M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!

[Ozlsn]

2 hours?! I mean my "hair cuts" go for over 2 but it's the colouring hair that takes the time, not the cutting part. What else did she have done?

[JermajestyDuggar]

If she spent so much time detangling when washing, she was not taking care of her hair between washings. But we knew that. She neglected her hair like she neglects her children. 

[anachronistic]

In the mid-80s you didn’t get to schedule a c-section, you were just told that it would happen and when it would happen. I mean, my mom was given sort of a choice, like, this week or in 2 weeks because I’m going on vacation*, and she understandably was done being pregnant and said this week, and the doctor said, okay, this day then. It never occurred to her to argue.

Anyway. This is how I ended up being born on my older siblings birthday.  They had a very, very hard time with it for a long time because I stole their birthday. It took my decades to realize that my dad and his sibling also had the same birthday, years apart, total coincidence, and my dad never resented it, and my sibling was weird about it.
 

*He was going on vacation because it was a holiday weekend determined by the births of some dead guy a long time ago, and that’s why I’ve always know that astrology was bunk, because for my birth date to mean anything it would’ve meant going back hundreds of years to that dead guys birth date and that’s ridiculous.

 

 

 

[theotherelise]

I genuinely hate going out to shop, so I would never understand the anthro trips for that alone. But even for someone who enjoys shopping, this has got to be overkill. Over the summer, didn't we see Abbie go to two or three anthro stores in Chicago and one in Hawaii? And now she forced another visit in during the trip that was purportedly for Evy and Nola. What is she even looking for? Anthro does not have children's clothing. It's just clothes for Abbie and home decor - both of which she has plenty of already

[JermajestyDuggar]

36 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

I genuinely hate going out to shop, so I would never understand the anthro trips for that alone. But even for someone who enjoys shopping, this has got to be overkill. Over the summer, didn't we see Abbie go to two or three anthro stores in Chicago and one in Hawaii? And now she forced another visit in during the trip that was purportedly for Evy and Nola. What is she even looking for? Anthro does not have children's clothing. It's just clothes for Abbie and home decor - both of which she has plenty of already

I think she’s generally unhappy and tries to make herself happy with shopping. 

[danvillebelle]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think she’s generally unhappy and tries to make herself happy with shopping. 

This, and I also think she thinks it gives her some kind of elitist clout to say she shops there regularly.  Which is hysterical, because it's so rich white girl basic that there have been entire parody pages made for it, lol.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

This, and I also think she thinks it gives her some kind of elitist clout to say she shops there regularly.  Which is hysterical, because it's so rich white girl basic that there have been entire parody pages made for it, lol.

I like some of the stuff in there but it’s usually much too overpriced for me. I’m cheap. That’s why I’m often at thrift stores. Braggie thinks she’s getting a great deal when she finds something at Anthro on sale. But even when it’s clearance priced, it’s over priced. 

[SassyPants]

Raise your hand if you’ve never been in an Anthro. Store?

 

Raises hand

[Baxter]

An Anthropologie opened in my city in Canada maybe 10 years ago. I walked through it once out of curiosity when I was at the mall anyways. I was not impressed and haven't been back since. 

[treehugger]

It’s funny because to me Anthro gives off “want to be rich” vibes.  It’s pricey, but not particularly good quality and everything in there is still off the rack.  I have been there a few times for quirky gifts and occasionally they will have collaborations with designers, but I usually prefer to shop at places where I can at least get my pants hemmed properly if I am going to spend that kind of money. 

[Maggie Mae]

24 minutes ago, treehugger said:

It’s funny because to me Anthro gives off “want to be rich” vibes.  It’s pricey, but not particularly good quality and everything in there is still off the rack.  I have been there a few times for quirky gifts and occasionally they will have collaborations with designers, but I usually prefer to shop at places where I can at least get my pants hemmed properly if I am going to spend that kind of money. 

It's owned by the same company that owns Urban Outfitters and Free People. 

Also there were a few years on Gilmore Girls where I wondered how Lorelai and Rory could afford to outfit their entire life in Anthropologie/Urban Outfitters - it's upscale mall quality, so fast fashion for the upper middle class. 

Nordstrom is a similar price point and they offer free tailoring, free bra fittings and an unlimited return policy. 

[SuperNova]

20 hours ago, treehugger said:

It’s funny because to me Anthro gives off “want to be rich” vibes.  It’s pricey, but not particularly good quality and everything in there is still off the rack.  I have been there a few times for quirky gifts and occasionally they will have collaborations with designers, but I usually prefer to shop at places where I can at least get my pants hemmed properly if I am going to spend that kind of money. 

To the bolded, it's what merch distributors call "perceived value". The stuff isn't any better than what you'd get at Target or even the flea market but the lighting and product styling makes it feel more special. Sometimes the collections of ethnic trinkets will be made in specific colors for the Abbies of the world but other than that, you end up paying sometimes 10x the price of discount retailers who are choosing from the same warehouse of goods that Anthropologie does. 

[fluffernutter]

My daughter fell in love with urban outfitters when she was around sixteen. We had promised to re-do her room as a bday present, and she got a wall hanging and comforter from there.  The wall hanging was so cheap looking to me, and the comforter fell apart. I have comforters I got at Sears in the 90's and 2000's that are like tanks. Nothing happens to them.

[SassyPants]

SURPRISE , SURPRISE …pet IG Abbie has never had baby fever! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

27 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

SURPRISE , SURPRISE …pet IG Abbie has never had baby fever! 

I never had even I smidge of baby fever after I had my second. I was so done. And I knew it 100%. Braggie should listen to her lack of baby fever and just stop. 

[anjulibai]

I have to admit - I like Anthropologie. But I could never afford it. Once I was able to get a nice table runner on clearance for about $15, and that's all I have from them. I definitely wouldn't bring my kids to one on their birthdays. 

[Baxter]

I'll admit to having an occasional bit of sadness that I won't have another baby. It's usually when I'm sorting through baby clothes and other things to get rid of. But then I think about all the things I disliked about having babies like being pregnant, breastfeeding and having milk leak everywhere, babies spitting up, changing diapers, being woken up every hour for weeks or months on end. Then I feel very happy to stick to my decision only to have two. I love my kids to bits and would do almost anything for them. But I am done with babies. A snuggly baby is nice. But my kids still cuddle and they put on their own shoes. 😄

[JermajestyDuggar]

40 minutes ago, Baxter said:

I'll admit to having an occasional bit of sadness that I won't have another baby. It's usually when I'm sorting through baby clothes and other things to get rid of. But then I think about all the things I disliked about having babies like being pregnant, breastfeeding and having milk leak everywhere, babies spitting up, changing diapers, being woken up every hour for weeks or months on end. Then I feel very happy to stick to my decision only to have two. I love my kids to bits and would do almost anything for them. But I am done with babies. A snuggly baby is nice. But my kids still cuddle and they put on their own shoes. 😄

I totally agree. Facebook memories will pop up and I will see a picture of two of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen (my babies lol) and have a twinge. It’s not baby fever. It’s just missing that adorable cute face. But it passes very quickly because I had such a hard time when they were little. It was probably one of the worst times in my life (mental health wise) so I would never go back. It’s too bad I couldn’t enjoy that time more. But I am so glad I am past that “season of life” as fundies say. 

[Hane]

When I was 45 and had an endometrial ablation to deal with heavy periods, I would get a twinge of sadness when I saw young moms pushing their babies around in strollers—but it wasn’t too long till I instead started thinking, “How nice—for them!”

I must admit, I did take my child to Anthropologie—on her thirtieth birthday. I bought her a dress there from the discount closet, celebrating not only her birthday but the fact that she was debuting in a show that night. (Young Little Edie in the musical “Grey Gardens, which she *killed*. I was especially proud of her because she was called in almost at the last minute to replace an actress who was fired for being a prima donna. #proudmom #stagemother4lyf)

[anachronistic]

I want babies very much. I also want puppies very much. I solve both of these problems (pre pandemic) with the inter library loan system known as my community. I make it known how much I love babies and puppies, and when someone has one I ask to visit, and I bring gifts for the babies, and I cuddle and smell them deeply, and then when they throw up or scream or poop I leave.

I highly recommend this system.

Abbie should definitely use it, except nobody would loan her their babies (she’d pass them on to her kids) or puppies (they honestly might not make it out alive.) Maybe that’s why she had so many of her own, to prove to people who boggled at her first pregnancy because she hates kids so much, that she can do it.

[Giraffe]

4 hours ago, Hane said:

When I was 45 and had an endometrial ablation to deal with heavy periods, I would get a twinge of sadness when I saw young moms pushing their babies around in strollers—but it wasn’t too long till I instead started thinking, “How nice—for them!”

I’ve begun the process of getting an ablation. I have the biopsy in a couple of weeks. I’ve been surprised that (so far!) I haven’t felt any baby fever or sadness that I’ll never be pregnant*. 
 

*pregnancy is still possible post ablation but it’s life threatening and is advised to be ended as soon as possible. 

[Hane]

@Giraffe, one of my doctor’s patients who spoke with me about her ablation had a very limited one that, IIRC, removed some uterine endometrial tissue that was blocking off the places where her Fallopian tubes connected with her uterus, in hopes of improving her fertility. The doctor who operated on us was a pioneer in the field, one of the first to perform this in our state, and instructed other doctors in the procedure.

[Giraffe]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

@Giraffe, one of my doctor’s patients who spoke with me about her ablation had a very limited one that, IIRC, removed some uterine endometrial tissue that was blocking off the places where her Fallopian tubes connected with her uterus, in hopes of improving her fertility. The doctor who operated on us was a pioneer in the field, one of the first to perform this in our state, and instructed other doctors in the procedure.

Interesting! I’m 100% not interested in pregnancy so mine will be the “classic” version. Was your friend able to carry a pregnancy successfully after that?

[Hane]

12 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Interesting! I’m 100% not interested in pregnancy so mine will be the “classic” version. Was your friend able to carry a pregnancy successfully after that?

I don’t know—my only contact with her was that one phone conversation, 25 years ago.

[neuroticcat]

This was a really interesting read, and I thought of Abbie & all the insta-Christian women as I read it: 

"Jen Sutphin, a critic of the movement and the creator of the popular YouTube channel Fundie Fridays, eviscerates famous evangelicals each week. She put it this way to me: “They hate feminism, but they all want to be girl bosses.”

One of the core paradoxes of the evangelical influencing space is ironically the same one as the secular feminist influencers they rail against: both preach positivity and self-love, but the most successful among them are young, conventionally beautiful and usually white. The evangelical influencing space is a hybrid of consumer capitalism with a glittery patina of inspirational quotes. Any complex philosophy is shoved through a meat grinder, with the prettiest bits plucked out to slap on to an Instagram caption.

What makes evangelical influencers succeed is not their knowledge of biblical law but their ability to present an aspirational lifestyle in an appealingly curated way – to project a story about married love, God’s power or childbearing in an appealing package. Prophets, politicians, con artists and Instagram influencers have that in common: an ability to weave a good yarn. And stories are hard to debunk because they play on emotion – aspiration, longing, fear, shame – not facts."

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/oct/05/brittany-dawn-davis-tiktok-christian-social-media-influencer?CMP=share_btn_tw