Abigail Miscarried

[Koala]

There is something very fishy about her miscarriage story, according to her blog she is still walking around with a dead fetus, 10 days. Why has she not done something medically about it, I would not let a patient of mine to do this. We usually let then try to naturally miscarriage for max a week then we intervene (medically) so that there are not any further complications. Does she not understand that she can get an infection and could die. Maybe that is what she wants? Story just does not sound right.

I really want her to get professional mental health help, she needs it!!!!

I am rather concerned myself. She seems to be contradicting herself a bit:

On Oct. 8th she wrote:

I refused to buy Kotex pads at CVS this afternoon.

My husband stayed home from work today. We went to Daily Mass together.

Tonight, Jon and I are dropping off our five kids to a kind and brave friend who will feed them dinner while we have time alone. I think we are going to Applebees.

On Oct 12th she wrote:

My husband and I took a tour of a cemetery today.

We went to the grocery store for milk and diapers.

As a leper in Mass today,

We drove to Chuck E Cheese.

Yet on Oct. 16th she wrote:

Today, I drove myself and two little girls to Walmart yesterday for meat, milk and diapers. I felt so proud of myself. It was the first time I left the house since the bad news.

She almost sounds confused. First she says today, then yesterday. But mainly she's saying it's the first time she's left the house since the news of her miscarriage, yet she's blogged about going at least 7 different places, some of them fairly major outings.

I don't know how long people typically wait out a miscarriage. My first required a DNC on day 5 (the day it was confirmed). With my second, I completed the miscarriage the afternoon I found out there wasn't a heartbeat.

I know some people (my sister-in-law for example) will avoid a DNC at all cost because it's too much like an abortion :roll: . She actually encouraged me to ignore my doctor's advice with my first miscarriage "just in case". Obviously I didn't take that sage piece of advice. :pull-hair: Anyway, it's also possible she is concerned about possible scarring of the uterus from a DNC...who knows. I do think it's probably time she got some professional help though.

[julie paradox]

Koala: perhaps she means it's the first time she's left the house without the support of her husband?

[Koala]

Koala: perhaps she means it's the first time she's left the house without the support of her husband?

Maybe so. Honestly she sounds a bit confused to me. I think she is really at the point of needing some help...I think she was at that point before the miscarriage.

[bea]

I chose to end a pregnancy at 14 weeks after a diagnosis of Trisomy 13, which is incompatible with life. And it was HARD. Not only was there grief and guilt, but the hormones made me cah-rayzee starting about ten days after the abortion.

I hope Abigail is getting mental and physical care. But I doubt it.

[Jana814]

I chose to end a pregnancy at 14 weeks after a diagnosis of Trisomy 13, which is incompatible with life. And it was HARD. Not only was there grief and guilt, but the hormones made me cah-rayzee starting about ten days after the abortion.

I hope Abigail is getting mental and physical care. But I doubt it.

So sorry to read that this happened to you. I don't think that she is getting mental or physical care.

[Hane]

At this count, she's been carrying a dead second-trimester fetus inside her for ten days. Isn't that dangerous to her health? Could septicemia develop? (Back in the late 1920s, something similar happened to my grandmother, but she was able to pass the fetus and pulled through.)

[GeoBQn]

She's claiming that her doctor wants to wait a full 3 weeks before intervening, but she would rather have an induction.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2013/10/receiving-unexpected-support.html

[Eater of Worlds]

She's claiming that her doctor wants to wait a full 3 weeks before intervening, but she would rather have an induction.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2013/10/receiving-unexpected-support.html

I cannot believe a doctor is saying this.

i can believe that she's so messed up, she could be even faking the death to have the baby suddenly start to live again. Another possibility is she's just so mentally ill that she's completely refusing anything to be done, in hopes that everyone really is wrong and the baby really is ok, or she's refusing to do anything because she can't deal and by not doing anything it makes it all not so real yet.

[Stephanie66]

I am so confused at this point.

[countressrascal]

She's claiming that her doctor wants to wait a full 3 weeks before intervening, but she would rather have an induction.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2013/10/receiving-unexpected-support.html

There is no way that an OB/GYN would wait that long to intervene, it is not "Standard of care" end of story. Max is 7 days then she would have to show up every other day to be checked. She can't even get her facts straight-at 12-16 weeks it is not called an autopsy- they take the tissue and do genetic testing if there is a reason to do it. If she does that there is nothing for her to bury, after the testing they dispose of the tissue as medical waste. Also results can take up to 30 days to come back, it all depends what they are testing for. I still say that there is something not right about her story.

If she was my patient I would be referring her to psych clinic, no questions asked also maybe get CPS involved but that would only if I feel that her children are in danger.

[lipstickgoalie]

Is it possible she is trying to set herself up for a "miracle"? That she is such a good Catholic that mommy Mary intersessed on her behalf and brought her baby back from dead? I really hate to snark on a woman who just miscarried but something about this is really off.

ETA: I am sorry. I didn't see the post a couple above mine before I wrote this.

ETA2: I know the difference between "wrote" and "wore"

[countressrascal]

Is it possible she is trying to set herself up for a "miracle"? That she is such a good Catholic that mommy Mary intersessed on her behalf and brought her baby back from dead? I really hate to snark on a woman who just miscarried but something about this is really off.

ETA: I am sorry. I didn't see the post a couple above mine before I wrote this.

ETA2: I know the difference between "wrote" and "wore"

I felt that way before before all her recent drama started.

[lipstickgoalie]

I felt that way before before all her recent drama started.

What made you think that? I always got the "More Catholic than the Pope" vibe off of her and questioned some of her choices in language, budgeting and lifestyle but she didn't read full on batshit until recently.

[NurseNell]

What made you think that? I always got the "More Catholic than the Pope" vibe off of her and questioned some of her choices in language, budgeting and lifestyle but she didn't read full on batshit until recently.

I agree. She really seems to becoming more and more disconnected from reality. She needs a psych admission.

[Stephanie66]

Is there a way to contact her? I have no idea how to word it, but maybe someone here can? Or her husband? I am dead on serious. There's something wrong.

[singsingsing]

I think her e-mail address is on her blog, but I'm warning you, she will not respond well. People who politely and kindly disagreed with her in the comments (before she closed them) were treated like crap by both Abigail and her husband, who I believe is almost as insane. I think she would view any attempt to speak reason to her as a satanic attack. She'd dissolve into emotional agony for a while, then pull herself out of bed to write three blog posts in a row about how she received scorn.

[browngrl]

Abigail's saga has taken an odd turn. I can think of a number of scenarios to explain things:

(1) there never was a baby - and this is her way of getting out of the situation

(2) there was a baby - there was an early miscarriage which she did not tell anyone about for what ever reason and this is her was of getting out of the situation

(3) there was a baby - but there was no real diagnosis of fetal demise and this is her way of creating a dramatic "miracle"

(4) there was a baby - she did have a miscarriage and the doctors are just monitoring her for post miscarriage complications (which are below the threshold of triggering a medical intervention) - and Abigail is just being her usual dramatic self

(5) there was a baby, there was a fetal demise and her doctors have an unusual treatment plan (for what ever reason)

Any way you look at things - something is "off" either medically or psychiatrically

This saga is getting strange.

[Phoebe]

Abigail's saga has taken an odd turn. I can think of a number of scenarios to explain things:

(1) there never was a baby - and this is her way of getting out of the situation

(2) there was a baby - there was an early miscarriage which she did not tell anyone about for what ever reason and this is her was of getting out of the situation

(3) there was a baby - but there was no real diagnosis of fetal demise and this is her way of creating a dramatic "miracle"

(4) there was a baby - she did have a miscarriage and the doctors are just monitoring her for post miscarriage complications (which are below the threshold of triggering a medical intervention) - and Abigail is just being her usual dramatic self

(5) there was a baby, there was a fetal demise and her doctors have an unusual treatment plan (for what ever reason)

Any way you look at things - something is "off" either medically or psychiatrically

This saga is getting strange.

In a way, it reminds me of StillGay and Dodo. :ew:

[slickcat79]

I felt that way before before all her recent drama started.

Didn't someone else we followed on here actually do that? Psycho Emma, maybe? I know someone had been pregnant, but an US showed no heartbeat and determined that fetal demise had taken place a week or so earlier. So she made her husband and children pray for a miracle to revive the embryo :? All of them really bought into it too, it was craziness :shock:

[Koala]

Didn't someone else we followed on here actually do that? Psycho Emma, maybe? I know someone had been pregnant, but an US showed no heartbeat and determined that fetal demise had taken place a week or so earlier. So she made her husband and children pray for a miracle to revive the embryo :? All of them really bought into it too, it was craziness :shock:

I remember something like that...can't remember who it was though.

Lord only knows what's going on with Abigail. I had a :evil-eye: moment when she said they might have to do an autopsy. I thought they told her the other day she could "flush it", so this seems like a big swing to me.

*If* she continues going to funeral parlors, hospital administrators and the like I could easily see them insisting she get some kind of help. I was devastated by my first miscarriage (by my second I was kind of expecting it), but I was in nowhere near the state she is in. Everyone grieves differently, but when you take in the whole picture of the state of affairs in Abigail's life it starts to become very concerning. I really hope she gets the help she needs.

[Eternalbluepearl]

She says things like that her husband is now getting up in the night to check that the kids are breathing since the miscarriage. They act like Abigail was attacked by some force and now they are all in danger. It's sad yes but this has happened to her before. I think a dead child fits her martyr complex perfectly and she is hoping for a big deal funeral and lots of sympathy because she's a "catholic mother who loves children." Someone needs to tell her to get a life. A real one. Not my husband and I spend our time praying then use my family's credit card to buy groceries. She has always come across as a spoiled brat to me. I struggle to sympathize with her.

[snarkykitty]

Semi-OT. I know some (if not most) genetic conditions are more likely to result in miscarriage, even if many people are born alive with the condition. Is this true of CF? If, say, both parents are carriers and have a miscarriage, would it be more likely that the child had the genes? Just wondering.

No. CF is not the type of genetic mistake that spontaneously causes miscarriage or death. It's the cumulative affects of the clinical manifestations that kills patients. For 80% of patients, it's continuous damage to the lungs.

Any pregnancy between two carriers of the CF gene has a 25% chance of having CF, a 50% chance of being a carrier (carrying one defective copy of the gene) and a 25% chance of carrying no gene/no Cf.

[snarkykitty]

She should read this:

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/ ... ring_.html

"If I had known Ronan had Tay-Sachs (I met with two genetic counselors and had every standard prenatal test available to me, including the one for Tay-Sachs, which did not detect my rare mutation, and therefore I waived the test at my CVS procedure), I would have found out what the disease meant for my then unborn child; I would have talked to parents who are raising (and burying) children with this disease, and then I would have had an abortion. Without question and without regret, although this would have been a different kind of loss to mourn and would by no means have been a cavalier or uncomplicated, heartless decision. I'm so grateful that Ronan is my child. I also wish he'd never been born; no person should suffer in this way—daily seizures, blindness, lack of movement, inability to swallow, a devastated brain—with no hope for a cure. Both of these statements are categorically true; neither one is mutually exclusive."

I understand that CF is not Tay Sachs, but she said that her children would get the WORST kind of CF. So she at least needs to know what she is sentencing her child to before she subjects him/her to it. She made her decision to go through with all pregnancies without any understanding at all, over dinner at Bob Evans. I think her potentially suffering children at least deserve the knowledge that yes, their parents KNEW what they would be going through.

For the record, there is no "worst kind of CF". There is speculation that gene mutations may help predict types of medical issues (and even medications are being tested on patients with specific mutations), but there is no proof that any mutation/combination is "the worst kind". I carry the combination that was purported to be "the most lethal" and I am in my early 40s.

[chaotic life]

My guess is that she means one of the six most common mutations of CF. Statistically, the most common and hardest presentation of CF is DDF508, which is what my son had. DDs tend to have significant GI involvement that lesser mutations often don't have, or develop later. They also tend to have a higher chance of meconium ileus (prenatal bowel obstruction and can be quite dangerous and causes significant life-long implications). Their respiratory disease is not per se worse than other mutations. However, respiratory health is directly tied to weight and their GI struggles often do impact their weight which will then have a correlated impact on their respiratory health.

As snarkykitty said, almost all CFers eventually die of their lungs deteriorating. A very small percentage die of GI issues including liver disease and those who do are usually the DDs like my son.

My personal guess is that she has miscarried but likely sees a D&C as an abortion and is non-compliant with her doctor's request to do so. She would also see Cytotec as abortion and refuse it. If she's retained the pregnancy, she may indeed face life threatening complications (remember the woman in Ireland who died because she was denied medical procedures to expel the lost pregnancy). I doubt her doctor is okay with this, but there's little you can do with a non-compliant patient until they show up in the ER in trouble.

Although, if she's had a missed miscarriage, it might contribute to worse emotions and confusion and might explain why she's not making a lot of sense on her blog right now.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I hope Abigail is ok and delivers the fetus soon before she gets any complications from it decomposing inside her.