Maxwell 52: Retired Vests, Retired Blog, and Retired Maxwells

[Fun-Dee]

I think my favorite comment was "The bride and groom dismissing us by rows was great." 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve said this before but Teri reminds me of my mom. My mom is a reserved type of person. She is quiet, introverted and can get anxious. She would have hated having Teri’s life. She would have hated to have a controlling husband, homeschooling kids, and having 8 of them. Even though they seem to have similar personalities to me, my mom seems so much happier than Teri. But she’s divorced and only has 2 kids and 4 grandkids. I imagine my mom wouldn’t like having a ton of grandkids either. She made choices that were best for her. Teri didn’t. Teri made choices that Steve said were best. And he picked up the slack when she became a shell of a person. When I look at Teri, I just see what my mom would have been like if she had a controlling husband that used religion against her (because my mom is religious so it could have happened).

[JermajestyDuggar]

Well this just looks like way too much fun. I hope Steve doesn’t find out. 

[Hane]

3 hours ago, Fun-Dee said:

I think my favorite comment was "The bride and groom dismissing us by rows was great." 

I thought that was bizarre, too, the first time I read it—then I learned that it’s a kind of regional substitute for the traditional receiving line. The bride and groom go to each row of guests to greet them and thank them for attending.

See below. Of course, the Maxwell guests wouldn’t have any delayed cocktail hour to worry about.

 

Edited April 26, 2022 by Hane

[Bethy]

19 hours ago, Hane said:

I thought that was bizarre, too, the first time I read it—then I learned that it’s a kind of regional substitute for the traditional receiving line. The bride and groom go to each row of guests to greet them and thank them for attending.

See below. Of course, the Maxwell guests wouldn’t have any delayed cocktail hour to worry about.

 

I can see both sides of this. Coming from a part of the country where the receiving line was standard, and being an awkward, introverted child, weddings were traumatic because maybe it was a cousin I wasn't even all that close to, and his bride who I'd only met a couple of times, and now I'm supposed to go through a line that includes all of his friends and her friends that I've never even met, and what do I even say? So doing the "bride and groom dismiss by rows" thing was a breath of fresh air because at least there were only two people I had to talk to and in theory I had some measure of closeness with at least one of them. I can see delaying cocktail hour being a problem too, but only if you HAVE a cocktail hour or a respectable reception. Christopher's wedding (like a lot of fundie weddings) seemed cheap almost to the point of tacky, expecting people to travel from other states and the reception is literally a slice of cake and a handful of mints - Chelsy's taco soup was a big step up from that, and poor Anna3 ended up with no reception at all because they had to get married in the middle of a pandemic.

Basically, when it's a fundie wedding, standard wedding etiquette rules don't always help.

[SPHASH]

On 4/26/2022 at 5:29 PM, Bethy said:

Chelsy's taco soup was a big step up from that, 

Basically, when it's a fundie wedding, standard wedding etiquette rules don't always help.

Considering how Chelsy bragged about how people from all over the country came to the wedding in the middle of an Iowa winter I thought they could have served something more substantial than soup.

[Rosie]

On 4/25/2022 at 7:30 PM, Fun-Dee said:

I think my favorite comment was "The bride and groom dismissing us by rows was great." 

Melanie's post-ceremony yogurt consumption has occupied valuable space in the memory section of my brain for many years.

[fundiewatch]

The final family-of-ten breakfast of warm Pillsbury cinnamon rolls seems like such a sad whimper of a meal. Especially before a big day. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, fundiewatch said:

The final family-of-ten breakfast of warm Pillsbury cinnamon rolls seems like such a sad whimper of a meal. Especially before a big day. 

I would have been hungry again in an hour. 

[kpmom]

I really hope somewhere between the warm cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and the cake, mints and punch (without pulp 😄) after the wedding, they had a proper meal at some point.  A little protein somewhere along the way.

[ElizaB]

I don't think these super simple (no big meal) weddings are tacky or rude. I think that is normal for a lot of people (especially in the south). While my wedding was not like this and I agree that having a meal is nice- its just simply not expected in many circles in different parts of the US. The wedding ceremony is the "star" of the day and why people come. I don't think guests feel like they should be given anything more- because that is just not traditionally done for a lot of people. 

[Hane]

@ElizaB, I agree that these simple cake-and-punch receptions may be a regional thing. The only one I ever attended (here in New England) was my cousin’s wedding. At the time of the wedding, our grandmother was in the ICU dying of a stroke, and the bride’s family decided that having the full-blown reception with sit-down dinner and dancing wouldn’t be in good taste. They cancelled it in favor of a cake-and-punch reception in the church hall.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Hane

[JermajestyDuggar]

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a cake and punch wedding reception. I’ve been to a lot of cake and punch showers. But not weddings. I’ve only been to one southern wedding though. So that could be a big reason why. I’ve only been to one fry wedding. Boy was it dry. 

[Giraffe]

On 4/25/2022 at 4:30 PM, Fun-Dee said:

I think my favorite comment was "The bride and groom dismissing us by rows was great." 

Comments like this make me wonder how vastly different Terry’s life could have been if she’d gotten proper treatment for her depression. Her writing is so cold and factual but then she throws in “great” for something so mundane as an organized exit. Her life has been ruled by her need for extreme order for so long that she probably has no concept of how bizarre she sounds.  
 

She said she and Steve decided not to “think” (she put it in quotes) about the day until afterwards. It’ll completely normal not to have time to process a days’ events until later but she wrote it in such a way that it came across as super bizarre as though they’re so used to closing off any emotions that they simply put their thinking switch in the off position that day! I’m probably projecting some but damn that doesn’t sound like a healthy amount of self control at all!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Mary and Anna are likely headed home for the summer. Unless they got summer jobs at the school. Just imagine going back to ks to live for the summer. After all that freedom and fun. I would be asking Sarah if I could have a sleepover in her new place all the time. 

[Caroline]

31 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a cake and punch wedding reception. I’ve been to a lot of cake and punch showers. But not weddings. I’ve only been to one southern wedding though. So that could be a big reason why. I’ve only been to one fry wedding. Boy was it dry. 

I can't stand weddings and avoid them if I can. But if I absolutely must go, there had better be good food and cake, not cupcakes.  I'm tired of the cupcake trend.  Grumpy, tired me wishes you a good night and a great weekend

[mango_fandango]

There have been a lot of wedding reception discussions on FJ from what I’ve seen. I haven’t been to many weddings, but I think the main thing is, as long as it’s made clear what kind of reception there’ll be (whether it’s cake and punch or a three-course sit down meal) beforehand, that’s the best way to go about things. 

From what I’ve read on other forums about weddings here in the U.K., though, it’s very normal to have a full meal, and then more food in the evening depending on how long the wedding day is. I don’t think the idea of just having cake and a drink, and nothing else, would go down very well with a lot of people. I was just reading something about planning a wedding day and it said “don’t skimp on feeding your guests”. Of course there’ll be other British FJers who’ll probably say something different to what I just have! I suppose it’s like what I said earlier - as long as it’s clear what kind of food will be served, then guests can plan around that.

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, Caroline said:

I can't stand weddings and avoid them if I can. But if I absolutely must go, there had better be good food and cake, not cupcakes.  I'm tired of the cupcake trend.  Grumpy, tired me wishes you a good night and a great weekend

One wedding I went to had cake and cannolis. The cannolis were so much better than the cake. They were amazing. I would love it if there was a cannoli trend next!

Edited April 30, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[BigSandy]

4 hours ago, kpmom said:

I really hope somewhere between the warm cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and the cake, mints and punch (without pulp 😄) after the wedding, they had a proper meal at some point.  A little protein somewhere along the way.

Like yogurt? Hahaha sorry laughing at my own joke here!

[Ozlsn]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

One wedding I went to had cake and cannolis. The cannolis were so much better than the cake. They were amazing. I would love it if there was a cannoli trend next!

We had a profiterole tower. It was awesome. The worst wedding catering I know of (wasn't invited to but other family went) had OK food but all drinks were buy your own. Sorry but if you can afford the romantic butterflies being released (and I was pricing my wedding at the time so knew what that cost, heh) you can afford at least a beer, wine and soft drink reception!

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

We had a profiterole tower. It was awesome. The worst wedding catering I know of (wasn't invited to but other family went) had OK food but all drinks were buy your own. Sorry but if you can afford the romantic butterflies being released (and I was pricing my wedding at the time so knew what that cost, heh) you can afford at least a beer, wine and soft drink reception!

A little thoughtfulness and imagination can compensate for a lack of money in planning a wedding. I’ve always thought that a wedding timed so that you’d be having champagne and interesting canapés at 3 pm with live music would be fun and celebratory and that only the hard-hearted would snark. (I think a lack of alcohol in fundie weddings is a definite handicap.)

Edited April 30, 2022 by Bastet

[ElizaB]

I went to a wedding where they ordered a bunch of pizzas. It was super easy for them and you know what? Everyone loved it and it really set the tone for a fun wedding. 

[crawfishgirl]

I'm from the south, and most of the weddings that I've attended have had lots of alcohol and food.  Maybe just having cake and punch is a thing in certain regions of the south?  I'm from a predominately Catholic area, so maybe the areas with more fundies have different traditions.

[fundiefan]

18 hours ago, Caroline said:

I can't stand weddings and avoid them if I can. But if I absolutely must go, there had better be good food and cake, not cupcakes.  I'm tired of the cupcake trend.  Grumpy, tired me wishes you a good night and a great weekend

You'd have hated both my nieces' weddings - the last two I've been to. One had mini pies for dessert & one had a cookie bar. No cake. 

Both had awesome food though; both Italian; one provided by the venue and the other provided by a family owned restaurant the groom is family friends with. Pastas, pizzas, breads, soups, salads...so much yum!!

It's definitely a regional thing. I am in the midwest and have never been to a reception that was not a meal of some sort. Even laid back park weddings have burgers/brats/a cookout. 

[indianabones]

One of my cousins rented a house in Hood River for their wedding (it was surrounded by pear orchards and during harvest time, so that was fun!), held the wedding in the backyard, and hired three different food trucks to serve the guests- I think there were about 50 of us. It was a lot more enjoyable than the sit down dinners I've had at other wedding receptions and we didn't have to travel from the ceremony to the reception. I appreciated that part!