Jessa and Ben 49: Five and Counting

[Meggo]

23 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

Similar here. Except I’m really small and have always been struggling with being overweight, ever since childhood, while my husband is super tall and whatever he eats just gets turned into muscle.

My son is very much a mini me in terms of personality, talents, face, eye and hair color (which I love, especially the personality and talents part). But thankfully, ever since leaving the chunky baby stage, he’s fairly small for his age, but completely normal in weight and build. I can simply buy his clothes based on his current size, and it generally fits. We’ve never had to worry about him being too slim or not gaining enough weight, but also not about eating too much or becoming overweight, either. He’s only 3 now, but at least up until now, food and weight has been  a non-issue with him, and I am so glad about this and hope it stays that way.

My husband had a major growth spurt at 12/13, so our son may still turn out tall-ish, but we’ll see.

I really hope my son’s eating doesn’t become an issue. I know my mom has labelled foods good or bad and I just want him to have a good balance. We talk all the time about how we need to fill up our tank with fruits and veggies and proteins because they help our bodies grow. If we just fed our bodies Doritos and chocolate- our bodies wouldn’t work as well. 
and he does eat super healthy most of the time. He will eat cookies etc but if there is a good fruit or veggie out and ready to be eaten - he is allll over that.

 

[Expectopatronus]

Personally, I think that it sounds like you are doing a great job of communicating balance. There is nothing wrong with having Doritos, cookies etc as a treat when you’re also eating fruit, vegetables, protein, healthy carbs etc. My kid’s lunch yesterday was apple slices, grapes, multigrain crackers, vegan cheese and vegan fruit gels. Sure the fruit gel is empty calories and full of sugar but everything else was healthy and I don’t want to make anything off limits (other than food she can’t eat due to allergies). 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

On the topic of food, I’ve been working so hard to recover from my eating disorder and it’s finally paying off. I’ve had some big successes this week. 

[Kiki03910]

5 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

On the topic of food, I’ve been working so hard to recover from my eating disorder and it’s finally paying off. I’ve had some big successes this week. 

This is fantastic! Congratulations.

[JDuggs]

Nineteen year old Ethan Seewald is marrying his fiancée Myla next week who celebrated her 18th birthday today.

[JermajestyDuggar]

28 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Nineteen year old Ethan Seewald is marrying his fiancée Myla next week who celebrated her 18th birthday today.

The Seewalds are so weird with their teen marriage. I’m sure there will be a few divorces in that family because barely legal young people are getting married.

[EmiSue]

48 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Seewalds are so weird with their teen marriage. I’m sure there will be a few divorces in that family because barely legal young people are getting married.

Yeah, Danielle is, what, 24 and still single and that seems ancient compared to her siblings. She may be the first to be able to drink at her own wedding (even though she won't, but you know what I mean).

[raayx01]

1 hour ago, EmiSue said:

Yeah, Danielle is, what, 24 and still single and that seems ancient compared to her siblings. She may be the first to be able to drink at her own wedding (even though she won't, but you know what I mean).

Danielle is actually in a relationship with some unknown guy and Jessica got married at about 21 and divorced and remarried her current husband about a year later. I do beige Jessica drinks though, she was a cop for a while.

[JDuggs]

27 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

Danielle is actually in a relationship with some unknown guy and Jessica got married at about 21 and divorced and remarried her current husband about a year later. I do beige Jessica drinks though, she was a cop for a while.

Jessica married for the first time at 22. At 24, she divorced and married for the second time. Danielle posted this pic on IG on 1/28.

Spoiler

 

[EmiSue]

13 hours ago, JDuggs said:

Jessica married for the first time at 22. At 24, she divorced and married for the second time. Danielle posted this pic on IG on 1/28.

  Hide contents

 

Girl's in a relationship with her hot pink talons. 

[JDuggs]

Danielle’s boyfriend shares a first name with my favorite Christian country singer Lawson Bates. Probably based on age and location, I’ve never met a Lawson in the wild.

[JDuggs]

Ethan Seewald got married today.

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Imagine going to the wedding of an 18 and 19 year old. I would be sitting there thinking, “this is weird.” But I would still smile and congratulate them. 

[Melissa1977]

Ethan looks like Ben! 

My eldest is 18. I just can't imagine a wedding. Some 18 year old are mature, but a marriage is another level. Even if divorce and birth control are allowed, I think it's too much. At 18, people are still developing their personalities, they haven't experienced adult life. I understand marrying when the only alternative is being stuck at home as a sistermom or living under control freak parents, but it doesn't mean the couple is ready for marriage.

[JermajestyDuggar]

At least Ethan has a sibling who has been divorced. I think if your sibling has gone through it, you’ll be more likely to feel it is an option if your marriage is miserable. 

[nvmbr02]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Imagine going to the wedding of an 18 and 19 year old. I would be sitting there thinking, “this is weird.” But I would still smile and congratulate them. 

We have a very good friend who's daughter turned 19 in January and she recently got married. I think her new husband is turning 21. We weren't at the wedding but did sed a card and some money. My daughter is a year older than she is, in her 3rd year of college and getting ready to move in with her boyfriend. But no plans of marriage anytime soon, they both are planning grad school and who knows after that. My daughter is very mature overall and I think that is a good thing. She is mature enough to realize it is smart for her to focus on getting her own career plans going before getting married.

I don't think all young couples are doomed though. My husband and I married young as did most of our friends. We were in th emilitary and it is just what people did. Most of us are still married 22+ years later. It still isn't what I would want for my children though,  

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, nvmbr02 said:

We have a very good friend who's daughter turned 19 in January and she recently got married. I think her new husband is turning 21. We weren't at the wedding but did sed a card and some money. My daughter is a year older than she is, in her 3rd year of college and getting ready to move in with her boyfriend. But no plans of marriage anytime soon, they both are planning grad school and who knows after that. My daughter is very mature overall and I think that is a good thing. She is mature enough to realize it is smart for her to focus on getting her own career plans going before getting married.

I don't think all young couples are doomed though. My husband and I married young as did most of our friends. We were in th emilitary and it is just what people did. Most of us are still married 22+ years later. It still isn't what I would want for my children though,  

Not all of them are doomed but stats are not on their side. The biggest reason these fundies get married young is so they can have sex without religious guilt and shame. I would never want my child to legally tie themselves to someone at 18 just so they can have sex. I am completely fine with my kids having consensual responsible (meaning birth control/condoms) sex at 18 without marriage. 

[Cam]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The biggest reason these fundies get married young is so they can have sex without religious guilt and shame. 

Doesn’t sound like such a godly reason to get married if you ask me.

Many a young person has gotten the hots for someone and let the attraction run its course without getting married, whether that’s two months or two years. The sizzle finally fades, the couple realizes they have little else in common and they move on. Most never regret the moving on part. Then ten years down the road you see someone you were once so crazy about and think, “wow, dodged a bullet.” Or even just, “yeah, no.” 

Imo, the IBLP-encouraged quickie marriages of young people is a major way to keep members in the cult. Young married couples quickly start having babies and find out how hard it’d be to get out of a marriage they no longer want to be in. I don’t know what the divorce rate is for IBLP couples, but if it’s low, it’s not because they don’t want to divorce, it’s due to the difficulty of getting out from under it all. Easier perhaps to stay and tolerate. 

Edited February 25 by Cam

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Cam said:

Doesn’t sound like such a godly reason to get married if you ask me.

Many a young person has gotten the hots for someone and let the attraction run its course without getting married, whether that’s two months or two years. The sizzle finally fades, the couple realizes they have little else in common and they move on. Most never regret the moving on part. Then ten years down the road you see someone you were once so crazy and think, “wow, dodged a bullet.” Or even just, “yeah, no.” 

Imo, the IBLP-encouraged quickie marriages of young people is a major way to keep members in the cult. Young married couples quickly start having babies and find out how hard it’d be to get out of a marriage they no longer want to be in. I don’t know what the divorce rate is for IBLP couples, but if it’s low, it’s not because they don’t want to divorce, it’s due to the difficulty of getting out from under it all. Easier perhaps to stay and tolerate. 

I just hope they wait a few years to have kids. Because if they do, they might have time to realize they got married too young and can divorce before bringing kids into it. 

[Sullie06]

I do think the key is waiting to have kids. Which these fundies rarely do. The one's who wait seem to have stronger marriages as well, though it's hard to tell with all the keeping sweet crap. 

My hubby and I were married young started dating at 17 and 18, engaged at 19 and 20 and married at 21 and 23. But were not fundies, we got married because after being together for 5 year, we knew we were each other's person. And we didn't have our first child until I was 30 so 7 years of marriage first. But even then having kids is hard on a marriage. I couldn't imagine doing that at 20, barely knowing myself, barely being a couple. We would have 100% not made it. 

[HereticHick]

21 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Not all of them are doomed but stats are not on their side. The biggest reason these fundies get married young is so they can have sex without religious guilt and shame. I would never want my child to legally tie themselves to someone at 18 just so they can have sex. I am completely fine with my kids having consensual responsible (meaning birth control/condoms) sex at 18 without marriage. 

I think there is also a lot of pressure nowadays on fundy Christians to get married early and start having white Christian babies. Lots of quiverfull sentiment even if they aren't saying it out loud.

[Just like the pressure on ultraOrthodox Jews to marry early and start breeding ASAP]

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I think there is also a lot of pressure nowadays on fundy Christians to get married early and start having white Christian babies. Lots of quiverfull sentiment even if they aren't saying it out loud.

[Just like the pressure on ultraOrthodox Jews to marry early and start breeding ASAP]

Michelle Seewald got engaged on her 18th birthday and married at 18. She and her husband didn’t have their first until a month after their 3rd wedding anniversary. It would be good if Ethan did that as well. 

[viii]

Ethan looks a lot like his brother. Let's hope he doesn't procreate like his brother does. 

[Bobology]

I'm waiting for snarky comments about what appears to be a social media handle for Ethan's wife, so I'll start... godgirlmyla. I'm not religious but it seems blasphemous to me. Plus it's weird and stupid... just... ridiculous.

[JDuggs]

21 minutes ago, Bobology said:

I'm waiting for snarky comments about what appears to be a social media handle for Ethan's wife, so I'll start... godgirlmyla. I'm not religious but it seems blasphemous to me. Plus it's weird and stupid... just... ridiculous.

I guess I never thought about too much. I think being a “God girl” is just a big part of her identity. I don’t know if it’s always been her IG name, but she started on IG over six years ago and she just turned 18. She just strikes me an enthusiastic youth group kind of teenager.