Maxwell 27: Increasing the Clan

[keepercjr]

5 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Steve reminds me of a conversation I had with my young cousin once. "What cool stuff did you learn at summer camp today?" I asked. She looked at me like I had three heads. "We don't learn, it's not SCHOOL." 

My daughter (the one who was struggling a little in math till our chalk lessons) told me, when she started mainstream school in the 2nd grade after being homeschooled till then, that she didn't learn anything at home.  Despite the fact that she was ahead of her peers at school LOL. 

 

 

[Alisamer]

I wonder if the kidults realize how STRANGE that is. I would think at some point grandma or somebody would have said "Oh, I've not heard you play guitar in a while" and it would have come up. Even the sisters-in-law have to think that it is super odd to ban someone from doing something they enjoy and are good at.

Is that why they always go to the same place for their not-a-vacation? Vacations are fun, so they don't call it that. And someplace new might be EXCITING, or FUN, and we can't have that.

There are so many kids trapped in terrible fundie families out there, yet I still feel particularly bad for Sarah. She's an adult! They have no legal authority over her whatsoever. But they've stunted her to the point that it never seems to occur to her that she can do what she wants. They can't stop her, if she wants to get a job and her own apartment. They can't stop her, if she wants to go to the library and read non-bible books. They can kick her out of the house, they can give her guilt, they can weep, but she is an adult and could tell them to stick the schedule someplace unmentionable and walk out the door if she wanted. But it doesn't occur to her to want anything. She just does what daddy says, follows the schedule, and does what she's told. The girls might as well be robots that cook and clean.

[Coconutwater]

Sarah and her sisters more than likely have Stockholm syndrome, they think they will go to hell for doing their own thing and having a life. Honoring thy mother and father is a huge guilt trip in that house. 

[browngrl]

I just read Steve's post on the evils of entertainment.

Over the years I've been a mentor/advisor for many medical students/interns/residents. The advice I give them is the opposite of Steve's. I suggest regular doses of fun/entertainment. Medical training is  long and hard. Striking the right balance between work and play is key to getting through without burning out or worse.

Steve strikes me as a man who is terrified that if he lets go of even just one thread then his whole life will unravel. That is NOT the sort of person who should be advising people. That is the sort of person who would benefit from a good counsellor. 

[meee]

Hang on. They don't call it a vacation? What do they call it then? I thought the "what some might call a vacation" was FJ-lingo.

Also, ugh, it's like Steve wants everyone to be depressed. How this helps Teri I have no idea.

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, Coconutwater said:

Sarah and her sisters more than likely have Stockholm syndrome, they think they will go to hell for doing their own thing and having a life. Honoring thy mother and father is a huge guilt trip in that house. 

So much this. Steve has scared them so much about the outside world they are afraid to do anything. 

[Syriana]

22 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

This. Even  a subject you are interested in it isn't necessarily fun. Some of my classes were absolutely not fun, even when I did well in them, but I knew I needed the knowledge I was gaining from them.

I never much cared for the "find what you're passionate about and study that" advice to teens. It make more sense to encourage them to find what they are curious about, and follow that path as far as it takes them. Maxchilds aren't allowed to be curious about much.

3

One teacher I had for my favourite subject (Chemistry) had a reputation for being very, very honest!  He came in one day and introduced the lesson with 'this is a get your head down and get it learnt day; the content is boring to grasp, but what we can do with it is interesting so let's get it learnt and we can get to the interesting bit faster'.  He wasn't wrong about the contest not being interesting, he was also very right about the interesting bit coming later.

I tend to agree that encouraging teens to look for their passion isn't great advice, basically because few high school age teens find their passion at school - although I was lucky in that sense, I found the subject I was passionate about at 11 and the area I curious about as I pursued my subject into university.

I sometimes wonder how Steve Maxwell will answer for his decisions and actions, he has not only stifled at least some of his gifts (his children) but he has left them scared to used their own gifts and actively stopped them doing (or perhaps even finding) what they truly excel at.  There are many ways to interpret the Parable of the Talents, but whatever you think the word 'talent' refers to the lesson is the same - use it or lose it.  How will he answer for his decision to emotionally blackmail his children into submission?  How will he answer for his decision to call their God-given gifts idols and then ban them?  How will he answer for not allowing, much less encouraging, his children to be the best version of themselves?

(The last para assumes an element of religious faith, no insult is meant to those who are atheist etc)

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 hours ago, browngrl said:

Steve strikes me as a man who is terrified that if he lets go of even just one thread then his whole life will unravel. That is NOT the sort of person who should be advising people.

I am one of those people by nature.  it's a mentally painful way to live.

[fundiefan]

17 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I used to teach English. You know what got my students to engage with the material the best and really succeed? Incorporating their interests into the lesson content, using games and songs to teach, encouraging them to be creative with English, and helping them overcome embarrassment/shyness by encouraging them to be silly sometimes by making funny sentences or using funny voices to practice speaking. Know what bored them out of their skulls? Endless tests and monotone repetition. 

I failed US History in high school. Second semester my Junior year, which meant I had to take it over again my senior year and could not graduate in January. I had to stay in school an entire semester to complete that half of the class. Yes, I am still bitter; I should have and could have graduated in January were it not for the damn history class. 

I am now a history fanatic. I love it, I read more about history than anything else. I have a few obsessions, namely Henry VIII and Medivel British History and to a slightly lesser extend, the US during the civil war. I had a phase for several years, while in college, of being so into the US Civil War that when the ex and I planned a camping vacation, I made us to go Virginia so we could hit up as many battlefield sites as we could manage. 

My first college professor for history was a billion miles away from my high school teacher. High school dude was awful. All memorizing names and dates and facts. Exams that were literally "what date did this happen" and "who did that" and "where did the Mayflower land". The whole package of bad teaching by forced memorization. He was dry and class was pretty much just him reading from the text book.  When I got to college, the world opened up and I found a passion. I had an amazing, engaging professor. She seriously and literally made history come alive. Our final wasn't a written exam, it was "imagining a life" - we had to create a person from some one point in history (US history up to the Civil War was the class, so it wasn't too broad) and tell their story. That meant we had to learn facts and dates and politics and specifics in order to tell the story. It was epic. And changed the way I look at history. It awakened a passion I didn't know I had, but still hasn't dissipated.  If I could change course at this later stage of life, I would totally and completely become a historian.

Anyway, that's just my personal experience with fact based teachers versus engaging education. Class failure to obsession.

Reading books and practicing is a good way to absorb a shit ton of information. But a real teacher with skills and awareness can change a life. 

 

[theologygeek]

This is hilarious.  "Few want to learn and work when they can play."  That man is either living under a rock or just says this crap to instill fear so he can make more money by selling his stuff.  What does he think the rest of the world does?  If you don't work, you don't eat.  The majority of adults know how to work and play.  If they didn't, the majority of adults would be homeless.  

Ten bucks says Christopher has a landscaping business.  That equipment is not for "lawn projects."  

[anjulibai]

Wow, that's pretty bad if Christopher is leaning on a landscaping business. He's really tried everything to find a niche.

He wanted to be an EMT. They make decent money. It's respectable, it's serving others. It might not have the greatest of schedules, but he'd be able to be home often enough. 

But no, can't be an EMT. Home often isn't enough, it has to be ALL the time. He'd have to go to college! He'd have to work with women! 

Christopher won't have true success because he was not given the opportunity to find something he could be successful at. Steve limited his options to things he doesn't seem to have an talent for. And what's worse, in Steve's mind not having a talent for them is a good thing! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Wow, that's pretty bad if Christopher is leaning on a landscaping business. He's really tried everything to find a niche.

He wanted to be an EMT. They make decent money. It's respectable, it's serving others. It might not have the greatest of schedules, but he'd be able to be home often enough. 

But no, can't be an EMT. Home often isn't enough, it has to be ALL the time. He'd have to go to college! He'd have to work with women! 

Christopher won't have true success because he was not given the opportunity to find something he could be successful at. Steve limited his options to things he doesn't seem to have an talent for. And what's worse, in Steve's mind not having a talent for them is a good thing! 

there's no shame in landscaping - can't snark on someone working hard to support ones family.

I know you weren't either, and I agree that its terrible that Steve steered him away from finding his own path leaving him scrambling to support an ever growing family on the one income he's cobbling together .

then I remember his condescending af tone about women in IT on their now defunct 1 ton ramp and my sympathy fades.

 

[nausicaa]

I know I've said it before, but it really, really angers me that Steve and Teri will use doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals, but believe their precious offspring are too godly for those jobs. Thereby essentially condemning to sinfulness (and by extension hell) the same people they rely on to keep them healthy. 

And yeah, wouldn't want Christopher to go around healing people. He's gotta conduct himself the way Jesus did...

58 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

there's no shame in landscaping - can't snark on someone working hard to support ones family.

I know you weren't either, and I agree that its terrible that Steve steered him away from finding his own path leaving him scrambling to support an ever growing family on the one income he's cobbling together .

Landscaping is honest work, but I do wonder if it pays enough since it is so seasonal? Especially (I imagine) in Kansas where winters are long?

And this all begs the question that constantly pesters me about the Maxwell sons: Why on earth don't they just start a contracting company? They're really good at it, it's "manly," it pays well, they'd be their own bosses, and an honest and reliable contractor is hard to find. Hell, I'd consider hiring them (okay, in part because of the FJ gossip, but still...) Plus as they got older and the work took more of a toll on their bodies, they could easily transition into the administrative end of things and hire others to do the manual labor. I just don't get it. We used to speculate that Steve was too snooty to let them do that full-time, but are landscaping and irrigation systems much more highfalutin?

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

there's no shame in landscaping - can't snark on someone working hard to support ones family.

I know you weren't either, and I agree that its terrible that Steve steered him away from finding his own path leaving him scrambling to support an ever growing family on the one income he's cobbling together .

then I remember his condescending af tone about women in IT on their now defunct 1 ton ramp and my sympathy fades.

 

What was said on the 1 ton ramp site.

[singsingsing]

4 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Our final wasn't a written exam, it was "imagining a life" - we had to create a person from some one point in history (US history up to the Civil War was the class, so it wasn't too broad) and tell their story. That meant we had to learn facts and dates and politics and specifics in order to tell the story. It was epic.

That is SO COOL. As a writer and a history and genealogy fanatic, that would have been my dream exam! I majored in History and I wish I'd gotten to do a project like that.

[Ozlsn]

9 hours ago, Alisamer said:

But they've stunted her to the point that it never seems to occur to her that she can do what she wants. They can't stop her, if she wants to get a job and her own apartment. 

If they control the finances then it's quite easy to stop her. Sarah probably doesn't have access to any of the money her books have earned, certainly has extremely limited privacy and possibly also has limited access to a vehicle (which is almost certainly not owned by her).  Theoretically she could get an external job while still living at home, but the level of guilt-tripping would be intense (and there is always the possibilty that Steve would kick her out if she persisted). She is sheltered enough that she is quite probably ignorant of what resources would be available to her. I keep hoping that she'll move in with her grandmother - even as a carer it would give her more freedom and space (physical and mental) than she's ever had.

[VodouDoll]

With a van and trailer like that, Chris is 100% a landscaper now. Which is totally fine, nothing wrong with that, but do his clients know he’s bringing a little kid with him to work? I would NOT like that at all. Landscaping has dangerous equipment and chemicals. I doubt his business (or his employer but let’s be real, this is Maxhell, it’s a one man show) is insured for that kid. If an accident happens, who pays?

[Syriana]

9 hours ago, anjulibai said:

But no, can't be an EMT. Home often isn't enough, it has to be ALL the time. He'd have to go to college! He'd have to work with women! 

 

It's much worse than having to work with women, he would have had to have had physical contact with female patients - even see them in a state of undress depending on the situation!  Surely not even wearing gloves would compensate for that level of potential immodesty?  His father would have wept, wailed and fasted himself into nothingness.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 hours ago, SPHASH said:

What was said on the 1 ton ramp site.

I posted chunks of my rage about it years ago, will find it when I get home tonight. 

[usmcmom]

In the Midwest, where I used to live, landscapers often did snow and ice removal in the winter, making their job a year-round one. In fact, the snow removal was fairly profitable, I think, if they got a couple of businesses as clients. Keeping parking lots and entry ways clear at the crack or dawn was a HUGE benefit to the companies. 

Maybe, Christopher is doing that too?

[Tatar-tot]

13 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

there's no shame in landscaping - can't snark on someone working hard to support ones family.

I know you weren't either, and I agree that its terrible that Steve steered him away from finding his own path leaving him scrambling to support an ever growing family on the one income he's cobbling together .

then I remember his condescending af tone about women in IT on their now defunct 1 ton ramp and my sympathy fades.

 

No - what is sad is all those kids are reasaonbly intelligent. They should have been provided the same educational opportunities Steve and Teri were provided.  This  could have easily been accomplished on an engineer’s salary in Kansas. 

Instead, the boys are scraping by to make ends meet raising more children then they can afford.  

Steve you really did a number on your boys.  You had a nice nest egg rolling out of Boeing.   Your boys, who bought houses debt free, have shitty jobs barely making above minimum wage.  

Mowing yards in 90 plus heat in the dead of summer is a horrible job, especially  for a man pushing 40.  It is downright dangerous.  

God forbid anything seriously needs to be repaired to their homes the boys cannot do themselves.  I guess they can get their homeowners insurance to pay for it like the PP. 

[Melissa1977]

12 hours ago, nausicaa said:

And this all begs the question that constantly pesters me about the Maxwell sons: Why on earth don't they just start a contracting company

I think they tried, but for some reason it didn't work. I don't blame them. Steve was the boss, and I'm sure this was the reason the sons tried to look for another business as far as they could. And while Christopher and John seem comfortable doing physical work, Nathan and Joseph may not be willing to do this kind of job. In fact, Nathan has worked in a non-family related company (if I recall correctly) and went to a gym, so maybe he's a bit independent.

On the other side, I can picture Steve using his contracting company as a way to spread the word. People just don't expect builders to come to pray! I wonder if Maxwells are known in their city and if they are (or not) appreciated.

[Alisamer]

34 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

On the other side, I can picture Steve using his contracting company as a way to spread the word. People just don't expect builders to come to pray! I wonder if Maxwells are known in their city and if they are (or not) appreciated.

I can see it now - they show up to work, gather in a circle out front, and Steve begins praying LOUDLY - "God bless us as we provide service for these HEATHENS! Lord protect us from their worldly evil that we may witness to them whether they want to hear it or not so they will be CONVICTED to REPENT of their sinful ways, so they will know where they are going when they DIE!"

[PennySycamore]

@Alisamer, that's the kind of contractor I'd want to avoid.  

[Lisafer]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

I can see it now - they show up to work, gather in a circle out front, and Steve begins praying LOUDLY - "God bless us as we provide service for these HEATHENS! Lord protect us from their worldly evil that we may witness to them whether they want to hear it or not so they will be CONVICTED to REPENT of their sinful ways, so they will know where they are going when they DIE!"

This scenario is killing me! If it was my house, I think I'd have to film it while shaking with laughter. And afterwards make sure to place a large Buddha on the lawn and hang a pentacle on the front door.