Mills Family 5: YouTube Really Is Optional

[Itsjustme]

16 hours ago, feministxtian said:

you have a responsibility as a parent to make sure your children are wearing clothing appropriate for the season. Tommy-boy

I also noticed, and I think someone on here had also mentioned it, that the clothes Hannah is wearing appears too small for her.  One pair of leggings only came down past her knees. (do they have capris for babies..lol) The reason that I think this is happening is that he just buys the actual age size she is. For example at 9 months he would buy 9 month clothes for her. He should be buying a size or two larger depending on how they run so she grows into them and lasts longer. 

My son was a little over average in weight and height and we always bought  say when he was 6 months, we would buy 9 or 12 month clothes so we didn't have to keep buying new clothes constantly. I know if a baby is on the small size you wouldn't have to do this but Hannah was born a month late so she was big for her age. He should be keeping that in mind so she can be comfortable and wouldn't be growing out of things so fast.  The sizes for babies are just guidelines depending on how big or small, you need to  adjust.  

This is also why he should not be bringing a new relationship into the mix yet, he needs to be learning all these things you need to know to care for his children, and concentrate on that. I guess he's just hoping for a new Mrs. Mills, and then he wouldn't have to worry about it. 

[moreorlessnu]

5 hours ago, Itsjustme said:

 The reason that I think this is happening is that he just buys the actual age size she is. For example at 9 months he would buy 9 month clothes for her. He should be buying a size or two larger depending on how they run so she grows into them and lasts longer. 

 

I believe you are right. Shortly after Andrea died, Tom took the kids on a Walmart clothes shopping trip. Hannah needed leggings. Tom had Asher pull the Walmart leggings over her outfit to see if they fit. I thought Tom bought the leggings too small because, as you mentioned above, he picked the size that matched Hannah's age.

[thoughtful]

Tom just did another live of opening packages. I thought he wasn't going to do that any more.

 

ETA - he said he has an appointment to go see a therapist. What about the kids, Tom?

A few minutes later, he says "It all still seems dumb, to me," and I think he was talking about going to a therapist still.

The kids are mostly cranky, poor things, and look like they don't want to be there doing this.

 

Edited March 9, 2020 by thoughtful

[FreeFundiesKids]

Wonder why??

[thoughtful]

One of the kids had to remind him that some of the kids need a bath (couldn't hear who).

Also, one of the packages was a curtain - no card. One curtain, not a pair, looked like it was about 4x6 feet, shiny silver fabric, very large holes with grommets. He couldn't figure out where it came from or what it was for, and said something about hanging it in the girls' room.

Tom, aren't you building a new bathroom? That sure looks like a stall-sized shower curtain to me. Did you order one and forget about it?

 

Edited March 9, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle

[Queen Of Hearts]

I can't snark on Tom seeing a therapist. This is the first smart thing he has done. Maybe this will be a step towards him seeing that his kids are also hurting.

[Giraffe]

Wait, what? That’s spectacular! Hopefully the therapist will help him see how much his kids need help, too! I don’t have much hope, but it could lead to good things. Hopefully. 

[thoughtful]

I didn't think his considering going to a therapist was news - didn't it come up earlier?

Anyway, my only snark about it is his not realizing the kids may need some help, as well. I hope @Giraffe and @Queen Of Hearts are right, and that whoever he sees encourages getting help for the kids.

[can'tstopwatching]

My fear and expectation is that he will think he knows more than the therapist and start telling his minions how stupid therapy is. Prove me wrong though Tom!

[Flossie]

I think it depends on why Tom wants to see a therapist.  Is he being forced, or strongly encouraged to?  Possibly by CSD, but more likely by family or even the latest possible Mrs. Mills?  Just talking about it for grifting purposes or to keep his followers engaged?  Maybe he likes the idea of someone who he thinks will be contractually obligated to listen to him exclusively while he whines and complains an hour at a time for x amount of money.

No matter what, I can't see him allowing or paying for therapy for his kids, but he can certainly use his own therapy as an excuse for more attention.  "Stop harassing me!  I'm in therapy!"  "My therapist is helping me help the kids, so stop bothering me about it."  "I've learned in therapy how to deal with the loss of my wife, and now I'm ready to move on."

What I really dread is him plunking down the kids in front of the camera while he plays therapist.  "Tell me how you feel about your mothers death.  It's sad, right?  But you have a really great father who's helping you through it, right?"

[Itsjustme]

Since he said therapist and not grief counselor I'm assuming he's just having a hard time with day to day things, trying to get settled and into a routine with the kids. I  think he's getting overwhelmed and can't handle it. I'm sure the therapist will step in with ideas or even actual social services help. They can set him up with housekeeping, homemaking, meal prep, etc., He has enough money to set all this up himself but he probably wants others to do it for him, and bonus get it free or low cost.  I really would have rather seen him have the kids in grief counseling first but hopefully this might be a stepping stone to getting them the help they need emotionally. 

As for the last live package opening. He should just do the opening with him and Thomas, without the rest of the kids there. This way the kids aren't getting upset at who's opening a box, or who got a teddy bear, etc. It would be better becasue he could open them, read them, and thank the people who sent them, in a more orderly fashion. I guess someone had sent some mylar balloons that spelled out Eden, for her birthday, and it's past her birthday. (apparently he doesn't open things right away")  Someone also sent nice robes for all the kids and he's just tossing them in a pile and saying "thank you, very kind of you".  What is so difficult about holding up each thing for everyone to see, reading who it is from, and thanking them? He makes things so much harder than it has to be. Ugh

Lastly I still feel so badly for little Claudia, she seems to crave attention. She is the NEXT youngest after Hannah, and of course Hannah being the baby would get lots of attention, and then Daddy has also said Sophia is his favorite, his Daddy's girl.  At one point Hannah had grabbed something from her and she told Tom and his reply was "Hannah's just a little baby".  The one thing he needs to remember is Claudia WAS the BABY until Hannah came.  It's normal for her to feel not paid attention to and to want constant attention but  I guess he sees it as her being difficult. When he does give her attention it just seems like it's for the camera's sake.

 

[Giraffe]

I hope he’s genuine about going to therapy and not just using it for narcissistic supply to then use what he learns against the kids. Hopefully I’m wrong and he proves me cynical and jaded. 

[formergothardite]

12 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

I can't snark on Tom seeing a therapist. This is the first smart thing he has done. Maybe this will be a step towards him seeing that his kids are also hurting.

I agree. This is a really good step. Sure he will probably fuck it up and not listen to anything, but there were now be a mandatory reporter listening to him ramble about how he and Andrea neglected their kids and how he keeps up the neglect now she is gone. There is always the chance the therapist will be able to get through to him and this could be a step in working to undo all the years of how the children have been treated. 

[Smitty]

Why anyone would send hot, fluffy robes when we all know his house is small and overly warm I don’t know.  He has no room for items like those either.

Agree with whomever suggested that he and Thomas do the openings.  Eden may be a sweetheart, but the younger kids are still at an age to not understand her receiving more attention at package opening than each of them no matter the lesson.

Lining everyone up may very well may seem to make sense initially, but when the videos are edited, surely noticeable that no one including Tom seems to enjoy.  The senders need to get over the desire to watch.  Tom could also simply write out brief gift giver list and share the names periodically.  
 

 

[can'tstopwatching]

12 minutes ago, Smitty said:

Why anyone would send hot, fluffy robes when we all know his house is small and overly warm I don’t know.  He has no room for items like those either.

Agree with whomever suggested that he and Thomas do the openings.  Eden may be a sweetheart, but the younger kids are still at an age to not understand her receiving more attention at package opening than each of them no matter the lesson.

Lining everyone up may very well may seem to make sense initially, but when the videos are edited, surely noticeable that no one including Tom seems to enjoy.  The senders need to get over the desire to watch.  Tom could also simply write out brief gift giver list and share the names periodically.  
 

 

Honestly I think it's weird that all the viewers expect to be allowed to watch them open everything and see the kids use what they bought. It's gotten to the point where it's like they send things just to see it featured in the video. If Tom wants to commit to showing them open everything, then he needs to do it right and stop acting so dismissive and ungrateful. But I think he should just write thank you notes (Andrea did this I think) and leave it off camera because it's gotten weird.

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, can'tstopwatching said:

But I think he should just write thank you notes (Andrea did this I think) and leave it off camera because it's gotten weird.

Strangers sending gifts to kids they watch for entertainment on the internet is always weird and slightly disturbing, but it does seem to have gotten even weirder. I wonder if Tom is beginning to realize the obsessive Youtube fans are creepy. 

[Mom2Bubby]

22 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Tom just did another live of opening packages. I thought he wasn't going to do that any more.

 

ETA - he said he has an appointment to go see a therapist. What about the kids, Tom?

A few minutes later, he says "It all still seems dumb, to me," and I think he was talking about going to a therapist still.

The kids are mostly cranky, poor things, and look like they don't want to be there doing this.

 

Judah asked what Tom thought was dumb and Tom said seeing a therapist. 

 

14 hours ago, Flossie said:

I think it depends on why Tom wants to see a therapist.  Is he being forced, or strongly encouraged to?  Possibly by CSD, but more likely by family or even the latest possible Mrs. Mills?  Just talking about it for grifting purposes or to keep his followers engaged?  Maybe he likes the idea of someone who he thinks will be contractually obligated to listen to him exclusively while he whines and complains an hour at a time for x amount of money.

No matter what, I can't see him allowing or paying for therapy for his kids, but he can certainly use his own therapy as an excuse for more attention.  "Stop harassing me!  I'm in therapy!"  "My therapist is helping me help the kids, so stop bothering me about it."  "I've learned in therapy how to deal with the loss of my wife, and now I'm ready to move on."

What I really dread is him plunking down the kids in front of the camera while he plays therapist.  "Tell me how you feel about your mothers death.  It's sad, right?  But you have a really great father who's helping you through it, right?"

I heard him say He was going to go to a therapist and then more quietly “now you guys can stop bugging me about it” or something to that effect. 
I agree with all you regarding the therapy. I hope he’s really going to go and not just say he’s going to do it. Kind of like the housekeeper he keeps saying he wants to get but hasn’t. I hope he’s doing it for all the right reasons and that this means he will allow the kids to get help also. 
I feel so bad for all the kids, but especially Claudia. Like it was said above, she was the baby until Hannah came along and in my opinion out of all the littles, I imagine she is struggling the most. Tom has said she sits and watches videos everyday of Andrea. It has to be a real struggle for her at that age not to understand death. Yes she knows Mommy has gone to Heaven, but she doesn’t really understand what that means. To her it probably just means mommy is gone and she hasn’t come back. She must miss her terribly (even if I think Andrea wasn’t a good mother, she’s the only Mommy Claudia had.) 

I’m sure all the kids miss their mom, but I can see a few of them struggling more than others. I sure hope Tom allows them the chance to get therapy and keeps that part of their lives private (he already shares more than he needs to). I also hope that his “youtube” people lay off and allow them to keep it private. 
I too noticed someone mentioned the littles needed baths. It was probably Justus as he is usually the one who gives the littles their baths. (Which I don’t think is right. He should not have that responsibility-that should be Toms job). 
Tom has said in the past they weren’t going to do any more gift openings live so not sure why they did it again. Maybe he couldn’t think of anything else to do live ( gotta get those views). 
Again, I sure hope Tom has had a wake up call and is stepping up and being more of the parent he should have been all along. I hope he doesn’t use his therapy for sympathy to get more funds from people. I’d be surprised if that isn’t what he will do though. I’d like to be wrong about that. 

[Tekas_76]

14 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

Kind of like the housekeeper he keeps saying he wants to get but hasn’t.

Yes, he mentioned getting a housekeeper,  but he also mentioned that he called a few times a woman that volunteered to clean the house, therefore for free. Doing that, does he wants a free worker to clean his house or does he wants his minions to send more cash to pay for it? Since he wants to rely on stranger's money to cover his own expenses...

I consider myself a generous person,  in the possible way to what is really needed, within my possibilities,  but I cannot understand people giving so much to this guy (that owns his house, has his own business) that is in a better position in life than them all. It's like retired people asking sorry for not giving more, and he is ok with that, like an entitled person... I just don't get it...

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, Tekas_76 said:

Yes, he mentioned getting a housekeeper,  but he also mentioned that he called a few times a woman that volunteered to clean the house, therefore for free. Doing that, does he wants a free worker to clean his house or does he wants his minions to send more cash to pay for it? Since he wants to rely on stranger's money to cover his own expenses...

I consider myself a generous person,  in the possible way to what is really needed, within my possibilities,  but I cannot understand people giving so much to this guy (that owns his house, has his own business) that is in a better position in life than them all. It's like retired people asking sorry for not giving more, and he is ok with that, like an entitled person... I just don't get it...

It reminds me of an interview Bette Midler did talking about how when she was pregnant/had just delivered she got truckloads of baby gifts from strangers.  She said, paraphrasing, she didn't understand what people were thinking as she could certainly afford anything her child needed, yet they were sending them to her rather than donating to others who were in need.  

I'm with her - I get generosity but don't understand why some choose the recipients they do.

[Maggie Mae]

It's a sad fact of life that the more money and fame you have, the more free useless stuff people will just give you. I don't understand giving gifts to celebrities, or YouTuber personalities. I don't even really understand people who interact with these people. Like, why? Why are you leaving messages on anyone's YouTube channel or Instagram about how attractive their children are? Why are you sending influencers gifts? 

[can'tstopwatching]

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

It's a sad fact of life that the more money and fame you have, the more free useless stuff people will just give you. I don't understand giving gifts to celebrities, or YouTuber personalities. I don't even really understand people who interact with these people. Like, why? Why are you leaving messages on anyone's YouTube channel or Instagram about how attractive their children are? Why are you sending influencers gifts? 

I think it's for the knowledge that this person who you idolize fanatically will be using stuff you gave them. I think these women watching from home, who stop whatever they're doing no matter the time of day to watch a middle aged man go live on youtube for his drive to work, want to know these kids are touching and using stuff they gifted. I know if I think of my favorite celebrities who I'm admittedly a bit crazy over, I can imagine feeling that way, even though I've never done it (and don't plan to lol).

[SilverBeach]

On 3/9/2020 at 11:42 AM, Itsjustme said:

As for the last live package opening. He should just do the opening with him and Thomas

He should just not do the openings, period. He should stop receiving the packages. Such a master grifter.

[Tekas_76]

54 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

He should just not do the openings, period. He should stop receiving the packages. Such a master grifter.

But he adores to get free stuff, and if it is free candy he will go crazy about... Tom loves candy, that's very visible... Sugar is more addictive than cocaine,  and he made sure that his kids are dependent on sugar, just like he is (and Andrea was).

Why doesn't he teaches the kids to save some money, instead of spending it immediately on candy and other junk? He is not showing a good example or teaching them to be self sufficient! They will grow up thinking that the receiving day it's the day to burn all the cash buying useless stuff.

He could talk with each kid and try to figure out something that they would like to save for and then get them a piggy bank for each one of them.

By the way, Tom didn't use any of the gfm money to get a stone for the grave of his beloved wife and mother. That can show how much he cared, since he started thinking of getting a new wife it was only 2 or 3 months after her death... ohhh, how fast people can be replaced...

[formergothardite]

6 hours ago, Tekas_76 said:

but I cannot understand people giving so much to this guy (that owns his house, has his own business) that is in a better position in life than them all. It's like retired people asking sorry for not giving more, and he is ok with that, like an entitled person... I just don't get it...

People were sending crap to Andrea for years, she just didn't make it so obvious. I don't think they got this much, but I bet the kids have been raised thinking it is totally normal for strangers to send them stuff. 

Andrea and Tom were very entitled people. 

Reading this article made me think of Andrea. She really was in the ranks of some of the worst people on the internet and I can't understand why anyone defends her. 

Quote

If you ask the worst people on the internet, 20 kids and six adults weren't really murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary in 2012. The mass shooting was, according to these terrible people, a hoax, and all those grieving parents were just "crisis actors" in an elaborate yet wildly unsuccessful plot to pass gun control laws. For every hardcore conspiracist, plenty more people shared the theory because they were "just asking questions." Unfortunately, none of those questions were "What the fuck is wrong with me?

https://www.cracked.com/article_27190_5-satisfying-follow-ups-to-famous-scandals.html

Edited March 10, 2020 by formergothardite

[Olivia Marie]

IF he does see a therapist, IF he will listen to anyone, IF he sticks with it,  IF he isn’t his normal know-it-all self......I hope one of the first things a counselor tells him is to get all of his children off of YouTube immediately, and forever.    Shut the freakin’ channel down for good.    It’s all about him though, the fabulous Tom Show.  He would be reduced to nothing without his adoring fans.    

Edited March 11, 2020 by Olivia Marie