Lori Alexander 59: The Oracle of California

[fluffy]

8 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

Does Lori really get enough media requests to have a "typical" response? 

She kind of does. I can hear your mind exploding from here. Mine already did. ?

[FullOfGravy]

1 hour ago, Sarah92 said:

Lori talks a lot about rights and women not fighting for them. Well then I guess I'll just have to stop fighting for my "right" to have a husband and children. After all no man owes me a relationship and children so I'll just have to stop looking for one. 

No, see, you're an awful, slutty working woman; it's no wonder no Good Christian Man (capitalization intended) wants you.  You need to quit your job immediately, move in with your father or another male relative who can ensure your purity, and pray that God will send you a husband.  If you go out on a limb and trust God, He'll provide one.  If you're lucky and God really blesses you, you might even get a man who isn't a controlling, abusive asshole.

[Frog99]

Have we identified grandchild number 9? I can only identify 8. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

So I've been thinking about the post on divorce a few days back. Does Lori not realize that a lot of times women don't get a sweet deal out of a divorce either? Some men won't pay child support etc... 

Lori acts like the woman gets all the man's money and he is left nearly on the street. That's not how it works.  I've known women who have struggled and been nearly evicted after divorce. However, most couples I've known who divorced already had heir own jobs. They sold the home, split the profit, and moved on. I've never seen a case where the woman was living the high life while her ex was out on the street because she took all his money.

I've never been through a divorce,  but I would assume judges try to be fair. 

[Krissy]

18 hours ago, Hisey said:

I did know a man who was morbidly obese, and who ultimately died from complications surrounding the health problems caused by the obesity.

His wife, and his family, did try to help him. For years. I spent a lot of time with this family, and I saw the healthy meals, the gentle encouragement, etc. I also saw the frustration and anger, when these things did no good.

LadyICan'tExplain, it sounds like you have some very personal experience in this area, and I would never presume to say what is right or wrong here, because I don't really know.

But I do wonder, if a husband is eating to numb some internal pain, can a wife really stop this? I just don't know if wives. . . even sahm wives. . . have that power. They can cook all the meals they want, but McDs is still just around the corner. From what I've seen, in my own experience, talking/coaxing/nagging/cooking healthily just doesn't fix the problem.

It's better to do something than do nothing, of course. But is the reverse true? Can a husband stop a wife from being obese? Would his encouragement/support/cooking help a person who doesn't want to be helped? (If a person wants help, then forget all of the above. In that case, of course support and help is good)

No a husband can’t stop a wife. I developed hypothyroidism and my weight ballooned. He doesn’t make me feel bad. He does encourage walking our dogs, getting a family gym membership, beach body on demand, and buying whatever I need to help. I guess I don’t see it as important as him being overweight because we all depend on him. Besides, his mom always nit picks him on it so I don’t have to lol. 

[wallysmommy]

Lori continuously talks about how she can't address the "exceptions."  But she plays the "exception" violin as a virtuoso.  She was had a nanny and a housekeeper because she was in too much pain to take care of her kids.  But if anyone else has health issues,  you just don't believe God enough for healing.  

She is a callous harridan who is now trying to clean up her image so that she can be the Godly Older Woman walking around with a glowing halo around her head.  I put her in the same box with the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus, and any other moron who does things for publicity.  She's no better than they are, attention whore that she is.

[Alisamer]

2 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Lori acts like the woman gets all the man's money and he is left nearly on the street. That's not how it works. 

That's how Lori would want it to work FOR HER. I have no doubt if Ken had left her, especially for another woman, Lori would have pulled out all the stops trying to squeeze every cent out of him so she could continue to sit home on his dime and buy herself $14 butter. She's 100% a gold digger who freely admitted she did not love Ken, she just married him because he checked off the boxes on her list of husband requirements, and then tricked him into "letting" her quit work to sit at home with a nanny and housekeeper while he worked full time. I'd feel sorry for him if he hadn't gone out of his way to prove he's just as awful as Lori.

Ugh, she is just vile and MEAN and I hope the people who are just now coming across her take the time to find out how awful and hypocritical she is. 

[Sarah92]

5 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

No, see, you're an awful, slutty working woman; it's no wonder no Good Christian Man (capitalization intended) wants you.  You need to quit your job immediately, move in with your father or another male relative who can ensure your purity, and pray that God will send you a husband.  If you go out on a limb and trust God, He'll provide one.  If you're lucky and God really blesses you, you might even get a man who isn't a controlling, abusive asshole.

Hahaha this gave me a good laugh because I'm a total virgin. And my relatively conservative parents have never asked me my virginity status, even when I was seeing people. So I don't know if I have a person to act as my headship and keep me pure. Bummer  

I might have dated the guy I went out with a few months back if he wasn't picking fights with me. "Oh I'm surprised you didn't make a fuss about me paying for dinner" or "it sounds like this egalitarian thing comes from someone hurting you", stuff like that because I mentioned being a feminist. I'm a super chill person and while I like a good debate, I don't need some conservative asshole who denies racism picking fights with me. Oh his denial of people of color experiencing racism was a final straw. So these guys need to step up their game in my opinion. 

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, Krissy said:

He does encourage walking our dogs, getting a family gym membership, beach body on demand, and buying whatever I need to help. I guess I don’t see it as important as him being overweight because we all depend on him.

Your husband sounds like a great guy. But I am sure he'd feel that your health is just as important as his. I don't have a job right now but people depend on me a lot!

[Imrlgoddess]

4 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

So I've been thinking about the post on divorce a few days back. Does Lori not realize that a lot of times women don't get a sweet deal out of a divorce either? Some men won't pay child support etc... 

Lori acts like the woman gets all the man's money and he is left nearly on the street. That's not how it works.  I've known women who have struggled and been nearly evicted after divorce. However, most couples I've known who divorced already had heir own jobs. They sold the home, split the profit, and moved on. I've never seen a case where the woman was living the high life while her ex was out on the street because she took all his money.

I've never been through a divorce,  but I would assume judges try to be fair. 

She buys into the bitter manosphere bs.  I was lurking around MGTOW website for a while (know your enemy and all that) and what I found was essentially the opposite of the First Wives Club.  Men who got married and ultimately were divorced for some reason or another.  Whatever state they lived in awarded mom the kids and half of the community property.  Judges do try to be fair and child support is based on percentages, it's all math.  If the man makes the majority of the income then he's going to pay the higher portion of the whole-the 100%.  I'm not sure how spousal support is figured, I would have had to pay my ex if he'd have gotten a lawyer.  Thankfully he didn't and I didn't have to go down that road.  I do know that if I'd have had to pay him a dividend every month, it would have either cancelled out the child support he was ordered to pay and/or it would have put me living back with my parents.  

I do totally understand that bitterness.  Heaven knows......When mine finally got the balls to leave me for good, I told him to stay gone.  I footed the entire divorce bill and a lot of the shared debt.  He paid child support when it was convenient for him.  I too have seen both sides, women who will rake a man over the coals just for spite (my current husbands ex) and men who will do the same.  I know men who have quit jobs to avoid child support and I know women who've quit so they can get more a month.  My ex payed minimal child support for almost 5 years, when I finally had enough of the bounced checks I took him back and it was subsequently raised.  I didn't ask for it to be that's just what happened.  It's gotten back to me since our girl is grown that I "raped him for child support for years".  Mmkay. 

I believe Lori would have taken Ken to the bank or fought him tooth and nail in an effort to stay married, be it another surprise child or something equally as deceptive.  I do think that they wholehearted believe anyone who isn't a raging fundamentalist Christian has a crappy marriage.  They think those people are deluded and are faking the happiness.  It can't possibly happen in a secular household....can it???

[ViolaSebastian]

For men's rights activists, oftentimes having to pay child support at all is considered "divorce rape" or "child support rape."* Because clearly each and every one of them is a special case where the woman took off the condom he was wearing or wrapped her legs around him when he tried to withdraw or purposely stopped taking her birth control bills so she can live high on the hog off of that sweet, sweet child support payment money. Because having a kid is sooo easy and sooo worth *alllllllll* that dough.

Reminds me of this thread on Reddit:

 

*I absolutely despise that term, btw.

[Imrlgoddess]

Far too many times here recently on Lori's blog or Facebook page, I've seen someone write: "she came up pregnant" regarding an unmarried woman.  Clearly she did that all alone and should be the only one bearing the brunt of the issue.  The MRA's get my hackles up something fierce.  Having a girl child makes it that much worse. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

4 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

For men's rights activists, oftentimes having to pay child support at all is considered "divorce rape" or "child support rape."* Because clearly each and every one of them is a special case where the woman took off the condom he was wearing or wrapped her legs around him when he tried to withdraw or purposely stopped taking her birth control bills so she can live high on the hog off of that sweet, sweet child support payment money.

*I absolutely despise that term, btw.

Yea, I think what these men are really whining about is that they still have to take care of their children financially.  When they really should be reflecting on their part of why the marriage didn't work.

If the ex wife is being a pain in the a$$ about any agreement in the divorce, he can notify the court and have it taken care of. 

They act like such babies.

[Koala]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I believe Lori would have taken Ken to the bank or fought him tooth and nail in an effort to stay married, be it another surprise child or something equally as deceptive. 

My guess?  That's why she tried for a baby in her mid-forties.  Ken mentioned being the equivalent of business partners once the kids were grown, and Lori knew she had to do something to lock him in.  After all, she and Ken's wallet have been together for many, many years, and she values their relationship above all else.  When that failed?  Enter: Debi Pearl.  

[quiversR4hunting]

On 12/17/2018 at 1:17 PM, Hisey said:

I did know a man who was morbidly obese, and who ultimately died from complications surrounding the health problems caused by the obesity.

His wife, and his family, did try to help him. For years. I spent a lot of time with this family, and I saw the healthy meals, the gentle encouragement, etc. I also saw the frustration and anger, when these things did no good.

LadyICan'tExplain, it sounds like you have some very personal experience in this area, and I would never presume to say what is right or wrong here, because I don't really know.

But I do wonder, if a husband is eating to numb some internal pain, can a wife really stop this? I just don't know if wives. . . even sahm wives. . . have that power. They can cook all the meals they want, but McDs is still just around the corner. From what I've seen, in my own experience, talking/coaxing/nagging/cooking healthily just doesn't fix the problem.

It's better to do something than do nothing, of course. But is the reverse true? Can a husband stop a wife from being obese? Would his encouragement/support/cooking help a person who doesn't want to be helped? (If a person wants help, then forget all of the above. In that case, of course support and help is good)

I would agree with your assessment. A spouse/partner of someone eating to numb internal pain, nobody can stop it until they want to stop it. My mom has made comments to me about not bringing in junk food to the house. She has stopped saying it now that I have said (numerous times) I don't, he goes to the store. Just last night he had a bag of chips and a can of that horrible frito lay cheese sauce. He ate the entire can (by himself) and that is when he put the chips away. I cook fairly healthy (my BMI is in the normal range along with all other health factors). he is diabetic (part diet, part genetics), he has seen his uncle have both legs amputated, his grandmother go blind and his mom not be able to walk a block. Doesn't matter, he still hasn't changed his eating. I am just glad I have life insurance on him so if he dies early, it will pay off the house, bills and a little left over for each child's college education. And for me a support group wouldn't help me (like Al-Anon but for spouses of eating disorders) because talking about it all the time just pisses me off. I have to let it go and not pay attention. I still get pissed but I can't focus on it all the time. 

5 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

So I've been thinking about the post on divorce a few days back. Does Lori not realize that a lot of times women don't get a sweet deal out of a divorce either? Some men won't pay child support etc... 

Lori acts like the woman gets all the man's money and he is left nearly on the street. That's not how it works.  I've known women who have struggled and been nearly evicted after divorce. However, most couples I've known who divorced already had heir own jobs. They sold the home, split the profit, and moved on. I've never seen a case where the woman was living the high life while her ex was out on the street because she took all his money.

I've never been through a divorce,  but I would assume judges try to be fair. 

Yes, Judges try to be fair*. Some ex-spouses (male or female) are assholes and can cover up their assholiness as long as they are in front of a Judge. With that being said, I have never seen where a woman is living high off the hog while the ex is homeless or living in a place far lower than what the marital home. I have seen ex's in smaller places but usually it is by choice or other factors going on (bad financial decisions, substance abuse, excuse not to have the kids, etc). 

*I have worked in child support for the last 16 years. 

[Imrlgoddess]

I'm sorry, I've searched and searched for the GMA link someone put up a few days ago.  I didn't get a chance to watch it all the way through and now it won't come up on Google or anything.  Will someone help me out please?  TIA  

[quiversR4hunting]

9 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I'm sorry, I've searched and searched for the GMA link someone put up a few days ago.  I didn't get a chance to watch it all the way through and now it won't come up on Google or anything.  Will someone help me out please?  TIA  

I am having the same issue. 

[Hane]

@Imrlgoddess, exactly. My first husband and I had practically nothing when we split up, so our entire alimony, custody, and child support agreement was “$1/year alimony [which we used to joke about], $#/week child support, and visitation as convenient to both parties.” It worked very well. With my second, as I’d become vested in my company’s retirement plan the year we got married and he changed jobs frequently, I wound up with a QDRO that awarded him over $35,000 of my retirement account. Thank God we had no kids together, so I never had to see him again.

[wallysmommy]

I never use this word but John Macgregor II is a twat. 

[Loveday]

50 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

I never use this word but John Macgregor II is a twat. 

And that's putting it mildly. He makes Trey and Dave seem like such nice, reasonable guys. 

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, wallysmommy said:

I never use this word but John Macgregor II is a twat. 

John MacGregor inspires me to use a lot of words I wouldn't normally choose.  He's the one who went after Prudently At Home on TTW FB page, Lori deleted some of her comments, but left his for all to see.  

[ladyicantxplain]

I had to block Johnny Mac the Second.

Total asshat.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Here is my response to her post today. 

https://thingsgodlywomensay.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/equal-work-equal-respect/

[Briefly]

Her post has now been picked up by George Takei's facebook page.  The debt-free-tattoo-free-virgins was also on his page.  I suspect that several of us "may" have commented on his facebook page recently.

11 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

So I've been thinking about the post on divorce a few days back. Does Lori not realize that a lot of times women don't get a sweet deal out of a divorce either? Some men won't pay child support etc... 

Lori acts like the woman gets all the man's money and he is left nearly on the street. That's not how it works.  I've known women who have struggled and been nearly evicted after divorce. However, most couples I've known who divorced already had heir own jobs. They sold the home, split the profit, and moved on. I've never seen a case where the woman was living the high life while her ex was out on the street because she took all his money.

I've never been through a divorce,  but I would assume judges try to be fair. 

I would love to see a conversation with her and Mr. Briefly's mom!  I'm sure that Mr. Briefly's mom would give her a serious case of what we Texan Women are known for (she's also a redhead and we are a whole lot of fun - not - when we're riled!).  Mr. Briefly's dad basically abandoned them because he didn't want to pay child support.  He was gone for years and years, she did the best she could to keep them fed and sheltered and it was no where near what the really needed.  I'm not judging her, she worked her behind off to support them.  But it was very hard for her and for/on them.

[Lgirlrocks]