Bro Gary Hawkins 21: Let's PRIASE the Lord

[Ozlsn]

"And self spelled backwards is fles(h)", you are grasping at straws here Al.

Are you sure it's not "fle(a)s"? Or "f(i)les"? Or even "fl(i)es"?

[thoughtful]

Gary, dolt that he is, posted the same Paul Harvey 1965 video again.

C'mon, Gary - let us know where you're preaching, if you have been.

[AmazonGrace]

"God is alive", spelled backwards, "evil as I, dog". 

 

[Xan]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary, dolt that he is, posted the same Paul Harvey 1965 video again.

C'mon, Gary - let us know where you're preaching, if you have been.

I think he's looking for some authority figure to prove that he's right.  Sure, that video is 57 years old.  But the KJV Bible is even older!  And they both show that Gary knows what he's talking about.  The Devil will drag you under (🎵 By the sharp lapels of your checkered coat...) so you'd better get straight with Gary God and get saved.

You know, I almost give him credit for finding the video and realizing that someone else had the correct words which Gary himself didn't have.  Maybe he's just smart enough to know where he falls short.  But -- probably not.

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, Xan said:

I think he's looking for some authority figure to prove that he's right.  Sure, that video is 57 years old.  But the KJV Bible is even older!  And they both show that Gary knows what he's talking about.  The Devil will drag you under (🎵 By the sharp lapels of your checkered coat...) so you'd better get straight with Gary God and get saved.

You know, I almost give him credit for finding the video and realizing that someone else had the correct words which Gary himself didn't have.  Maybe he's just smart enough to know where he falls short.  But -- probably not.

Thanks for the song cue! Besides being a truly wonderful song, it's also a sweet memory - when I was a squirmy kid who was supposed to be sitting down for some reason, my Mom would sing a bit of it to me.

I think Gary spends a lot of his time listening to and watching preachers from many decades ago. He laps that stuff up, like other people watch movies and TV, or read.

[thoughtful]

"So call churches," weird punctuation, self-righteous blather, horrible grammar, conspiracy theories, etc. How does he pack so much Garyness into such a short post?

I especially love the exact reversal of plural and singular - "doctrine and denomination doesn't matter," and "things that isn't in the KJB."

Doesn't it sound wrong in his head? He isn't (aren't? 😁 ) quite this bad when he speaks.

[thoughtful]

I'm pretty sure Matk is supporting Gary with this comment. It's always hard to tell with these guys. I guess we'll find out if Gary tries to argue with him. Maybe.

How does one quote one's own unknown feelings? That's quite a deepity.

His name is Mark, BTW - did he make a typo when opening his Facebook account, and not know how to correct it? Is this his shitposting alias? Who knows?

[thoughtful]

Gary hates Christian movies, and he explains why clearly and incisively.

I kid, I kid.

Spoiler

 

[Hane]

Gary, in the afterlife:

Jesus: “You know, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going to the movies.”

Gary:  “You’re *wrong*! All you need is the KJB and a Bible-believing church!”

Jesus: “Whatever you say, dude.” [shrugs and walks away]

[AmazonGrace]

What about Estus Pirkle?

[thoughtful]

49 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

What about Estus Pirkle?

He's different, because reasons.

Maybe his movies are OK because he's from The Old Days When Christians Were Christians. Especially since nobody is spending money that could go into Gary's KFC buckets watching Pirkle's movies.

I wonder if Gary knows about Gramps Goes to College - Donald James Parker could be the new Estus Pirkle (without the gore).

[thoughtful]

Nothing new from Gary, but he's gotten some comments.

Under the 3/7 post with the  overcapitalized "God says fuck your feelings" quote:

Spoiler

Under the 3/10 post about the importance of doctrine:

Spoiler

And, under the 3/11 post about movies:

Spoiler

I wonder if Gary had already heard about that film, and that was the reason for Gary's post in the first place. Not that he doesn't do that schtick periodically anyway.

So, as ever, who knows?

Spoiler

 

 

[thoughtful]

Becky, who almost never posts these days, has posted this:

I don't know who she thinks is judging her, or for what, but I guess she, like Gary, needs to hold on to the idea that it's all "under the blood."

[FiveAcres]

This seems to be the exemplar of vague booking.

[thoughtful]

Someone's trying to explain to Johnnie that Jesus is not actually portrayed in The Jesus Revolution.

Spoiler

 

The likes on Johnnie's posts are from Johnnie himself. I don't know if Gary's seen any of this yet.

Also under the post about movies:

Spoiler

Edited March 13, 2023 by thoughtful
riffle

[AmazonGrace]

Because it would be so much better for people to judge you based on the sins they have not heard about.

 I love it that they hate on films they haven't seen or understood. "This is a very bad film because of its portrayal of a character that isn't in the movie." 

I dislike Jurassic Park because great white sharks aren't like that.

¨

[Xan]

37 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Because it would be so much better for people to judge you based on the sins they have not heard about.

 I love it that they hate on films they haven't seen or understood. "This is a very bad film because of its portrayal of a character that isn't in the movie." 

I dislike Jurassic Park because great white sharks aren't like that.

¨

I thought Jurassic Park had an unfair portrayal of pandas.  

I like that the guy knew the Jesus-looking character was Lonnie Frisbee.  A great singing group name would be "Lonnie Frisbee and the Pandas".  I bet they'd play music with a beat and a bop and a bam.  

[postscript]

5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Someone's trying to explain to Johnnie that Jesus is not actually portrayed in The Jesus Revolution.

  Hide contents

 

The likes on Johnnie's posts are from Johnnie himself. I don't know if Gary's seen any of this yet.

Also under the post about movies:

  Hide contents

My God, these people never case to amaze me with their stupidity. There are Christian movies - what about Fireproof, or those other dreadful Kirk Cameron movies. There are Christian books - Jill Rodrigues reads Amish romances, and of course there's her sister's immortal opus Serena's Serenity. There are plenty of Christian schools, even by the narrow standards of this group. If they can't find anything that meets their standards, why not write a book themselves? There is some pretty incoherent stuff published on Amazon. Oh, yeah, that would be too much work for this group.

And then David pops in and chirps about how much he loved the movie they've all been vilifying. David, you may not belong in this crowd. 

[Ozlsn]

On 3/12/2023 at 4:02 AM, AmazonGrace said:

What about Estus Pirkle?

My reactions, in order:

1. Who?

2. That's his real name, seriously?

3. *googles* Good Lord, that is quite the collection  of bad movie

4. Wonder if anyone's MST3Ked them?

5. No seriously, that's his actual name?!

[Xan]

Gary, finding another picture that talks about Hell, decides it's Facebook-worthy:

Spoiler

I don't understand why Hell would exist.  I mean, you'd have to give Satan a lot of credit if he made it big enough to keep fitting all of the unbelievers in there and never let them out.  And the amount of work involved in torturing souls for an eternity?  Satan would have to have lots of helpers.  What would be the pay off for God anyway?  Is it just a big, old "I told you so"?  Would a benevolent deity allow people to be hideously punished forever?

Sorry.  Gary's religion just doesn't make sense to me.  My hold on faith was sketchy at best and now, after Gary and his lot, all I can find are holes in the plot.  There's this big, beautiful world to live in and Gary is over in his tiny corner obsessing over his versions of Heaven and Hell.  It's ridiculous.

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, postscript said:

There are Christian movies - what about Fireproof, or those other dreadful Kirk Cameron movies.

Gary thinks all of those are evil (despite, I'm fairly sure, never having seen them). He's probably heard that they aren't hard-core KJV-only Baptist enough, or something like that.

Johnnie seems to have accepted the fact that the images he's seen from The Jesus Revolution are of Jonathan Roumie playing Lonny Frisbee, not Jesus. So, does he post something like "Oh, OK - I thought that was actually supposed to be Jesus. My error."

Of course not:

Spoiler

I hope Jeremy was having fun, and not really expecting to get through to Johnnie, because you know what King Lear said.

 

 

[thoughtful]

11 hours ago, Xan said:

I don't understand why Hell would exist.  I mean, you'd have to give Satan a lot of credit if he made it big enough to keep fitting all of the unbelievers in there and never let them out. 

Gary says that's why there are volcanic eruptions - it's Hell getting bigger to fit in more of the unsaved.

Gary's latest:

[thoughtful]

Gary, mocking hymns? Say it isn't so!

Spoiler

 

ETA - it's a parody of this:

Spoiler

 

Sung:

Spoiler

 

 

Edited March 15, 2023 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

Here are some comments under the coffee post. For once, Gary is getting chastised for sacrilege and mocking a hymn.  😁

Spoiler

 

ETA, two minutes after posting - glad I caught those critical comments, because they are all gone now. Gary can be self-righteous with others, but woe to those who are self-righteous with him!

Edited March 16, 2023 by thoughtful

[Dana723]

On 3/14/2023 at 5:09 AM, Ozlsn said:

My reactions, in order:

1. Who?

2. That's his real name, seriously?

3. *googles* Good Lord, that is quite the collection  of bad movie

4. Wonder if anyone's MST3Ked them?

5. No seriously, that's his actual name?!

No MST3K but The Cinema Snob has done some hilarious recaps!

 

Spoiler

 

 

Edited March 16, 2023 by Dana723