Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

[Pretzel]

That bib really grates on people's nerves, now doesn't it?

BabyBjorn (the company IDD's bib is from apparently) even advertises the bib in a set for babies and a larger size for bigger kids. It's such an easy way to keep a kid in clothes clean and I don't see why in the world this is some people's hill to die on. Letting kids eat undressed is definitely not an option in the winter in colder areas. Obviously IDD doesn't wear a bib when they're out and about and eating at a fast food restaurant, so that's probably an at-home thing to keep the jammies clean. 

@Screamapillar I agree that kids can be very peculiar about some very weird stuff. Sometimes kids insist on very weird things that, in hindsight, don't hurt anybody and most kids grow out of that anyway ?‍♀️. If Jill was a mom on FJ posting about the bib in P&P everyone would back her up in the you do you mentality, do what's right for your family, give your kid time etc, which is the right way to look at such a minor thing. 

[lizzybee]

Another mom actually said something to me because I still put a bib on my 3 yo. She said she was astonished he tolerated it. I just shrugged because he likes his bib and asks for it. What are Izzie and Sam? 26 months apart? Those two at this age are probably best friends (mine are) and they probably want everything the same and copy each other constantly. My oldest does it more than my youngest. Fairness is a very big thing with my boys. If one gets something, what I call the fairness alarm goes off and the other has to have it too, even if it's something as weird as a bib.  All this to say that a. Jill use a bib as long as you want. and b. It may be something Israel asks for so he can be like his best friend Sam. 

Lastly, on the topic of future embarrassment and social media oversharing, I think about that a lot. How for example, Spurgeon can one day as a grown man find a video of his mother lecturing him for peeing in his pants on his first day potty training. Even worse, yesterday I saw a little girl on IG sitting ON a toilet, dressed as Elsa, holding a diaper and a letter board, saying "I'm learning to let these go!" I really think mom's don't think this through. Yes, it's cute now, less cute later when she's applying for her dream job and the hiring manager comes across all the TMI her mother has shared about her life for 20 years.  

Edited February 5, 2020 by lizzybee

[lil_secret]

12 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This isn't Jill, but I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw a father with his daughter she had to be 4 or 5 walking around the store with a pacifier in her mouth. Making your 4 year old wear a bib is noting in comparison IMO. 

Oh my god her poor TEETH! I worked in a daycare once and an overindulgent parent insisted her 4 year old simply cannot nap without a pacifier.  I was like... Lady..... Come on.....  Yes she can. That child's teeth were fucked. But they definitely had the money for braces, her husband plays for the NHL

[kmachete14]

Maybe because I'm a younger millennial I don't think these things will be used for teasing or what not. Right now people are begging their parents to scan old photos to post of themselves in all kinds of cute/undressed/funny moments to show off their "flash back Fridays" and "TBTs." I wish there was a digital record of my childhood instead of random birthday and Christmas photos or blurry Kodak pics that didn't develop right. 

We also don't know if Instagram will even be relevant in 10 years. Facebook is obsolete for my generation and we had 1000s of photos from middle/high school on there. No one goes back looking at them. 

Kids are way more likely to be teased for what they CURRENTLY post on social media, not something on their parents posted on social media 10 years ago (which could be made private anyways). 

[AussieKrissy]

Ok I didn’t listen with sound on. But did jills kids get cash and stickers in their P.O. Box? Omg if so I would be mortified to receive leg humper cash and gifts. Also what if someone put poison on them? I’m way to paranoid for shit like that. Anyway rant over if it wasn’t leg humper stuff. 

[Silas]

When it comes to parenting nitpicking...my eyes just kinda glaze over.

My son has a few issues - anxiety, OCD, blah blah, it's not something I really explain anymore because frankly, it's no one's business why I "let" him do some of things he does. And some of those things? Would make people's heads spin. No, I don't let him juggle rusty razor blades or roll in the shards of glass but you get the idea.

He once went through a phase where he chewed on every shirt. Yes, we tried all the chewies Fun and Function could throw at us. We tried them all. Nothing felt as good as a shirt. And if we took the shirt off he attempted to put dangerous things in his mouth so guess what? My child went around looking like an orphan with his wet, chewed up shirt...in public! *gasp* I wasn't gonna replace them until the stage was over because then he'd literally just be chewing my money. The phase passed, we all lived.

We let him use his tablet out in public at family restaurants.  The volume is down but do we sometimes get comments about how someone else's PrEcIoUs ChILD WoUlD NeVeR. Yep and you know what I say? Good for them. It's the only way he can be distracted from the sensory overload around him and dang it, we deserve to eat out sometimes too.

He's a restrictive eater. Not picky. Restrictive. His diet is utter trash, we celebrate when he tries a new...candy. That's how bad it is.  I assure you his doctor knows, we've had feeding therapy, the works.

So imagine my child on his tablet only eating bacon and fries in his chewed up shirt in public! Anywho...the point. Maybe Israel likes his dang bib, maybe he hates being dirty, maybe it's just easier, maybe he wants to match his brother, maybe he just likes the color, maybe Jesus came down and promised Jill a spot in heaven if she put her son in a bib. Don't know, don't care. 

 

[crancraz]

9 minutes ago, Silas said:

When it comes to parenting nitpicking...my eyes just kinda glaze over.

My son has a few issues - anxiety, OCD, blah blah, it's not something I really explain anymore because frankly, it's no one's business why I "let" him do some of things he does. And some of those things? Would make people's heads spin. No, I don't let him juggle rusty razor blades or roll in the shards of glass but you get the idea.

He once went through a phase where he chewed on every shirt. Yes, we tried all the chewies Fun and Function could throw at us. We tried them all. Nothing felt as good as a shirt. And if we took the shirt off he attempted to put dangerous things in his mouth so guess what? My child went around looking like an orphan with his wet, chewed up shirt...in public! *gasp* I wasn't gonna replace them until the stage was over because then he'd literally just be chewing my money. The phase passed, we all lived.

We let him use his tablet out in public at family restaurants.  The volume is down but do we sometimes get comments about how someone else's PrEcIoUs ChILD WoUlD NeVeR. Yep and you know what I say? Good for them. It's the only way he can be distracted from the sensory overload around him and dang it, we deserve to eat out sometimes too.

He's a restrictive eater. Not picky. Restrictive. His diet is utter trash, we celebrate when he tries a new...candy. That's how bad it is.  I assure you his doctor knows, we've had feeding therapy, the works.

So imagine my child on his tablet only eating bacon and fries in his chewed up shirt in public! Anywho...the point. Maybe Israel likes his dang bib, maybe he hates being dirty, maybe it's just easier, maybe he wants to match his brother, maybe he just likes the color, maybe Jesus came down and promised Jill a spot in heaven if she put her son in a bib. Don't know, don't care. 

 

Omg. Yes. Thank you. When my oldest was 9, she got diagnosed with OCD which explained a lot of her peculiarities. Her younger sister, my middle, has mild CP which comes with accompanying mild sensory issues. Yes. She’s six and she still uses a binky at night because sucking helps her relax. Yes, her teeth aren’t going to be as straight as they should be because of it. But it’s a minor thing when one considers the entire lifespan of a human. Maybe she’ll still want a Binky at 70. Maybe not. All I know is that life is hard enough without having to have a fight over a piece of plastic and make a kid feel like shit. So many of these parenting choices are so innocuous. Let’s save the snark for truly unsafe things and harmful religious beliefs. 

[Silas]

7 minutes ago, crancraz said:

Omg. Yes. Thank you. When my oldest was 9, she got diagnosed with OCD which explained a lot of her peculiarities. Her younger sister, my middle, has mild CP which comes with accompanying mild sensory issues. Yes. She’s six and she still uses a binky at night because sucking helps her relax. Yes, her teeth aren’t going to be as straight as they should be because of it. But it’s a minor thing when one considers the entire lifespan of a human. Maybe she’ll still want a Binky at 70. Maybe not. All I know is that life is hard enough without having to have a fight over a piece of plastic and make a kid feel like shit. So many of these parenting choices are so innocuous. Let’s save the snark for truly unsafe things and harmful religious beliefs. 

Exactly! I know a few mom's whose kids will only chew on their pacifiers instead of other more "acceptable" chewies. Of course in a perfect world we, as parents, wouldn't have to decide what is more important - your child's teeth vs their sanity, but the world is not perfect and I don't know anyone parenting under perfect circumstances. We do our best when juggling the pros and cons. I'd love for my son to have a cleaning at the dentist every six months but guess what? He has to sedated for dental work and insurance only approves it every two years. Yeah it sucks, no his teeth aren't gonna be as great as someone else's kid but it's the best we can do!

You're doing a great job! ❤️

[AliceInFundyland]

14 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Maybe because I'm a younger millennial I don't think these things will be used for teasing or what not. Right now people are begging their parents to scan old photos to post of themselves in all kinds of cute/undressed/funny moments to show off their "flash back Fridays" and "TBTs." I wish there was a digital record of my childhood instead of random birthday and Christmas photos or blurry Kodak pics that didn't develop right. 

We also don't know if Instagram will even be relevant in 10 years. Facebook is obsolete for my generation and we had 1000s of photos from middle/high school on there. No one goes back looking at them. 

Kids are way more likely to be teased for what they CURRENTLY post on social media, not something on their parents posted on social media 10 years ago (which could be made private anyways). 

It's all perspective. Having graduated high school in 1997 I thank Rufus daily that there was no social media to make the experience more miserable.

A digital record of my childhood makes me feel ill. If my high school yearbook photos get digitized at some point it would make me really annoyed, as I no longer have mine.

I know I'm on an extreme pole of the spectrum.

... Still, everyone should use prudence. I think your second point is most apt. We don't know what's going to be "the norm" in ten years, digitally speaking. People should take that in mind with ALL their internet activity. Facebook or FJ.

[Giraffe]

35 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

I thank Rufus daily that there was no social media to make the experience more miserable.

Every. Single. Day! 
 

I was suicidal as it was. I fear what would have happened if SM had been around back then. 

Edited February 6, 2020 by Giraffe
Still talking

[Melissa1977]

It's so exhausting that we mothers are judged for everything! Yeah, 5 year old children should eat without messes, prepare their own breakfast, shower themselves, dress themselves, never use a stroller or be carried, sleep alone, etc etc. Let me tell you something, eventually all of them will do it! No need to make mothers feel ashamed, these things are not important at all and a relaxed parenting may be a blessing! 

[IsmeWeatherwax]

My 4 have all had dodo's( dummy/pacifier) til they were 4/5 years old. My girls baby teeth looked awful! So wonky and crooked with a big round gap when they closed their mouths! And yet, they have the most beautiful adult teeth, never needed braces or anything. My boys baby teeth, straight as you like, and they will need braces but for overcrowding on the lower jaw, same as I did.

 

[Glasgowghirl]

Working in food places for years I've seen children around Israel's age wearing bibs but they are usually those larger ones that have sleeves and are more age appropriate. Those bibs she uses are the ones designed for children just being weaned or learning self feeding, both Izzy and Sam are past that age. 

[Pretzel]

3 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Working in food places for years I've seen children around Israel's age wearing bibs but they are usually those larger ones that have sleeves and are more age appropriate. Those bibs she uses are the ones designed for children just being weaned or learning self feeding, both Izzy and Sam are past that age. 

That is not true. As I said, the company sells a set with one of those bibs for weaned babies and toddlers, one for older kids. They even advertise the bibs in question for kids Sammy's (and maybe even up to Israel's) age. Israel could be seen drinking out of one of the BB drinking cups for kids too. 

[bal maiden]

If I could convince my kids (5 and 2) to wear bibs, I bloody would! It would save a lot of laundry and clean up on my part! 

[lumpentheologie]

I'm way more concerned about Jill teaching her kids to expect gifts from strangers than about whether Israel is wearing a bib. 

[just_ordinary]

On 2/5/2020 at 2:39 PM, lizzybee said:

Another mom actually said something to me because I still put a bib on my 3 yo. She said she was astonished he tolerated it. I just shrugged because he likes his bib and asks for it. What are Izzie and Sam? 26 months apart? Those two at this age are probably best friends (mine are) and they probably want everything the same and copy each other constantly. My oldest does it more than my youngest. Fairness is a very big thing with my boys. If one gets something, what I call the fairness alarm goes off and the other has to have it too, even if it's something as weird as a bib.  All this to say that a. Jill use a bib as long as you want. and b. It may be something Israel asks for so he can be like his best friend Sam. 

Lastly, on the topic of future embarrassment and social media oversharing, I think about that a lot. How for example, Spurgeon can one day as a grown man find a video of his mother lecturing him for peeing in his pants on his first day potty training. Even worse, yesterday I saw a little girl on IG sitting ON a toilet, dressed as Elsa, holding a diaper and a letter board, saying "I'm learning to let these go!" I really think mom's don't think this through. Yes, it's cute now, less cute later when she's applying for her dream job and the hiring manager comes across all the TMI her mother has shared about her life for 20 years.  

I don’t think any hiring manager would be taken aback from a sweet but slightly embarrassing childhood photo.

My child has absolutely no presence on Instagram (only platform I use) but that’s especially because you sign away rights on photos. And because obviously people can screen cap your photo. 

22 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Maybe because I'm a younger millennial I don't think these things will be used for teasing or what not. Right now people are begging their parents to scan old photos to post of themselves in all kinds of cute/undressed/funny moments to show off their "flash back Fridays" and "TBTs." I wish there was a digital record of my childhood instead of random birthday and Christmas photos or blurry Kodak pics that didn't develop right. 

We also don't know if Instagram will even be relevant in 10 years. Facebook is obsolete for my generation and we had 1000s of photos from middle/high school on there. No one goes back looking at them. 

Kids are way more likely to be teased for what they CURRENTLY post on social media, not something on their parents posted on social media 10 years ago (which could be made private anyways). 

I have to agree. I am in my early thirties and Facebook is already a platform for „old people” aka 40+ (I know, I know). Right now Instagram is where you have to be. In ten years time it will be something else. People will live absolutely fine in this new reality where almost everyone has pictures online that parents or friends posted. 

[nst]

23 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Maybe because I'm a younger millennial I don't think these things will be used for teasing or what not. Right now people are begging their parents to scan old photos to post of themselves in all kinds of cute/undressed/funny moments to show off their "flash back Fridays" and "TBTs." I wish there was a digital record of my childhood instead of random birthday and Christmas photos or blurry Kodak pics that didn't develop right. 

We also don't know if Instagram will even be relevant in 10 years. Facebook is obsolete for my generation and we had 1000s of photos from middle/high school on there. No one goes back looking at them. 

Kids are way more likely to be teased for what they CURRENTLY post on social media, not something on their parents posted on social media 10 years ago (which could be made private anyways). 

i love this post. I grew up in the 80's. I can't even imagine back then the internet. A big deal back then was getting to rent a vcr watching movies and having a sleepover with the girls.  I once audiotaped a sleepover.  

my point is - it's good to know that facebook is obsolete.  It does feel dated. 

Instagram I love. I hope it will be around for at least another 5 years. 

and I like the blurry pics and faded colored pictures because there is a time for everything. 

16 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I don’t think any hiring manager would be taken aback from a sweet but slightly embarrassing childhood photo.

My child has absolutely no presence on Instagram (only platform I use) but that’s especially because you sign away rights on photos. And because obviously people can screen cap your photo. 

I have to agree. I am in my early thirties and Facebook is already a platform for „old people” aka 40+ (I know, I know). Right now Instagram is where you have to be. In ten years time it will be something else. People will live absolutely fine in this new reality where almost everyone has pictures online that parents or friends posted. 

yes us - old people 48 and counting - HA 

 

[SorenaJ]

So what if Israel is wearing a bib? He is a 4-year old. 4-year olds are messy. Doesn't strike me as odd at all. 

8 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

It's so exhausting that we mothers are judged for everything! Yeah, 5 year old children should eat without messes, prepare their own breakfast, shower themselves, dress themselves, never use a stroller or be carried, sleep alone, etc etc. Let me tell you something, eventually all of them will do it! No need to make mothers feel ashamed, these things are not important at all and a relaxed parenting may be a blessing! 

To the bolded: I totally know this was not the point and intention of the post, and maybe I'm just nitpicky, but it just struck me wrong. Not all of them will do it. Some adults can't dress/shower themselves or eat without a mess. If they are disabled. I had a friend in school who had severe celebral palsy, and she couldn't do any of those things herself. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, bal maiden said:

If I could convince my kids (5 and 2) to wear bibs, I bloody would! It would save a lot of laundry and clean up on my part! 

If we could make it socially acceptable I'd still wear one.  There is a reason I won't eat anything messy for lunch unless I have a cardigan I can button over the inevitable spill.

1 hour ago, nst said:

I once audiotaped a sleepover.  

I have an audiotape of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park from when it played on TV.  Was super excited years later when my mom bought me the VHS.

We did what we could without smartphones.

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, just_ordinary said:

People will live absolutely fine in this new reality where almost everyone has pictures online that parents or friends posted. 

We don't actually know this. I worry less about future embarrassment issues than I do about the long term effects of nearly every child basically "growing up on camera" and thinking in terms of making themselves a product. It's odd to me that we call the Duggars and Bateses out for doing this to their children, but give a pass to non-celebrities who post constant photos and videos of every minutiae of their kids' childhoods. 

I watched my sister giving my nephews their Christmas gifts. They couldn't be in the moment with a single one and just fully experience opening the gifts. They had to tear the paper a certain way and stop at the right moments for the photos. Everything was about posing and "setting a scene." I really believe this will cause issues later on, as well as fear the lack of privacy for an entire generation.

10 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I was suicidal as it was. I fear what would have happened if SM had been around back then. 

Out of nowhere sometimes, I will randomly be struck with horror at the thought of my middle school self having Facebook. 

I can't even express what a shit show it would have been. 

[OldFadedStar]

I’ve been very thoughtful of what I post of my daughter on social media. 
 

I have a family album on my iPhone that I share many pictures too. My filter on what I share on that isn’t as high as social media but I still really consider what I post there. I don’t live by my family so it’s the best way for them to see her grow up. I also have a rule that If you share any of the pictures from that album you are deleted from the group.

Once a month I do a mini photo dump on Facebook. I don’t post anything embarrassing or any nudity. 
 

for example, if I take 5 pictures a day of my baby maybe 5 get posted in the group in a week. Then only 15 get posted on Facebook a month. I know others are even more cautious than I am

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

Out of nowhere sometimes, I will randomly be struck with horror at the thought of my middle school self having Facebook. 

Worse would have been tween me having live journal.  Yikes.

[OldFadedStar]

Also, for social media it came out while I was in high school . MySpace in 10th grade and Facebook in 11th grade... I cringe when I view my Facebook memories. I’m glad most of the stuff on MySpace disappeared haha 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Social media.  My Mom told me to never put anything in writing I wouldn’t want to show up in a Law Court.  This means pictures too.  This advice has kept me out of a crap load of trouble.  No naked pictures and no written promises or threats!