John and Alyssa Webster 13: The Blessed Boy Arrived

[GreenBeans]

5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I think AW has hit the tipping point. She looks so tired and as if she has no more shits to give. Most of us don’t blame her for looking rough and maybe throwing out a passive aggressive comment or post. NOW, they need to stop reproducing. They figured BC out when Alyssa was sick (heart issues), and managed to prevent pregnancy. They need to make that a permanent solution.

I don’t think they will. Did you look at her first slide? All about how she always wanted to have lots of kids growing up and she’s loving her life right now so much. Then all the other slides were about what a struggle everything is, how she basically still needs to figure out and get up the courage to go out with all  five kids at the same time. But that doesn’t mean they will draw the conclusion of saying “okay, five is enough”. The cognitive dissonance is strong indeed.

[Dominionatrix]

So Alyssa is open to “both sides” of Shiny Happy People but also is not willing to actually view it. I’m not surprised she doesn’t want to watch it, but this is such a good example of completely disingenuous both sides—ing.

[Mrs Ms]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Currently the IBLP Website only has four men listed on their board. Tim Levendusky (president), Gil Bates, David York, and John Bechtle. 

Thank you for doing the legwork for me that I should have done! I was in a rush, but accuracy still matters.

So maybe she and John could voice an actual opinion without a guaranteed drop in income. Makes her answer look even worse!

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Currently the IBLP Website only has four men listed on their board. Tim Levendusky (president), Gil Bates, David York, and John Bechtle. 

This makes it even harder to believe that The Doco didn't didn't cover the Bates. One is still on the board and they are not as known as the duggars but still known. Maybe the Bates prettier and less scandalous life (compared to the duggars) really saved them. But really one quick look could have dragged up some scandals not Josh level but we have the racism room the george floyd comments the starving horses...

[marmalade]

11 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

This makes it even harder to believe that The Doco didn't didn't cover the Bates. One is still on the board and they are not as known as the duggars but still known. Maybe the Bates prettier and less scandalous life (compared to the duggars) really saved them. But really one quick look could have dragged up some scandals not Josh level but we have the racism room the george floyd comments the starving horses...

In the producer's AMA, didn't she say that she wanted to dive into the Bateses if there is a Part 2? Or did I imagine that? Entirely possible. 😂

[AussieKrissy]

11 minutes ago, marmalade said:

In the producer's AMA, didn't she say that she wanted to dive into the Bateses if there is a Part 2? Or did I imagine that? Entirely possible. 😂

fingers crossed  

 

11 minutes ago, marmalade said:

In the producer's AMA, didn't she say that she wanted to dive into the Bateses if there is a Part 2? Or did I imagine that? Entirely possible. 😂

but in saying that would there be enough for just them or would they do more victims of the cult to bulk it up 

what does everyone think?

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

fingers crossed  

 

but in saying that would there be enough for just them or would they do more victims of the cult to bulk it up 

what does everyone think?

I bet they could find more instances of racism amongst IBLP literature. Or at least white saviorism. 

[Melissa1977]

After having Maci, Alyssa looked great. She was (apparently) organised and energetic, she even moved when Maci was 2 months old! But the 5th baby is clearly too much for her. She looks tired and not very happy IMO. I wonder if she has some kind of baby blues or is just exhausted, but something is off with her.

What worries me is that she always says she is impatient with the girls. Now, if she is not fine, her impatience and exigence must be at top level.

[GreenBeans]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

What worries me is that she always says she is impatient with the girls. Now, if she is not fine, her impatience and exigence must be at top level.

I can tell when I am exhausted that I get impatient and annoyed with my son more easily (I guess every parent knows the feeling). But I do try my best not to let him notice. I let my husband take over, or I take a deep breath and remind myself that he is only being his completely normal little boy self, that this is NOT his fault, that it is NOT him being annoying, but ME being exhausted.

But it does take a lot of effort, self reflection and awareness (built at least partly through education on what is normal child development and behavior, i.e. understanding that my son is  not being noisy / disobedient / stubborn “on purpose”). And this is only everyday life with ONE child, with a husband that takes over lots of childcare responsibilities and me having a healthy balance of a job outside the home rather than 24/7 childcare responsibilities. It must be so much tougher and more overwhelming in Alyssa’s situation.

[Keys]

Did anyone see the Instagram story Alyssa posted yesterday, of Rhett sleeping?? I don’t follow her, but saw on Reddit that she posted a story showing him asleep in his crib… in a Moses basket, on what looked like a snuggle me, ON HIS STOMACH, with a blanket on top of him, and toys around the basket in the crib!!! It made me gasp 😱 As a mom of a baby who would not sleep unless she was on her belly, in our arms, or right beside us in bed, I GET IT that the safe sleep rules can be hard to follow to a tee. But like, all these things, seriously?! It looked like his nose was right against the side of the snuggle me. Terrifying!!! Is she really this careless? Trying to troll? Or what?? So concerning. 😞

[GreenBeans]

3 hours ago, Keys said:

Did anyone see the Instagram story Alyssa posted yesterday, of Rhett sleeping?? I don’t follow her, but saw on Reddit that she posted a story showing him asleep in his crib… in a Moses basket, on what looked like a snuggle me, ON HIS STOMACH, with a blanket on top of him, and toys around the basket in the crib!!! It made me gasp 😱 As a mom of a baby who would not sleep unless she was on her belly, in our arms, or right beside us in bed, I GET IT that the safe sleep rules can be hard to follow to a tee. But like, all these things, seriously?! It looked like his nose was right against the side of the snuggle me. Terrifying!!! Is she really this careless? Trying to troll? Or what?? So concerning. 😞

I did not see it, but it doesn’t surprise me. Fundies are all about protecting the unborn - once they are born, they are left to fend for themselves. You can’t tell me there’s any way Alyssa is able to adequately supervise her four (also still very young) daughters while taking care of a baby (and a household… and Instagram stories… and influencer advertising work…).

This is not specific to Alyssa, it’s the same for all fundies. Children are a commodity. The more the better. It’s all about looking pretty and cleaned up on instagram (or church, for those who aren’t influencers). It’s not about what is BEST for the children. Investing time and making the effort to be educated (about nutrition, education, healthcare…) just isn’t on their list. Which is why they don’t bother about things like safe sleeping advice.

[Melissa1977]

8 hours ago, Keys said:

Did anyone see the Instagram story Alyssa posted yesterday, of Rhett sleeping?? I don’t follow her, but saw on Reddit that she posted a story showing him asleep in his crib… in a Moses basket, on what looked like a snuggle me, ON HIS STOMACH, with a blanket on top of him, and toys around the basket in the crib!!! It made me gasp 😱 As a mom of a baby who would not sleep unless she was on her belly, in our arms, or right beside us in bed, I GET IT that the safe sleep rules can be hard to follow to a tee. But like, all these things, seriously?! It looked like his nose was right against the side of the snuggle me. Terrifying!!! Is she really this careless? Trying to troll? Or what?? So concerning. 😞

She used to bottlefeed Maci in a very strange way. Baby and mom were on the floor. Mom sitting with her back to the baby. She fed Maci by turning her arm backwads, without looking at her. Considering she was a newborn I was concerned, both for safety and for emotional issues. 

Sometimes Alyssa seems to be poorly attached. 

Well, I know you are talking about a different question, but somehow it reminded me of baby Maci.

[Keys]

3 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

She used to bottlefeed Maci in a very strange way. Baby and mom were on the floor. Mom sitting with her back to the baby. She fed Maci by turning her arm backwads, without looking at her. Considering she was a newborn I was concerned, both for safety and for emotional issues. 

Sometimes Alyssa seems to be poorly attached. 

Well, I know you are talking about a different question, but somehow it reminded me of baby Maci.

Wow, what was her reasoning for feeding that way? 

Here is the screenshot of the story, by the way. I think she must have deleted it. 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I had really bad postpartum anxiety so just seeing my kid sleeping like that would have sent me over. I was so worried about sleeping the safest way. 

[gobucks]

5 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

She used to bottlefeed Maci in a very strange way. Baby and mom were on the floor. Mom sitting with her back to the baby. She fed Maci by turning her arm backwads, without looking at her. Considering she was a newborn I was concerned, both for safety and for emotional issues. 

She fed Rhett in a strange manner in a recent video as well. He was just draped across the couch with his head on her leg... Lexi and Allie took turns feeding him while Alyssa did something else with her hands. They also showed John feeding him while he was completely flat. I was taught never to feed a baby completely flat. You are supposed to let gravity help you out there, especially for reflux and spitting up. 

[formergothardite]

Wasn’t Michelle Duggar shown feeding a baby in a weird, dangerous and detached way?

[AussieKrissy]

41 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Wasn’t Michelle Duggar shown feeding a baby in a weird, dangerous and detached way?

Wasn't it tinned peas or beans straight out of the can to a laying down Jenni/Jordyn?

[Melissa1977]

Babies are supposed to sleep longer and deeper in the belly position. But it's very dangerous! It's dangerous in a normal matress but even more dangerous in that matress Rhett is sleeping.

I bet Ayssa priorises HER rest and doesn't want to think about safety. I worked 4 times before, doesn't it? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Babies are supposed to sleep longer and deeper in the belly position. But it's very dangerous! It's dangerous in a normal matress but even more dangerous in that matress Rhett is sleeping.

I bet Ayssa priorises HER rest and doesn't want to think about safety. I worked 4 times before, doesn't it? 

The thing is, I prioritized my sleep by stopping at two. Sleep is so important. Alyssa needs to sleep. But she also has 5 kids 8 and under. So she will do dangerous things if it means she will get more sleep. I’m guessing her bodily drive to sleep is causing her to make horrible decisions that put her son at risk. I think young fundie moms do many awful things in desperation. 

[0 kids n not countin]

IMO she would be much happier if the were *allowed* to have an outside job or interests, such as Carlin, Josie, and Whitney do, failing that, if she were *allowed* to send her kids to school so she wasn't with them 24/7.  It would also help if, like Josie and Carlin, she only had 2 kids (or maybe 3 tops).  I don't doubt she loves her kids, but of all the sisters and sisters- in-law, she presents (on social media anyway) as cold and distant with them, whereas the others present as enjoying their kids and happy to be spending time with them. I suppose, in part, it could just be her personality, and not expressing her joy the way her sisters do. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

IMO she would be much happier if the were *allowed* to have an outside job or interests, such as Carlin, Josie, and Whitney do, failing that, if she were *allowed* to send her kids to school so she wasn't with them 24/7.  It would also help if, like Josie and Carlin, she only had 2 kids (or maybe 3 tops).  I don't doubt she loves her kids, but of all the sisters and sisters- in-law, she presents (on social media anyway) as cold and distant with them, whereas the others present as enjoying their kids and happy to be spending time with them. I suppose, in part, it could just be her personality, and not expressing her joy the way her sisters do. 

I think a lot of Gothard fundies were taught to detach from their feelings growing up. So Alyssa doesn’t really surprise me. 

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

IMO she would be much happier if the were *allowed* to have an outside job or interests

She had the cleaning business she loved, but had to quit because health issues (she had the heart surgery), plus she used to workout out of home. So she is *allowed* to do things out of home, but a mix of health issues and too many babies are doing it impossible right now. Considering she succesfully used birth control when she was sick, one can say that she is (relatively) free and taking her own decisions.

[CaptainFunderpants]

10 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

*snip* Considering she succesfully used birth control when she was sick, one can say that she is (relatively) free and taking her own decisions.

I don't know about that. John seems really controlling. She was allowed to use birth control because it would likely literally kill her if she didn't, but now I don't know that she could. It also seems like it would be relatively impossible for her to sneak out every few months to get a shot of depo, and John would be livid if he found out.

I feel like I'm putting things on him that aren't necessarily there, but I'm starting to lean toward verbal abuse and Steve Maxwell tendencies. Alyssa seems really unhappy and detached, much like Teri, and yet it's just more more more.

For a while we thought they'd stop at 6, but now it seems like they could easily hit 10. And I don't know that John will truly be happy about it either, because on the one hand he wants tons of kids to show his Godly family, but on the other hand the more kids he has the more pressure he's under at work.

[SassyPants]

I don’t think the Websters will have more than 6 children. John comes from a family of 6 and in the past, A and J mentioned having 6 (J also mentioned that it was up to A), and I think they will stop there. Most people would be overwhelmed and testy with 5 kids under 9, so John is likely in the majority. I think they both have unrealistic expectations for a large, young family. 

I actually think Chad has far bigger problems on his hands.  Erin and her expectations are going to kill that man.

[Expectopatronus]

On 6/16/2023 at 12:11 AM, Melissa1977 said:

Babies are supposed to sleep longer and deeper in the belly position. But it's very dangerous! It's dangerous in a normal matress but even more dangerous in that matress Rhett is sleeping.

I bet Ayssa priorises HER rest and doesn't want to think about safety. I worked 4 times before, doesn't it? 

My kid slept on my chest on her tummy during the day. I kinda figured I could monitor her breathing if she was on me but in her bassinet it was a sleep sack on back only. Drove my mom crazy as she believed that tummy was best. Side and tummy were what was taught in the 80s so I get it.