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M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!


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24 minutes ago, Quiverfulloftwins said:

Jermajesty Duggar my twins just turned 9 and even though they shared a party they had their own cakes and cards.

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I love that they have such different cakes ❤️ I have talked about my identical twin relatives multiple times on FJ. But they are the reason I am so sensitive about twins. They were born in the 1920s and treated identically. They were dressed exactly the same everyday when they were kids. They always had to have the same haircut too. Their names are even super similar. Their parents were controlling and they weren’t ever allowed to marry. I know it’s an extreme example but it’s the reason I would treat twins like two completely different people. They aren’t a unit. Even identical ones. 

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41 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I love that they have such different cakes ❤️ I have talked about my identical twin relatives multiple times on FJ. But they are the reason I am so sensitive about twins. They were born in the 1920s and treated identically. They were dressed exactly the same everyday when they were kids. They always had to have the same haircut too. Their names are even super similar. Their parents were controlling and they weren’t ever allowed to marry. I know it’s an extreme example but it’s the reason I would treat twins like two completely different people. They aren’t a unit. Even identical ones. 

That is terrible! My twins are fraternal and opposite in looks and personality. They are both named after important people in our lives so their names don't match. My husband's grandmother also born in the 1920s was an identical twin and they had similar names and were always dressed alike sometimes even after they became adults. They both did marry and live their own lives when they became adults though.

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14 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Abbie cut her hair off. It looks so much better!

Fucking finally. I’ve been saying it for years now. She obviously can’t take care of her long hair. Maybe she will wash it more often now that it’s shorter. 

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6 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Fucking finally. I’ve been saying it for years now. She obviously can’t take care of her long hair. Maybe she will wash it more often now that it’s shorter. 

That was my first thought too! 

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Good riddance (to the long hair)!  

The birthday...it always strikes me as cheap to the point of pettiness that Braggie's kids don't get a pretty bakery cake (or at least a home baked cake with frosting) for their birthdays.  She sticks a candle in a fucking doughnut and calls it done. 

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26 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Good riddance (to the long hair)!  

The birthday...it always strikes me as cheap to the point of pettiness that Braggie's kids don't get a pretty bakery cake (or at least a home baked cake with frosting) for their birthdays.  She sticks a candle in a fucking doughnut and calls it done. 

We know they have the money for pretty store bought cakes. I wonder if she doesn’t want cake in the house because she’s afraid she would eat too much of it. We know she worries about her body. Most women do. But I think she is more preoccupied by her body than some. Just based on past posts. 

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21 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

We know they have the money for pretty store bought cakes. I wonder if she doesn’t want cake in the house because she’s afraid she would eat too much of it. We know she worries about her body. Most women do. But I think she is more preoccupied by her body than some. Just based on past posts. 

Yeah, she doesn’t talk about it now but her old blog had a lot of posts about her struggling with her body image long before she has 10 kids. I think she only had 5 at the time… 

 

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I think she’s too lazy and disorganized to remember to plan and buy a cake or cakes. Checked out parents pretty much sums it up. Funny, they can plan and mobilize for weekly date nights. They suck!

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1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

I think she’s too lazy and disorganized to remember to plan and buy a cake or cakes. Checked out parents pretty much sums it up. Funny, they can plan and mobilize for weekly date nights. They suck!

But wouldn’t a random donut with a candle count as mediocre motherhood? I can bake and decorate my children’s birthday cakes. She looks mediocre compared to me. Which I find hilarious. 

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2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But wouldn’t a random donut with a candle count as mediocre motherhood? I can bake and decorate my children’s birthday cakes. She looks mediocre compared to me. Which I find hilarious. 

Or picking 9/24 for the last babies’ birthday for the forever bragging rights of having all her twins with the same birthday…which both give HER attention and decreases her output, 1 day ticks off 4 birthdays.

And taking the girls to Dallas, so she could go to Anthro for shopping, and eating Thai food for dinner. And what special activity did both parents do with the 2 YO boys? Are they getting a party? 

Like I said, they suck as parents.

I’ll admit, we are not big on birthdays. Both my hubs and I have Christmas week birthdays, his being 12/25. Our kids have early June and late August birthdays. We tended to do family trips or activities for their birthdays and skipped “parties”.

How come fundies refuse to view their kids as individuals, with unique interests, needs and desires?

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1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

Or picking 9/24 for the last babies’ birthday for the forever bragging rights of having all her twins with the same birthday…which both give HER attention and decreases her output, 1 day ticks off 4 birthdays.

And taking the girls to Dallas, so she could go to Anthro for shopping, and eating Thai food for dinner. And what special activity did both parents do with the 2 YO boys? Are they getting a party? 

Like I said, they suck as parents.

I’ll admit, we are not big on birthdays. Both my hubs and I have Christmas week birthdays, his being 12/25. Our kids have early June and late August birthdays. We tended to do family trips or activities for their birthdays and skipped “parties”.

How come fundies refuse to view their kids as individuals, with unique interests, needs and desires?

I agree. We can list so many times she was not just a mediocre mom, but a shitty mom. It’s insane anyone would give such an obviously bad parent a platform. I admit I hate throwing birthday parties for my kids. The pandemic killed them for awhile and now we are going to take my kids to an indoor water park hotel for my oldest son’s birthday. He loves particular water park so I think he would like it better than a party anyway. On top of it, he will get a cake, ice cream, presents, and his choice of meal (probably pizza). 

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5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

That was my first thought too! 

Maybe she'll also stop posting about not washing her hair for eons etc. 🙄

The new cut certainly suits her better and doesn't make her face look so elongated. 

Wonder if she perhaps donated her locks? 🤔 Well, if she did she would most likely brag about that. If she did donate them, I hope she washed her hair first.

Is she turning 40 this year, or is it next year??

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1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

How come fundies refuse to view their kids as individuals, with unique interests, needs and desires?

To fundies they aren't unique individuals = children are 'arrows in the quiver' and/or "soldiers for the Lord'.  Children don't have unique needs, interests, wants, desires. They need, want, desire, are interested in only whatever their parents tell them.

Children serve one purpose only --  to help fundies out breed the rest of us non-fundies, non-Christians, 

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6 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

To fundies they aren't unique individuals = children are 'arrows in the quiver' and/or "soldiers for the Lord'.  Children don't have unique needs, interests, wants, desires. They need, want, desire, are interested in only whatever their parents tell them.

Yes! I skirted the edges of fundamentalist parenting for a few years (mainly b/c I had been sucked into fundamentalist teaching on marriage but could never go all the way there w/my parenting b/c I had grown up in a high control, albeit non-fundamentalist, family). What's wild is how absolutely unaware you are when you're inside of how far from the mark of love and attached parenting the principles themselves are. It's so caught up with pleasing God and the Right Way and all the things you should be doing that you have no breathing room to recognize that you are exactly replicating that dehumanizing perspective to your precious children.

Fundamentalism teaches that it offers superior, loving, godly parenting. But without any concept of attachment, you literally cannot love your children as individuals b/c you have no concept of yourself as an individual or attachment with God or anything. I am so, so, so glad that, for reasons I don't even fully understand, my children and I avoided that.

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39 minutes ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

Maybe she'll also stop posting about not washing her hair for eons etc. 🙄

The new cut certainly suits her better and doesn't make her face look so elongated. 

Wonder if she perhaps donated her locks? 🤔 Well, if she did she would most likely brag about that. If she did donate them, I hope she washed her hair first.

Is she turning 40 this year, or is it next year??

This year. I just turned 40 so I know she’s going to in October.

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2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Or picking 9/24 for the last babies’ birthday for the forever bragging rights of having all her twins with the same birthday…which both give HER attention and decreases her output, 1 day ticks off 4 birthdays.

And taking the girls to Dallas, so she could go to Anthro for shopping, and eating Thai food for dinner. And what special activity did both parents do with the 2 YO boys? Are they getting a party? 

Like I said, they suck as parents.

I still think of all the crappy things she has done as a parent scheduling the c-section so the twins birthdays were all on the same day was one of the worst. You don't get to change your birth date, and forcing all four kids to share it when she could have separated them out by a couple of days is just indicative of how much it's all about her. 

Having done that however she should be trying to make sure that each of the four kids feels that their individual birthday was celebrated - they were always going to be sharing with their twin, but they should also be recognised as individuals. 

I get the feeling that in five years the twins will get to go for a special dinner and "oh look Anthro!" day with their mom. Who cares what they're like as individuals when there are new styles?

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5 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I still think of all the crappy things she has done as a parent scheduling the c-section so the twins birthdays were all on the same day was one of the worst. You don't get to change your birth date, and forcing all four kids to share it when she could have separated them out by a couple of days is just indicative of how much it's all about her. 

Having done that however she should be trying to make sure that each of the four kids feels that their individual birthday was celebrated - they were always going to be sharing with their twin, but they should also be recognised as individuals. 

I get the feeling that in five years the twins will get to go for a special dinner and "oh look Anthro!" day with their mom. Who cares what they're like as individuals when there are new styles?

One correction. She scheduled her induction for the same birthday. She didn’t schedule a c section. She’s pretty smug about her natural homebirths. Even the breech homebirth of one or both of the girl twins (can’t remember if it was one or both). The fact that she scheduled the induction at all was a big change for her. She normally goes very overdue and complains of Braxton hicks for weeks before birth. 

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3 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I still think of all the crappy things she has done as a parent scheduling the c-section so the twins birthdays were all on the same day was one of the worst. You don't get to change your birth date, and forcing all four kids to share it when she could have separated them out by a couple of days is just indicative of how much it's all about her. 

My SIL purposely scheduled her C section for her third baby two days later than his older brother's birthday, so the boys wouldn't have to share a birthday. (She also stopped at three kids.)

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3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

One correction. She scheduled her induction for the same birthday. She didn’t schedule a c section. She’s pretty smug about her natural homebirths. Even the breech homebirth of one or both of the girl twins (can’t remember if it was one or both). The fact that she scheduled the induction at all was a big change for her. She normally goes very overdue and complains of Braxton hicks for weeks before birth. 

My god, I hadn’t thought about how she changed her usual birthing pattern for her last twin delivery. I know she had a hospital birth with her first and had some sort of birth trauma with Honor, and then went to a birth center to deliver  Shiloh. Although Shilohs birth was unmediated and low intervention. With the twin boys she arranged it for 9/24, admitted herself to the hospital and had an epidural, all quite different-

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2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

My god, I hadn’t thought about how she changed her usual birthing pattern for her last twin delivery. I know she had a hospital birth with her first and had some sort of birth trauma with Honor, and then went to a birth center to deliver  Shiloh. Although Shilohs birth was unmediated and low intervention. With the twin boys she arranged it for 9/24, admitted herself to the hospital and had an epidural, all quite different-

Yes, sort of like Zoo. I think by the time they are in their late 30s and have had a bunch of unmedicated homebirths that last for days, they must think they have paid their dues and deserve an epidural. Although everyone deserves an epidural if they want one. But these fundies must wear their homebirths like a badge of honor. 

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8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I agree. We can list so many times she was not just a mediocre mom, but a shitty mom. It’s insane anyone would give such an obviously bad parent a platform. I admit I hate throwing birthday parties for my kids. The pandemic killed them for awhile and now we are going to take my kids to an indoor water park hotel for my oldest son’s birthday. He loves particular water park so I think he would like it better than a party anyway. On top of it, he will get a cake, ice cream, presents, and his choice of meal (probably pizza). 

That sounds like so much fun!

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13 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Abbie cut her hair off. It looks so much better!

Yes, she's bragging about it. Here's the text from her post.

Quote

How do you lose 5 lbs. in 2 hours? (Yes, that’s how long this haircut took! So, not exactly instant.)

Cut off 14 inches of hair!

It was time for a change, and I LOVE IT!!

I cannot get over how light and swingy it is! Still playing with styling, but I am really excited about the prospect of wash days without 30 straight minutes of detangling.

Bye bye, long hair. You were fun! I’m sure we’ll meet again some day!

P.S. I’ve had every length including a pixie before, so while most of you know me with long hair, this is not a first for me.

WHADDYA THINK??!!

 

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