Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

[xenobia]

I sometimes watch Without a crystal ball on youtube. She's been doing a couple of quite interesting episodes about the Dillard family (and the Duggar clan). One of them is a theory that Derrick actually tweeted the horrible (and not excusable) things about Jazz back in 2017 to make TLC fire him (and Jill) from the show. The twisted but yet logical reason for this is that Derrick - since he was fired - doesn't have a NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement, for those unfamiliar with American abbreviations). This is the reason why he's spilling the tea.  

I honestly don't know what to think about this. It's possible. But is he really that smart? 

[apandaaries]

I Sincerely doubt TLC has anything less than airtight NDAs. I don’t get the feeling that Without a Crystal Ball has any inside information. 

[AprilQuilt]

19 hours ago, livinginthelight said:

@AprilQuilt, I'm glad you are excited to read about L'Abri but you might want to warn your partner that Frank Schaeffer goes pretty hard on his parents in Crazy for God, though in the end he is fairly forgiving of his dad in particular. Anyone who has L'Abri on a pedestal might be upset reading this book. In many ways it does sound utopian and I myself would have loved to go there in its heyday. And yes, a lot of good was done there. But there were cracks behind the scenes. I wouldn't, for example, recommend gifting this book to your partner's parents if they look back on those days as idyllic.

I'm very interested in your partner's reaction if he reads it.

I think you've misread my enthusiasm for Frank Schaeffer as enthusiasm for Schaefferism! My partner is no longer religious. He was brought up within the UK L'Abri community and was profoundly turned off by the usual hypocrisy and prurience, which is why he's so keen to read what Frank Schaeffer has to say, because actually we don't come across many voices critical of Schaeffer/ism, especially those who really really know their shit. Of my in-laws' children, two have abandoned Christianity in quite dramatic, painful and messy ways, and one remains - perhaps has doubled down as - an evangelical. He is a US citizen now, as are other members of the family who are strongly wedded to Schaefferism, and usually when we get together somebody at some point starts literally weeping about the fact we are going to hell. They are fundamentalists although they wouldn't call themselves that as MIL doesn't think it sounds 'nice'. She counsels vulnerable women not to have abortions in her spare time.

But yes, they were at L'Abri in the 70s and having seen their photos it actually looks like loads of fun. Like if you wanted to do the whole hippie co-op thing but also be a right-wing Christian, it was ideal.  Most of my partners' oldest friends are the children of other L'Abri couples. There's a lot good about the community and the people, but let's not kid ourselves about the religion.

[Perrierwithlemon]

I think it's about time for brainstorming new thread titles. 

I'll go first: bragging about specific blessings

Edited February 2, 2020 by Perrierwithlemon
wording based on her most recent (02/02) instagram post

[RosyDaisy]

3 hours ago, xenobia said:

theory that Derrick actually tweeted the horrible (and not excusable) things about Jazz back in 2017 to make TLC fire him (and Jill) from the show.

Which came first though, Jill and Derick being fired or Derrick's transphobic tweets about Jazz?  How long has Derick known that JB lied about everything?

[Peaches-n-Beans]

4 hours ago, xenobia said:

I sometimes watch Without a crystal ball on youtube. She's been doing a couple of quite interesting episodes about the Dillard family (and the Duggar clan). One of them is a theory that Derrick actually tweeted the horrible (and not excusable) things about Jazz back in 2017 to make TLC fire him (and Jill) from the show. The twisted but yet logical reason for this is that Derrick - since he was fired - doesn't have a NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement, for those unfamiliar with American abbreviations). This is the reason why he's spilling the tea.  

I honestly don't know what to think about this. It's possible. But is he really that smart? 

Without a Crystal Ball is pretty useless when it comes to information on any current or former Duggar. I get the sense her "source" is mostly just her saying things she thinks sounds good and get clicks, and for the most part most of her information seems to be "they gave us abc, so I'm going to jump to xyz as a conclusion." Which sucks, I really liked her channel when she did more fact based stuff about the dangers of things like "natural" parenting, essential oils, antivaxxing ect. Now though, she's mostly become a gossip channel. 

[frumper-rump]

(I mostly lurk because everybody says what I want to say but better,but wanted to add my .02 here.) Something about Without a Crystal Ball  just rubs me the wrong way. I've been watching some of her videos for the past 6 or so months. Part of what bothers me is all the drama that always seems to surround her.don't understand it, but where there is smoke there is usually fire. I  I can't put my finger on what else bothers me about her. I take anything she says or reports on with a grain of salt. I feel like she's only getting into the fundie world now for the views. Now she's talking about the Rods. 

She's a little late...but welcome to the table, I guess.

[CaricatureQualities]

Without a crystal ball has the same sources as the rest of us. She reads reddit threads about the Duggars and reports on those. She does the same for teen mom etc.

  When she first covered the Duggars it was that big round house they flipped and tried to sell for a million bucks and she spent half the video thinking it was the TTH they lived in and kept stupidly making fun of it simply because she thought it was their house. Annoying because she couldn't even glean the correct info from the internet (again same source as the rest of us) to report on them buying, flipping and trying to sell a house. So why would I continue watching for her to put together other Duggar mysteries for us when she can't even get that simple detail right? The Duggars are another bunch of low hanging fruit for her to grab clicks with (like teen mom and the like). All she does is take the same gossip articles and internet rumours and insta comments we all see and she does a 20 minute live stream talking about it. There is no "reporting" it is just chatting about gossip. And she gets the views. So good for her I suppose but lets not think she is any sort of authority or insightful journalist. She is a gossip monger for $. There are lots of members here who could do a wayyyy better, more insightful and legitimate job if they were so inclined to make a youtube channel and talk about the Duggar rumours.  But those same members probably have more integrity than to try to make money off this bullshit. Lots of Fj members could run circles around her with their insight, knowledge and opinions about The Duggars, the IBLP and fundamentalism...and they could do it for free.

I tried to listen to Without a crystal ball the other day and she was going over an old list of Duggar house rules or something and one of them was "always use soft words" and she kept going on asking what a soft word was...."like blanket? soft like a blanket?" And she kept trying to make this joke over and over. "What is a soft word is it like blanket?" And I turned her off because she can't even make fun of stupid Duggarspeak christianese properly. Too lame to even fucking snark right. 

[PennySycamore]

On 2/1/2020 at 11:07 PM, lizzybee said:

I'm in the "trenches" of age three right now with my oldest (to quote Sierra) and it's so hard. A lot of times I'm not sure what to do because it seems unacceptable to do nothing, but I'm not wanting to spank either. I'll admit that I've tried it and felt so guilty after that I just have decided that's not an option going forward.

BUT he can't hit his little brother, spit in my face, slap me, steal things from his little brother like food and toys, throw things at my face and me just do nothing. That doesn't seem acceptable either. I spend a lot of energy lately just trying to control my temper because he's a baby and he's a sweet one too in spite of the above list. All I got right now are time out's and I just do them for however minutes he is old. That's all I know to do when he does something that I feel is really not cool like throwing a handful of quarters at my face because he's mad at me. He and I are going to get through this together, I know. He does make me feel a little crazy inside though, pretty regularly.

I'm not saying it's right, (I agree it isn't) but I understand why historically many parents have resorted to corporal punishment. I'm thankful to live in a time where people have spoken out and said "hey this doesn't work and causes emotional damage, so don't." I don't want to hurt my child or make him submit or become another version of himself out of fear. I want to know all of his strong-willed authentic self even if the developing of it is challenging for me as his mom. Just, you know, send some chocolate this way from time to time because lawdy mercy he pushes me hard some days. 

You might want to pick up a copy of How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen:  A Survival Guide to Life With Children 2 to 7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King.    Joanna's mom Adele is the co-author of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk as well as Siblings Without Rivalry and other books.   

These  books have a wealth of ideas for dealing with kids' behavior without being punitive.  I still have my copies of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's books and my kids are not kids any longer.  My youngest is almost 29.  

 

[MathQueen]

You might want to pick up a copy of How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen:  A Survival Guide to Life With Children 2 to 7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King.    Joanna's mom Adele is the co-author of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk as well as Siblings Without Rivalry and other books.   
These  books have a wealth of ideas for dealing with kids' behavior without being punitive.  I still have my copies of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's books and my kids are not kids any longer.  My youngest is almost 29.  
 

@lizzybee I second this! I was gifted a copy of Siblings Without Rivalry when MathBoy 2.0 was born 32 years ago and loved it. I have used their books with the MathBoys, as well as with the kiddos in my elementary classroom over the years. The ideas are timeless.

[AussieKrissy]

I can’t find the new jinger thread so I’ll post it here. Followed jills lead and taking the big chop. 

[AreYouThereGothard?]

Holy fudge, did not recognize her

[JanasTattooParlor]

Between the lighting, her hair color, and her makeup, she looks so washed out in that pic. I’m a little shocked that she cut her hair finally. 

[uber frau]

It's an improvement on the racoon eyed OompaLoompa  look she was sporting a couple of years ago but it's still window dressing. 

[Pretzel]

Coming back to Jill: Again, she is being attacked on her Instagram for pretty minor things and the mommy shamers are on top of their game. 

Important question: Since when is it a sin to put a bib around a kid? According to Jill's instagram, Israel is too old to wear a bib. Why is a five-year-old too big for a bib, but restaurants hand out napkins for adults? Of all the things, Jill making Israel wear a bib seems the least snarkable, isn't it?

[AussieKrissy]

47 minutes ago, Pretzel said:

Coming back to Jill: Again, she is being attacked on her Instagram for pretty minor things and the mommy shamers are on top of their game. 

Important question: Since when is it a sin to put a bib around a kid? According to Jill's instagram, Israel is too old to wear a bib. Why is a five-year-old too big for a bib, but restaurants hand out napkins for adults? Of all the things, Jill making Israel wear a bib seems the least snarkable, isn't it?

I agree, Each to their own. Less stains.. But he may get embarrassed by it when he is older.. Duggar’s don’t think of that though. We have a warmer climate. My daughter always eats her spaghetti bol with no shirt on (at home) and with old clothes on in public (hopefully). 

[lil_secret]

1 hour ago, Pretzel said:

Jill making Israel wear a bib seems the least snarkable, isn't it?

Yes, agreed. Nitpicking extremely minor parenting moves like this is boooooring, to me. Seriously, who cares? It's in her own home and harming literally no one. Now, If he were still using a bottle, THAT is something to snark on and even criticize because it IS harmful. Or here's a real example, taking a photo of Sam standing on the steering wheel of a push toy to reach something on the counter. THAT is some dumb ass, infinitely snarkable shit that Jill does, lol. 

[Melissa1977]

20 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

You might want to pick up a copy of How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen:  A Survival Guide to Life With Children 2 to 7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King.    Joanna's mom Adele is the co-author of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk as well as Siblings Without Rivalry and other books.   

These  books have a wealth of ideas for dealing with kids' behavior without being punitive.  I still have my copies of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's books and my kids are not kids any longer.  My youngest is almost 29.  

 

Great books, great advice! 

9 hours ago, uber frau said:

it's still window dressing

What does window dressing mean?

I think she dresses fine. But I'm a bit dull myself haha.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

I think she dresses fine. But I'm a bit dull myself haha.

Ha - me too.  I actually have those pants, but in lighter khaki.  

[kmachete14]

window dressing means her outfits are just frilly curtains on her horrible window frame of beliefs. 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

12 hours ago, lil_secret said:

Yes, agreed. Nitpicking extremely minor parenting moves like this is boooooring, to me. Seriously, who cares? It's in her own home and harming literally no one. Now, If he were still using a bottle, THAT is something to snark on and even criticize because it IS harmful. Or here's a real example, taking a photo of Sam standing on the steering wheel of a push toy to reach something on the counter. THAT is some dumb ass, infinitely snarkable shit that Jill does, lol. 

This isn't Jill, but I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw a father with his daughter she had to be 4 or 5 walking around the store with a pacifier in her mouth. Making your 4 year old wear a bib is noting in comparison IMO. 

[SassyPants]

I think the thing that brothers me with the bib has more to do with ID’s size more than anything. He has always been a taller kid, and I swear that bib barely goes past his neck. It just looks goofy and must be so uncomfortable for a kid that size to wear. Like others have said, let him go shirtless or throw one of DD’s old T-shirts over his clothes.
 

J/D have to realize that what comforts fits a 2.5 YO will not necessarily accommodate an almost 5 year old, right? I doubt the boys wear the same size in any other clothing.

[neuroticcat]

I think the bib thing is the practical result of growing up around tons of little kids and minimizing mess. I remember newlywed Jill spoon feeding an at least preschool aged Josie at her house and thinking it was weird. 

Personally Id rather deal with mess and have a few minutes to myself while my kids occupy themselves with eating but I agree that it’s silly to snark on.

[Screamapillar]

36 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I think the thing that brothers me with the bib has more to do with ID’s size more than anything. He has always been a taller kid, and I swear that bib barely goes past his neck. It just looks goofy and must be so uncomfortable for a kid that size to wear. Like others have said, let him go shirtless or throw one of DD’s old T-shirts over his clothes.
 

J/D have to realize that what comforts fits a 2.5 YO will not necessarily accommodate an almost 5 year old, right? I doubt the boys wear the same size in any other clothing.

I agree. Israel is big for his age so he looks like a 6 year old wearing a one year old’s bib. If he attended school and a classmate saw him like that, it might lead to teasing. I think social media teasing is going to be a big thing when Israel’s generation comes to age. Whose parents publicly shared pictures of them wearing a baby’s bib vs whose parents publicly shared intimate details of their potty training, etc. 

Kids like weird things so maybe Israel wants to wear a bib? It’s still a bit more age appropriate for his little brother, who he spends every waking hour with. Until we see one of the Dillards sharing a video of them forcefully putting a bib on Israel while he screams and protests, I see the bib thing as a typical kid peculiarity.

[CarrotCake]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

J/D have to realize that what comforts fits a 2.5 YO will not necessarily accommodate an almost 5 year old, right? I doubt the boys wear the same size in any other clothing

Well, I remember that they used a toddlersize outfit for their gender reveal. So they have been weird with sizes before ?