Sister Wives 8: And Another One Down, Another One Bites the Dust?

[St.Clara]

Growing up, I was used to not getting any emotional attention from my father and his family of origin. If there was something they could boast about (e.g. good grades) I would get applause but I never got what I now understand as love. Also when I was not successful and struggling with something I could not expect empathy or support. So it was better to hide my vulnerability, if at all possible.

After I had grown up I found a point where I could have a decent relationship with my father by not expecting anything from him, and that worked. We do have interests in common (music and theater, for example), and he would occasionally invite me and pay for the tickets and we had good conversations and a good time. I just had to make sure that there was never anything I needed or wanted from him, ever. When he gave me something that was nice or when he was happy because I made his favourite cake for his birthday I felt the relationship was as good as it could be.

In the end, I went no contact with him because of how he treated my siblings from his second marriage. (His second wife is my age and from the Philippines, i. e. huge power imbalance.) I could not not need him to be friendly with my siblings. I could not stay silent when he was not. I could not pretend that all was well.

I am telling this story because I think I understand why and how Janelle staid and also, why she left. She managed to stay in the family by being emotionally independent and taking care of herself. She survived on practically no emotional support or appreciation from Kody. (As Christine said, she „filled her own damn tank“.) But when she witnessed how her children were treated by Kody and how they suffered because of it, she was not able (and willing) to take it any longer.

Edited September 30, 2023 by St.Clara

[Cults-r-us]

On 9/26/2023 at 1:53 PM, TN-peach said:

Don't you want a piece of those six pack abs and pecs?  🤢

(I would never do this in real life, but man would I be tempted to shave his head if I lived with him.  Get rid of those god-awful curls). 

The Sister Wives version of Samson and Delilah?

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 hours ago, St.Clara said:

Growing up, I was used to not getting any emotional attention from my father and his family of origin. If there was something they could boast about (e.g. good grades) I would get applause but I never got what I now understand as love. Also when I was not successful and struggling with something I could not expect empathy or support. So it was better to hide my vulnerability, if at all possible.

After I had grown up I found a point where I could have a decent relationship with my father by not expecting anything from him, and that worked. We do have interests in common (music and theater, for example), and he would occasionally invite me and pay for the tickets and we had good conversations and a good time. I just had to make sure that there was never anything I needed or wanted from him, ever. When he gave me something that was nice or when he was happy because I made his favourite cake for his birthday I felt the relationship was as good as it could be.

In the end, I went no contact with him because of how he treated my siblings from his second marriage. (His second wife is my age and from the Philippines, i. e. huge power imbalance.) I could not not need him to be friendly with my siblings. I could not stay silent when he was not. I could not pretend that all was well.

I am telling this story because I think I understand why and how Janelle staid and also, why she left. She managed to stay in the family by being emotionally independent and taking care of herself. She survived on practically no emotional support or appreciation from Kody. (As Christine said, she „filled her own damn tank“.) But when she witnessed how her children were treated by Kody and how they suffered because of it, she was not able (and willing) to take it any longer.

I’ve always understood Janell because I’m the same way as you and Janell. I’ve always just depended on myself and I don’t ask for anything when I actually SHOULD. I don’t ask much from my husband. But if he ignored our children or treated them poorly, I would be out the door. I have no tolerance for that. I would be so incredibly disgusted if my husband treated my children the way Kody treats his. I wouldn’t even be able to look him in the eye.

[apandaaries]

22 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

 

     Kody married Meri and they agreed they wanted a polygamist family. As we all know (it is sad we all know this because it means we are too immersed in SW lore), in polygamy the head wife brings in subsequent spouses. But that is not what happened with Janell.

     Kody met Janell as a customer in her place of work. He began seeing her behind Meri's back. It is possible as newcomers to AUB they did not appreciate the particulars of polyg courting. It is likely they did not care. In the secular world it is cheating, in the polyg world it is not following customs but ultimately men  do what they do.

     

I agree with the comments about polygamy forcing women to deny their feelings and suffer as a result of polygamist doctrine.
But, I also have comments for the above material. I can’t think of any polygamous situation where the head wife looks for new ones. Some men would marry without telling their other wives until later (Irene Spencer has great books on the LeBaron cult, related to many of their families). Meri liked Robyn (or so they say), but that was unusual. Christine picked Kody after own revelations/dreams/something.

And AFAIK, Kody met Janelle when she was married to Meri’s brother. They don’t speak much about the divorce, but something didn’t work out there. For whatever reasons, apparently she approached Kody about joining their pre-polygamy-but-praying-about-it nest. The combination of their tiny living quarters, the inevitable shaking, and Janelle’s fertility destroyed any hope of a relationship between J and M. 
The Mormon church still has ongoing issues with polygamy. Even mainstream Mormons have questions about how that doctrine became undone (Tara Westover’s Educated relays an interesting conversation about this from her BYU days).  They have adopted a strange stance that doesn’t fully fit with their written religious texts. 
 

Their conversion isn’t wildly surprising since so many family members have been or still are involved in that practice. I think they all began as true believers and made sacrifices accordingly, and often with their families’ encouragement and blessings.  Feeling jealous and angry, but suppressing it all with a smiley face is proper polygamist action. They’re (the women, of course) “purifying” themselves of these jealous emotions on earth in preparation for their next round on their own planet.  For polygamists, the negativity is expected and normal. 

Kody blew it all up with obvious, blatant favoritism. Had he not, they might all still be with him. Weirdly, this seems appropriate: now he gets to live with his loyal wife (and she with him, yuck), and the other women are finally free. 

[ifosterkittens]

34 minutes ago, apandaaries said:

Meri liked Robyn (or so they say), but that was unusual.

I suspect the main reason the Browns pursued a fourth wife was for the TV show. It made for good story lines, but if TLC had decided they weren't interested in the Browns I don't know that the marriage would have happened. I don't think Janelle and Christine were super close or really good friends when the show first started, but I bet they were united in their frustrations towards Meri. I know they didn't have much money before the show, but the complaint was Meri and Leon always had it a little better while Janelle, Christine and their children struggled more financially. Christine seemed to be the one responsible for her and Janelle's kids while Janelle worked, and Meri could just focus on Leon.

My guess is Meri saw the writing on the wall and made a calculated decision, the show required a fourth wife, and she was going to make sure she found a woman who would be on her side, an ally, someone who didn't see her (Meri) as the bad guy. Kody loved being a father to young children, Meri clearly tried to have more children but wasn't successful, Janelle was done at 6, and Christine was pregnant with number 6 when the show started, and that was likely her last. Meri found a younger fertile woman who could continue having children since that mattered to Kody, and the original three wives were likely done having children. 

[fluffernutter]

I watched Sunday's episode. Meri, Robin, and Robin's eyebrows got together so Meri could tell her she is moving the clothing business to the bed and breakfast. Meanwhile, Janelle and Christine meet at the restaurant and Janelle tells Christine she is done with kody. Small little tidbit with the kids and kody taking the dirt bikes out to play. Nothing new that I picked up on. Next week's episode looks like some time has lapsed, praise be. kody and Janelle get together for her birthday, and Meri tells him she is moving the clothing thing to the bab. He says in a talking head he feels nothing. 🙄 

[freethemall]

8 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

I watched Sunday's episode. Meri, Robin, and Robin's eyebrows got together so Meri could tell her she is moving the clothing business to the bed and breakfast. Meanwhile, Janelle and Christine meet at the restaurant and Janelle tells Christine she is done with kody. Small little tidbit with the kids and kody taking the dirt bikes out to play. Nothing new that I picked up on. Next week's episode looks like some time has lapsed, praise be. kody and Janelle get together for her birthday, and Meri tells him she is moving the clothing thing to the bab. He says in a talking head he feels nothing. 🙄 

"Clothing business" is such a BS way to refer to her selling Lululemon.

I just finally watched the new season episodes and had to skip a bunch because Dear God was it boring - all that yacking and photo/video flashbacks of 5-6 episodes could've been in just 2.

[TN-peach]

Christine was so excited when Janelle was saying it was over but I appreciate Christine also pilling back and realizing that Janelle isn't quite as done or has processed as much as she has. 

I am looking forward to next week when we finally hear Kody finally say that the only reason he has been keeping the other 2 wives around is to keep Robyn happy.  Finally, the truth was said out loud. 

Meri also told Robyn if you want me around if you have to call me.  Don't say you want me around and then don't tell me when the kids have something or not call for a family picnic.  Pick up the damn phone and call me. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I was just thinking. Christine’s fiancé has 8 kids and 10 grandkids. Christine has 6 kids and 3 grandkids. And Christine told her fiancé that Janelle comes along with her. They are a package deal. Meaning she will likely be around for holidays too. Janelle has 6 kids and 3 grandkids. Just imagine Christine’s holidays. Man that will be crowded! Of course not everyone would be able to make it. But even half would be insane. At least they are all used to big families. 

[Mrs Ms]

Christine and David are married. Only a few photos of the couple in the article - non of the kids or grands. Mentions that Paedon and her dad walked her down the aisle but doesn’t detail the girls (just that “the kids” were also going to walk the aisle)

 

https://people.com/sister-wives-christine-brown-married-david-woolley-sexy-elegant-wedding-photos-exclusive-8348339

[Coconut Flan]

I laughed that People called that wedding elegant.  Who wrote that story for them?  Better than her first "wedding," but elegant it was not based on the story and the photos.

[JermajestyDuggar]

It’s weird to think this is her first legal marriage. 

[Letgo]

Is Christine’s new husband LDS? I thought I read that he was a while back. But this was not an LDS marriage, nor does Christine seem to be interested in joining any church. Would a second marriage to a non-Mormon be okay for David because he’s already “sealed” to his first wife?

[Cults-r-us]

On 10/3/2023 at 10:23 PM, freethemall said:

"Clothing business" is such a BS way to refer to her selling Lululemon.

I just finally watched the new season episodes and had to skip a bunch because Dear God was it boring - all that yacking and photo/video flashbacks of 5-6 episodes could've been in just 2.

I have enjoyed the Flagstaff scenery but for crying in the night: this SW season is a snooze. Christine's wedding venue is so beautiful. Christine, Janell and daughters are stunning.. The cakes are especially beautiful. 

[Mama Mia]

On 10/9/2023 at 12:54 PM, Letgo said:

Is Christine’s new husband LDS? I thought I read that he was a while back. But this was not an LDS marriage, nor does Christine seem to be interested in joining any church. Would a second marriage to a non-Mormon be okay for David because he’s already “sealed” to his first wife?

I think he’s widowed? How does that work. If he’s still Mormon does Christine just join him and his first wife in Heaven? So she has a new sister wife she never met in life? Seems like it could get complicated. 
 

In the latest episode- Cory wanting Meri to live in his “barndaminium” oooffff. 
 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

I think he’s widowed? How does that work. If he’s still Mormon does Christine just join him and his first wife in Heaven? So she has a new sister wife she never met in life? Seems like it could get complicated. 
 

In the latest episode- Cory wanting Meri to live in his “barndaminium” oooffff. 
 

 

 

His being a widower makes me want to know what his 8 kids think. Some have refused to be shown publicly. From my experience, the children of widows and widowers tend to have a hard time when the parent remarries. 

[Mama Mia]

14 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

His being a widower makes me want to know what his 8 kids think. Some have refused to be shown publicly. From my experience, the children of widows and widowers tend to have a hard time when the parent remarries. 

I dug up an article where he gives a little background info. He’s been a widower for a dozen years, 6 of the kids are married, 2 single. All the stories are about he, Christine and Truley taking trips to see his family, or vacation etc —- so I’m guessing he has no kids still at home with him.  His first wife suffered from depression and committed suicide, so another tragic layer for everyone to deal with.  If I was any of the kids, of either of them, I’d probably be very happy they each found someone they are so in love with - but also a slightly concerned at the speed of the marriage. 

[Natalie22]

43 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

I think he’s widowed? How does that work. If he’s still Mormon does Christine just join him and his first wife in Heaven? So she has a new sister wife she never met in life? Seems like it could get complicated. 
 

In the latest episode- Cory wanting Meri to live in his “barndaminium” oooffff. 
 

 

 

Yup. While the LDS church no longer practices polygamy on Earth, they still believe polygamy will be practiced in heaven. This is why men can be sealed through marriage in the temple to multiple women but women can only be sealed to one man. I believe that the current prophet of the church is sealed to two women in a similar situation to David. 

I will say that there is no indication that Christine has converted to the LDS church nor that her and David are going to be sealed in the temple. The polygamy thing only matters if they are sealed in a temple and it does not matter that they are married in another format. Their marriage might just be for time instead of for time and all eternity which is what sealing is.

[Cults-r-us]

On 10/14/2023 at 12:02 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

His being a widower makes me want to know what his 8 kids think. Some have refused to be shown publicly. From my experience, the children of widows and widowers tend to have a hard time when the parent remarries. 

I wonder what Gwen thinks and if she has a bee in her bonnet. She seems to have some struggles with her mom these days.

      Kody and Meri have been in a Mexican standoff for eons trying to make the other partner leave first. How does that plays out as far as eternity in their culture? I hope it is worth it to Meri's pocketbook to put herself in such a demeaning position on national TV. I can't believe she really wants him.

      So far this season has been full of exciting meetings (not) on patios, backyards, our faithful standby, Salsa Brava, and now Meri's house before she moves. I am guessing Kody's ring, taken directly off the finger of Ken in the Barbie movie, was introduced to make a (weak) storyline. Ditto Kody's waa-waa sob story how he can't wool and loll all over Robyn and show his (gross) love. And while we're at it, that nonsense about Janell wants him for his lovely pecs and abs? Surely, another invention by TLC. These are all oddities that come out of nowhere and you don't hear about them again (except he was complaining he had to keep his hands off Meri at Christmas).

[TN-peach]

This week Kody calls his children jerks.  Yikes.

The sit down dinner with middle children with Janelle and Christine was interesting.  They did not hold back.  Those kids have really been hurt by him.

 

[Cults-r-us]

On 10/16/2023 at 11:08 AM, TN-peach said:

This week Kody calls his children jerks.  Yikes.

The sit down dinner with middle children with Janelle and Christine was interesting.  They did not hold back.  Those kids have really been hurt by him.

 

After listening to Breanna (Robyn 2.0) cry and explain she is separated from her sibs because of their flagrant disregard of the "COVID rules", I have good news for Steve Maxwell and other fundie parents: you can still maintain your family cult while sending your kids to public school. Like other cult leaders, Robyn has been effective in keeping her children isolated and indoctrinating then with beliefs they are only safe inside the cult.

      Robyn's M.O. is always the same. She hijacked the Xmas text thread, made it about herself, imposed unworkable "rules", blamed the unfavored kids and convinced her own children they are victims and should remain isolated from their lesser and unworthy sibs.

       Over the years we have heard the parent's talking points from a number of fundie daughters, such as Jasmine Bachman and Sara Maxwell. Their tunes changed as they gained life experience and exposure to life outside their families. Let's hope Breanna and Aurora, in the spirit of the Maxwell daughters, get some distance from their mother. Because yeesh, this woman is toxic.

[TN-peach]

Does Robyn Brown not know that she is the Brown family island?! She kicked the 3 other wives and their children off?!

Her daughters sounded just like her "I am so confused."  "Someone told us that the other kids didn't like us."  Who would have told them that?!  Maybe their mom...

Robyn and Kody are so very toxic.  I realize no parent is perfect.  Gwen is letting people know that Christine is not perfect but when the bar is Robyn and Kody... the other 3 wives are definitely higher.  As Gwen said "where is the trauma coming from?" (or something like that).

[Merry One]

On 10/16/2023 at 9:08 AM, TN-peach said:

This week Kody calls his children jerks.  Yikes.

The sit down dinner with middle children with Janelle and Christine was interesting.  They did not hold back.  Those kids have really been hurt by him.

 Kody calling his own children jerks on screen will likely be the final straw.. How overwhelmingly painful that must be for them! Such a horrible, toxic narcissist that man is. 

[TN-peach]

4 hours ago, Merry One said:

On 10/16/2023 at 11:08 AM, TN-peach said:

This week Kody calls his children jerks.  Yikes.

The sit down dinner with middle children with Janelle and Christine was interesting.  They did not hold back.  Those kids have really been hurt by him.

 Kody calling his own children jerks on screen will likely be the final straw.. How overwhelmingly painful that must be for them! Such a horrible, toxic narcissist that man is. 

I don’t think I would talk to my dad much at all after that. 

[Cults-r-us]

5 hours ago, TN-peach said:

Does Robyn Brown not know that she is the Brown family island?! She kicked the 3 other wives and their children off?!

Robyn really believes her position as head wife entitles her to deference and special treatment. She believes her favored children are above the others in the family. She acts like the unfavored kids are dirty or contagious. Remember Gwen saying Robyn didn't want Sol left alone with her? So of course she doesn't want her royal children hobnobbing with the lessers. Thusly,  she beats the tired old drum of disrespect (not catering to her) and disloyalty (not doing what she wants) and withdrawals her (3 adult) children from the gift exchange she didn't want them in the first place.