Maxwell 27: Increasing the Clan

[Lisafer]

5 hours ago, anjulibai said:

Steve's really just pissed that people like and do things that he doesn't like, or that he knows he can't do in moderation. I agree, he's jealous, and wants everyone to be as miserable and deprived as he is. 

Steve is a man shriveled with sour, jealous thoughts. Charles Dickens could have used him as a model for Scrooge. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 hours ago, Odd1Out said:

I agree that besides Steve’s control issues, he has had self-discipline issues in the past so he just doesn’t allow anything tempting in his life.

And if I were a betting woman is put real money on women being his main Achilles  heel.

No one cries over cleavage or goes to the airport to get fired up about contrasting buttons unless their own impure thoughts have a hair trigger.

[nelliebelle1197]

@keepercjr I was just coming to post about Prissy and lawn care. THAT van is not a just a casual van and it not only has a pile of equipment in the back, it has an expensive trailer. Chris and Joshua did “lawn projects”. What the hell does that mean??

Okay, Maxhell team, let’s find that lawn care business!

[Black Aliss]

8 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Steve said before that he doesn’t believe in the “kids will only engage with education if it’s fun” idea because then they will go through life expecting everything to be fun, and will be disappointed when they realise that life isn’t all fun and games, and consequently won’t bother. 

Fuck off with that bullshit, Steve. 

This. Even  a subject you are interested in it isn't necessarily fun. Some of my classes were absolutely not fun, even when I did well in them, but I knew I needed the knowledge I was gaining from them.

I never much cared for the "find what you're passionate about and study that" advice to teens. It make more sense to encourage them to find what they are curious about, and follow that path as far as it takes them. Maxchilds aren't allowed to be curious about much.

I think a lot of Teri's depression comes from not having been raised to live the life she has. Her parents sent her to college, they expected her to have a career, at least until the babies came along. Like most of us that age, I suspect she took some pride in not knowing how to cook because she was headed for bigger and better things than a life in the kitchen. Unlike many of us that age, she never figured out later that cooking can be a creative outlet, not just a source of drudgery.

[Hane]

Oh, I just remembered my second anti-Stevehovah OT point (Stevehovah, don’t read further, because you’ll have a stroke and meet your maker sooner than you’d planned):

One of my church friends plummeted into a deep depression in the wake of the 2016 presidential election. Our minister (a 75-year-old woman) came to her aid, in part, by ordering her to watch “Harold and Kumar Go To the White Castle.”

[SassyPants]

5 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

This. Even  a subject you are interested in it isn't necessarily fun. Some of my classes were absolutely not fun, even when I did well in them, but I knew I needed the knowledge I was gaining from them.

I never much cared for the "find what you're passionate about and study that" advice to teens. It make more sense to encourage them to find what they are curious about, and follow that path as far as it takes them. Maxchilds aren't allowed to be curious about much.

I think a lot of Teri's depression comes from not having been raised to live the life she has. Her parents sent her to college, they expected her to have a career, at least until the babies came along. Like most of us that age, I suspect she took some pride in not knowing how to cook because she was headed for bigger and better things than a life in the kitchen. Unlike many of us that age, she never figured out later that cooking can be a creative outlet, not just a source of drudgery.

In Maxhell a creative outlet is labeled an idol and forbidden, especially for a female.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

I think a lot of Teri's depression comes from not having been raised to live the life she has.

Possibly.  conversely I've often wondered if Steve going OTT with control was his way of dealing with her depression.  

The chicken or the egg kinda thing.

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

In Maxhell a creative outlet is labeled an idol and forbidden, especially for a female.

they encourage writing and drawing.

[Hane]

@SassyPants, yep. That’s why one of the gals celebrated her birthday with a “sewing party” (the three sisters made skirts) ONCE, and we never heard of such an event again. 

[Alisamer]

29 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 

they encourage writing and drawing.

Because they can profit from those things. And they are extremely limited in what they can write and draw. It also seems that Sarah doesn't necessarily enjoy writing all that much, but that's what she is scheduled to do, so...

i mean, I encourage the girls to run with that and do as much as they can with it if they enjoy it, but they are necessarily limited because of the heavy restrictions placed on them. I'd be willing to bet they aren't allowed to read the majority of the literature taught in public schools, and most writing advice suggests that the best authors start out as voracious readers. And can you imagine them studying art? Imagine them in the sculpture galleries at the Louvre, or taking a life drawing class, or studying art history and seeing the Venus of willendorf or Michaelangelo's David. They'd get two minutes in and have to go fast, weep, and pray for a month. 

[thoughtful]

41 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

they encourage writing and drawing.

 

But they assigned each of those activities to a daughter who doesn't like the one she is expected to do, and who is not great at it. And they make it clear that it is only to be done in the service of the family, family business or faith.

ETA: @Alisamer, GMTA!

[Lisafer]

46 minutes ago, Hane said:

Oh, I just remembered my second anti-Stevehovah OT point (Stevehovah, don’t read further, because you’ll have a stroke and meet your maker sooner than you’d planned):

One of my church friends plummeted into a deep depression in the wake of the 2016 presidential election. Our minister (a 75-year-old woman) came to her aid, in part, by ordering her to watch “Harold and Kumar Go To the White Castle.”

Your minister sounds lovely and I wish I could meet her!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

But they assigned each of those activities to a daughter who doesn't like the one she is expected to do, and who is not great at it.

end product nonwithstanding, I was under the impression they enjoyed it.  if not I stand sadly corrected.

[Marian the Librarian]

9 hours ago, SPHASH said:

I think that's why the Reversal boys bought fixer uppers, not because its cheaper but they spend so much time and money fixing it up they won't think about fun.  Or sports.

Or sex.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Or sex.

good thing I'm not a Maxwell...I can do diy and think about sex at the same time.

in fact the more boring the task the more my mind wanders.

[Ozlsn]

17 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Steve:  Few want to learn and work when they can play.

Kids learn through play. As do adults actually. For a father of multiple children who have all been at home most of the time he has really very little idea about children.

13 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Steve said before that he doesn’t believe in the “kids will only engage with education if it’s fun” idea because then they will go through life expecting everything to be fun, and will be disappointed when they realise that life isn’t all fun and games, and consequently won’t bother. 

Fuck off with that bullshit, Steve. 

Kids are disappointed, in many things they will encounter. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't go in expecting things to be fun - better than expecting them to be a boring slog to have to get through.  Even stuff that is tough gets easier if you sing it to show tunes (although you have to hum quietly in the exam...)

Seriously Steve is one of the most repressed (and repressive) individuals out there.

[mango_fandango]

Steve has clearly never heard of the work hard play hard philosophy. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...”

My friend did a Masters in Translation in 2017-18, which involved a lot of work and a dissertation. Yet she also managed to find the time to participate in several dance classes a week (university society) as well as socialise, plus tutoring multiple people in languages a week. Oh, and she also took Greek (modern) lessons from a tutor too. 

“Few want to work when they can play”?? Yeah, right. Bollocks, Stevie. “The enemy of learning is entertainment”? Erm, no. There is a balance to be struck in life. Life is not meant to be learn, learn, learn all the time with no allowance for letting off steam. People need time out to just chillax (by whatever means they fancy) or they crash and burn. 

[nastyhobbitses]

I used to teach English. You know what got my students to engage with the material the best and really succeed? Incorporating their interests into the lesson content, using games and songs to teach, encouraging them to be creative with English, and helping them overcome embarrassment/shyness by encouraging them to be silly sometimes by making funny sentences or using funny voices to practice speaking. Know what bored them out of their skulls? Endless tests and monotone repetition. 

[asta]

Has Steve never heard about balance? You can enjoy entertainment and be willing and happy to learn new skills. 

Balance is in the Bible, maybe he didn't read that part:

Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.... 13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

 

[Alisamer]

Steve reminds me of a conversation I had with my young cousin once. "What cool stuff did you learn at summer camp today?" I asked. She looked at me like I had three heads. "We don't learn, it's not SCHOOL." 

But they WERE learning. They were learning all sorts of things, she just didn't realize it because she associated learning with not-fun, and the learning she was doing was so fun she didn't recognize it. Coloring is learning. Drawing is learning. Reading is learning - even if it's a comic book or video game dialogue boxes, they're still seeing grammar and spelling in use. Walking in the woods and picking up cool rocks is learning. My sister passed a Chinese history class in college with flying colors, because she'd read a well-researched romance novel series that included a lot of it! There's so much learning that can be done easily and painlessly that seems like just "entertainment".

Can you imagine Sarah being told, "OK, you've got thirty minutes to go write. But it better not be fun!" 

Writing can be fun, drawing can be really fun (I'm trying to do a sketch a day in January, just for fun!). Life in general is supposed to include fun and entertainment. Even animals play, Steve.

[PennySycamore]

@Alisamer,   I love that your sister could pass her Chinese history class because she's read those romance novels!

And @asta,  I love your FJ name!  I watched a Thin Man marathon on New Year's Eve.  I think that's something of a NYE tradition on TCM.  

And this is not exactly about learning, but making unpleasant things not unpleasant (and well, just because):

 

[catlady]

8 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I used to teach English. You know what got my students to engage with the material the best and really succeed? Incorporating their interests into the lesson content, using games and songs to teach, encouraging them to be creative with English, and helping them overcome embarrassment/shyness by encouraging them to be silly sometimes by making funny sentences or using funny voices to practice speaking. Know what bored them out of their skulls? Endless tests and monotone repetition. 

Back in the dark ages of the mid-80s, I had an English teacher do similar things. When she covered poetry, she brought in a record player and a12-inch vinyl Bruce Springsteen album, handed out copies of the lyrics, and had us identify things like rhyme patterns and such while we listened to the record.  Then she had us do a similar exercise for homework with songs of our choice. This woman got a bunch of 14-year-olds to learn and care about poetry because she made it fun and relatable, and interesting enough that I still remember it 3.5 decades later.  

Fuck Steve. 

[Jana814]

45 minutes ago, catlady said:

Back in the dark ages of the mid-80s, I had an English teacher do similar things. When she covered poetry, she brought in a record player and a12-inch vinyl Bruce Springsteen album, handed out copies of the lyrics, and had us identify things like rhyme patterns and such while we listened to the record.  Then she had us do a similar exercise for homework with songs of our choice. This woman got a bunch of 14-year-olds to learn and care about poetry because she made it fun and relatable, and interesting enough that I still remember it 3.5 decades later.  

Sounds like she was a great teacher. She probably knew that her students might not have been fans of poetry but they probably were fans of Springsteen. 

[thoughtful]

17 hours ago, Lisafer said:

Steve is a man shriveled with sour, jealous thoughts. Charles Dickens could have used him as a model for Scrooge. 

[Melissa1977]

15 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

they encourage writing and drawing.

Only of it is not their main pleasure. Mary loved sewing more than drawing, so sewing was banned as a hobby. 

Sarah's writing is a chore and a Steve's project. Does she like it? Maybe, but I doubt she loves it with passion.

 

[Fun-Dee]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

Only of it is not their main pleasure. Mary loved sewing more than drawing, so sewing was banned as a hobby. 

Sarah's writing is a chore and a Steve's project. Does she like it? Maybe, but I doubt she loves it with passion.

 

Also, one of the sons became really good at guitar.  He was then banned from guitar, and given another instrument because it became an 'idol.'  Way back, I remember reading that they were allowed to ride bikes for exercise, not for fun.  

I went to a Christian school in Jr. High, and we learned Bible verses every week.  Some we learned by singing them.  Guess which ones I still remember 40+ years later.