Abigail Miscarried

[NurseNell]

My daughter has had 2 C-sections, bikini incisions, 7 years apart. Her younger child is 3. She's not pregnant currently but would like a 3rd pregnancy. She's not sure she wants to take that risk though so she's at the other end of the curve from Abigail and others who've had C-sections. She has no interest in a V-bac. She had a 30 hour labor before her first C-section.

[Curious]

This thing is horrid to quote on but Curious, what you are talking about is Placenta Accreta, it is when the placenta attaches in a way that it can grow outside the scar tissue, the placenta can also go further and attach to other organs like the bladder as well. I know some one who had two c-sections, in the middle of the second they discovered Placenta Accreta, friend was given a full hysterectomy on the table and almost bled to death. She also developed some infection as well later. The doctors said she was very lucky, her daughter was almost left motherless.

Accreta and uterine rupture are more common with classic cuts, but can happen in bikini cuts as well, but the type of cut and stitches make classic more

risky.

I think it's interesting that others are finding this story rather odd as well. I mean if the baby has been gone as long as she said, I hate to say this but the baby should show deterioration and not be so easy to see the gender. The time and break down of events seem odd. The photos seem strange, I just feel bad saying this, but her story is not rining true.

Thank you, I didn't think I had the term correct. For my classic cut they used what they called "permanent sutures," which I took to mean the sutures were not made of material that dissolves over time. I never really asked for details, but I assume I am correct, because when I had the second section, the dr. grumbled about it taking longer because they couldn't use my old incision as planned due to the time it would take to go through the "permanent sutures" and as it was they ended up taking longer because they had to cut through several where the bikini cut intersected the classic cut.

I would guess they use the "permanent" ones in the classic cut to help give the uterus more strength at the suture site during future pregnancies to reduce the chance of rupture. I didn't actually ask for details about what they would do in the event I had another baby because I was not planning to have another one, but I assume they can keep using the bikini cut over and over. It'd make me nervous to test the risks too many times, but I didn't do pregnancy overly well and twice was plenty for me ;)

[Mudball]

Ahh, accreta. It IS too horrid to mention. I had accreta, and almost died immediately after giving birth and then again 9 weeks later from retained placenta. I had no history of C-sections, in fact I had accreta with my first (and only) child who I birthed in the hospital.

But, according to my OB my accreta wasn't a reason to advise not to have more children but that I would be considered high risk in subsequent pregnancies and deliveries. It was, to me, however, a large reason (but not the only reason) why I chose to have just one.

Sorry to derail! :embarrassed:

[Stephanie66]

I am assuming that Abigail would not allow a D&C, as she wanted the baby "whole". The only option, then, would be to go through labor, which wasn't happening on it's own.

Gross warning:

I would also assume the fetus would be quite decomposed, but remember the Lacy Peterson case? Although the mother had been murdered, the baby was less decomposed (before he was expelled and found) because he had been inside of his mother.

And I am sorry I can't remember the name of Laci's baby, or I would have used it.

[Coconut Flan]

At 14 weeks though there are pills that will get the miscarriage going that people I have known have been given. It's much cheaper and probably easier on the patient than being in the hospital on IV Pitocin. That's why I say, that Abigail seems to always choose the hardest path.

[NurseNell]

At 14 weeks though there are pills that will get the miscarriage going that people I have known have been given. It's much cheaper and probably easier on the patient than being in the hospital on IV Pitocin. That's why I say, that Abigail seems to always choose the hardest path.

But not everyone has the need to suffer like she does. She must prove to the world she is more Catholic than the Pope. She has called herself to suffer for the faith.

[Curious]

At 14 weeks though there are pills that will get the miscarriage going that people I have known have been given. It's much cheaper and probably easier on the patient than being in the hospital on IV Pitocin. That's why I say, that Abigail seems to always choose the hardest path.

Would she maybe still consider that an "abortion," even though the fetus was already passed away though?

[lipstickgoalie]

I am assuming that Abigail would not allow a D&C, as she wanted the baby "whole". The only option, then, would be to go through labor, which wasn't happening on it's own.

Gross warning:

I would also assume the fetus would be quite decomposed, but remember the Lacy Peterson case? Although the mother had been murdered, the baby was less decomposed (before he was expelled and found) because he had been inside of his mother.

And I am sorry I can't remember the name of Laci's baby, or I would have used it.

Connor. Why that has stuck with my all these years I have no idea.

[Mama Mia]

I lost a baby at around that time ( loss was sometime between 14 and 16 weeks, but they didn't know exact gestational age ). I had to wait to go into labor and it was a milder labor than my other children, but definitely still labor. They didn't do a D and C, and couldn't give me pain meds because I was bleeding too much. I almostdied from the hemoragging and at some point they did something to stop the bleeding...maybe a d and c at that point? I had to stay at the hospital to recuperate. This was 25 years ago, and I was grieving so the details of the medical procedures are hazy,but it was definitely very similar in the process to a regular birth, just didn't have to push.

[singsingsing]

She actually seems to have a moment of insight when she stands by the cemetery plot and thinks, "Why am I signing myself up for more pain?" But of course she brushes that silly thought away.

She consoles herself twice in this post by stating that 'God is crazy'. Um... no, Abigail. God is not 'crazy'. Do you realize what you're saying? Would you actually worship a deity who was insane?

I worry for her kids. Abigail was not even close to emotionally stable even a month ago when everything was going according to plan. She was miserable and prone to breakdowns and bizarre thinking ('I was a Ukrainian orphan' - 'I'm going to be in the hospital throwing up from chemo') at the best of times. I truly feel bad for her, but more for her children, and I hope she can pull through this okay, for their sakes if anything. I find someone comforting themselves with the idea that 'God is crazy' pretty worrying, though.

[bea]

I have to admit I'm concerned about those five little kids too. And it's not like they have people in their lives who can provide a stabilizing influence. Abigail has essentially isolated these kids entirely. SHE gets to go to prayer groups and support groups and meetings, whereas the kids just have home and Church, as far as I can tell.

I hope someone in "real life" is keeping an eye on this family.

[slickcat79]

I have to admit I'm concerned about those five little kids too. And it's not like they have people in their lives who can provide a stabilizing influence. Abigail has essentially isolated these kids entirely. SHE gets to go to prayer groups and support groups and meetings, whereas the kids just have home and Church, as far as I can tell.

I hope someone in "real life" is keeping an eye on this family.

It seems like her father tries, but I think Abigail tries to keep him at a distance too. Her husband would rather his children suffer than his pride, so we can't let grandpa provide for them :roll: I'm not sure how much he can or would be willing to get involved with Abigail's emotional health in any case.

[Stephanie66]

There's really not much her family CAN do.

Abigail is a grown-up. She can do as she pleases with her children. She isn't abusing or neglecting them.

I just wish she would snap out of it.

[Koala]

Funeral pictures are up and can be seen in the first 3 posts.

[Koala]

And just like that they are gone. She left one pregnancy photo up and took down the two posts that included funeral pictures.

[anjulibai]

I wonder why. Seems like she'd want it out there.

[Koala]

I wonder why. Seems like she'd want it out there.

She was smiling really big in the pic she posted. I almost wonder if someone said something. It was kind of strange. The other was just of her husband and the children sitting and waiting for the funeral to begin.

[anjulibai]

She was smiling really big in the pic she posted. I almost wonder if someone said something. It was kind of strange. The other was just of her husband and the children sitting and waiting for the funeral to begin.

Maybe, but she also posted pictures of her smiling the day she delivered the baby, I can't see why those would be okay but not ones from the funeral. The pics sound innocuous enough. Perhaps she'll explain later.

[GeoBQn]

I hope that she had a rare moment of lucidity about how inappropriate the pictures were to post, but I fear that she did not.

[GeoBQn]

She got some publication to print a funeral notice:

journal-news.net/page/content.detail/id/600317/Leo-Benjamin.html?nav=5007

It is noticeably less detailed than the one she has on her blog right now.

[Stephanie66]

Ummm...this has gotten beyond ridiculous for a 14 week miscarriage. Just my opinion, but an OBITUARY? He was not even close to viable, and if the funeral was family only, why put it in the paper?

[Jana814]

Ummm...this has gotten beyond ridiculous for a 14 week miscarriage. Just my opinion, but an OBITUARY? He was not even close to viable, and if the funeral was family only, why put it in the paper?

Completely agree!!

[lilwriter85]

I got to agree with Stephanie66 too. I have sympathy for Abigail but she been ridiculous at times. First she bitched about the Catholic cemetery not offering free plots for infants and children and now the obituary. I'm not trying to sound cruel, but I think an obituary for someone in Abigail and Jon's situation is also stupid money wise. I don't know how much the papers in Abigail's area charge for obituary, but when my grandmother died the obituary cost was $50 for a small town paper. Some newspapers charge by line which can be from $8-10. Abigial and Jon should have said their money for their kids.

[crazyforkate]

And she posted a pregnancy photo...which could not possibly have been this one because it's way too far along for that.

...what?

[Koala]

And she posted a pregnancy photo...which could not possibly have been this one because it's way too far along for that.

...what?

That's what I was thinking, but if you look back it's from her brother's wedding:

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2013/10/wedding-happiness_3.html