane]

Zazzle, I am sorry for your loss.

[Koala]

3 new posts up and funeral pics are back

[singsingsing]

Did she take them down again already? They're not showing up for me.

[Koala]

Did she take them down again already? They're not showing up for me.

yep....they are gone again. She had one of the family doing a "silly photo" (<---yes, I am serious) at the funeral, one of her husband and kids waiting for the service to begin, and one about her "miracle trio" (her 3 daughters) and some spill about her secondary infertility and how she and her husband will be seeing a specialist now. It must have only stayed up a few mins. I wonder why on earth she keeps posting just to take it right back down.

[GeoBQn]

How long after a miscarriage would it take for Abigail to actually be diagnosed with secondary infertility?

[Koala]

How long after a miscarriage would it take for Abigail to actually be diagnosed with secondary infertility?

Idk...the secondary infertility was from before though. She has a 3 year gap between her children and during that time she declared herself infertile.