Dillards 90: Degrees, Exams, Vacations and Vaccinations, Oh MY!

[CanadianMamam]

56 minutes ago, Dollypolly said:

I have to ask about NDA are they in fact legal and binding or not worth the paper they are written on. As there is a load of threads the now talking of them.

i always thought but I’m UK that they are not legal. 
 

love Jills hair and both have come far since catgate. I can see further changes in the next 5 years or so. 

It depends how willing the company is to enforce them. I have friends in th gaming industry and yeah the NDAs are solid because those companies will sue and also you will get blacklisted. 

[karenb4729]

It's interesting that Jinger, Joy, and Jessa have all been recently active on social media along with some of the boys but there hasn't been anything from Jill recently.  I wonder how much the whole trial affected her, it couldn't have been easy to have to relive everything all over again and who knows how much she knew about what really happened to Joy or even to herself and her other sisters.  

[Father Son Holy Goat]

19 hours ago, karenb4729 said:

It's interesting that Jinger, Joy, and Jessa have all been recently active on social media along with some of the boys but there hasn't been anything from Jill recently.  I wonder how much the whole trial affected her, it couldn't have been easy to have to relive everything all over again and who knows how much she knew about what really happened to Joy or even to herself and her other sisters.  

I hope she is taking the time she needs for herself and having her version of a Merry Christmas with her boys.

[marmalade]

Derick posted tonight from Cross Church, so they're seemingly doing normal family activities.

[Smee]

Subtle as a sledgehammer

[Father Son Holy Goat]

18 hours ago, Smee said:

Subtle as a sledgehammer

I’m here for anyone quoting the Bible against Jim Bob.

[SassyPants]

The best thing the Dillards can do right now is to live very happy, healthy and successful lives. No need to poke the seething, loser, JBD. DD needs to show JBD who the better man, father and leader actually is.

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

The best thing the Dillards can do right now is to live very happy, healthy and successful lives. No need to poke the seething, loser, JBD. DD needs to show JBD who the better man, father and leader actually is.

Why should DD sit down & shut up? People have done that when it comes to JB for years. IMO, more power to DD for poking the bear. 

[Idlewild]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The best thing the Dillards can do right now is to live very happy, healthy and successful lives. No need to poke the seething, loser, JBD. DD needs to show JBD who the better man, father and leader actually is.

I think that would be true for most people- but JB & M don’t know when to sit down and shut the fuck up.

Their reaction to Josh being charged was to post a statement congratulating themselves on what awesome people they are; JB actually thought he would get elected to state senate while his son was standing trial for the most heinous crimes & JB lied on the witness stand. 
If people don’t continue to call them out for what they are, you can bet they’ll pop up again, worming their way on to the speaking circuit, pushing forward whichever useful idiot offspring decides to take forward the Duggar brand.

Derick needs to continue to be a thorn in their side.

[ExTeach713]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The best thing the Dillards can do right now is to live very happy, healthy and successful lives. No need to poke the seething, loser, JBD. DD needs to show JBD who the better man, father and leader actually is.

For most people I believe that would be the best course of action. For JB (and Michelle) I disagree. I hope we never lose sight of JB being a person who hid the sexual assault of his daughters and at least one other young girl to protect his son. Years later he lied in court, again to protect his son. Anything that erodes his power and exposes the evil secrets of the patriarchy is good in my book.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

9 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The best thing the Dillards can do right now is to live very happy, healthy and successful lives. No need to poke the seething, loser, JBD. DD needs to show JBD who the better man, father and leader actually is.

I think it depends on what Jill wants. She may want Derrick to say those things. Or she might want him to shut up. 

[imokit]

The best thing Derrick can do right now with regards to the Duggars is to do what his wife want him to do.  That means speaking out if Jill wants him to, or keeping his mouth (keyboard) shut if that's what she wants.

[just_ordinary]

I agree. It should be Jill’s call. And very honestly, I am not sure it is. Derick loves to throw himself into something when he feels superior. Right now it’s his in-laws. It feels like a personal vendetta for him and only now, that JB and M have been exposed by other forces he feels he can speak up himself. The few times he did “speak our” before, where extremely cryptic and it was more their choices than words that should us, some seriously rift had developed. He was happy enough to stay more quiet when he didn’t have the same backing. It’s good that JB and M get backlash. I just hope it’s not on the back in Jill’s feelings. In the end, she, her sisters, the other girl (babysitter?), those poor souls from the videos and Josh’s children are the real victims here. Derick acts as if he is kind of on the same level as his wife, when he is just not. Or at least that’s how it feels to me. 

[Beermeet]

6 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I think it depends on what Jill wants. She may want Derrick to say those things. Or she might want him to shut up. 

If I knew Jill was on board, I be 100% keeping it up.  If not, that's not cool.  I get the feeling she's OK with it,  if it upset her I don't think Derick would post like that and further upset her.  I could totally see her being not ready or willing to post such herself (yet, maybe) but happy someone is making them squirm.  Husbands and close friends/family can be good for that! 

Edited December 26, 2021 by Beermeet

[breakfree]

52 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

 Derick acts as if he is kind of on the same level as his wife, when he is just not. Or at least that’s how it feels to me. 

I agree that any suffering Derick has himself as an individual personally experienced at the hands of JB can't compare to what Jill personally experienced, but I also don't think you are fairly accounting for the impact that what was done to her has had on him by virtue of the fact that he is married to her. Everything she experienced he has been responsible for getting her help with and helping her see clearly.  Whatever one may think of him as a person, he was in the position of needing to help her escape from a cult, and if you think what happened to her does not impact or weigh heavy on him as her spouse i have to believe you are very mistaken.

I also think some people, rightly repulsed by a lot of Derick's views and actions, do underestimate what happened to him in his own experiences with JB. Make no mistake, Derick was sucked into and also had to escape from the cult himself. Fortunately for him, his background and connections to the outside world, as well as his privilege within the cult as a man, made this much easier for him than many others. But this begs the question of how an educated person from a relatively normal family entered a cult they had to escape from to begin with. A lot of people are sour on Derick and like to say he was college educated and should have known better. But in reality he was a young adult, isolated in Nepal far from family and friends (granted of his own choice), whose father had recently died, whose mother was deathly ill. If anyone doesn't think JB took advantage of Derick's youth and desperation at a vulnerable time in his life, and of the fact that Derick was naive enough to genuinely believe JB was a good and God fearing person who cared about him, I really can't help you.

In my book Derick has plenty of reason to be upset. It's not a competition of whether he or Jill had it worse and most definitely he has suffered and will continue to suffer from what JB did to both him and to Jill.

None of this excuses Derick's own views and actions, some of which remain incredibly problematic. But I think to be fair to him about what JB has done to him is both right and necessary in examining how the cult works and how he and Jill have managed to escape it.

[Mama Mia]

11 hours ago, breakfree said:

I agree that any suffering Derick has himself as an individual personally experienced at the hands of JB can't compare to what Jill personally experienced, but I also don't think you are fairly accounting for the impact that what was done to her has had on him by virtue of the fact that he is married to her. Everything she experienced he has been responsible for getting her help with and helping her see clearly.  Whatever one may think of him as a person, he was in the position of needing to help her escape from a cult, and if you think what happened to her does not impact or weigh heavy on him as her spouse i have to believe you are very mistaken.

I also think some people, rightly repulsed by a lot of Derick's views and actions, do underestimate what happened to him in his own experiences with JB. Make no mistake, Derick was sucked into and also had to escape from the cult himself. Fortunately for him, his background and connections to the outside world, as well as his privilege within the cult as a man, made this much easier for him than many others. But this begs the question of how an educated person from a relatively normal family entered a cult they had to escape from to begin with. A lot of people are sour on Derick and like to say he was college educated and should have known better. But in reality he was a young adult, isolated in Nepal far from family and friends (granted of his own choice), whose father had recently died, whose mother was deathly ill. If anyone doesn't think JB took advantage of Derick's youth and desperation at a vulnerable time in his life, and of the fact that Derick was naive enough to genuinely believe JB was a good and God fearing person who cared about him, I really can't help you.

In my book Derick has plenty of reason to be upset. It's not a competition of whether he or Jill had it worse and most definitely he has suffered and will continue to suffer from what JB did to both him and to Jill.

None of this excuses Derick's own views and actions, some of which remain incredibly problematic. But I think to be fair to him about what JB has done to him is both right and necessary in examining how the cult works and how he and Jill have managed to escape it.

You bring up something interesting — the idea that because Derick is/was a college educated, mainstream, middle-class young man - that he’d be less likely to join a cult — but in my head, rightly or wrongly - that’s exactly who I picture as candidates for joining a typical cult. Reasonably intelligent, educated, relatively privileged college students/young adults who are looking for answers to something missing in their lives. I’m guessing the internet/social media has changed that somewhat -especially for the conspiracy theory type cults, but in general - I would think Derick was an ideal target to fall in deep, but maybe shallow. 
 

I do hope Jill is on board with his family bashing. Whatever his views are on various issues - he doesn’t seem to filter much when he’s mad about something, and it should be what Jill wants that matters most. 

[Idlewild]

Derick was, in my view, deliberately vague in the past about who he held responsible for the resentment- there were hints about JB, some heat at TLC (who he thought should have paid their medical bills) which eventually went on to drip feed about claiming their pay from the show and the rules about visiting the big house. I always assumed Jill was on board. She was fulsome in her praise of Derick and participated in the YouTube vlogs about their journey.

I am cynical by nature, but I believe the vagueness was for financial reasons. While they got a pay off from JB which I assume financed the purchase of the house, Derick has been studying and his only employment seems to have been food delivery and maybe later some internships. Jill has monetised her social media and built paid partnerships from the early disasters of creased clothes and Israel’s photography to a more polished product. She also touted for gifts and engagement by publishing her post office box address. Jill has a lot of followers, many of who, love the original show and the whole Duggar family. To outright condemn JB and M would have alienated them. Many like to see Jill as the slightly bohemian dressing Christian wife and mother and if anything reinforced their view that the Duggars were great parents who allowed their daughters to choose their own paths, while remaining conservative Christians.

Of course, the bottom has crashed out of the Duggar brand with Josh being exposed for the criminal he is and JB and M being exposed as the lying hypocrites they are. I’m sure this emboldened Derick to publicly point the finger at JB as there would be little backlash. I hope Jill still supports Derick. She may not be ready to speak publicly about her parents, she may never be and she doesn’t have to- it’s her choice. I don’t mind Derick calling out JB- but the best thing Derick could do is get a properly paid job and start supporting his family so Jill doesn’t have to shoulder the burden alone.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

You bring up something interesting — the idea that because Derick is/was a college educated, mainstream, middle-class young man - that he’d be less likely to join a cult — but in my head, rightly or wrongly - that’s exactly who I picture as candidates for joining a typical cult. Reasonably intelligent, educated, relatively privileged college students/young adults who are looking for answers to something missing in their lives. I’m guessing the internet/social media has changed that somewhat -especially for the conspiracy theory type cults, but in general - I would think Derick was an ideal target to fall in deep, but maybe shallow. 
 

I do hope Jill is on board with his family bashing. Whatever his views are on various issues - he doesn’t seem to filter much when he’s mad about something, and it should be what Jill wants that matters most. 

If you look at stats, those who have already joined a cult and left, are more likely to join another. Also, those going through a very difficult time in their life, are more likely to join a cult. I don’t think education level or money have as much to do with it. Anyone can join a cult at some point in their lives. Because everyone goes through difficult times. Derick was obviously having a very hard time with his father’s death. That’s just the right time to join the Duggar shit show in my opinion. 

Edited December 27, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[clueliss]

Just because they’ve left the Colts doesn’t mean that they are suddenly liberal. They are clearly very conservative Christian and hold some rather toxic beliefs even still.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

47 minutes ago, clueliss said:

Just because they’ve left the Colts doesn’t mean that they are suddenly liberal. They are clearly very conservative Christian and hold some rather toxic beliefs even still.

This.  Derek and Cathy both vocally supported Roy Moore when he was running in Alabama 2017.   The Roy Moore who has been accused of sexually assaulting multiple underaged girls and waxed rhapsodic about the days of slavery. 

Quote from the link:  https://popculture.com/reality-tv/news/derick-dillard-tells-people-to-support-roy-moore/

Quote

 

If you live in Alabama and you haven’t voted in the US Senate race, I’d really encourage you to vote for Roy Moore.

I don’t know what’s true about the accusations made against him, but I do know that more positive accomplishments are possible with a Republican in that seat.

— Derick Dillard (@derickmdillard) December 12, 2017

 

Shitty people do good things once in a while, and good people do shitty things sometimes.  

They're still in the former category for me until they show growth away from and disavow their hateful beliefs.  

They get a lot of credit for putting the kids in school, and I do applaud that.  But not wanting to academically cripple your kids with subpar homeschooling by their uneducated mother doesn't make you a decent person, it only makes you smarter than JB and Michelle.  And frankly, that's a bar the vast majority of people can clear in street shoes.

[clueliss]

2 hours ago, clueliss said:

Just because they’ve left the Colts doesn’t mean that they are suddenly liberal. They are clearly very conservative Christian and hold some rather toxic beliefs even still.

Dannnnngit, Cults not colts.  Sorry using voice text and it goes sideways 

[kmachete14]

I like to see the anger from DD. Right now they're only a few years out and are conservative Christian, and that was fueled by just the tip of the ice berg of anger and injustice. Perhaps their anger will fuel an even greater departure down the road. If they keep that anger alive it will fuel the unraveling more and more. The more you pick at these things, the more is revealed. Perhaps they will become angry at more than just Jill's family and start learning things about their religion/culture as a whole! 

[EmCatlyn]

On 12/26/2021 at 1:46 AM, Idlewild said:

Derick needs to continue to be a thorn in their side.

Except — What is the cost to Jill?

They are her parents and she probably loves them.  Further, the parents may control access to siblings and so on that Jill does not want to be alienated from.

Derick is right to call out JB’s hypocrisy, but if he overdoes it he may hurt Jill’s chances of making peace with her family.

Further,  if he overdoes it he may lose credibility and begin to appear like a self-righteous monomaniac who has an obsession with his father-in-law.

[libgirl2]

On 12/27/2021 at 12:12 PM, clueliss said:

Dannnnngit, Cults not colts.  Sorry using voice text and it goes sideways 

I was thinking it was going to turn out to be a football analogy. 

[feministxtian]

I had to sign an NDA that never expires. And I'm cool with that because Leavenworth just isn't a place I want to go.