Mills Family 5: YouTube Really Is Optional

[Tekas_76]

19 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

It reminds me of an interview Bette Midler did talking about how when she was pregnant/had just delivered she got truckloads of baby gifts from strangers.  She said, paraphrasing, she didn't understand what people were thinking as she could certainly afford anything her child needed, yet they were sending them to her rather than donating to others who were in need.  

I'm with her - I get generosity but don't understand why some choose the recipients they do.

Because it has visibility, they are named when their packages are open on YouTube,  they feel important for that, the more they give the more important they feel. If it was to give to a stranger with no videos, no visibility,  they wouldn't do it,  it not worth it for them, them want to show off...

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Tekas_76 said:

Because it has visibility, they are named when their packages are open on YouTube,  they feel important for that, the more they give the more important they feel. If it was to give to a stranger with no videos, no visibility,  they wouldn't do it,  it not worth it for them, them want to show off...

I'm sure lots of them do it so they can see their name read out on Youtube, but we even had a poster here talk about how she sent Andrea gifts and how wonderful it was she sent back a thank you card. I think these people send stuff, so they can feel like they are part of the lives of the Youtube families they adore and so that they can force the adults to acknowledge them, and you are right, it makes them feel important. 

This reminds me of that creepy lady who sends Alyssa Webster matching clothing for her children and now she is pretty much directing how Alyssa dressed the kids because she sends so many outfits and Alyssa continues to put the children in them. This whole thing of watching children you don't know and then sending them gifts is just disturbing. 

[Mom2Bubby]

Tom did a live yesterday from a park he and Andrea used to go to with the kids. I’ve only watched the first 10 minutes or so. He starts out by talking about how he has time between jobs so he’s taking a break and chatting with people.
He said he went and got the taxes done. Didn’t know a lot of what he needed to know because Andra used to take care of it, but he finally got through it with the help of his bank and the tax person.

Judah was on also and was having trouble with his algebra. Tom said he was kind of the resident expert on algebra so he helped Judah the most, but gma Kitty and the two aunts, plus Thomas and Asher helped when they could. 

He said he was going through his phone and found like 9 years worth of text messages from Andrea to him. He read them and they made him sad ( he choked up while talking) and he once again brought up the fact that Andrea said she knew he would remarry and soon if she died first. (I can’t help but think that this “chat” is to garner sympathy once again to get those donations up-JMO). 
According to him he’s feeling pretty down again. 
He said he called Merry Maids about a housekeeper but they don’t have anyone in his area. He said his mom knows someone who might be able to help. 
He talked about trying to feed the kids better meals. Said he fed them spaghetti and pineapples and Hawaiian sweet rolls last night and in his mind that was a win.  He wants to feed them less mac and cheese-although he says there is nothing wrong with that-they aren’t  Super food nazis(his words) and less fast food. He said he needs to spend more time hanging out with them and making better meal choices for them. He said you have to do things that are right even if you don’t feel like doing them. This was as far as I got so far. The live was over an hour long. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

27 minutes ago, Mom2Bubby said:

He talked about trying to feed the kids better meals.  He said he needs to spend more time hanging out with them and making better meal choices for them. He said you have to do things that are right even if you don’t feel like doing them. 

As Shakespeare would say, "Mere prattle without practice".

[formergothardite]

58 minutes ago, Mom2Bubby said:

He talked about trying to feed the kids better meals. Said he fed them spaghetti and pineapples and Hawaiian sweet rolls last night and in his mind that was a win.

I doubt Tom will be open to listening to anyone giving advice on how to cook a balanced meal. He will throw in some random fruit and call it a day because it seems he has decided to go the route Andrea took in showing fruit to get people to back off about how the kids eat nothing but junk. I doubt he has any intentions of trying to feed them better meals, I think he just wants people to stop pointing out they eat junk all the time. 

It worked for Andrea, so who knows, it might actually work for him. 

[Tekas_76]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

but we even had a poster here talk about how she sent Andrea gifts and how wonderful it was she sent back a thank you card.

Yes, it was me.  I've sent her some baby bibs, but not to have my name mentioned and not to have anything back. When I received the postcard it was a surprise,  I wasn't expecting anything.  I sent her because I had a few months staying at home, without working, and I was practising sewing with my new machine. I've made a lot, believe me, a lot of bibs. When she said that she was going to do them for Hannah, I thought that maybe I could give her some, just that, I didn't need to keep all that stuff at home specially when I don't have a baby...

The reason why I was sewing so many?! I went to a fleamarket  and tried to sell them but nobody bought them, so I finished having a box full of bibs just sitting at home. But I never intended to be mentioned or to receive something back. I also gave things to a friend of mine who had a baby and also to the charity shop next to me, so everybody got something  ??

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Tekas_76 said:

When she said that she was going to do them for Hannah, I thought that maybe I could give her some, just that, I didn't need to keep all that stuff at home specially when I don't have a baby...

But why send them to this woman you don't know, who could afford to make/buy bibs and who was an all around nasty person, instead of donating the ones you sent her to a local organization who would give it to people who really needed bibs? I'm always baffled by people who send gifts to people to Youtube "stars" who obviously aren't in need.  It seems like people giving them stuff just helps support the idea that they are doing something right. The same for all these parents who exploit their kids on Youtube, they have fans who leave nice comments and send them stuff so they can keep pushing that what they are doing isn't wrong because if it was they wouldn't have supporters. 

ETA: I'm not trying to attack you, but much like the people who send Tom stuff, I just can't wrap my mind around sending Andrea things. Or any of the Youtube people. Or blog people, like people who send the Maxwells stuff. 

Edited March 11, 2020 by formergothardite

[Alisamer]

55 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I'm always baffled by people who send gifts to people to Youtube "stars" who obviously aren't in need. 

I guess it depends somewhat on the youtube "star" maybe? I haven't sent anything to anyone, but I have considered it. When a youtuber I watch announced her pregnancy, I was tempted to knit her a hat for the baby (I didn't, but others did). I've been watching her channel for years, and she and her husband seem to be genuine, kind people. 

I also most likely will send something small to Kitten Academy at some point. I already donate a very small amount of money on their Patreon. I'd most likely send a drawing or watercolor, the local small-town newspaper, and a few small knitted toys for the kittens. They don't NEED any of that, but I know they enjoy getting art, Mr. A enjoys seeing small-town newspapers, and the people who adopt the kittens appreciate the gifts people send for them to take home. They're doing good work and sharing their lives, and feel far more like distant acquaintances than strangers, to me. 

In both those cases, they are people who seem to be good and kind, and who I have watched for a long time. I've interacted minimally with both of them, leaving comments for one, and in chat for Kitten Academy. They've both provided me with enjoyment in watching the content they create, and it doesn't seem that strange to me to "reward" that in some small way with a gift if I'm able.

That sort of thing can definitely get creepy and over the top, but I don't think it's that strange for someone to show their appreciation for someone/someone's work through a gift.

I do think it's... dumb, I guess, to be sending gifts to people who are essentially begging for them, and who make little to no effort to help themselves. It seems like this guy's entire content is basically "oh, pay attention to me, I'm so sad... send me some gifts to cheer me up?"

[formergothardite]

9 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

In both those cases, they are people who seem to be good and kind, and who I have watched for a long time. I've interacted minimally with both of them, leaving comments for one, and in chat for Kitten Academy. They've both provided me with enjoyment in watching the content they create, and it doesn't seem that strange to me to "reward" that in some small way with a gift if I'm able.

That sort of thing can definitely get creepy and over the top, but I don't think it's that strange for someone to show their appreciation for someone/someone's work through a gift.

You are right, I can see where sending something to a person who runs a Youtube channel to be not creepy. I've considered not sending, but buying one of Unnatural Vegan's Ugly Soy Bitch shirts, because she does put out good content that is very informative. But to me the second it starts involving children it crosses the line into creepy. One thing I like about the Unnatural Vegan is that even though she has devoted followers for years who she interacts with, she has as clear boundary when it comes to her children. I don't think her followers even consider sending her stuff for her babies when she was pregnant because she was so clear her children are off limits for strangers on the internet. Her children are never at any point shown, their names are not mentioned and she won't even say if she had a girls or a boys. She also pushes to remove children from Youtube and for parents to stop putting  information out there to strangers about their children. 

So I can see giving some sort of an "award" to an adult who has created quality content, but sending stuff for babies and children shouldn't be something even considered. They shouldn't even be mentioned enough for strangers to get attached and want to send them stuff.  And really, when it comes to people like Andrea and Tom, that blows my mind? Tom is practically begging for stuff and Andrea was pretty proud that she treated her kids like shit. and had some real dangerous and nasty beliefs. So I can't wrap my mind around sending people like them anything. I can accept that there are times that sending Youtube creators stuff wouldn't be weird, but for the Mills parents, though? 

[Itsjustme]

5 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

He read them and they made him sad ( he choked up while talking) and he once again brought up the fact that Andrea said she knew he would remarry and soon if she died first. (I can’t help but think that this “chat” is to garner sympathy once again to get those donations up-JMO). 

At a live dinner he and Andrea were joking around about if one of them died would the other remarry and she said she absolutely would not, but then added "But I know you would for sure" and she laughed . It was sarcasm. She was waiting for him to say he would not, but he didn't. I kind of felt bad for her, Based on that conversation it did not seem like she  would tell him to get remarried and quickly. That's what HE wants. 

He tends to manipulate and coach people into thinking his way, he does it with the you tube people. He's trying to justify it so he feels better doing it. Maybe he's preparing everyone for an announcement that he is seeing someone becasue he always starts about that talk with Andrea when he's with someone. 

Take personal responsibility for something for once. No one is saying it's bad to get remarried, just that his kids need to be in a good place first and they all need to learn how to live this new life without Andrea, not thinking about a replacement. That's not going to magically make everything ok, matter of fact it may make things more complicated and upsetting to the kids.

 

 

 

[Itsjustme]

19 hours ago, Olivia Marie said:

t’s all about him though, the fabulous Tom Show.  He would be reduced to nothing without his adoring fans.

He would be reduced to supporting his own family. I've been going back and watching quite a few of the videos Andrea did.  In one of them about money management she spoke of not becoming dependent on outside sources because then you get too used to expecting that money to be there. Tom has sure drifted away from those ideas. 

No headstone for Andrea but he buys new phones for himself and the boys. I think he also said he bought a couple more lap tops so the kids could play games. Your wife dies, you are left with 9 kids, and this is what you think of to buy? Didn't he say he had an addiction to gaming? So is this a good idea?  His priorities are so messed up. He really does behave like he is one of the boys.

[Maggie Mae]

18 minutes ago, Itsjustme said:

His priorities are so messed up. He really does behave like he is one of the boys.

Both Tom and Andrea have/had bizarre priorities and addictive personalities. Addicted to games, shopping, having kids, livestreaming everything. Watching some of the shopping videos I wonder why they are buying things they should already have - like brooms and mops, writing implements, calculators, it just seemed like they bought stuff just to brag about how much they could spend/how much they could cram into a cart. Which, why wouldn't they get two carts if it wasn't some stupid attention seeking weirdness? Why film a trip to Walmart and put it on YouTube in the first place, unless you either wanted attention or money. There can not be that many people who care about what strangers buy at the Morecraft Wyoming Walmart. (If there are, should I start a YouTube channel where I go to the Anchorage Fred Meyer and leave without half of what I need because Fred Meyer doesn't seem to be able to stick groceries? I could use some extra cash) 

I hope Tom's next wife is an evil stepmom who sends the kids to school, forces them to go to therapy, and teaches Tom how to be a parent before a friend.

 

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Itsjustme said:

At a live dinner he and Andrea were joking around about if one of them died would the other remarry and she said she absolutely would not, but then added "But I know you would for sure" and she laughed . It was sarcasm. She was waiting for him to say he would not, but he didn't. I kind of felt bad for her, Based on that conversation it did not seem like she  would tell him to get remarried and quickly. That's what HE wants. 

He tends to manipulate and coach people into thinking his way, he does it with the you tube people.

Andrea and Tom had such an unhealthy relationship. I sometimes wondered if they stayed together because to get divorced would be to admit they were wrong and both were very into always being right. I would feel more bad for both of them if they hadn't treated their kids like shit. Both were so unbelievable selfish and always put themselves first, the kids have always lived on the back burner.

My impression is that they manipulated each other, there were times with Andrea was clearly manipulating Tom to get what she wanted.  And I don't buy for one second Andrea wouldn't have jumped on finding a new husband fast. She just knew better to say that out loud because it sounds bad. She couldn't support her passel of children and kept living in her fantasy world if she didn't have someone to pay all the bills. She almost certainly would have tried to force the older boys to work and support her, but I bet she would have been on the look out for a new Tom to help her hoard children and neglect them. 

[Tekas_76]

8 hours ago, formergothardite said:

why send them to this woman you don't know, who could afford to make/buy bibs and who was an all around nasty person, instead of donating the ones you sent her to a local organization who would give it to people who really needed bibs?

I guess that I was also enchanted by her sweet voice and charm calm, keeping cool in the middle of that storm of kids. She used to remember me of my religious auntie with her 5 kids. This was before I saw those videos of her being hateful and then I said to my self " this is a hateful vicious woman, I'm going to get some distance from them"... And that was it.

I never thought of her as a YouTube star...

Yes, I gave a lot of things to the charity shop. They actually are next door and every time I want to I go and donate stuff. They sell the stuff and the money is supposed to go to Africa. They actually don't give the things to people here. I live in Denmark and there is welfare here, people pay lots of taxes when they are working but then the government supports them when they lose their jobs. I don't see needy people here, everybody has the necessary things for a living. Here there is holiday payment,  staying at home for a few months ( receiving the salary) after giving birth, free education,  free health care, etc.

Edited March 11, 2020 by Tekas_76

[Grandma D]

Tom does a lot of talking on his latest live about how diet really doesn't make a difference because we aren't in control of our lives anyway God is, then says Judah stopped drinking Mt Dew and has improved his dental health because of it so he can get braces. Ironic for someone who believes he is mensa material not to see that blaring hypocrisy. And he said he's just trying to educate the people who have messaged him concerned about their poor diet. 

[Itsjustme]

15 hours ago, Grandma D said:

Judah stopped drinking Mt Dew and has improved his dental health because of it so he can get braces.

I'm sure this came from the dentist and that's a GOOD thing!  He was educated by a professional who knows what they are talking about . 

[Giraffe]

54 minutes ago, Itsjustme said:

I'm sure this came from the dentist and that's a GOOD thing!  He was educated by a professional who knows what they are talking about . 

And this is why him having cavities is (potentially) the start of a new path of him questioning everything. “If mom & dad were so wrong about this one thing, what else were they wrong about?”

[PotsPansPatriarchy]

In tonight’s episode of As The Mills Family Turns, Tom again flaunted the fact that Hannah was barefoot at the store.

 

[Grandma D]

1 hour ago, PotsPansPatriarchy said:

In tonight’s episode of As The Mills Family Turns, Tom again flaunted the fact that Hannah was barefoot at the store.

 

And he's mentions that people were trolling Hannah. Probably because she was in a dress that was too big and had bare legs and feet again. He did mention it was cold out on his way into the store! 

[thoughtful]

Tom, be careful!

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/wyoming/articles/2020-03-11/wyoming-identifies-first-resident-with-new-coronavirus

 

 

[justlooking]

10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Tom, be careful!

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/wyoming/articles/2020-03-11/wyoming-identifies-first-resident-with-new-coronavirus

 

 

OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  Did y'all see the 2nd video he posted in the park?  He was talking about the Coronovirus and he said it's just a bunch of hype and that ANDREA WOULD HAVE HAD A FIELD DAY WITH ALL OF THIS!  And the first thing I thought was......OH, JUST LIKE THE FIELD DAY SHE HAS WITH SANDY HOOK!  He was on a roll.......Cocky asswipe.  And I promise you........I PROMISE you - the next time he takes that baby in a store barefoot....(live) - I am picking up the phone and calling that manager and telling her to say something to him!  They were talking about snow flurries......UGH......So maddening......

[Tekas_76]

1 hour ago, justlooking said:

OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  Did y'all see the 2nd video he posted in the park?  He was talking about the Coronovirus and he said it's just a bunch of hype and that ANDREA WOULD HAVE HAD A FIELD DAY WITH ALL OF THIS!  And the first thing I thought was......OH, JUST LIKE THE FIELD DAY SHE HAS WITH SANDY HOOK!  He was on a roll.......Cocky asswipe.  And I promise you........I PROMISE you - the next time he takes that baby in a store barefoot....(live) - I am picking up the phone and calling that manager and telling her to say something to him!  They were talking about snow flurries......UGH......So maddening......

Please do that, I would do it if i was in US but I'm not... he doesn't even make the effort to keep that baby warm and cozy, he doesn't give 2 puns about her...

[Smitty]

On 3/9/2020 at 3:16 PM, Smitty said:

Why anyone would send hot, fluffy robes when we all know his house is small and overly warm I don’t know.  He has no room for items like those either.

Agree with whomever suggested that he and Thomas do the openings.  Eden may be a sweetheart, but the younger kids are still at an age to not understand her receiving more attention at package opening than each of them no matter the lesson.

Lining everyone up may very well may seem to make sense initially, but when the videos are edited, surely noticeable that no one including Tom seems to enjoy.  The senders need to get over the desire to watch.  Tom could also simply write out brief gift giver list and share the names periodically.  
 

 

 

[Smitty]

And now Asher is being a smart ass joining in yucking it up as he carries Hannah in the store without socks, shoes, or leggings.  Went without a jacket himself to make the point.  
I understand that males on average don’t care about mismatched or ill fitting clothing, but most fathers and older siblings would not use a young child to make their own childish point.  
And yes, Tom.  You do need to bring order and processes back into focus in your home.  It is unhealthy for adults or children to live with such little structure.

Baths, teeth brushing, scheduled meals, maintained bedtimes, etc. may not seem like it, but they will make your home run more efficiently and your children will be better for it.

[PotsPansPatriarchy]

24 minutes ago, Smitty said:

And now Asher is being a smart ass joining in yucking it up as he carries Hannah in the store without socks, shoes, or leggings.  Went without a jacket himself to make the point.  
I understand that males on average don’t care about mismatched or ill fitting clothing, but most fathers and older siblings would not use a young child to make their own childish point.  
And yes, Tom.  You do need to bring order and processes back into focus in your home.  It is unhealthy for adults or children to live with such little structure.

Baths, teeth brushing, scheduled meals, maintained bedtimes, etc. may not seem like it, but they will make your home run more efficiently and your children will be better for it.

Asher had a pissed off look on his face. I could tell Tom previously told him they would show Hannah without shoes/socks & pointed the camera right at them when Asher was unloading her. Tom probably made Asher go in short sleeves. If I were Asher, I would be at least as pissed as he looked last night. He seems like a good hearted kid in a situation where his dad makes all efforts to exploit his good nature.