Maxwell 36: Wearing What Some Might Call an Outer Garment While Dealing with Cancer in the Family

[WineGlass]

The reason you should soak oats (and dried legumes and beans) is to reduce the amount of phytic acid in them, which is a toxin. Phytic acid reduces the absorption of minerals, eg iron, in the body. So the longer you soak the better (rinse too) and preferably pressure cook them. (I’m not vegan - quite the opposite! - and don’t eat any of those things - but my son is so I had to learn about it.)

[fundiefan]

On 3/4/2020 at 11:47 AM, Black Aliss said:

I wanted to comment on the blog but I knew ofSteve would just delete it, so I'm blowing off steam here. Bear with me.

I do not clean up the kitchen after meals. I plan out, put in, and tend to the vegetable garden, and harvest from it. I plan menus and shop for groceries accordingly. I cook the meals. My husband (not my headship) cleans up after dinner and has for 40 years, even on the nights when he was also able to cook. Cleaning the kitchen and loading the dishwasher is one of the few tasks he can still manage so, even if I do have to discreetly re-wash something before I can use it again, I'm not about to take over. My daughters learned this habit from me and their husbands also do after-dinner cleanup. Take that, Teri. Oh, yeah, one of the photos shows Steve rinsing dishes so it's not quite true that you and you alone are responsible for cleanup.

When I was married, the ex and I had an agreement and it was probably the only thing in our entire marriage that stuck from the start without ever discussing again.

One cooks, the other cleans up. I was the primary cook, so he cleaned up & did dishes probably 90% of the time. Those times he did cook, I did the dishes as agreed. It was very simple and really, a no brainer. 

I have always cleaned up right after dinner. It's how I was "trained" in my all female household grown up. Even now that I live alone, I clean up right away. It's just the way I am. It is not in any way shape or form evidence of my worth, salvation, religion, value to a future spouse (if I even wanted one). It is simply who I am and how I do things. No further explanation needed.

I suppose it's no surprise that the woman who has to plan to sew a button and clean the ceiling fan and have coffee with an adult daughter who lives with her needs to make some sort of issue over washing the damn dishes. Depression is a bitch and this is a pretty ugly result for not properly treating it. 

[feministxtian]

After the kids left home and Mr. Xtian was healthier, it was stated that if he wanted me to cook, he had to do the dishes. Well, one night he bitched a little too much about how I "destroyed" the kitchen. So, I went on strike. It only took a week of shitty microwaved stuff for him to get his shit straight again. Now, it's me and the kid...the kid usually does the dishes. As long as the shit gets done, eventually, I don't care. Now, if some fairy would come and do the housework, I'd be thrilled. 

[MamaJunebug]

I’ve actually gotten a positive idea from the TutTut2 blog!! But I want your thoughts on this recycling plan:

(Of course the idea is not from Teri but a fan, Dana. She writes:

” [about bagging up smoothie servings]  I even reuse the baggies by rinsing them with water and putting them back folded and empty in the freezer. Kind of quirky, but it seems less germy that way and easy to find!”

I never feel like once-used baggies are suitable for further food storage - unless the first use was for something inherently dry, like  rice or beans.  But rinsing (washing) and freezing the cleaned bags seems like a solution!

Comments? Please! 

[smittykins]

I wouldn’t either.  I’d rather use washable containers.

Besides, reusable sandwich/snack bags are a thing.

Edited March 7, 2020 by smittykins

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

I’ve actually gotten a positive idea from the TutTut2 blog!! But I want your thoughts on this recycling plan:

(Of course the idea is not from Teri but a fan, Dana. She writes:

” [about bagging up smoothie servings]  I even reuse the baggies by rinsing them with water and putting them back folded and empty in the freezer. Kind of quirky, but it seems less germy that way and easy to find!”

I never feel like once-used baggies are suitable for further food storage - unless the first use was for something inherently dry, like  rice or beans.  But rinsing (washing) and freezing the cleaned bags seems like a solution!

Comments? Please! 

What's the point of freezing them?  This doesn't sound sanitary to me.

[EmmaWoodhouse]

I would use a freezer-friendly container instead.  Sturdier and easier to clean.

Sanitation aside, plastic bags take forever to dry.  My mom went through a phase of bag-washing when I was a teenager and it felt like the bags took over the entire kitchen.

[Giraffe]

I’ll wash baggies and let them air dry. If they had raw meat I throw it away. I try to use reusables as much as possible but I haven’t managed to get (close to) 100% reusable yet. 

[Maggie Mae]

I don't clean the kitchen after meals, either, because I clean as I go. After dinner, I put my plate in the dishwasher. Sometimes I have to put my leftovers away (don't put hot food in the fridge, it will heat the fridge and put everything into the "danger zone"). Easy peasy. The SO does the same thing when he cooks (which is more often than me.) It's really not difficult or time consuming to keep a clean kitchen clean, IMO. It's when dishes pile up that it seems daunting, so we avoid that by prepping really well before cooking.  He usually goes in after me anyway to wipe up spots of water I missed or to double check that I didn't destroy pans like his ex-girlfriend did on the regular. 

My grandfather always did the dishes at my grandma's house, because they didn't have a dishwasher. He figured he could do his part. We all helped out, both men and women, because we aren't a family of sexist assholes. 

We do not wash and reuse plastic bags. Rather we use reusable containers as much as possible. Plastic bags break down, they aren't really safe for multiple uses. 

We do freeze things like our reusable plastic water bladders for our hydration packs - it helps prevent mold. So freezing the washed plastic bags makes sense in a way. 

I've never made overnight oats. Heating oatmeal in the morning seems just as "easy" to me, so I never really understood those pinterest recipes. 

 

[sparkles]

I will readily admit to being the world’s worse housekeeper and Mr. Sparkles isn’t much better. We’re not dirty, just messy and disorganized. My clean laundry would sit unfolded in the laundry basket until I neede to use it again. The bed was never made. Dishes took forever to load and unload. Groceries and things I  used for cooking never got put away so the countertops were always covered. I wouldn’t say it made me anxious but it did make things more difficult. Then last year, I decided to declutter/minimize/simply and joined a Facebook challenge group. One of the big things that was suggested was that, once the decluttering was done, to make a ritual of putting things in their place and I’ll say that it’s made a big difference. I no longer use the dishwasher (it’s just two of us) so I hand-wash and put everything away immediately, I do the same as I cook and after I shop, laundry gets folded and put away (although I still don’t turn things right side out and have shown up at work with my shirt on the wrong way more times than I’d like to admit), I made the bed as soon as I get up. It’s a nice psychological boost to know that everything’s in its place, that things are neat and that the clutter hasn’t crept back in as a result. Keeping up with it isn’t hard at all and it’s become such a habit (new habits in your 60s, woooo!) that even when I’ve gotten home at 2am, I still make sure my travel mug is washed and put away. And yet, somehow, I’ve never felt the need to blog about it and hint that everyone who isn’t like me is doing it wrong.

I’m forever trying new recipes for overnight oats because it’s such an easy breakfast to take to work. The taste is usually okay but the texture is so off putting. Gummy, gluey and sorta chalky. I can’t imagine how much worse they’d be if I let them sit for 3-4 days.

I can’t remember who it was right now, but an FJer who went to one of the Maxhell conferences reported that Sarah was a bit of a drill sergeant and pretty no-nonsense about getting things done—not quite the delicate flower that some people thought she might be. It makes sense given that she was probably a surrogate mom for a good part of her young life.

[Foudeb]

Throw away freezer bags. They might have bits if good that have been frozen then thawed ie perfect breeding ground for bacteria. 

For environnemental / financial reasons better to use a solid container that can be washed with dishwashing liquid then thoroughly dried between uses. 

I'm pretty filthy so no judgement from me but there's a few hygiene habits I won't bulge on and extra caution around thawed food is one of them. 

/ soapbox 

[Dandruff]

I tried overnight oats, once.  Thought they were vile.  I like thick, chewy oats and prepare them right before eating them.  A few minutes in the microwave, a few minutes to thicken, then another minute in the microwave does the job.  I use extra thick oats.

I'll let dishes sit for awhile, after giving them a quick rinse, but usually get them done before I go to bed.  Don't like waking up to yesterday's dishes.

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, smittykins said:

I wouldn’t either.  I’d rather use washable containers.

Besides, reusable sandwich/snack bags are a thing.

I actually bought some of those recently! 

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, sparkles said:

can’t remember who it was right now, but an FJer who went to one of the Maxhell conferences reported that Sarah was a bit of a drill sergeant and pretty no-nonsense about getting things done—not quite the delicate flower that some people thought she might be. It makes sense given that she was probably a surrogate mom for a good part of her young life.

That would be me. She got her dawdling sisters to quit playing with Abby and Betsy behind the sales table and head backstage [sic]. When something (!!) happened to Steve’s prop Bible and the dog & pony show about Ground to a halt, Sarah appeared in a side doorway just off the “stage,” cameras  still around her neck,  looking worried and trying to communicate with the Stars of the Show (AKA her parents) about where to look for it. She disappeared and within 15 seconds, John appeared with a big grin for the audience, holding the Bible aloft and acknowledging the scattered cheers. 

Do I think (a) the prop was liberated and (b) Sarah wasn’t in on the joke? Not necessarily to   (a), but I’d bet about half the time on (b), especially if Mischievous John was involved.  

TLTR: Once the reversals arrived, I don’t think PSarah had much of a childhood. 

Edited March 7, 2020 by MamaJunebug

[louannems]

7 hours ago, EmmaWoodhouse said:

I would use a freezer-friendly container instead.  Sturdier and easier to clean.

Sanitation aside, plastic bags take forever to dry.  My mom went through a phase of bag-washing when I was a teenager and it felt like the bags took over the entire kitchen.

Several years ago, I went through a few years of Ziploc bag washing and reusing.  I kept a "bag of bags" in the door of my freezer.  By freezing the bags, there is no need for drying them first.  A quick shake, squeeze out the water, then ball it up and shove it into the bigger bag in the freezer.  When you want one, grab it from the freezer and shake out the ice crystals into the sink and you're good to go.

I never reused bags that had been used for meat items.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

I don't know how much duller the Maxwell family can get after their cleaning up after dinner post. It is something that most people do after they eat a meal even if they don't want to. I just guess that Steve and Teri want to brag about how their way cleaning up after dinner is better than everyone else.

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

I just guess that Steve and Teri want to brag about how their way cleaning up after dinner is better than everyone else.

One would think that they'd be pushing Jesus, since they now have an audience regularly checking in for updates on NR Anna, but who knows with these people.

[Ozlsn]

8 hours ago, sparkles said:

I made the bed as soon as I get up.

I do this too. It works so much better when you don't have a child who loves to crawl in and play there after you've made it!

[MamaJunebug]

9 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I do this too. It works so much better when you don't have a child who loves to crawl in and play there after you've made it!

I have that with the Junedogs who are able to jump that far!  Maybe I should reconsider that ramp I’ve been eyeing for the Junetoybreeds! 

[freejugar]

Quote

Karen J says:

March 7, 2020 at 1:45 pm

Unfortunately, I am one of the women who has a messy kitchen. No matter how hard I try, I am always behind. I did not grow up in an organized, clean home. However, my husband did. But he never had to do anything. After eating, they all scattered and his mom would do all the cleaning. I would love for my children to enjoy mealtime and linger after eating, just to talk and be together. It is sad. I have tried for years but after 16 years of marriage and 6 kids later, I can’t make it happen. Exhaustion and frustration has taken its toll and I have given up. I wish it wasn’t such a struggle for me.

Quote

Teri Maxwell says:

March 7, 2020 at 2:57 pm

Then if no one pitches in to help, does that mean you are doing all the kitchen cleanup for your family of 8?

 

Can't you have some nice words of compassion for that poor woman? sheesh

[PennySycamore]

@freejugar, it sounds like Karen J needs to go on strike.  

ETA:  Like the Lysistrata kind of strike and beyond.  No cooking, cleaning, no laundry and no sweet fellowship with her asshole hubby until the kids and he shape up and start pitching in.  

Edited March 8, 2020 by PennySycamore

[Black Aliss]

thread drift: I recently discovered a different way to cook oatmeal in the Instant Pot. Start with the IP on saute, melt a knob of butter, and stir the uncooked steel-cut oats around until they are lightly toasted. Add water (no, I don't remember how much) and cook as usual (IP usual). 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

thread drift: I recently discovered a different way to cook oatmeal in the Instant Pot. Start with the IP on saute, melt a knob of butter, and stir the uncooked steel-cut oats around until they are lightly toasted. Add water (no, I don't remember how much) and cook as usual (IP usual). 

I don't have an Instant Pot - yet - but I do have a crockpot.  Years ago I made good steel cut oats in it, but it took many hours (I gave it at least 4, with an occasional stir) to cook.  How long does it take in an Instant Pot?  My ratio of water to steel cut oats was somewhere between 4:1 and 5:1.  I remember that I rubbed oil or butter around the surface of the pot to keep the oats from sticking.

[Giraffe]

There are so many red flags in that comment and all Terri can manage is “does that mean you’re doing all the cleanup?” Seriously? How discouraging Terri’s response was. 

Edited March 8, 2020 by Giraffe
Spaces between words are good

[nvmbr02]

New post up from Anna Marie. It sounds like they may have had surgery *just in time* but wow, it seems like they cut it really close. Hopefully they will follow all recommendations for treatment going forward and watch carefully.

Does anyone know what Anna-Marie means by "natural chemo and supportive therapies" ? Essential  oils and diet changes?