John and Alyssa Webster 13: The Blessed Boy Arrived

[SassyPants]

Alyssa is literally treating Rhett like a male baby doll. And, yes, Rhett is adorable, but dang girl, grow up. I wonder how many outfits she has “tried on” Rhett in the last month?

[llucie]

So Allie got a book and a video about ballet for her birthday, so she can learn how to do it from the video of course. I had hopes Alyssa would get Allie into actual ballet lessons but guess not.

[fluffernutter]

Hmmm I bet they will happily pay for Rhett to get any sporty lessons he may show an interest in. As long as it's masculine of course. 

[VooDooChild]

On 4/17/2023 at 5:42 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I saw this on Zillowtastrophies and decided Alyssa will probably do this to Rhett’s room. It’s a dugout bed. Because Rhett must love baseball no matter what.

Wait a minute!......That child's name is Broden?   Bro-den.  It sounds like another name for man cave.

I second the chicken coop comment.  Not at all comfy looking for the poor child.

[SassyPants]

15 hours ago, llucie said:

So Allie got a book and a video about ballet for her birthday, so she can learn how to do it from the video of course. I had hopes Alyssa would get Allie into actual ballet lessons but guess not.

OK- I am going to WK for the no lessons for any kid in the family at this time because: THEY HAVE TOO MANY YOUNG KIDS (which is the problem). When you have kid, after kid, after kid, folks tend, for convenience and likely sanity sake, to treat them as one monolith as opposed to individuals. Would it be fair for Allie to have ballet and Lexi and Zoey to be deprived of a lesson as well? Would Alyssa and John have the time and money to foster each child’s individual interest? Would it be worse to be forced to take ballet, when you really want to play soccer, because your older sister likes ballet? AND in terms of the parents, have their couple’s time, a clean house, exercise, hair and makeup time affected? Maybe if each child had to wait until age 8 to  have an extracurricular? I don’t know. She (because let’s face it, he isn’t helping that much) would still need to get Allie to the lesson and either stay (with 4 other kids, including a toddler and infant) or drop her off and turn right around to pick her up. Yep, it all sucks because THEY HAVE TOO MANY KIDS, but that’s the reality of having TOO MANY KIDS.

Edited April 22, 2023 by SassyPants

[Giraffe]

27 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

OK- I am going to WK for the no lessons for any kid in the family at this time because: THEY HAVE TOO MANY YOUNG KIDS (which is the problem). When you have kid, after kid, after kid, folks tend, for convenience and likely sanity sake, to treat them as one monolith as opposed to individuals.

The problem isn’t that they have too many kids (which they do), the problem is even with their too many kids they will give Rhett (and any other boys they have) into real activities while the girls get told they can’t because there isn’t time or money or rides or whatever else. But they’ll make sure Rhett gets to participate. 

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

The problem isn’t that they have too many kids (which they do), the problem is even with their too many kids they will give Rhett (and any other boys they have) into real activities while the girls get told they can’t because there isn’t time or money or rides or whatever else. But they’ll make sure Rhett gets to participate. 

Yet to be seen. And if they don’t have any other kids, of course they’ll have more time (and likely money) to foster Rhett’s interests. Frankly, I don’t think it has to do with the sex of the kids. I think Rhett will be exposed to sports through John and Church. It’s not likely that he’ll be given any more latitude outside of acceptable, as determined by his parents, activities. As an example, if Rhett wanted to take ballet lessons or to play in a heavy metal band, I doubt John and Alyssa would be on board just because he is a boy. I remember a recent Youtube(s) where the Websters fielded questions about their values. John was very clear (no alcohol, no Santa…). I don’t think it will be a free for all in terms of acceptable activities for Rhett, even though he has a penis.

[Giraffe]

24 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

 I don’t think it will be a free for all in terms of acceptable activities for Rhett, even though he has a penis.

Of course not. Even being the golden child will not save him from being placed into their boy box from their fictional version of the 1950’s. 

[SassyPants]

1 minute ago, Giraffe said:

Of course not. Even being the golden child will not save him from being placed into their boy box from their fictional version of the 1950’s. 

I do think that John will likely make sports a priority for Rhett because he does so for himself. Alyssa, OTOH, does not have such extracurriculars for herself. The girls did get swimming lessons 2 years ago. I do wonder if Allie had been a boy, would John prioritize a sport? We will never know. I’m sure if Alyssa insisted on ballet for Allie, John would very likely agree. I just think at this point, it’s just 1 more thing on the to do list which just doesn’t get prioritized. I totally understand it. I’m not sure that if I had 5 kids, including a 2 YO and a newborn, that I’d prioritize a ballet lesson either. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

If I had 5 kids, I would prioritize public school and preschool so I could get a break from them every once in awhile! 

[gobucks]

All they would have to do is let the little kids watch a video in the car for 30 minutes while Allie goes into a ballet class. It wouldn't be that hard. They are just selfish. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, gobucks said:

All they would have to do is let the little kids watch a video in the car for 30 minutes while Allie goes into a ballet class. It wouldn't be that hard. They are just selfish. 

For me, I would not think it fair for only Allie(8) to have an extra activity. If she had 1, so should Lexie(6) and Zoey(5). And if different interests were accommodated, well…it’s all just too much. Selfish is having 5 kids to begin with, IMO. 

[gobucks]

My kids started extracurriculars very young. 18 month old tumble tots and swimming. They could be doing things like this for each child. That is the problem with having so many kids. The mom can't even leave the house with them on her own to do these things. Preschool things and homeschool kid activities run during the day all the time. She just can't get together enough to have this type of schedule. Heaven forbid she leave her house with all of her own children to do an activity. 

[nvmbr02]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

For me, I would not think it fair for only Allie(8) to have an extra activity. If she had 1, so should Lexie(6) and Zoey(5). And if different interests were accommodated, well…it’s all just too much. Selfish is having 5 kids to begin with, IMO. 

I agree. Even if they waited until each girl was 8 to start their activity, does the older one have to stop when the next starts? Because if not, you soon have a lot of time sucked up by activities, even if you limit them. I only had 3 kids, and we limited them to swim lessons plus one activity of their choice at a time. My oldest did riding lessons, my youngest chose dance, and my middle rotated between various seasonal sports. That, plus the swim lessons, which were all on the same night with overlapping times, meant we were busy pretty much every evening. As the kids got older, most of the activities switched from 1-2 nights a week to 3-4. That meant not only were we busy every night, but it meant eating meals on the go/in the car and weekends being filled with competitions, tournaments, and recitals. I was not sad to see that chapter of my life close as the kids' interests changed and they were able to drive.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think all 3 of the oldest girls could probably take a ballet class. I wouldn’t be surprised if they could all take the same class. As beginners.

[nvmbr02]

32 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think all 3 of the oldest girls could probably take a ballet class. I wouldn’t be surprised if they could all take the same class. As beginners.

Yes, they probably could, which is a huge time saver for the parents. But not so great if one of the girls prefers soccer or tennis or whatever. My oldest went to one dance class when she was 5 and hated it. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, nvmbr02 said:

Yes, they probably could, which is a huge time saver for the parents. But not so great if one of the girls prefers soccer or tennis or whatever. My oldest went to one dance class when she was 5 and hated it. 

When they are that little, it’s all about trying things out. So they can all try it out. And if one or two hated it, they could stop. But Alyssa could at least try it out. But she won’t. 

[llucie]

48 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When they are that little, it’s all about trying things out. So they can all try it out. And if one or two hated it, they could stop. But Alyssa could at least try it out. But she won’t. 

Couldnt agree more. For me the excuse that she is busy with 5 kids doesnt work because most parents manage to get their kids to school and pick them up 5 days a week on top of having themselves to go to work. Some parents do that and also take them to several activities during the week,  Getting her kids out of the house once a week so they could do some activity is not asking too much.

[raayx01]

1 hour ago, llucie said:

Couldnt agree more. For me the excuse that she is busy with 5 kids doesnt work because most parents manage to get their kids to school and pick them up 5 days a week on top of having themselves to go to work. Some parents do that and also take them to several activities during the week,  Getting her kids out of the house once a week so they could do some activity is not asking too much.

I mean John gets to play softball, why cant Allie and Lexi pick up a sport.

[fluffernutter]

I wasn't a parent that thought their kids had to be in a zillion different activities, but if they showed an interest in something athletic, we supported it. Same with instruments and girl scouts. Three girls, so that worked out to be viola, cello, flute, soccer, dance, and cheer/tennis. Plus one really liked scouts. That's seven activities outside of school. We did a whole lot of running those days, and sometimes carpooled with other parents or had the grandparents pitch in. I wouldn't change it- it gave them interests, one is a professional musician now, and it was fun for them. I am glad we had three and no more though. It was busy and some of those were pricy, although some were free other than equipment/uniforms. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

I mean John gets to play softball, why cant Allie and Lexi pick up a sport.

I played softball for about 10 years when I as a kid. In the younger ages softball is for girls. Adult softball is usually coed. So yes, the girls could play softball. 

[marmalade]

42 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I played softball for about 10 years when I as a kid. In the younger ages softball is for girls. Adult softball is usually coed. So yes, the girls could play softball. 

But they won't. 

[CanadianMamam]

I have 3 kids and activities are the bane of our existence. Thankfully my mom and step-fad are local and able to jump in and help because otherwise there are definitely conflicts and we only do two lessons a season per kid. 

[rebeccawriter01]

3 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I have 3 kids and activities are the bane of our existence. Thankfully my mom and step-fad are local and able to jump in and help because otherwise there are definitely conflicts and we only do two lessons a season per kid. 

When my two were younger I signed them up for activities together. The way we did it was we did one spring and one fall activity. One child chose one and one chose the next time. Most of the time they actually agreed. 

Now that they are older they do things separately. They also now take part in the decision making about transportation and costs, etc. The oldest does ballet/tap and wants to try cheer. The younger one plays softball and doesn't like the "soft stuff like dance." She wants to do a travel team. So I have sat down with both to talk about how we can make that work. 

Alyssa and John could sign the girls up with community programs that aren't as intensive. Six weeks of dance, six weeks of soccer, etc. It doesn't have to be as much of a hardship. 

[Melissa1977]

16 hours ago, gobucks said:

All they would have to do is let the little kids watch a video in the car for 30 minutes while Allie goes into a ballet class. It wouldn't be that hard. They are just selfish. 

Do you have kids?  It's not 30 minutes watching a video. It's having 5 kids (including a baby and a toddler) dressed, toilet-ready, then in a car, then waiting during the class, then car again. One or two times a week. Baby may need bottle or a diaoer change on between, toddler is bored, the older girls complain they want their own activity too...

Websters are selfish. But having 5 kids in a row and living in a suburb makes things difficult. 

 

18 hours ago, Giraffe said:

The problem isn’t that they have too many kids (which they do), the problem is even with their too many kids they will give Rhett (and any other boys they have) into real activities while the girls get told they can’t because there isn’t time or money or rides or whatever else. But they’ll make sure Rhett gets to participate. 

Rhett will play softball or whatever John says, not any other activity. And he will do it IF he is the youngest, so the girls will stay alone at home if needed.