M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!

[SassyPants]

Per IG- she doesn’t get on the floor and play with her little ones, but what she DOES do, among other things, is have another baby to play with. No blocks for her kids, just more babies. So gross. So she readily admits that she turfs some of her parenting responsibilities to her older kids. It’s all part of her parenting plan.

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Per IG- she doesn’t get on the floor and play with her little ones, but what she DOES do, among other things, is have another baby to play with. No blocks for her kids, just more babies. So gross. So she readily admits that she turfs some of her parenting responsibilities to her older kids. It’s all part of her parenting plan.

I don’t think any parent with more than 8 kids gets on the floor and plays with their kids. Fundie or not. You’re just too busy for it. 

[SassyPants]

53 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t think any parent with more than 8 kids gets on the floor and plays with their kids. Fundie or not. You’re just too busy for it. 

But, sanctifying motherhood and her pure heart and Christ centered home and obedient wife- what a crock of crap. Mother does the teaching, hired help cleaning and babysitting, older kids cooking, and the littlest boys are free range. She is a traditional housewife and mother about as much as I am. And I’m an empty nester.

[neuroticcat]

Today on the "playing on the floor" post she interprets the question to be looking for Abbie's endorsement of this behavior which she reminds us is shameworthy comparison behavior a la her book. Instead her advice is: if the Holy Spirit nudges you to play on the floor more, you should. If not, you shouldn't. 

Pretty narcissistic interpretation of a question, but successful moment to plug the book & instruct people. I absolutely hate when Christians do this with "nudges" from the Holy Spirit or whatever. It's Christian cultural nonsense, but it also is hell for scrupulous/OCD/overthinkers. Is the Chipotle from lunch that's giving me a blood sugar spike the "nudge"? Or maybe my estrogen? First, Christians suggesting God Almighty has an obedience plan for whether suburban moms play lego on the floor with their kids or not is just a new level of absurdity but also the scrupulosity that every minute decision must be weighed in impossible ways. Easy to laugh at but also really destructive.

[SassyPants]

11 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

Today on the "playing on the floor" post she interprets the question to be looking for Abbie's endorsement of this behavior which she reminds us is shameworthy comparison behavior a la her book. Instead her advice is: if the Holy Spirit nudges you to play on the floor more, you should. If not, you shouldn't. 

Pretty narcissistic interpretation of a question, but successful moment to plug the book & instruct people. I absolutely hate when Christians do this with "nudges" from the Holy Spirit or whatever. It's Christian cultural nonsense, but it also is hell for scrupulous/OCD/overthinkers. Is the Chipotle from lunch that's giving me a blood sugar spike the "nudge"? Or maybe my estrogen? First, Christians suggesting God Almighty has an obedience plan for whether suburban moms play lego on the floor with their kids or not is just a new level of absurdity but also the scrupulosity that every minute decision must be weighed in impossible ways. Easy to laugh at but also really destructive.

AH clearly has tapped into the religious audience and has found a way to extract both attention and money. Besides the sex, I don’t think that AH gets her need for attention met by Shaun, and her audience and shopping fill that void. These ladies adore and want to emulate AH. Many of these folks might also be hampered by scrupulosity and AH’s message just reinforces those negative inclinations. I don’t think AH, herself, is affected by scrupulosity in the least. She is well educated in scripture and uses that knowledge with ease to get attention and make money. The real pathology here is AH’s need for pregnancy after pregnancy and the attention she derives from it. She clearly has no interest in children or caring for a home beyond fancy mismatched Anthro and antique store crap. I doubt she is even nice to her kids or husband. She just isn’t interested in any of the the things that tradition, religious women enjoy. She has made too many slips over the years; mentioning how she doesn’t really know how to cook, and loves that some of the kids do, and that her mother often brings meals over. Earlier this year when she was PG and miscarried, and was evidently angry at the timing, Shaun called her out on her ongoing bad behavior. What kind of sane woman (who claims to love the Lord, and her children and is obedient to her husband) who doesn’t use birth control is angry at their husband when they get PG? Come on, now. AH’s shtick is all about the money. She is playing a part and God and the children are her props. She literally is the female version of JB Duggar without the smile or the ability to more readily hide her contempt- It’s too bad she doesn’t realize that many can see through the act and can tell that she just isn’t a kind person to others and her natural inclination is cranky-

[neuroticcat]

She is filming teaching sessions to go alongside her book today. Given the linked production company and the fact that her publisher doesn't appear to offer streaming curricula, I imagine this is self funded. Unfortunately, her followers will likely pay to hear Abbie mislead them. Too bad that it will also appear to lend credibility to her as a filmed "Bible teacher." 

Was trying to see if she received any professional reviews from industry leaders (she didn't) but did find these comp titles. Probably not a win? 

 

M is for MAMA (and also Merlot): A Modern Mom's ABCs

M is for Monster

And another truthful review: 

"I truly, deeply hated this book. This may be due somewhat to personal circumstances or my own unacknowledged sin- I think that’s what the author would say- but I came away from this book even more depressed than when I started. To my stress, exhaustion, and despair, she responded “work harder! Just don’t be sad! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! And don’t forget that you need to stake yourself firmly on the conservative side of the culture wars!” The whole tone of the book rubbed me the wrong way and was devoid of the sympathy (not validation, sympathy) that I had hoped to find in the book."

 

[SassyPants]

AH cant’ have sympathy or compassion because she apparently, and self-admittedly, does not possess those very personal and interpersonal skills. In fact, she has mentioned that her oldest daughter rubs her the wrong way at times because she is so caring and kind (WTF). She just presents so flat, cold and unapproachable. Put her in a habit and zap her back to 1960 and she would have been a perfect cloistered nun {all legalistic religious rules without one clue how to make that faith vibrant and alive or how to live Christ’s #1 message, “love others like I have loved you.”

I hope the H kids’ grandmother is kind, loving and motherly.

 

[luv2laugh]

She’s TOTALLY presenting herself as the new Michelle Duggar in snazzier, “hipper” packaging: (what she says below & it sounds exactly like Michelle Duggar’s shtick)

”I’m Abbie & I have 10 children. Yep. You heard that right. I have 10 children and TWO sets of identical twins. It is ooone busy life, and I consider it a joy filled one!” 

 

She is so far up her own ass posting all about this in stories on Instagram.  The video shtick is actually on the videographer’s Instagram. 

Edited October 28, 2022 by luv2laugh

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m surprised she doesn’t brag about her homebirths in that quote. 

[neuroticcat]

1 hour ago, luv2laugh said:

She’s TOTALLY presenting herself as the new Michelle Duggar in snazzier, “hipper” packaging: (what she says below & it sounds exactly like Michelle Duggar’s shtick)

”I’m Abbie & I have 10 children. Yep. You heard that right. I have 10 children and TWO sets of identical twins. It is ooone busy life, and I consider it a joy filled one!” 
 

 

I'm betting cutting her hair was in preparation for this series. She wants to take over the Duggar market but not be conflated with them. Savvy.

[luv2laugh]

8 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I'm betting cutting her hair was in preparation for this series. She wants to take over the Duggar market but not be conflated with them. Savvy.

I agree. It’s obvious that’s what she’s trying to do because of how often she has Jessa hawking her shit. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s paying Jessa to do it! Jessa has 2.5 mil followers. 
 

I think Abbie has been obsessed with the Duggars for a long time. Her BFF mentor, Flanders family (14 kids) that she sometimes shows, was on the Duggar show before. 

Edited October 28, 2022 by luv2laugh

[Ozlsn]

On 10/28/2022 at 2:20 AM, SassyPants said:

She is playing a part and God and the children are her props.

I think it's more complicated - the godly home maker is what her idealised self-image is, but it's a terrible fit for her personality, especially with the constant need for validation/admiration. So she's frustrated but keeps going and meshes the need with her idealised image to try and meet both. And then the cracks come through clearly anyway. 

Honestly I wish she'd get some bloody therapy (and a tubal ligation).

[neuroticcat]

21 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I think it's more complicated - the godly home maker is what her idealised self-image is, but it's a terrible fit for her personality, especially with the constant need for validation/admiration. So she's frustrated but keeps going and meshes the need with her idealised image to try and meet both. And then the cracks come through clearly anyway. 

Honestly I wish she'd get some bloody therapy (and a tubal ligation).

I agree. Fundamentalist Christianity has no space for personality or personhood. However the "right way" is defined (externally by leaders/authorities and internally by yourself) is what you need to submit to. I do think there are complete grifters who manipulate the Christian market (MyPillow guy, anyone?), but I think influencers like Abbie are a bit more complex and do believe the narrative at some level. She may be working the system (I don't work from home! I'm not Quiverfull! I've never even watched the Duggars, etc.), but I think birthing 10 kids is a level of commitment beyond LARPing. 

[luv2laugh]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

I think it's more complicated - the godly home maker is what her idealised self-image is, but it's a terrible fit for her personality, especially with the constant need for validation/admiration. So she's frustrated but keeps going and meshes the need with her idealised image to try and meet both.

Braggie Abbie is someone that would’ve thrived long-term as a career woman & I think she knows that and resents career women. I believe Abbie had trouble managing with the first twins, she admitted she was actually still working right before (3 kids, working as a teacher, and pregnant with the twins). She was clearly someone who was trying to “do it all”, have them career & the kids, and the sudden 5th kids burnt her out. She admitted she had something close to PPD with the twins. I think she felt better with the attention pregnancies brought her, the extra clout within church circles, extra blog clicks & likes (she used to be obsessed with posting thrifting outfit modelesque pics), & didn’t want to go back to work. In order to “justify” staying at home to herself, I think she pulled a Lori and kept having kids. I don’t think she wanted to be known as “just a regular SAHM” by going the SAHM route. I think she wanted to forge ahead in an extreme way and go all out & ride the wave of the additional attention & clicks she knew it’d bring along.

In fact, with all the extra attention the book deals have brought her, I believe she will turn this into a career, hire homeschooled daughters like Michelle Duggar did for help, and try to pretend like it’s not a career.

Edited October 29, 2022 by luv2laugh

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I'm betting cutting her hair was in preparation for this series. She wants to take over the Duggar market but not be conflated with them. Savvy.

Or maybe someone suggested that maybe her hair would be easier to manage if she cut some of it off?  Abbie admitted that she rarely washed it because it was such a process. A secondary positive is she looks so much better with short hair. Her face is too long for long, heavy hair, and add on the constant scowl, and she was coming off as a perpetual Karen.

[Hane]

In a way, she reminds me of ThatWife, mother of poor BathroomBaby. Both grew up in cultures that stressed marriage and motherhood, which were less than ideal fits for both of them, but glommed onto the concepts with dogged and misplaced “I’ll make this work even if it kills everybody” stubbornness.

[SassyPants]

3 minutes ago, Hane said:

In a way, she reminds me of ThatWife, mother of poor BathroomBaby. Both grew up in cultures that stressed marriage and motherhood, which were less than ideal fits for both of them, but glommed onto the concepts with dogged and misplaced “I’ll make this work even if it kills everybody” stubbornness.

The thing is, if people online and who have never met the woman can see right through the act, can’t others closer to her recognize it? Family, friends, kids, church people?

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

The thing is, if people online and who have never met the woman can see right through the act, can’t others closer to her recognize it? Family, friends, kids, church people?

I’m sure some do but they don’t say anything. That’s the thing, in real life, people keep all of that stuff to themselves. It’s probably why so many people can’t shut the fuck up on social media about every last thought and opinion they’ve ever had. They bite their tongues all morning at church and the go home and let loose on random strangers on FB. 

Edited October 29, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[Cults-r-us]

6 minutes ago, Hane said:

In a way, she reminds me of ThatWife, mother of poor BathroomBaby. Both grew up in cultures that stressed marriage and motherhood, which were less than ideal fits for both of them, but glommed onto the concepts with dogged and misplaced “I’ll make this work even if it kills everybody” stubbornness.

I remember a clip of Meeshelle and 3-4 daughters playing violin together. It seemed authentic and presented a level of authenticity and community Abbie will never share with her kids. 

[danvillebelle]

Book club SERIES?  Great googly moogly, Abbie's inner narcissist is dancing a jig.  More time spent not having to deal with the kids, and all the focus is on HER.

ETA: I wonder how they will edit out her "UMs" that she says about every 7 seconds when she's vlogging in her car? 

Edited October 29, 2022 by danvillebelle

[theotherelise]

I just read (listened) to the book “Celebrities for Jesus: How Personas, Platforms, and Profits are Hurting the Church.” It is a quick listen and good, especially if you grew up in the Christian cultures. 

The part that Abbie will never be able to get away from is that she sought the platform from day one. She started a blog because she wanted to grow an audience to write a book someday. She doesn’t sell merchandise with scripture, she sells it with her created sayings. Everything shows she wants the celebrity and the influencer status more than any actual “dying to self.”

[danvillebelle]

Braggie posted on her IG stories that her book has sold 40K copies.  (which left her in "tearful awe" - again, she cries over her book numbers and leg humpers, but she doesn't cry when it comes to her own family)

As horrifying as that is, it is also WAY LESS than I expected, which makes me a little bit relieved.  As in, the only people who bought it are mainly people who already believed the way she does.  She isn't winning people over to the dark side. 

[luv2laugh]

6 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

Braggie posted on her IG stories that her book has sold 40K copies.  (which left her in "tearful awe" - again, she cries over her book numbers and leg humpers, but she doesn't cry when it comes to her own family)

As horrifying as that is, it is also WAY LESS than I expected, which makes me a little bit relieved.  As in, the only people who bought it are mainly people who already believed the way she does.  She isn't winning people over to the dark side. 

It was also less than I expected too. 

[marmalade]

That's not even 1/3 of her IG followers. Although I would guess that she has a lot of people like us looking in on her antics. 

[Cults-r-us]

On 10/28/2022 at 5:56 PM, Ozlsn said:

 

Honestly I wish she'd get some bloody therapy (and a tubal ligation).

And an antidepressant and some friends (not leg humpers) of her own and some gd parenting instruction and public school for her hostage children. There has got to be a way for this crazy b---- to level out a little bit.