Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

[EmmieJ]

13 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

It's so exhausting that we mothers are judged for everything! Yeah, 5 year old children should eat without messes, prepare their own breakfast, shower themselves, dress themselves, never use a stroller or be carried, sleep alone, etc etc. Let me tell you something, eventually all of them will do it! No need to make mothers feel ashamed, these things are not important at all and a relaxed parenting may be a blessing! 

That was a pet peeve of mine as a mom -- certain milestones that people expect your child to reach.  guess what, we're all individuals and not every child will learn to use the toilet by a certain age, let go of his or her binky by a certain age, etc, etc. 

Jill's two boys seem to be generally happy and healthy little guys.  She didn't have the greatest example in her own parents on how to raise happy, well-adjusted children, but I think she's doing her best.  Sometimes I am "WFT Jill?", such as when she posts a picture of Sam standing on a toy car to reach something on the counter.  I would rather she put the camera down and make sure the car doesn't suddenly move under him, leaving him to bang his head on the counter or the floor.  But Izzy wearing a bib while at home?  Proudly riding a bike that might or might not be a bit too small for him?  Putting her down for stuff like that is BEC to me.

[SilverBeach]

5 hours ago, nst said:

it's good to know that facebook is obsolete.  It does feel dated. 

Instagram I love. I hope it will be around for at least another 5 years.

I have no use for any of it. That said. FB is hardly obselete, even if older people are using it, that don't make it obsolete, we count too. I have no FB account, but ageism rankles me. There are still young people on FB too, based on what DD tells me. How can anyone be on a platform that claims ownership of your pictures? Doesn't anybody want privacy anymore? I think nonstop posting of children violates their privacy, as do pictures with people in the background who did not agree to being shown. Nobody knows where these pictures may end up. Now get off of my lawn.

[feministxtian]

4 minutes ago, EmmieJ said:

That was a pet peeve of mine as a mom -- certain milestones that people expect your child to reach.  guess what, we're all individuals and not every child will learn to use the toilet by a certain age, let go of his or her binky by a certain age, etc, etc. 

Kids do things in their own time. I need a bib most of the time too and I'm how old? 

Potty training: My oldest was about 2. She took her diaper off, said "mama, I peed in the big girl potty" and then had a shit fit to cover her naked butt to go buy underwear. She'd shown no interest whatsoever until that morning. Not a single accident to be found. #2...a struggle. He was a bed wetter until about 10. #3...wasn't remotely interested until about 3 1/2. Gave him a bath, let him choose between a diaper, pull up and underwear. He chose underwear. 100% trained literally overnight. I'd have gotten shit for all 3. 

Eating neatly: still waiting. They're all messes. 

Binkies/nursing/bottles: youngest was weaned at 2. Others got combinations of breast/bottle and yes, binkies could save my life. I don't remember how old they were when they gave up the bottle or binky. Some were not interested in "people food" for the longest time and one was eating hamburgers at 6 months. 

Here's the thing....what happened 25-30+ years ago doesn't matter now that they're adults. As far as I know, they're all housebroken, don't use binkies or bottles anymore (unless it's a beer bottle), and have grown to be relatively independent, functional adults. 

Tl;dr - IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER

[lumpentheologie]

1 hour ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Social media.  My Mom told me to never put anything in writing I wouldn’t want to show up in a Law Court.  This means pictures too.  This advice has kept me out of a crap load of trouble.  No naked pictures and no written promises or threats!

Hats off to those of you who can live this way. 

Potential TMI: I don't know if my husband and I would have made it through 2 years of (very) long distance without naked pictures. ?

Edited February 6, 2020 by lumpentheologie

[Exposedknees]

My daughter age 25 spilled cheese dip down her front at a restaurant the other day. She said she wished she had worn a t-shirt over her clothes " like when we were little." It reminded me that I had kept a small basket of adult small tshirts ( the free giveaway kind) in the bottom of my pantry when my girls were little. She in particular hated bibs and itchiness in general.  They both wore them for messy food, cooking, dying eggs, and art projects until they were well into elementary school. I just washed them and put them back. I don't even remember when I stopped. I don't recall

" making them" wear them - it was just our thing.?

[motelmum]

11 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

I think nonstop posting of children violates their privacy,

I agree! I do not condone pictures of my children on social media (or me for that matter!) My eldest is 25 I still do not post photos of him. If he wishes to he can. My youngest is now 14 and once again there are NO photos of him (that  I am aware of) on social media. I got into a bitter argument with my mother about this issue. He is not old enough to consent to his image being shared and as such it will not be. This IS  the hill I will die on.

Edited February 7, 2020 by motelmum
Consumption of wine has led to typos. Sorry if I didn't get them all

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

I think we need to start a new thread soon, we're on page 28 and Derrick has stopped spilling the tea...

@Destiny @HerNameIsBuffy (don't know who to tag actually, sorry if I'm doing it the wrong way!)

[lizzybee]

Next thread suggestion - Derick and Jill: Bibpacalypse? Bibmaggedon? Bibs for Everyone! 

[finnlassie]

My narc sister was VERY anti social media and no kids on her social media, up until she got crazy about doula stuff, sacred motherhood and homebirthing. Now it's all on her public instagram, and she's closing on 2000 followers - that's kinda big for a Finnish person. It's such an irk to see her post pics of her kids, especially her breastfeeding my 4 year old nephew (and she has admitted that basically nothing's even coming out anymore!). And the context she posts her kids is often related to sex, vaginas or her being such a saint on every eco matter (like having her two kids on a post where she complains about people having birth and bringing too many kids to the world).

I'm torn when it comes to my possible future kids. I won't be afraid to talk about miscarriages or failures to concieve (which will be likely... endometriosis....), but I just cannot imagine bringing my own child to everything I do online. They're not toys. They're lil balls that need to be protected from popping. I miss the days of film cameras, photo albums and the days where you'd make copies of just a few select pictures to send to family and friends. I'm so glad I grew up in that, being an early 90s kid. Maybe I'd post an odd photo or two on whatever platform I choose, and make sure it for sure isn't public.

But I must admit, it has been a struggle sometimes to just leave my phone alone when my nephews or best friend's kid does something endearing or funny. Like. I don't have to record every moment. Nowadays I purposefully leave my phone in my bag, and only take a pic or record something when the situation is calm enough for me to act in case something happens. And of course, not document every silly moment and failure of a child...

[HerNameIsBuffy]

continue here...

Thanks for the reminder @BemusedByFundamentalism