Maxwell 27: Increasing the Clan

[daisyjane1234]

I was thinking about this thread/post while driving today.  The CBC had a news report talking about the importance of boredom for all of us.  The news article was exploring it vis a vis our cell phone/internet use, and the importance of "disconnecting", but my mind immediately went to the Maxwells and their slavish devotion to busy-ness - that seems to cross into a form of worship unto itself.

The point of the discussion was that these days we don't allowed ourselves to become bored, which inhibits our creativity and productivity, among other things.  We immediately fill the void with online "stuff".  

I, of course, immediately thought of the Maxwells and their need to fill every moment of every day with something they define as productive, even if that productivity crosses into borg-like, robotic task completion.  They seem to see this mindless scheduling of tasks as essential since idleness is a sin that leads to depression and other forms of debauchery and moral failings.  But what they seemed to have missed is that empty space in one's life is imperative for creativity, personal reflection/contemplation/growth, meaningful worship, and other forms of introspection that are important for the self and faith.  But then I suppose this is a family that not only fails to see the connection, but sees most of those qualities as deeply threatening, even sinful.  

The mental gymnastics required for their particular theology and approach to life is fascinating.  Not to mention twisted, flawed, and pathetic.  

I know I am preaching to the choir, but this particular family fascinates me.

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I can see it now - they show up to work, gather in a circle out front, and Steve begins praying LOUDLY - "God bless us as we provide service for these HEATHENS! Lord protect us from their worldly evil that we may witness to them whether they want to hear it or not so they will be CONVICTED to REPENT of their sinful ways, so they will know where they are going when they DIE!"

I'd be tempted to answer:

You want me to know where I'm going to go when I die?

I want to know where you're going to mow while you cry!

Get to work!

[Black Aliss]

I can just see Chris the EMT arriving on the scene where a woman is in cardiac arrest. NFW could he bring himself to expose her chest to apply the defibrillator pads. He'd just let her die.

[Hane]

@usmcmom, here in the northeast it’s common for landscape companies to handle snow removal in winter as well.

[nelliebelle1197]

Well, Christopher has allowed the state registration for his photography business expire but he does not have another business registered under his name.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

14 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I posted chunks of my rage about it years ago, will find it when I get home tonight. 

in Googling for my old post the first result was this ad ...

Spoiler

Buffy.co | The Buffy® Comforter | Try Buffy Free For 30 Nights

ahem.  I am not that comforting.  and sure as shit not free.

 

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

the one ton ramp ...

couldn't find my post but they cover what made me ragey.

As a woman in IT with over a decade in exec management in an a very male dominated industry this really makes me want to talk shop with Steve and his team of technical penis-havers.

[MamaJunebug]

On 1/3/2019 at 3:51 PM, browngrl said:

I just read Steve's post on the evils of entertainment.

Over the years I've been a mentor/advisor for many medical students/interns/residents. The advice I give them is the opposite of Steve's. I suggest regular doses of fun/entertainment. Medical training is  long and hard. Striking the right balance between work and play is key to getting through without burning out or worse.

Steve strikes me as a man who is terrified that if he lets go of even just one thread then his whole life will unravel. That is NOT the sort of person who should be advising people. That is the sort of person who would benefit from a good counsellor. 

What does Steve make of the writer - was it Norman Cousins? - who helped heal himself by watching a steady stream of funny movies ?

On 1/3/2019 at 4:06 PM, meee said:

Hang on. They don't call it a vacation? What do they call it then? I thought the "what some might call a vacation" was FJ-lingo.

Also, ugh, it's like Steve wants everyone to be depressed. How this helps Teri I have no idea.

Someone else probably remembers more details, but IIRC the first time they dragged ass to Colorado they described the trip as going on “what some might call ‘a vacation’...” and then explained that while they would indeed be away from home and not working (presenting their sales seminar) , they certainly would NOT be frivolously “vacationing” and having f-n and the suchlike. 

[MamaJunebug]

On 1/3/2019 at 9:19 PM, anjulibai said:

Wow, that's pretty bad if Christopher is leaning on a landscaping business. He's really tried everything to find a niche.

He wanted to be an EMT. They make decent money. It's respectable, it's serving others. It might not have the greatest of schedules, but he'd be able to be home often enough. 

But no, can't be an EMT. Home often isn't enough, it has to be ALL the time. He'd have to go to college! He'd have to work with women! 

Christopher won't have true success because he was not given the opportunity to find something he could be successful at. Steve limited his options to things he doesn't seem to have an talent for. And what's worse, in Steve's mind not having a talent for them is a good thing! 

And no doubt as contractors they had to speak with customers who were —ugh! You know — women!  

What bothers me about lawn care in Prissy’s case is that it is a moderately hazardous and manual endeavor. Folks have already mentioned power equipment, chemicals, etc. On top of that, it requires all senses, strong spine and all four limbs in working order. If Pris is ever disabled (heaven forbid!), how will he provide for NRAnna and 5 or 11-ty kids?

[PennySycamore]

@MamaJunebug, you are correct about the author of Anatomy of an Illness being Norman Cousins.

Among other things, he was the long-time editor of Saturday Review.  I used to read Saturday Review in the library.  

Norman Cousins

The Maxwells would not have found Cousins acceptable.  He was Jewish and a liberal.

[FloraDoraDolly]

2 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

And no doubt as contractors they had to speak with customers who were —ugh! You know — women!  

What bothers me about lawn care in Prissy’s case is that it is a moderately hazardous and manual endeavor. Folks have already mentioned power equipment, chemicals, etc. On top of that, it requires all senses, strong spine and all four limbs in working order. If Pris is ever disabled (heaven forbid!), how will he provide for NRAnna and 5 or 11-ty kids?

Even if he isn't disabled per se, he is a middle aged man and this kind of work puts a lot of wear and tear on the body. Christopher might be able to manage doing lawn care now, but will he still be able to keep up when he's 50? 55? 60? By then, his sons* will be old enough to help out, but it's sad if that's the only kind of work they will be allowed to do.

 

*Yes, I know that the female of the species is capable of doing lawn care, but these are the Maxwells and this particular branch of the family is still wearing prairie dresses. 

[AliceInFundyland]

On 1/3/2019 at 9:49 PM, singsingsing said:

That is SO COOL. As a writer and a history and genealogy fanatic, that would have been my dream exam! I majored in History and I wish I'd gotten to do a project like that.

Oh I quoted the wrong person. I did this too. I took a modern Asian history class and had to attempt an autobiography of a historical figure. I picked Mao. That was absolutely insane. To be honest, it was a community college and the bar was not super high. I did not stretch to the utmost. It was still crazy. That teacher was awesome.

@nastyhobbitses I agree with you about ESL. I did not teach but did do it as a student job. I conversed and helped with assignments. We had so much fun meeting up and walking around and looking at magazines or people or anything. Girls   I brought JellyBellys and had them try to describe the flavor. Talking and engaging is a needed part of learning. It was one of the most entertaining random job experiences I’ve had. It ends up as an interesting bullet in my “customer service” skill set.

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

On top of that, it requires all senses, strong spine and all four limbs in working order. If Pris is ever disabled (heaven forbid!), how will he provide for NRAnna and 5 or 11-ty kids?

It doesn't take much to be out of action either. My husband did his ACL and tore his meniscus which meant a full knee reconstruction and he was out for about four months. All he did was step and twist awkwardly while watering the garden. A guy at work had his achilles snap while putting the bins out and was on crutches for about six weeks. I hope he has income protection insurance.

[ricky_ticky]

Sarah, Anna, and Mary have repeatedly stated that their strong preference is to remain at home, living with and enjoying time as an extended family. I tend to believe them myself, since the option of stepping out into the world as an independent single woman must be terrifying and fraught with all kinds of dangers in their minds. Why would they take on the increased responsibilities, pressures, and isolation of solo-living when they're comfortable in the family home?

IIRC throughout the years it has been made clear that Sarah (and the other girls) are allowed to stockpile their earnings. Sarah used proceeds from the sale of her books to pay for her own braces, for example, voice lessons, and dog training. Anna buys her balloon and face-painting supplies, Mary her art supplies, by working in the family business. Likely they all have healthy savings accounts as a sort of dowry or hope chest. What I think is the saddest aspect of their lives (especially Sarah's) is that their one-and-only goal of marriage and motherhood is so outside of their own control, handed over to their great babysitter in the sky who is supposed to make romance happen for them. Once the travel shows ended, what hope did they have of meeting worthy, eligible, interested bachelors? 

It's just very pathetic to think of poor Sarah living out her life like a virtual nun - a thought that would be most appalling to them, I'm sure!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, ricky_ticky said:

Sarah, Anna, and Mary have repeatedly stated that their strong preference is to remain at home, living with and enjoying time as an extended family. 

I hope for them that’s true, but even if it wasn’t what else could they possibly state publicly?

do you think they’d be allowed to speak openly of wants and needs outside of those sanctioned by Steve and Teri?

[PennySycamore]

@ricky_ticky,  I'd think actual women religious*/sisters/nuns would be apt to have more fulfilling lives and more freedom though.   Sisters might care for the sick as doctors and nurses, care for the poor and dispossessed, teach,  write, be a master cheese maker -well, anything but be a wife and mother.  

I was just reading about the Abbey of Regina Laudis in Connecticut, which is the home of Sister Noella Marcellino, OSB, the Cheese Nun.  Many of the abbey's nuns pursue arts and crafts.  The women religious at the abbey have a contemplative vocation and are properly called nuns.  Women religious with active vocations (eg, doctors and teachers)  are called sisters and sisters and nuns together are women religious.

[anjulibai]

Sarah, Anna and Mary have said they want to remain at home in the context of "what happens if they never get married". Outwardly, they all profess to want to marry one day. 

[fundiefan]

On 1/4/2019 at 1:29 PM, daisyjane1234 said:

I was thinking about this thread/post while driving today.  The CBC had a news report talking about the importance of boredom for all of us.  The news article was exploring it vis a vis our cell phone/internet use, and the importance of "disconnecting", but my mind immediately went to the Maxwells and their slavish devotion to busy-ness - that seems to cross into a form of worship unto itself.

The point of the discussion was that these days we don't allowed ourselves to become bored, which inhibits our creativity and productivity, among other things.  We immediately fill the void with online "stuff".  

I, of course, immediately thought of the Maxwells and their need to fill every moment of every day with something they define as productive, even if that productivity crosses into borg-like, robotic task completion.  They seem to see this mindless scheduling of tasks as essential since idleness is a sin that leads to depression and other forms of debauchery and moral failings.  But what they seemed to have missed is that empty space in one's life is imperative for creativity, personal reflection/contemplation/growth, meaningful worship, and other forms of introspection that are important for the self and faith.  But then I suppose this is a family that not only fails to see the connection, but sees most of those qualities as deeply threatening, even sinful.  

The mental gymnastics required for their particular theology and approach to life is fascinating.  Not to mention twisted, flawed, and pathetic.  

I know I am preaching to the choir, but this particular family fascinates me.

With Steve, sifiling creativity is exactly the point. Not allowing anyone's thoughts to wander. No imagination or thinking of things outside the bubble Steve inflated. If any of his offspring have the opportunity to think or become creative or use their imagination, they might question him. They might realize that billions of people live lives entirely different from them and have yet to be struck down by their god or any other god. If any of them thinks, and reaches a conclusion that is not oen dictated by Steve, he would lose control of them, and ultimately, his cult. 

[Lgirlrocks]

Does anyone know if the Maxwells follow the pearls? The Bontragers promote their book on their website. I hope that John and Chelsy won’t use anything from that book.

[mango_fandango]

I’ve been browsing the blog lately. On a family photo post (2017), Sarah replied to a comment, and her reply alluded to the fact that it’ll be difficult to get everyone together for photos when the girls are married and likely living out of state.

We’ve speculated that marrying and moving out will be difficult enough for Sarah (and less so the others). Moving states would be a whole new level. Her brothers all live within a mile of the mothership. Her grandparents are right next door, and have been since the Maxwells moved to Kansas over twenty years ago. Having to move out of state, so far from all her family, would be such a shock for Sarah. She doesn’t have a life of her own, her whole day is spent with nieces and nephews and working for family businesses. Moving state is difficult enough for many people; when you’re as enmeshed in family life as Sarah, and have been for so long... I can’t imagine what that’s like. It’d be a big shock for Anna and Mary too, but Sarah is that much older, and has been the real backbone of Titus2 over the years from what the Maxwells have said.

[ricky_ticky]

7 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@ricky_ticky,  I'd think actual women religious*/sisters/nuns would be apt to have more fulfilling lives and more freedom though.   Sisters might care for the sick as doctors and nurses, care for the poor and dispossessed, teach,  write, be a master cheese maker -well, anything but be a wife and mother.  

I was just reading about the Abbey of Regina Laudis in Connecticut, which is the home of Sister Noella Marcellino, OSB, the Cheese Nun.  Many of the abbey's nuns pursue arts and crafts.  The women religious at the abbey have a contemplative vocation and are properly called nuns.  Women religious with active vocations (eg, doctors and teachers)  are called sisters and sisters and nuns together are women religious.

This is a great point, (and believe me, I think the Maxwell sisters are very limited in their options.) I was referring to the contemplative, cloistered type of women religious in my post since prayer and theology is such an important part of the Maxwell lifestyle. At the same time, I think that the Maxwell sisters would say that their lives include most of the other activities you reference. Unlike some religious, the Maxwells have no formal qualifications, training, or vows so to speak, but they do pursue arts and crafts, music, and writing. They care for the aged and infirm and ill relatives. They have tutored and helped to homeschool nieces and nephews, teaching them to cook and memorize the bible and so forth. I think they would consider themselves to be very involved with child development from infancy to teenage. They "study" nutrition and health, they've participated in home reno projects and animal care, and they know a fair amount about hiking certain locations in Colorado. 

imho, Sarah, Anna, and Mary have internalized the concept of devout Christian womanhood that Steve and his ilk promote. Maybe some of us wish more for them, or wish that they would want more, but apparently they don't.

[MamaJunebug]

21 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hope for them that’s true, but even if it wasn’t what else could they possibly state publicly?

do you think they’d be allowed to speak openly of wants and needs outside of those sanctioned by Steve and Teri?

I do not think so, no. 

Possibly any one of them mentioned non-approved lifestyles in their younger years — and got a taken on a daddy-daughter date where he cried into his milkshake over their wanton willfulness. IOW, the female version of the production Steve put on with Chris & Nate as he pulled them from sports.  

[nelliebelle1197]

23 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Does anyone know if the Maxwells follow the pearls? The Bontragers promote their book on their website. I hope that John and Chelsy won’t use anything from that book.

Steve was friendly with the Pearls until Michael made snarky comments in an article about oversheltering children that was obviously a passive aggressive slam at the Maxwells

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Steve was friendly with the Pearls until Michael made snarky comments in an article about oversheltering children that was obviously a passive aggressive slam at the Maxwells

 

How do all these people know each other?

[nelliebelle1197]

Just now, HerNameIsBuffy said:

How do all these people know each other?

Probably the book shilling and conference circuit. They are all scamming each other at some level.