Sister Wives 8: And Another One Down, Another One Bites the Dust?

[LacyMay]

On 8/28/2023 at 7:12 AM, Cults-r-us said:

The other kids struggling with their schedules to accommodate Robyn's Christmas Zoom turns into an opportunity for K&R to ruminate on the rejection Robyn received from day 1.

That Robyn genuinely seemed offended that 10+ adults couldn't just drop everything to hop on an unscheduled zoom call speaks volumes of her self absorption. 

And why did they need a zoom call with Robyn to coordinate a sibling gift exchange? 

I know I'm nosey but I really want to hear more about what went on in that group chat that Janelle thinks there might not be any coming back from. Robyn is dramatic so I always see her as an unreliable narrator. But Janelle seems to be so level headed so hearing her talk about how bad it was makes me super curious. 

[apandaaries]

14 hours ago, LacyMay said:

That Robyn genuinely seemed offended that 10+ adults couldn't just drop everything to hop on an unscheduled zoom call speaks volumes of her self absorption. 

And why did they need a zoom call with Robyn to coordinate a sibling gift exchange? 

I know I'm nosey but I really want to hear more about what went on in that group chat that Janelle thinks there might not be any coming back from. Robyn is dramatic so I always see her as an unreliable narrator. But Janelle seems to be so level headed so hearing her talk about how bad it was makes me super curious. 

And that Kody ignored the whole text chain! He loves being Robyn’s white knight, so why wasn’t he involved in all this? Seems like he’s trying to play neutral after all this time. 
 

Robyn is a mess, but Kody is always on her side. It seems like the kidults had had enough of her bs and some kind of confrontation occurred— which is fair, for the kids. They’re the ones who’ve been most injured by Kody’s obvious preferences.

I’m no fan of Robyn’s, but it was really Kody who blew up the family unit. I doubt he’ll ever own that, but Robyn shoulders a lot of blame that should rightfully be placed on Kody.

[ifosterkittens]

34 minutes ago, apandaaries said:

I’m no fan of Robyn’s, but it was really Kody who blew up the family unit. I doubt he’ll ever own that, but Robyn shoulders a lot of blame that should rightfully be placed on Kody.

Kody always seems to let the wives take the blame. Before TLC when money was tight it was said Meri and Mariah always could afford what they needed and wanted (within reason), but Janelle and Christine were always super tight. I don't doubt Meri was a real witch to Janelle, Christine and their kids, and Kody clearly chose to ignore Meri's behavior instead of confront it, but as far as money I never understood why things weren't more equally divided. 

Robyn joined the Brown family when they were going through several enormous changes. They just started filming with TLC which is a lot for anyone, especially children who have lived their lives knowing polygamy is illegal in their state, and Christine's grandfather went to jail for it, and now they are now purpose telling the world yes, we are polygamist. Then they moved to Las Vegas. The Browns moved all the time, but now they were split into different houses in Las Vegas, and there seemed to be little priority on the larger Brown family unity. This was also the first time Janelle and Christine had some money which gave them some freedom. Janelle was no longer working a full-time job outside of the home and no longer needed Christine to keep an eye on her kids. For the first time Christine could just focus her attention on her six kids. Unfortunately, they chose to show Hunter's struggle with moving, and I imagine Janelle focused solely on her six children, and trying to help Hunter the best she could. It was not and should not have been Janelle's top priority to welcome Robyn and her children into the family. If Kody felt it was important, he could have facilitated weekly gatherings of all four families. He is the head of the household after all. 

Robyn was the newcomer and seemed to expect everyone be thrilled she was there. Come on Robyn you grew up in polygamy you had to know there would be growing pains. Did Robyn offer to host the family weekly or monthly to facilitate the family relationships? It shouldn't all be on Robyn, but I don't think she made the effort, and instead is content to moan and groan. I think all the moms focused on their own children during the transition of a move, putting their family in the public eye, leaving their church and church community. I think it was less about purposely excluding Robyn from the family. 

Kody's adult children are allowed to have their feelings about how they feel he treats Robyn and her kids versus their moms and siblings. 

[Coconut Flan]

Robyn has participated plenty in poisoning the well.  If she gets called on it by people who have been stuck watching it for years, so be it..  

[ifosterkittens]

I've been thinking about Kody being the reason for the family imploding, and I agree, and have more thoughts to share. 

When the Brown's moved to Flagstaff and lost the convenience of the cul-de-sac Christine said they were seeing less of Kody. I'm not sure if it happened as soon as they moved, but pre-covid Christine felt Kody's time at her home was more limited and he was always on his phone, and he was less willing to engage with the kids. Truely was young, but the other kids were getting older, and likely less excited dad was home like when they were little because kids grow up and dad coming home isn't as thrilling at 15 as it was at 2. 

I don't recall watching Kody making an effort with the kids once they got older. Taking Solomon to see a pile of dirt at Coyote Pass when he was a young boy was a ton of fun, but older kids need more. Calling your kids to come help with chores on Coyote Pass isn't enough. Maybe you do some chores on Coyote Pass, and then take the kid for a meal at a restaurant of their choice and ask about their life. I'm sure Janelle and Christine's kids participated in sports, band, theater, some extracurricular activities, did Kody make an effort to attend those events? I bet he attends most of Robyn's kids' events (covid may have limited the extracurriculars for a while, but my point still stands). 

Christine was incredibly active in Janelle's kids' lives when they were young (she did the majority of the childcare in the early days), and it appears Christine has maintained those relationships as the kids became adults. I highly doubt Janelle's kids would take kindly to Kody, Robyn or Robyn's kids bashing Christine. I can see an alliance of most of Janelle and Christine's kids saying no we won't stand for Kody or Robyn's nonsense towards Christine. Mykelti may be willing to maintain her relationship with Kody and Robyn, but say she's not discussing Christine, or family drama. Mykelti seems like a strong personality, and I don't see Kody and Robyn being able to bulldoze her. 

If three out of four wives leave a husband, I don't think it is just a problem with the wives. 

Kody is the classic example of everything he preached didn't work out, but none of it is his fault. 

[apandaaries]

Watching the latest episode reinforced my opinion that Kody is just a terrible husband, father, and person. 
He behaved shamefully in that argument with Janelle. Absolutely abominable.

But those were his very own actions, Robyn-free. She and Covid exposed the fissures that already existed in the family. Kody chose to do a lot more for Robyn than the other wives, but it was still his choice. She treated him like her “best customer” (ew), but I’m sure the OG wives also treated him like a king, also.  He could have continued to honor his commitments to the other wives, but he chose not to. 
 

The more I watch, the more it seems like an average midlife crisis (complete with convertibles), but with a polygamous twist. Kody got old and bored and found someone new and exciting. Now he’s got the one he chose (with her lavish encouragement), and now Robyn will have to deal with the man-child as she ages (consequences, yuck). And the original wives now have a much clearer picture of who they actually married.
 

Imagine how awful the other polygamist men must have been to make Kody look worthwhile. Bleh. At least the kids now seem to have all abandoned their early polygamist dreams—I suppose the show did have some good to it, at least.
 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think it was very easy for Kody to be a great dad and poly husband before Robyn came along. I don’t think he had to even put in that much effort. When you have three wives fighting with each other, the negative attention will never be placed on you. They are too busy vilifying each other to vilify Kody. I have a feeling that everyone treated Kody like a king in that family before Robyn. They all lived together so he didn’t have to leave one house and drive to another. Everyone came to him. Everyone fawned all over him. The kids adored him. The kids likely gave the most trouble to their moms. But when Kody was around, they were in their best behavior in order to get his much wanted attention. I’m sure he seemed like the best dad ever. He probably didn’t have a true favorite with the first three. But I’m sure he had favorites based on the day or circumstances. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Kody hadn't been red pilled in the early years. They hadn't had the trauma of multiple seat of your pants moves and the understandable rebellion of his sons against such moves. @JermajestyDuggar said, he got to be the fun dad and husband playing his wives against each other. Kody is the reason for this families issues. You want patriarchy buddy, well the downside of that is it's entirely the fault of the all-powerful patriarch when things screw up. 

[Cults-r-us]

20 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Robyn has participated plenty in poisoning the well.  If she gets called on it by people who have been stuck watching it for years, so be it..  

Robyn had the same M.O. with the zoom call as Kody did with his "COVID rules": make an unreasonable and un-doable demand, then play victim when the family can't comply, then reject the offending family members and double down on isolating Robyn's kids. I think R&K act like the other family members are dirty or contaminated - it's why they make them test before visiting.

[LacyMay]

On 9/3/2023 at 3:19 PM, ifosterkittens said:

For the first time Christine could just focus her attention on her six kids. Unfortunately, they chose to show Hunter's struggle with moving, and I imagine Janelle focused solely on her six children, and trying to help Hunter the best she could.

I planned to just point out that Christine also had a new baby but then I decided to do a deep dive 😛

 

Really so much upheaval happened around when Robyn joined the family, going with rough dates over an 18 month time span 

April 13 2010- Truly is born 

May 22 2010- K & R marry 

August 2010- The show is introduced/ the family goes public.

September-January 2010- They dealt with the fall out of going public 

January 2011-March 2011 (approximately)- They moved to Vegas (a move that was by all accounts super tough on everyone) 

April 2011- Sol is announced 

2011-They were living apart for the first time 

October 2011-Sol is born 

Sept 2011-Dec 2011-They had to deal with the financial ramifications of the move (4 houses and mortgages) 

That's a lot of shit to have to navigate and process for adults let alone teenagers. Robyn wanted to be celebrated and fawned over and have her marriage/pregnancy/joining the family celebrated and fawned over.  Even though  weddings in polygamist culture aren't (according to the show) usually a big deal with a big party and a huge focus on the new couple. 

And more importantly people just did not have the emotional capacity to make a grown women the center of their attention (especially since she already had a bigger celebration than any of them!) and I don't think she's ever forgiven that. 

I Think trying to blame the collapse on going public or Robyn joining the family or the catfish might be over simplifying it because when I look at that timeline it really just feels like a perfect shit storm that would challenge even the strongest of couples. 

[Cults-r-us]

On 9/4/2023 at 10:04 AM, Pecansforeveryone said:

Kody hadn't been red pilled in the early years. They hadn't had the trauma of multiple seat of your pants moves and the understandable rebellion of his sons against such moves. @JermajestyDuggar said, he got to be the fun dad and husband playing his wives against each other. Kody is the reason for this families issues. You want patriarchy buddy, well the downside of that is it's entirely the fault of the all-powerful patriarch when things screw up. 

 

On 9/4/2023 at 10:04 AM, Pecansforeveryone said:

Kody hadn't been red pilled in the early years. They hadn't had the trauma of multiple seat of your pants moves and the understandable rebellion of his sons against such moves. @JermajestyDuggar said, he got to be the fun dad and husband playing his wives against each other. Kody is the reason for this families issues. You want patriarchy buddy, well the downside of that is it's entirely the fault of the all-powerful patriarch when things screw up. 

I recall Christine saying she knew the fun, light-hearted Kody and didn't meet his angry, darker side until after they married. All the wives liked Kody and wanted(!!!) To spend time with him. Now all four say they "do not recognize" the current Kody. Kody says he is having to stifle impulses to be meaner and angrier. He says he thinks about starting over without Robyn, even though he refers to her as his "loyal wife". It sounds like he is paranoid, questioning even Robyn's loyalty. I wonder if something is wrong, beyond our usual diagnoses of lazy, narcissistic asshat, and he needs a brain scan or meds.

Episode 4 is sad. One person can do a lot of damage in a family, so it's good the shunned family members are resilient and still celebrate Christmas.

On a lighter note, has anybody checked out the Robyn Brown fan club on Facebook. Spoiler: they are not Christine ("Christine") and Janell fans.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Cults-r-us said:

 

I recall Christine saying she knew the fun, light-hearted Kody and didn't meet his angry, darker side until after they married. All the wives liked Kody and wanted(!!!) To spend time with him. Now all four say they "do not recognize" the current Kody. Kody says he is having to stifle impulses to be meaner and angrier. He says he thinks about starting over without Robyn, even though he refers to her as his "loyal wife". It sounds like he is paranoid, questioning even Robyn's loyalty. I wonder if something is wrong, beyond our usual diagnoses of lazy, narcissistic asshat, and he needs a brain scan or meds.

Episode 4 is sad. One person can do a lot of damage in a family, so it's good the shunned family members are resilient and still celebrate Christmas.

On a lighter note, has anybody checked out the Robyn Brown fan club on Facebook. Spoiler: they are not Christine ("Christine") and Janell fans.

There will always be a fan club for just about anyone on a reality show. I’m sure it’s way smaller than the Janell and Christine fan club. But that’s how the internet works. You can always find someone else to agree with you. Which is both good and horrible. It’s nice to find people like you on the internet so you don’t feel so alone. For example, you have a very rare genetic condition. In real life, you’ve never met anyone with that condition. And you feel completely alone. However you go online and find a few others with the condition and it helps you feel less alone. But the same goes for destructive beliefs. So it’s much easier to find other white supremacist skin heads who hate everything just like you. And there can be more power in numbers. 

[LacyMay]

Did anyone who watched the most recent episode catch Ariella sitting on the table with a soother?! 

I'm not a parent but hadn't she already started kindergarten at this point (even with the time lag from filming to release I think she would have been 5.5) 

I'm not a parent and I could be wrong, it just feels like that's a little old to still have a pacifier. 

Thoughts?

[Cults-r-us]

55 minutes ago, LacyMay said:

Did anyone who watched the most recent episode catch Ariella sitting on the table with a soother?! 

I'm not a parent but hadn't she already started kindergarten at this point (even with the time lag from filming to release I think she would have been 5.5) 

I'm not a parent and I could be wrong, it just feels like that's a little old to still have a pacifier. 

Thoughts?

I'd say it's probably not great for her teeth and you don't see anybody 20 with a pacifier. However, I did once see a teenage lifeguard at the pool who was sucking her thumb. Surely she will outgrow it.

Before starting kindergarten, they were letting Ariella stay up to all hours and sleep until noon or early afternoon because "it was just easier". I'm glad she adjusted to school and they're not keeping her home. I imagine as the baby, they let Ariella rule the roost, unless it interferes with K&R want to do.

[Coconut Flan]

1 hour ago, LacyMay said:

I'm not a parent but hadn't she already started kindergarten at this point (even with the time lag from filming to release I think she would have been 5.5) 

She's now 7.  During that episode she was two weeks away from being 6 I believe. The plug should have been tossed many, many years previously.  Obviously Robyn and the nanny had no control of that child.  

[LacyMay]

4 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

I'd say it's probably not great for her teeth and you don't see anybody 20 with a pacifier. However, I did once see a teenage lifeguard at the pool who was sucking her thumb. Surely she will outgrow it.

I definitely sucked my thumb a bit longer than most kids (no where near my 20s) my mom tried everything including putting the nasty tasting no bite stuff on my nails. It definitely didn't do my teeth any favors. 

 

I think the difference in my mind is that, my mom couldn't have just taken my thumb away, someone is allowing her to have the pacifier, which tracks with what we know about Ariella ruling that household. 

It's interesting to see the difference in development, Ariella is the same age that Breanna was when K and R married but seems to be a lot younger. I wonder if Kody and Robyn are just to damn lazy to parent or if they want to infantilize her for as long as possible so they can still feel young and in love. 

Either way I fear it isn't giving Ari any favours. 

 

 

Unrelated

-Hearing Janelle cry that she should have known better was heartbreaking, she worked so damn hard for that family. She deserved better. 

-The bond between Christine and Janelle's kids is just fun to watch. 

-Kody not reaching out to Savannah for Christmas was inexcusable. I don't give a rats patootie if he was made at Janelle, Savannah is (was) his (minor) child and as the parent it's his job to reach out to her. This BS about not chasing his kids and making them come to him is petty and immature.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I agree that sucking fingers or thumbs is a much worse habit because you can’t take them away. I can’t help but assume the youngest Brown gets away with murder. Like many of the youngest siblings of enormous families. 

[Cheetah]

I'm curious about when the Ari/ Sol talking head was filmed relative to the events of the episode.  She seemed a lot more socially aware (I was going to say mature but it wasn't mature, more like, cognizant of the camera) on the talking head.  

[Jrodseyeliner]

Watching the last episode, watching Janelles and Christine’s kids is fun to watch. Christine is glowing. Watching Janelle was heartbreaking, her kids will never forgive Kody for what he has done, said and treated their mum. 
 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Jrodseyeliner said:

Watching the last episode, watching Janelles and Christine’s kids is fun to watch. Christine is glowing. Watching Janelle was heartbreaking, her kids will never forgive Kody for what he has done, said and treated their mum. 
 

I think there’s also a different dynamic between Janell’s and Christine’s kids with Kody because of the sex makeup. Christine has 5 girls and 1 boy while Janell has 4 boys and 2 girls. Since Janell has a bunch of boys, they likely expect their dad to act like a good role model for them. And I can see them holding a grudge longer because of it. Plus I think Kody sometimes feels threatened by his adult sons. Like many men do when they have large families raised in patriarchy. 

[Scrappinmac]

I noticed in last week's episode that Janelle mentioned a few times that Kody hadn't even reached out to Savanah. I thought, well why would you expect him to call her when he's mad at everyone and isn't calling his sons either?

Then I realized, Savanah's birthday is December 8th. They had their argument around the 15th, and by Christmas he still hadn't called her. So he neglected his own daughter on her birthday AND Christmas! 

What an awful thing to do to your own child! 

[Jrodseyeliner]

19 minutes ago, Scrappinmac said:

I noticed in last week's episode that Janelle mentioned a few times that Kody hadn't even reached out to Savanah. I thought, well why would you expect him to call her when he's mad at everyone and isn't calling his sons either?

Then I realized, Savanah's birthday is December 8th. They had their argument around the 15th, and by Christmas he still hadn't called her. So he neglected his own daughter on her birthday AND Christmas! 

What an awful thing to do to your own child! 

Also Savannah is still under 18 and at high school so considered a minor… 

[Cults-r-us]

On 9/11/2023 at 8:40 PM, Jrodseyeliner said:

Also Savannah is still under 18 and at high school so considered a minor… 

Robyn spent $$$ on that Xmas village because "Kody likes Scrooge". Well, Kody ("Are there no workhouses?") is Scrooge to Janelle's Bob Cratchit! Truely's "God bless us everyone" was apt indeed. 

     It was entertaining last season watching Kody raving like a loon, screeching into the ether about "the knife in his kidney", knowing Christine was out the door and onto a happier life. But I did not enjoy episode 4. The contrast between Robyn's excessive spending, Janelle's (our sturdy, solid, dependable Janell!) horrible, raw pain and Kody's aggression and desire to punish family members is so uncomfortable and unpleasant I wonder if I can continue watching it. 

[LacyMay]

13 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

But I did not enjoy episode 4. The contrast between Robyn's excessive spending, Janelle's (our sturdy, solid, dependable Janell!) horrible, raw pain and Kody's aggression and desire to punish family members is so uncomfortable and unpleasant I wonder if I can continue watching it. 

I agree, I've been conflicted lately about how comfortable I am watching it. 

On one hand it feels icky to see raw pain exploited for ratings. On the other the show is likely part of what has enabled Christine and Janelle (and even Meri) to get the heck out of dodge and be able to continue to support themselves and their kids. I think that the parents have been overall respectful of boundaries set by there kids about who does and does not want to be filmed (at least over the last few years) which helps as well. 

Having a front row seat to the collapse of a family is just super uncomfortable. And Kody smashing the 4th wall a few weeks ago did not help.

 

[LacyMay]

On 9/11/2023 at 4:13 PM, Cheetah said:

I'm curious about when the Ari/ Sol talking head was filmed relative to the events of the episode.  She seemed a lot more socially aware (I was going to say mature but it wasn't mature, more like, cognizant of the camera) on the talking head.  

Apparently (source surviving sister wives podcast) the TH was likely filmed a year after the footage (using one of Gabrielle's?) Hair as a guide. It would explain the big jump for Ariella