Mills Family 5: YouTube Really Is Optional

[Giraffe]

 Why am I getting flashbacks of earlier trolling? ?

[Palimpsest]

54 minutes ago, PotsPansPatriarchy said:

Anyone notice Amy Jamie’s post where the user is begged has fjers to not make a CPS call?

Actually, yes.  I just went back and looked.  And I'm not ready to throw that member under the bus yet.  As their long post giving details of their impression of Tom and Andrea was in line with what a lot of us have been saying, I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt.   Perhaps they will learn from us.   We've even had quite long-term members get quite defensive of the Mills family.  

It is not as though @Amy Jamie has a very long post history and they seem to be more concerned with giving background info and accurate reporting than anything else.  "Terrible twos" and "terrible toothache" are very different things.  I think the "don't call cps yet" was probably more of a throwaway line than "begging." 

And I appreciate accuracy.  So thanks, @Amy Jamie for clarifying your position.  I hope you understand why some of us thought you were defending Tom Mills.  However, I sincerely doubt you are Tom, Tom's girl, or a minion at the moment.

I actually would not be surprised if the Millses are on the CPS radar already.  They seem well known at the local clinics and hospitals (not in a good way) because of Andrea's insistence on home and unassisted births.  There were also mandated reporters in contact with the family when she died.  

Under Andrea's regime I really don't think what we may perceive as educational neglect, overcrowding, and a restricted diet would have made the threshold for serious abuse or neglect.  Of course, under Tom that could change unless he cleans up his act.  But homeschooling, even with a crap curriculum, is not against the law.  The children are housed, warm, and fed, although we don't like the way Tom is feeding them.  And I don't think he is beating them into submission. 

There is no doubt that Tom is a crap parent who would benefit from a severe talking to, offered and accepting needed and available services for the children, and a metaphorical boxing of the ears when it comes to nutrition.   But none of that constitutes serious abuse.  However, allowing a convicted sex offender unsupervised around children (if he does that) does rather boggle my mind.  

[Smitty]

Have not seen it mentioned that Saturdays must be weekly bath night for the younger ones at least.  Think it was last Bible study night(a Wednesday) when Claudia asked if it was bath night.  Tom said no, it’s Saturday.

Edited March 5, 2020 by Smitty
Adding sentence

[SilverBeach]

On 3/4/2020 at 1:27 PM, Palimpsest said:

The children are housed, warm, and fed,

Not when he has them out in the cold without coats and shoes. That is neglect.

[Mom2Bubby]

I know Tom said there would be no Wednesday night bible study as they had plans, but I haven’t seen anything else posted lately either on YouTube or Facebook. All’s quiet on the western front. Must be busy with the “new girl”  ?

[Itsjustme]

16 minutes ago, Mom2Bubby said:

I know Tom said there would be no Wednesday night bible study as they had plans, but I haven’t seen anything else posted lately either on YouTube or Facebook. All’s quiet on the western front. Must be busy with the “new girl”  ?

If he is busy with a new girl that's really awful becasue he's always saying he has no time to take care of things in the house. I can't see why he couldn't wait, just a year or two, before even thinking about getting involved with someone. His concentration should be on helping his kids and even himself adapt to a new life without  Andrea.  Throwing a new person into the mix is not helpful. What kind of woman would insert herself into this situation so soon after these kids have suffered a traumatic event? You have to have something wrong with you, if you are that desperate for a man, that you wouldn't care about how it might effect the children.

Remember this kids song? I kind of changed it to fit the situation.

Selfish and selfish sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. 

First comes love. 
Then comes marriage.
Then comes**more babies in the baby carriage! 

 

[Palimpsest]

51 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Not when he has them out in the cold without coats and shoes. That is neglect.

Oh, I agree.  It is neglect.  But does it reach the levels of "serious neglect" as defined by Child Abuse Statute, Regs, and budget in the US of f'ing A.

Now get thee to your state reps and to your federal reps, and persuade them to increase the CPS budgets so that they can cover that "minor" neglect, redefine the parameters of what constitutes "serious" neglect, and let them intervene with Tom and get him to put shoes and coats on his kiddiwinks.  He's apparently oblivious.

And Tom's kiddies do have winter coats.  We saw him unwrapping the donations.

There are a whole lot of things wrong with CPS.  I'm the first to say so,

But they do spend an awful lot of time intervening with far, far, worse cases of abuse.  And they dig child corpses out of middens that would blow your mind.  Because in the present situation -- this is what the law and the endlessly cut budgets restrict them to.   It is a triage situation.

[SilverBeach]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Oh, I agree.  It is neglect.  But does it reach the levels of "serious neglect" as defined by Child Abuse Statute, Regs, and budget in the US of f'ing A.

I have no idea, I imagine it varies by state. But just because neglect may not reach a statutory definition doesn't mean it's not neglect and it is appalling that his humpers don't point this out to him. It's easily remedied neglect that should not need CPS intervention to resolve. I wouldn't report it, but if I was in his life I would certainly tell him to dress those kids appropriately. 

 

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And Tom's kiddies do have winter coats. 

Then why in the everloving fluck doesn't he makes sure they wear them? Just can't be arsed. Lazy bum.

 

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Now get thee to your state reps and to your federal reps, and persuade them to increase the CPS budgets

Won't happen. Children just aren't a priority.

Edited March 6, 2020 by SilverBeach

[Olivia Marie]

I checked to see if the  Unfit Misfit posted his weekly Candy-N-Crap run.    He did.   I only watched long enough to see if Hannah was barefooted in that filthy germ ridden store, again.  She was.  Her pants weren’t even long enough to cover her legs.  36 degrees in Moorcroft, WY.   Bastard!!!!

In tonight’s video Hannah can be seen around the 5:00 mark.  She is standing barefooted in front of the candy, Asher is behind her.    

Edited March 6, 2020 by Olivia Marie

[SilverBeach]

1 minute ago, Olivia Marie said:

I checked to see if the  Unfit Misfit posted his weekly Candy-N-Crap run.    He did.   I only watched long enough to see if Hannah was barefooted in that filthy germ ridden store, again.  She was.  Her pants weren’t even long enough to cover her legs.  36 degrees in Moorcroft, WY.   Bastard!!!!

OMG this is so horrible. I guess when it gets to zero, this would be reportable, it's getting there for sure. Poor child. The man has no common sense or empathy. What is he thinking? Probably about when he'll get laid again. 

[thoughtful]

Barefoot in the store. In Wyoming. In winter. Again. That needs to be recorded for posterity:

Spoiler

I know kids her age go through a stage where they don't want to keep shoes and socks (and sometimes clothes!) on. That doesn't mean that parents should stop trying.

Tom, here are some ideas:

1. Take care of her yourself, instead of letting your son be her father.

2. Prepare her for the idea that shoes and socks are worn outdoors and in buildings other than home. Make it fun, make it part of being a big girl, have the older kids show her how much they like their boots and shoes.

3. if she keeps taking off shoes and socks, put them back on.

4. If she's barefoot again when you get to the store, put the socks and shoes on her again, in the car.

5. If she insists on taking them off again, she rides in the cart - make it a rule that bare feet don't touch the floor.

6. If she screams about that because she's a normal little kid, take her outside and sit with her in the car.

7. If she's willing to keep her socks and shoes on, try again.

8. Alternative to 3-7; everybody doesn't have to go everywhere together. Hannah can stay home with you while Thomas drives for the candy run, or vice versa.

9. There doesn't even have to be a candy run - you could begin setting an example and instituting some rules about saving money rather than spending all of it right away, and eating healthfully to feel better.

All of the older kids are without coats and in short-sleeved or sleeveless tops (Eden's is a dress). It looks like they didn't even bring jackets in the car. It's cold enough that the cashier is wearing two shirts and a jacket in the store.

Now, I never wear a coat for short hops from the car to a building, because I hate driving while wearing one. But I am a perpetually-hot adult, who gets to make that decision for herself (I do keep an old coat in the car all winter, just in case, and my 90-something mother still makes sure her 60-something daughter has put that coat in the car every fall!). They are kids, and I have no idea if Tom even suggested that they each bring a coat.

Not that the van could ever, oh, let's say . . . break down or something like that. 

It would be nice if Thomas' boss found a way to tell him that his father can't keep bringing a barefoot child into the store. There have got to be laws, insurance issues, etc.

Oh, and, Tom, take it from a former supermarket cashier - don't lay money down on the belt.  Put it in the cashier's hand. And you could thank her.

Oh, and re-usable shopping bags would be nice - think of all the plastic you could keep out of landfills!

I really shouldn't watch these videos.

Edited March 6, 2020 by thoughtful
thought I saw a riffle, but it was an optical illusion!

[thoughtful]

Well, apparently there are no laws against being barefoot in a supermarket in Wyoming. You can even print out cards to tell people to lay off:

http://www.barefooters.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Barefoot-rights-in-Wyoming-card.pdf

Of course, "my father is a schmuck" is not really a religion or disability, so I don't know if the cards would do poor Hannah any good.

[Smitty]

I think Tom instructed the kids to go without coats, Eden sleeveless, and Hannah without shoes or socks to thumb his nose at everyone.

[Olivia Marie]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Barefoot in the store. In Wyoming. In winter. Again. That needs to be recorded for posterity:

  Hide contents

I know kids her age go through a stage where they don't want to keep shoes and socks (and sometimes clothes!) on. That doesn't mean that parents should stop trying.

Tom, here are some ideas:

1. Take care of her yourself, instead of letting your son be her father.

2. Prepare her for the idea that shoes and socks are worn outdoors and in buildings other than home. Make it fun, make it part of being a big girl, have the older kids show her how much they like their boots and shoes.

3. if she keeps taking off shoes and socks, put them back on.

4. If she's barefoot again when you get to the store, put the socks and shoes on her again, in the car.

5. If she insists on taking them off again, she rides in the cart - make it a rule that bare feet don't touch the floor.

6. If she screams about that because she's a normal little kid, take her outside and sit with her in the car.

7. If she's willing to keep her socks and shoes on, try again.

8. Alternative to 3-7; everybody doesn't have to go everywhere together. Hannah can stay home with you while Thomas drives for the candy run, or vice versa.

9. There doesn't even have to be a candy run - you could begin setting an example and instituting some rules about saving money rather than spending all of it right away, and eating healthfully to feel better.

All of the older kids are without coats and in short-sleeved or sleeveless tops (Eden's is a dress). It looks like they didn't even bring jackets in the car. It's cold enough that the cashier is wearing two shirts and a jacket in the store.

Now, I never wear a coat for short hops from the car to a building, because I hate driving while wearing one. But I am a perpetually-hot adult, who gets to make that decision for herself (I do keep an old coat in the car all winter, just in case, and my 90-something mother still makes sure her 60-something daughter has put that coat in the car every fall!). They are kids, and I have no idea if Tom even suggested that they each bring a coat.

Not that the van could ever, oh, let's say . . . break down or something like that. 

It would be nice if Thomas' boss found a way to tell him that his father can't keep bringing a barefoot child into the store. There have got to be laws, insurance issues, etc.

Oh, and, Tom, take it from a former supermarket cashier - don't lay money down on the belt.  Put it in the cashier's hand. And you could thank her.

Oh, and re-usable shopping bags would be nice - think of all the plastic you could keep out of landfills!

I really shouldn't watch these videos.

I agree completely.     Thank you for posting the picture of Hannah.   I did a screenshot as well, but I haven’t figured out how to post pictures yet.    I agree, I should not watch his garbage.    Everything he does, and doesn’t do, infuriates me.   I watched long enough tonight to see if Hannah was dressed properly for winter.  She never is.  Most of them aren’t, but Hannah cannot care for herself.  

He’s “training her up” the way he and Andrea did the other children as well.   Not even two year old Hannah running around barefooted on a germ and bacteria infested grocery store floor,  36 degrees at the time of the video - and standing in front of the thing she craves, candy.   

 

[can'tstopwatching]

When I was a kid, the boys in my school used to compete with each other to see who could wear shorts all winter. We were around 10, and they were just being dumb boys, but even at 10 a child can realize for themselves when they are too cold and need more clothes and are able to then get more clothes on for themselves. I’d say Tom’s youngest 3 are too young to even realize when they are too cold and need something. If Justus wants to wear short sleeves for the 30 seconds in the parking lot because he thinks it’s funny, I say fine, he knows he could put his coat on (Tom should not encourage this behavior though). Hannah probably wouldn’t even realize if she was dangerously freezing, she can’t make that decision.

Plus shoes is a whole other thing, for germs and hurting herself. She needs shoes if she’s going to walk in public.

[adidas]

2 hours ago, can'tstopwatching said:

When I was a kid, the boys in my school used to compete with each other to see who could wear shorts all winter.

Whenever we go to New Zealand in winter we notice this. Any Kiwis here are welcome to tell me why!

I feel like a wimp, dressed up in my snow gear (and to be fair, it is usually snowing) and these kids are in summer clothes! 

But to be completely fair, we see tourists here sweating it out during summer and we are wearing jeans or a jacket because it’s not *that* hot ?

[FunFunFundie]

I am a big fan of natural consequences for kids - if they don’t want to wear a coat, that’s on them, it’s their body and they can decide if the cold is worth the convenience (side note: I almost always think the cold is worth the convenience, I hardly ever wear a coat). I always shove one into their backpack because everybody is allowed to change their mind.

Two-year-olds don’t have that capacity, they can’t understand consequences in that way. I literally put shoes onto my three year old yesterday as she was kicking and screaming because we were going somewhere and she needed shoes. And she took them off in the car, and I put them back on before we got out of the car. Toddlers don’t get to make that particular choice.

[Mom2Bubby]

I see the Mills Family channel subscriber numbers have gone down again. I am surprised he hasn’t posted a video with Andrea in it to get that number up again. 
 I can’t believe he doesn’t make sure the littles at least are properly clothed for the winter weather. And I wish he would start tending to Hannah himself instead of making Asher be her caregiver. There’s helping out and then there’s raising his little sister. He’s more of a father than Tom has ever been to her. Smh 

[justlooking]

18 minutes ago, Mom2Bubby said:

I see the Mills Family channel subscriber numbers have gone down again. I am surprised he hasn’t posted a video with Andrea in it to get that number up again. 
 I can’t believe he doesn’t make sure the littles at least are properly clothed for the winter weather. And I wish he would start tending to Hannah himself instead of making Asher be her caregiver. There’s helping out and then there’s raising his little sister. He’s more of a father than Tom has ever been to her. Smh 

Did y'all notice that when they were walking back to the car and she was in Tom's arms, Hanna got SO EXCITED and was talking loud and she was so cute!  I've never seen her that excited....... and then I figured out that ASHER was in the car and she was THAT EXCITED to get back in the car with him.  Wow, it just says so much about what a shitty Father Tom is. Asher is her caregiver.  I just see RED when he continues to take her out with bare feet in the WINTER.  I swear he's doing that to aggravate us.  I wish someone would call the store next Thursday evening and tell that Manager to tell him to get SHOES and SOCKS on that baby and KEEP them on her!  ugh!

[Jasmar]

13 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Well, apparently there are no laws against being barefoot in a supermarket in Wyoming. You can even print out cards to tell people to lay off

I had no idea, before this thread, that there were so many reasons to be glad not to live in Wyoming.

[Itsjustme]

The fact that he just gives in and says "well, she keeps taking them off" Ok, fine, BUT when she does it you might want to just say gently say "No, no, we keep our shoes on". This way even if she does take them off you put them back on her like Thoughtful said,  and you reinforce that we keep them on. Eventually she will get that we shouldn't take them off. You have to TEACH her, you don't just say she keeps taking them off and make no effort to change it. 

[FiddleDD]

My ad on this page right now is for Chippendales. Is it all this sexy bare feet talk?

[feministxtian]

2 hours ago, Itsjustme said:

The fact that he just gives in and says "well, she keeps taking them off" Ok, fine, BUT when she does it you might want to just say gently say "No, no, we keep our shoes on". This way even if she does take them off you put them back on her like Thoughtful said,  and you reinforce that we keep them on. Eventually she will get that we shouldn't take them off. You have to TEACH her, you don't just say she keeps taking them off and make no effort to change it. 

My youngest would just about strip in his car seat in a SW Indiana winter. He STILL hates clothes. But then I could do things to make sure he was dressed before I got him out of the car. It went to ridiculous for awhile...like duck taping his shoes on his feet, putting tape over his jacket zipper...stuff like that. I had to get REAL inventive. However, you are not allowed to be damn near naked in -8F temperatures. Now, he's grown, what he does is his business. But at 18 months...dammit buddy, you WILL wear clothes even if you shriek like a banshee that's being tortured to death. My car stereo system is louder than your screams of indignation. 

[thoughtful]

7 hours ago, Itsjustme said:

You have to TEACH her, you don't just say she keeps taking them off and make no effort to change it. 

Well, that would be the activity we call "being a parent." I don't think Tom does much of that.

Tom, if you or any of your defenders read here, I've got some more ideas for you.

1. Make sure her shoes fit properly, and continue to fit as she grows. She should absolutely not be in hand-me-downs. Many kids remove shoes because the  shoes are very uncomfortable.

2. Some kids are sensitive to certain fabrics, and seams in socks. Again, make sure she is not actually physically uncomfortable.

3. Try these: https://squidsocks.ink/

4. Try these: https://zutano.com/?ref=popsugar.com, or shoes that buckle, lace-up high tops, or others that are made to stay on.

 

[feministxtian]

19 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

shoes that buckle, lace-up high tops, or others that are made to stay on.

If a kid wants their shoes off, they WILL come off. I would triple and quadruple the knots on #3 kid's laces...he'd pick at them until they came undone. High Tops? Same thing. My recommendation, CPS be damned, is to tape those suckers on. Just enough tape that they can't loosen the laces or buckles. A strip of duck tape stuck perpendicularly to the laces and covering the shoe down to the sole worked well. Another alternative is to tape over where they are tied. 

My kids always had relatively new, well fitting shoes, but #3 just hated anything he felt was confining. I get it, it's a sensory issue but there are times when health and safety has to be more important. The minute we got home he'd strip, which was fine, it was warm  in the house and he was not in danger from hypothermia, so running around with nothing but a diaper on was just fine. Cold feet didn't bother him. BUT...outside, in the winter, dammit kid...

He still is weird about clothes, even at the age of 29, he has not outgrown his sensory issues, and he's still a royal pain in the ass about clothes and shoes. 

tl;dr...you have a responsibility as a parent to make sure your children are wearing clothing appropriate for the season. Tommy-boy, grow a pair and be a parent.