Abigail Miscarried

[Confused_by_religion]

Her parents both have PhD's and have established careers as college professors. I think they mostly are embarrassed by Abigail and wonder where they went wrong.

Oh, I can SO imagine their embarassment. I would actually be quite furious if I had kids that portrayed me - in public! - as a monster because I put them in childcare. I fyou think about it, it doesn't really sound like the Christian thing to do - honor your parents and so on.

Maybe the parents don't know that Abigail blogs?

[nausicaa]

That's nuts!! But from what I read about her husband this dose not surprise me.

Yes. She has a blog entry about how once she was driving around with the kids wondering and worrying about how she was going to afford some necessity (food, new clothes for the kids, something along those lines) when they had absolutely no money in the bank. Then she gets home and finds some sort of gift card from her father in the mail. She hails it as God answering her prayers and becomes excited, but then remembers that her husband, John, asked her to not accept money from her father anymore, as it undermines John as a man. So she realizes that as difficult as it is, her priority is to respect her husband. \

I don't believe there was any resolution in the story as to how they met the children's still pressing need.

John gives me the skeeves. He seems like the sort of dude in college who always dated girls with drug problems or eating disorders so he could "save" them. And then promptly lost interest if they even remotely got their shit together.

[lilwriter85]

Oh, I can SO imagine their embarassment. I would actually be quite furious if I had kids that portrayed me - in public! - as a monster because I put them in childcare. I fyou think about it, it doesn't really sound like the Christian thing to do - honor your parents and so on.

Maybe the parents don't know that Abigail blogs?

I think it is possible that the parents don't know about Abigail's blog. If they don't know about the blog, Abigail has managed to avoid some major family drama.

[slickcat79]

Yes. She has a blog entry about how once she was driving around with the kids wondering and worrying about how she was going to afford some necessity (food, new clothes for the kids, something along those lines) when they had absolutely no money in the bank. Then she gets home and finds some sort of gift card from her father in the mail. She hails it as God answering her prayers and becomes excited, but then remembers that her husband, John, asked her to not accept money from her father anymore, as it undermines John as a man. So she realizes that as difficult as it is, her priority is to respect her husband. \

I don't believe there was any resolution in the story as to how they met the children's still pressing need.

Don't forget the part where she spent $13 (more than she spent on dinner for the family) on some broken piece of crap from hobby lobby because they are Obamacare "martyrs" :roll:

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-benefits-of-poverty-finding-sweet.html

[Confused_by_religion]

Yes. She has a blog entry about how once she was driving around with the kids wondering and worrying about how she was going to afford some necessity (food, new clothes for the kids, something along those lines) when they had absolutely no money in the bank. Then she gets home and finds some sort of gift card from her father in the mail. She hails it as God answering her prayers and becomes excited, but then remembers that her husband, John, asked her to not accept money from her father anymore, as it undermines John as a man. So she realizes that as difficult as it is, her priority is to respect her husband. \

I don't believe there was any resolution in the story as to how they met the children's still pressing need.

John gives me the skeeves. He seems like the sort of dude in college who always dated girls with drug problems or eating disorders so he could "save" them. And then promptly lost interest if they even remotely got their shit together.

There is no danger of that happening to Abigail, I think.

John: I think that IS a male sensitivity (the fear of not being able to provide for your family), but if that is his problem, it might have been a good idea to consider how many children they could actually feed. Does anybody know what his job is?

Abigail: If my husband can't feed my children and feels "undermined" when my parents help me feed my children, tough luck. I used to like Abigail, but her situation comes across as more and more crazy.

[nausicaa]

There is no danger of that happening to Abigail, I think.

John: I think that IS a male sensitivity (the fear of not being able to provide for your family), but if that is his problem, it might have been a good idea to consider how many children they could actually feed. Does anybody know what his job is?

Abigail: If my husband can't feed my children and feels "undermined" when my parents help me feed my children, tough luck. I used to like Abigail, but her situation comes across as more and more crazy.

He is a graphic designer in Rockville, Maryland. For some reason the salary of $80,000 always pops into my head, but I don't know if Abigail wrote that or that is the salary I have deemed typical for his position and experience and keep assuming when she talks about money. Living in West Virginia they probably could just make it if it weren't for her 100k in student loans. I am not sure if he also has loans.

Yes, I can understand his feeling upset at Abigail's parents stepping in with money. I actually like that he believes that they should be self-supporting adults. But then they need to actually self-support. Whether that requires them to have fewer kids, move somewhere else, Abigail to work, or for him to get a second job.

It seems like his thinking goes that because he is the man of the family he should be able to make whatever decisions he wants and everything should just magically work out. That's not pride; it's self-worship and entitlement.

[Koala]

Well, the impoverished ones have been to the movies twice this week. 4 for Catching Fire, all 7 for Frozen. She has also purchased a turkey from the Amish meat market.

Today, we picked up our turkey from our local Amish Meat Market.

This was the weekend of movies. I took my older three kids to opening night of "Catching Fire," the new Hunger Games movie

Today, we took all five kids to see Disney's "Frozen." A really great movie.

Who knew poor people lived so well? Hell, that would be expensive for me, and I consider us pretty comfortable.

I am betting she used her father's cc though, because you know, it's all God's money anyway.

From a previous post:

After Pre-School, we hit Old Navy to stock up on $2.50 flip-flops for the family. Alex chose red for himself and blue for his Dad. Hannah insisted that she and I have matching brown ones. I picked up two cover-ups for modesty for us girls. Then I paid for my purchases with my Dad's credit card.

Even thought I had express permission to stock up beach supplies from my Dad, who incidentally is also paying for our trip to see my paternal grandfather, I had a squeamish feeling in stomach.

I'm 34 and I just used my Dad's credit card.

I hadn't really realized that I had started praying about it, until I got into the car and received this answer "What does it matter if the money to buy summer clothes comes from your Father, your husband or your Father in Heaven."

What does it matter?

It's all a gift.

I mean, I'm not earning a penny right now. Every physical need that I have for myself and my children is covered by my husband mostly, with occasional gifts from my father and my father-in-law. Yet all of this comes from my Heavenly Father.

Why am I splitting hairs over whose name is on the credit card?

[GeoBQn]

How old are her three oldest kids? Catching Fire is PG-13.

[Koala]

How old are her three oldest kids? Catching Fire is PG-13.

I was wondering the same thing :?

[Koala]

Okay I guess her oldest is 10. On the 6th of Nov. she wrote:

I guess her son is the oldest? He just turned 9.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Her dad gave her a credit card, probably because he knows Abigail is terrible with money and doesn't want the kids to go hungry and end up wearing nothing but rags, in the box they would have to live in because Abigail spent the rent money on something new for herself. Instead she spends it on movies and other things that are unnecessary.

He should instead buy her actual things-like buy the kids new clothes when they need them, or buy groceries when Abigail spent all of their money on toys and cant afford food.

Catching Fire was absolutely awesome though :D Watched it on the day it came out :)

[Stephanie66]

Since when is Hobby Lobby a martyr for not wanting to pay for their female employee's birth control? I would say that's greedy. I guess the SCOTUS will be deciding.

I can't imagine being 34 and using my parents' credit card, and I especially can't imagine using it for vacations and things I don't need.

I understand her dad wanting to help, but she is CHOOSING to live in poverty, so...that's her choice. Let her live how she chooses.

I found an older digital camera that I actually considered sending to her. I decided that a) it's probably not up to her standards and b) someone else would probably enjoy it more. It was an expensive camera in the day...I just have a better one now.

[lilwriter85]

I think she is a few years older like 37 or 38.

[singsingsing]

She is in her late 30s. Her oldest child is her daughter Hannah, who must be 10 or 11.

[halfheartedheroine]

Since when is Hobby Lobby a martyr for not wanting to pay for their female employee's birth control? I would say that's greedy. I guess the SCOTUS will be deciding.

I can't imagine being 34 and using my parents' credit card, and I especially can't imagine using it for vacations and things I don't need.

I understand her dad wanting to help, but she is CHOOSING to live in poverty, so...that's her choice. Let her live how she chooses.

I found an older digital camera that I actually considered sending to her. I decided that a) it's probably not up to her standards and b) someone else would probably enjoy it more. It was an expensive camera in the day...I just have a better one now.

Amen. I'm mid-20's and have a credit card that's technically my parents', but it was given with a stern reminder that it was to be used in case of emergencies only. Like, abandoned somewhere and need a place to stay overnight, bank account got frozen, that sort of thing. I've used it once to pay my utilities when my wallet was missing, but I promptly transferred the money back to them once said wallet was returned to me. Paying for vacations and splurges? :penguin-no:

[Koala]

I think she is a few years older like 37 or 38.

yep...that post was from 2009

[slickcat79]

Amen. I'm mid-20's and have a credit card that's technically my parents', but it was given with a stern reminder that it was to be used in case of emergencies only. Like, abandoned somewhere and need a place to stay overnight, bank account got frozen, that sort of thing. I've used it once to pay my utilities when my wallet was missing, but I promptly transferred the money back to them once said wallet was returned to me. Paying for vacations and splurges? :penguin-no:

I can see using an emergency card (or borrowing money) in circumstances like that. Abigail talked about needing heaters for the house, but not having money because they were waiting on their debit card to be refunded. So why not use her dad's card to buy the heaters so her kids don't freeze, then repay him when her card gets refunded? I think that's what most mature adults would do if they faced a true money emergency, instead of just being really wasteful and irresponsible with money on a regular basis.

[Confused_by_religion]

I'm 34 and I just used my Dad's credit card.

I hadn't really realized that I had started praying about it, until I got into the car and received this answer "What does it matter if the money to buy summer clothes comes from your Father, your husband or your Father in Heaven."

What does it matter?

It's all a gift.

I mean, I'm not earning a penny right now. Every physical need that I have for myself and my children is covered by my husband mostly, with occasional gifts from my father and my father-in-law. Yet all of this comes from my Heavenly Father.

Why am I splitting hairs over whose name is on the credit card?

[lilwriter85]

Amen. I'm mid-20's and have a credit card that's technically my parents', but it was given with a stern reminder that it was to be used in case of emergencies only. Like, abandoned somewhere and need a place to stay overnight, bank account got frozen, that sort of thing. I've used it once to pay my utilities when my wallet was missing, but I promptly transferred the money back to them once said wallet was returned to me. Paying for vacations and splurges? :penguin-no:

My parents also gave me a credit card when I was in college. They gave me to use for emergencies or in case I need extra money for books or other necessary college supplies.

[Vex]

I like the Hunger Games (although I vastly prefer Battle Royale) but I hate the movies. I think the story doesn't make a whole lot of sense without the first person narrative. I watched THG with a friend who hadn't read the series and he couldn't understand the story. CF was a big improvement on the first movie (although I was super disappointed in the casting for Finnick) and though there is hardly any blood it's not even slightly appropriate for kids under 10.

Can I just add that I torrented the film because I can't afford to waste money going to the movies? Yeah.

I can understand letting your (tween/teen) kids read the series because it's a pretty good series and is reminiscent of other more grown up dystopian books such as 1984, Battle Royale, A Handmaid's Tale, and I think what kids would get out of the books is worth the exposure to the violence. However, the story is not nearly as strong on film (not to mention it is difficult to understand without having read the novels) and I really don't think it's a good idea to expose under-10's to a series about children fighting to the death and dying horribly.

Whatever. She's a bundle of cray-cray. Nothing she does is advisable.

[Carla Bruni]

Chiming in to add that I paid extra attention to my Thanksgiving grocery shopping bill just for Abigail. Our (fresh) 13-lb turkey was $12.55 at a fancy grocery store in an upscale area of DC with the store card. Originally $22. Take off a few bucks if adjusting for WV. Somehow it seems more nutritious than $11 worth of McD's hamburgers and a $13 Jesus print, but that's just me.

[countressrascal]

My parents live in the Amish area of PA, the turkey's from them were always cheaper than the ones in the grocery stores, however you had to place the order ahead of time to make sure you got one. Granted they were smaller than Butterball average about 12-15 lb, however they did taste so much better.

Regarding the CC issue, when all the kids were either in college, post grad or first starting out they had our credit cards for emgerencies, like co payments at the ER or new set of tires, which were both real expenses not crap at Hobby Lobby or movie tickets if they had done that they would have been taken away. She has an issue regarding money management, needs to spend some time getting it under control and learning the different between WANTS and NEEDS. I need a new car but I wanted Mercedes ML350 which at the present time we can't afford so I will have to settle for something in our budget. It is called being an adult.

[Dysfundamental]

Chiming in to add that I paid extra attention to my Thanksgiving grocery shopping bill just for Abigail. Our (fresh) 13-lb turkey was $12.55 at a fancy grocery store in an upscale area of DC with the store card. Originally $22. Take off a few bucks if adjusting for WV. Somehow it seems more nutritious than $11 worth of McD's hamburgers and a $13 Jesus print, but that's just me.

Poorer communities generally have higher grocery prices, a paradox that has inspired lots of sophomore economics papers. WV has very high grocery prices compared to DC because it's not a transit hub.

Still, she could have bought a real dinner if she'd been planning.

[nausicaa]

Poorer communities generally have higher grocery prices, a paradox that has inspired lots of sophomore economics papers. WV has very high grocery prices compared to DC because it's not a transit hub.

Still, she could have bought a real dinner if she'd been planning.

That does explain why my WV relatives pay so much more for gas. I always wondered about that, assuming the cost of living should be so much less in WV versus the DC metro area.

However, while I am not sure of the exact town that Abigail lives in, I know she is not out in Appalachia. Since her husband commutes to Rockville, she is probably no more than 45 minutes from the western fringes of the DC metro area, where there are plenty of discount grocers like Bottom Dollar or Food Lion. Even the local Giants and Harris Teeters in Purcellville or Frederick run good sales and probably have cheaper prices, being closer to transit hubs.

I'm guessing this is another case of Abigial's lack of planning. No meal plans or grocery lists equals frequent, frantic runs to the local grocery shop. (Though I can't really blame her too much for that one. I'd be a disorganized mess with five kids. I just don't like that she blames it on religious-inspired poverty).

[Mama Mia]

Turkey is actually an excellent value in general, and particularly for a large family. You can get at least three meals for a large family for under $20, including sides like potatoes and veggies and a loaf of bread. So well under a dollar per person per meal.

You have the main turkey dinner the first night with stuffing and various veggies. The next night you fry up a turkey hash with the leftovers the third night you make turkey soup, still with the leftovers. Most families with small children, or smaller families could stretch this out for several more days.

Why these big families on a budget don't buy a turkey a couple times a month is beyond me.