M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!

[danvillebelle]

Braggie's obsession with her rat's nest of a head of hair, and thinking her followers are just as fascinated with it as she is, is...bizarre.

[FunFunFundie]

The “pick your hard” makes sense if you have seen the terrible but terribly popular meme that basically says things like “Working on your marriage is hard. Being divorced is hard. Pick your hard.” The whole point is that people (women) are in control of basically everything and should suck it up. “Obesity is hard, being fit is hard, pick your hard. Being in debt is hard, being financially responsible is hard. Pick your hard.”

IMO it’s a way to judge anybody who is struggling in any way because they ~chose~ to be poor, unhealthy, divorced, etc. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 9/8/2022 at 6:38 PM, SassyPants said:

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She should go back to this look. It’s far more flattering.

Plus she probably washed it more and didn’t use a dirty fork as a brush. 

[neuroticcat]

Curly haired people: is sand in your hair after the beach a regular thing? That sounds really unpleasant.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Now a Collingsworth is reading her ego stroking instagram in book form trash:

PS: I’m so embarrassed to admit I read Beverly Lewis when I was young. 

Edited September 13, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[Maggie Mae]

Was Beverly Lewis the author who wrote fictional books about marrying Amish people and adopting the lifestyle? I read some of those. I think there might have been a series. 

[neuroticcat]

I think Christian publishing/media holds a big part of the bill for keeping women in particular in fundamentalism. Look at that reading list! A steady diet of nostalgic family fantasy, Christian non-fiction - if you find yourself experiencing cognitive dissonance, well, on to the next book to tell you how you ought to live! 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

25 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I think Christian publishing/media holds a big part of the bill for keeping women in particular in fundamentalism. Look at that reading list! A steady diet of nostalgic family fantasy, Christian non-fiction - if you find yourself experiencing cognitive dissonance, well, on to the next book to tell you how you ought to live! 

Actually I've read quite a few Christian novels and most of them wouldn't be fundie enough for the fundies we follow here.

"Nonfiction" Christian preaching is a different story, though.

Edited September 13, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[JermajestyDuggar]

29 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I think Christian publishing/media holds a big part of the bill for keeping women in particular in fundamentalism. Look at that reading list! A steady diet of nostalgic family fantasy, Christian non-fiction - if you find yourself experiencing cognitive dissonance, well, on to the next book to tell you how you ought to live! 

Just imagine if they read mainstream books. With LGBTQ+ characters, sex before marriage, and women having careers over families. They read these things to feel good and put their minds at ease. It’s hard to read things that make you question things you’ve devoted your entire life to. 

[neuroticcat]

Today's stories someone questions how "she does it all" b/c she insisted on posting another insanely long todo list for public accountability (wink, wink).

She's able to say that she didn't get to everything but at 10PM she didn't beat herself up for it b/c she did her various jobs in Christ's strength. And then she went to bed.

I am glad Abbie didn't beat herself up for not doing an impossible amount of work. I would *love* for her to be able to see that the pass she's able to give herself? She withholds it from earnest Christian mothers all the time by suggesting earnest Christian mothers must strive for some sort of unattainable excellence or else they're mediocre less-than Christians.

I wonder what would be more troubling: watching Abbie deconstruct in 10 years and reckon with the immeasurable damage her platforming her opinions does OR seeing Abbie not change at all in 10 years and double-down. 

I have a good friend who has deconstructed. She (kindly) asked her mother one day: Mom, do you have any regrets? And her mom was totally just like: Nope, not really. !!! Wild. 

 

Edited September 13, 2022 by neuroticcat

[nellautumngirl]

On 9/12/2022 at 6:03 PM, neuroticcat said:

Curly haired people: is sand in your hair after the beach a regular thing? That sounds really unpleasant.

 

No. I have curls and I don't recall ever having that. Unless she rolled around in it 😄

Edited September 13, 2022 by nellautumngirl

[danvillebelle]

18 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I wonder what would be more troubling: watching Abbie deconstruct in 10 years and reckon with the immeasurable damage her platforming her opinions does OR seeing Abbie not change at all in 10 years and double-down. 

Oh, I think she's a narcissist to the bone - unless she gets some kind of mental help someday, she will double down until she shuffles off this mortal coil. Even if some of her kids grow up and deconstruct/change religions/come out/whatever.  She could never admit she MIGHT have been wrong about something.  

[yeahthatsme74]

22 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Now a Collingsworth is reading her ego stroking instagram in book form trash:

PS: I’m so embarrassed to admit I read Beverly Lewis when I was young. 

What a dismal stack of books to read!

[SuperNova]

I don't think I'll ever stop being fascinated by Abbie's strange assertions. Until she came along, I can't say that I've ever heard a parent call themselves a "victim" of their children. It's so far out of my realm of experience as a mother that I don't think I could dream up this angle in a million years. Not only does Abbie feel victimized, she calls moving past it, 'the single most important perspective shift'. I mean, maybe it was important shift for her but she's attempting to assign her shortcomings as a normal aspect of being a mom and I'm calling bullshit. She takes it even further and claims that her kids bully her. Can she even hear herself? This is an insanely unhealthy view. I'm floored that she only lost a thousand followers because her advice is a hot steaming pile of garbage. 

Spoiler

 

[Cults-r-us]

On 9/13/2022 at 4:00 PM, neuroticcat said:

Today's stories someone questions how "she does it all" b/c she insisted on posting another insanely long todo list for public accountability (wink, wink).

She's able to say that she didn't get to everything but at 10PM she didn't beat herself up for it b/c she did her various jobs in Christ's strength. And then she went to bed.

I am glad Abbie didn't beat herself up for not doing an impossible amount of work. I would *love* for her to be able to see that the pass she's able to give herself? She withholds it from earnest Christian mothers all the time by suggesting earnest Christian mothers must strive for some sort of unattainable excellence or else they're mediocre less-than Christians.

That is because one person and one person only gets a pass and her name begins with A.

 

 

[neuroticcat]

I mean, I guess if you feel you have no choice but surrender to as many babies as God wills, maybe you do feel like a victim? I don't know. Definitely takes some gymnastics to get there.

Also, I think Abbie, like many fundamentalists (myself included in my fundie days), does not have a realistic concept of human emotions or ability to name them. So feeling like a victim could be anything from: depressed, sad, overwhelmed, frightened - any hard emotion that makes you feel powerless in the day in day out with young children. The remedy is of course Bible verses and to just stop being a victim, duh. 

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I mean, I guess if you feel you have no choice but surrender to as many babies as God wills, maybe you do feel like a victim?

In that case, she would be a victim of God, who sends the kids. Anyway, Abbie uses birth control to space the kids (as far as we know, it only failed twice), so she is a victim of her own decisions.

 

[Cults-r-us]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

In that case, she would be a victim of God, who sends the kids. Anyway, Abbie uses birth control to space the kids (as far as we know, it only failed twice), so she is a victim of her own decisions.

 

But Abbie is a victim of her narcissistic pathology. She needs those kids and associated hoop-la to get narcissistic supply. I suspect it would be near impossible for Abbie to get any insight into herself and improve her mental health.

The kids are the real victims, but no one in the family seems able to intervene. I bet they are relieved she is always elsewhere.  I would sure be interested in understanding what makes Shaun tick.

[JermajestyDuggar]

37 minutes ago, Cults-r-us said:

But Abbie is a victim of her narcissistic pathology. She needs those kids and associated hoop-la to get narcissistic supply. I suspect it would be near impossible for Abbie to get any insight into herself and improve her mental health.

The kids are the real victims, but no one in the family seems able to intervene. I bet they are relieved she is always elsewhere.  I would sure be interested in understanding what makes Shaun tick.

Her mother definitely seems to be her biggest enabler. She enabled her all through her childhood and has enabled her throughout adulthood. 

[NotQuiteMotY]

20 hours ago, yeahthatsme74 said:

What a dismal stack of books to read!

There's a couple of "Road to Avonlea" in there; they may be good. And Beverly Lewis at least has "worldly" characters?

[yeahthatsme74]

2 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

There's a couple of "Road to Avonlea" in there; they may be good. And Beverly Lewis at least has "worldly" characters?

Yes, those would probably be okay, but man, she needs something else to balance all that dreariness out! 😄

[neuroticcat]

So today's post has the one about being a victim also has a slide about your kids "bullying" you? Is this a thing parents are feeling? I don't get that at all.

The Q and A is, as usual, revealing. I find her constant discussion of finding things on the cheap to be super familiar part of conservative Christianity. I mean, it seems clear that they are decently situated financially, so I wonder where the compulsion to explain everything is bought used, discount, etc. Guilt for overspending? Habit of conservative Christianity that it's selfish unless it's a need? Curious to know if this is a thing people outside of conservative faith circles experience? Like, do you feel guilty if you buy something you don't "need" or feel the desire to justify a purchase that someone else could judge as luxury or too much $ by talking about thrifting?

She writes that having 10 kids the ages they are now is easier than 5 kids 6-and-under. I wonder why that could be? 

Also, there are video lessons and a study guide forthcoming for the book. 

Someone asks about books to encourage moms. She plugs her own pretty hard and then suggests the one Douglas Wilson's daughter wrote. Oh, man, run away, followers!

 

Also, since she and her husband are sick, Ezra (their oldest? Is he 16?) is taking all but the littlest twins out to some evening event. I predict she gets challenged on giving her teenager that much parenting responsibility and counter that he loves it and would be mad if she didn't or the other lies QF moms tell themselves to stay in denial. 

I will never understand how today's QF parents who can literally hop online and read from kids who grew up in these families how destructive this was for families are like: yep! Good for it!

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

So today's post has the one about being a victim also has a slide about your kids "bullying" you? Is this a thing parents are feeling? I don't get that at all.

The Q and A is, as usual, revealing. I find her constant discussion of finding things on the cheap to be super familiar part of conservative Christianity. I mean, it seems clear that they are decently situated financially, so I wonder where the compulsion to explain everything is bought used, discount, etc. Guilt for overspending? Habit of conservative Christianity that it's selfish unless it's a need? Curious to know if this is a thing people outside of conservative faith circles experience? Like, do you feel guilty if you buy something you don't "need" or feel the desire to justify a purchase that someone else could judge as luxury or too much $ by talking about thrifting?

She writes that having 10 kids the ages they are now is easier than 5 kids 6-and-under. I wonder why that could be? 

Also, there are video lessons and a study guide forthcoming for the book. 

Someone asks about books to encourage moms. She plugs her own pretty hard and then suggests the one Douglas Wilson's daughter wrote. Oh, man, run away, followers!

 

Also, since she and her husband are sick, Ezra (their oldest? Is he 16?) is taking all but the littlest twins out to some evening event. I predict she gets challenged on giving her teenager that much parenting responsibility and counter that he loves it and would be mad if she didn't or the other lies QF moms tell themselves to stay in denial. 

I will never understand how today's QF parents who can literally hop online and read from kids who grew up in these families how destructive this was for families are like: yep! Good for it!

I think she’s probably surrounded by large Christian families struggling to make ends meet. I’m sure they are always talking about doing free things or cheap things because it’s all they can afford. But we know Braggie can afford way more than many large homeschooling Christian families. She’s just doing it because it’s the norm in her circles. Plus she likely gets a “high” from finding a good deal. Even if it isn’t actually a good deal because she doesn’t need it and it will just clutter up her giant house. 

[luv2laugh]

On 9/15/2022 at 6:34 AM, Cults-r-us said:

 I would sure be interested in understanding what makes Shaun tick.

I don’t think anything makes Shaun tick. I think he’s a passive & checked out. Today, Abbie says his patience inspires her but I think she’s confusing patience for indifference. 

Edited September 16, 2022 by luv2laugh

[theotherelise]

Abbie is glomming on to more Duggars now. She and Kendra and she and Joy just mutual followed each other on IG.