Dillards 81: Volunteering for God

[Idlewild]

Maybe this is what his earlier lawsuit comments were about. However the rest of the family are still continuing with it so however awful it is they consider it worth it.

He was happy enough to reap the rewards- the numerous trips home while they were ‘missionaries’ , and the fact his wife is able to exploit her million or so followers for profit is down to TLC rather than Jill’s cooking or modelling skills.

he obviously feels badly done by & he should come out with it or keep quiet - these teasing comments make him look like a jerk who is prepared to hurt his wife’s feelings for a quick hit on Twitter. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

1 hour ago, Idlewild said:

he obviously feels badly done by & he should come out with it or keep quiet - these teasing comments make him look like a jerk who is prepared to hurt his wife’s feelings for a quick hit on Twitter. 

I agree. He needs to either shut up or come out with it, neither of which are his style.

Even at 30, this dude is still naive and immature.  I have no doubt Boob did him wrong, but he refuses to acknowledge his own role in this (and the benefits he reaped).  He has buyer’s remorse and blames everyone but himself.

His anger also seems very misplaced...he rails at TLC yet his beef is probably with Boob.  Sure, Boob couldn’t have done what he did without TLC, but TLC didn’t establish family dynamics that he chose to marry into.

He also says ‘we’ In his tweet yet he is likely thinking only of himself. I would be ragey too if I suddenly became an outsider while the family child molester gets taken care of, but I 100% believe he’s not thinking of the effect this is having on Jill. He was more than happy to thank Josh publicly for his missioncation donation.  Jill’s realization that her family is screwed up likely is a result of his anger rather than a desire to truly help her.  Jill is also clearly struggling as a SAHM these days, yet he’s either willfully ignorant or simply doesn’t care.  There is no ‘we’ in their relationship.

Hey Dillwank, unless you come out with it or move on and leave the anger behind, I’m going to keep thinking you’re a sniveling little man-child who didn’t get his way. Prove me wrong.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

12 hours ago, marmalade said:

Derelict drops a nuke. If there wasn't study between him and JB, there will be once JB gets wind of this. Apologies, because I don't know how to spoiler tag this. ?

 

So, filming for TLC made them almost sane? Or have I been using this phrase wrong my whole life?  I thought it was the brink of insanity?

Edited December 27, 2019 by allthegoodnamesrgone
I can still fix it.

[artdecades]

I think he may be referring to the drama surrounding Sam’s birth which we still don’t have the details for. 

[lil_secret]

20 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

So, filming for TLC made them almost sane? Or have I been using this phrase wrong my whole life?  I thought it was the bring of insanity?

The phrase is "the brink of insanity". "The bring of insanity" basically means the same thing tho, so nbd ?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, lil_secret said:

The phrase is "the brink of insanity". "The bring of insanity" basically means the same thing tho, so nbd ?

I meant brink, but I can't type for shit so...?

[lil_secret]

6 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I meant brink, but I can't type for shit so...?

Oh, well! If you meant "brink" then I honestly think that insanity and sanity both work lol.

[Italiangirl]

Found this on the insta comment it catch my eyes cause it was the first comment under the photo as soon as I opened the app

Spoiler

 

 

Edited December 27, 2019 by Italiangirl
Posted the photo out of the spoiler box

[Snarkasarus Rex]

He does have a way with words, doesn’t he??

I’ve been thinking about his tweet, and I wonder if this is a reference to when he appeared to be struggling physically (and likely mentally) after they went to Sintrul Merica.  Given the Duggars’ view of mental health, it’s not surprising no one encouraged him to get help. It also took a long time for him to look healthy again, and maybe he’s bitter about being left to fend for himself and eventually being let go.  I don’t think it has to do with Sam’s birth since Jill said they quit filming shortly before he was born.

With regard to the Dillards’ estrangement, I’m not sure who’s the bigger asshole, Dillwank or Boob. I could totally see Boob being the bigger prick, but we’ve also seen glimpses of a more sinister side of Derick....hmmm.

ETA: oooh....just saw that comment about Boob!  If that’s true, he definitely is the bigger asshole...

Edited December 27, 2019 by Snarkasarus Rex
This just in

[fluffernutter]

Wait they aren't allowed to be at her folks house without boob being there? What the hell?!

[neuroticcat]

Wow. The Jim Bob comment makes more sense.

I personally think the Dillards are pulling away on their own. It doesn’t make it less painful, but if they are in therapy and learning about boundaries, they may be making attempts to set boundaries or exert identities as separate adults. I think that’s much more likely than the family shunning them randomly. I think an adult child exerting independence is intolerable for a narcissistic parent. If JB’s response as head of the clan is to say that they can only be around the rest of the kids under his supervision, well...??‍♀️ They can either fall in line or muddle their way through to healthier dynamics, though it’s so costly with narcissistic family dynamics. 

This actually makes me hopeful for the other siblings. If they have any loyalty to Jill this may open their eyes to exert their own independence. JB may end up “losing” more children if he’s not remotely willing to bend...but then we see in IBLP there’s only absolute paternal authority so unlikely. 

Edited December 27, 2019 by neuroticcat

[Idlewild]

Well Derrick  is spilling the beans on Instagram now- perhaps her reads here- hi Derrick!

he says all of them were under the impression they did the show as a ministry with reimbursements for gas, travel etc. Jill had to have JB’s permission to go to Jessa while she was in labour. If that is true the JB ought to be ashamed of himself. I can see why the Duggar kids might believe this but any of the ones marrying in must have thought it weird and challenged it? Mind you, Anna was similarly brain washed by her parents not to question and Ben was terribly young, star struck and in love with Jessa and still lives a better life than most jobless twenty somethings with 3 children.

While I am enjoying this mess I do feel for Jill if this is true- it is very cruel of JB to treat her like this- she was his cash cow for long enough. The other siblings ought to take a long look at themselves too.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

16 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

Wait they aren't allowed to be at her folks house without boob being there? What the hell?!

I agree...but Derick’s comment lacks context.  If he was shit-stirring during unsupervised visits, I could see JB making that rule.  Also, I think Derick takes liberties with the word ‘we’...he might just be the only one who is banned from unsupervised visits.  Jill was there last Dec when Boobchelle were on their missioncation, and we’ve seen her with family in other places...but no Derick.

Straight up,  he’s an unreliable narrator. I do think Boob is a shitty human being, but I’m not willing to give Dillwank the benefit of the doubt either.

[Tatar-tot]

25 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

Wait they aren't allowed to be at her folks house without boob being there? What the hell?!

Something must have happened.....Jill used to be daddy’s girl & Jim-Bob’s favorite.  This would not be something that came out of the blue.  I would love to know the back story to this one. 

[breakfree]

This is everything of substance he's said so far. I do think he's being fairly candid now. Wonder if all the kids think no one is getting paid in cash?

 

Spoiler

 

Edited December 27, 2019 by breakfree
Spoiler tag

[singsingsing]

Wait, they’re not allowed at the TTH if Jim Bob ISN’T there? WTF? Does Jim Bob need to be there to keep an eye on them? Spill the tea, Derick, you know you’re loving this.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

I agree...but Derick’s comment lacks context.  If he was shit-stirring during unsupervised visits, I could see JB making that rule.  Also, I think Derick takes liberties with the word ‘we’...he might just be the only one who is banned from unsupervised visits.  Jill was there last Dec when Boobchelle were on their missioncation, and we’ve seen her with family in other places...but no Derick.

Straight up,  he’s an unreliable narrator. I do think Boob is a shitty human being, but I’m not willing to give Dillwank the benefit of the doubt either.

He said Jill had to get permission from JB to go to the TTH w/ Jessa when she was in labor.  If that is true, that is shitty. Sounds like Boob is having a hard time allowing his children to leave and cleave. Shocking I know, control freak can't control so he goes scorched earth.  If they are breaking free, from her family nightmare, I hope she takes Joy & Austin with her.

I still think it is only a matter of time, specifically 8 years time when Josie turns 18, that these kids go off the rails and the books start writing themselves. No one wants to be cut off from the youngest siblings, so they are all biding their time, and getting some pay out, in the form of houses, from JB. 

[bella8050]

Hmm that comment about JB is interesting. But JB was there on Christmas and the Dillards didn't stop over. 
 

I'm still getting a bad feeling the distancing is more about Derick's pride than trying to help Jill. She just talked positively about the show's crew in answering someone's comment about why they left the show. Agree with @singsingsing their lives were in a messy state, especially towards the end of filming but it seems like all those things would have happened without the show. I'm sure being made to talk about them added some strain, but it doesn't seem like the root cause.

I just want to know more about how Jill truly feels about all this. But either she's not ready to speak up, or even if she was, would her angry be her own or what Derick convinced her she should be angry about?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Wait, they’re not allowed at the TTH if Jim Bob ISN’T there? WTF? Does Jim Bob need to be there to keep an eye on them? Spill the tea, Derick, you know you’re loving this.

They are getting the Famy treatment. He doesn't want the other kids getting an independent thought so he's treating them like this to keep the others in line, in case they too think of thinking, for themselves. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

I’m sorry, Derick is a fucking moron if he believed the family wasn’t paid for the show.  I could see the Duggkids and Bin believing that, but not Derick and certainly not Jeremeee.  And how would anyone have standing to sue them if they were volunteers and hadn’t signed a contract? 

Now I’m convinced he went to law school because of this whole experience. ?

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, breakfree said:

This is everything of substance he's said so far. I don't see him say Jill needed permission to be at Jesse's birth unless he deleted it. I do think he's being fairly candid now. Wonder if all the kids think no one is getting paid in cash?

I can fully accept that Jill and Derick were both ignorant/naive/foolish enough to honestly believe that no one was getting paid from the show, but Derick is totally full of shit trying to say that it wasn’t their show and they only made guest appearances. Yes, 19K&C wasn’t their show, but they were VERY heavily featured - as they were on Counting On, which was originally called ‘Jill and Jessa: Counting On’!

[Idlewild]

1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

I can fully accept that Jill and Derick were both ignorant/naive/foolish enough to honestly believe that no one was getting paid from the show, but Derick is totally full of shit trying to say that it wasn’t their show and they only made guest appearances. Yes, 19K&C wasn’t their show, but they were VERY heavily featured - as they were on Counting On, which was originally called ‘Jill and Jessa: Counting On’!

Yes that bit of his account is definitely BS. Wasn’t their wedding special the highest rated episode? Plus all the courtship and proposal nonsense- he must assume everyone is as gullible as his in-laws. 

[singsingsing]

Also, he’s saying there are no hard feelings, but they can’t go to the house unless JB is there, and he just casually mentions the possibility of suing the family.
 

Derick, your gaslighting skills truly suck.

Like damn, Derick, I know you think you’re a genius, and you’re obviously intelligent enough to handle university level academics, but your social intelligence is nonexistent and you have no common sense.

[libgirl2]

9 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

But that damn interview wasn't done by TLC, that was fucking Fox News and Kelly

But you know JB's hand was in on it. 

[eye_browz]

Poor Jill. She was JB's golden child and now she's probably feeling torn between her family and her husband.

No wonder, she's embraced pants, nose piercing, cutting hair, etc. Following all of the rules didn't guarantee a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship with her family. 

I don't understand why "Jill" needs permission to visit the big house! Jill! Needs permission! 

That's cold blooded.  But she's supposed to submit to her headship and JB doesn't like her headship.  

Also, Derrick mentioned being at the "brink of insanity". Yes, we knew that Derrick has mental issues, and Jill suffered with anxiety in Danger America, as well as separation anxiety whenever Derrick went to work. 

Derrick was willfully going back to Danger America but it's clear that after having their first child (and second child), Jill wanted to settle down in Arkansas and leave the mission field. Plus, whatever happened with Sam's birth was traumatic. 

There's so much bubbling under the surface with these two!

Edited December 27, 2019 by eye_browz