Lori Alexander 59: The Oracle of California

[louisa05]

My brother got a girlfriend pregnant in 1994. She told him she didn't want him involved. He went to court to get visitation and arrange child support himself. He paid his child support until the kid was 19. He paid for all the kid's shoes over the years. He paid for all of the school clothes and school supplies every year. He paid for all the transportation for visitation after she moved out of state, even though the custody agreement specified that if one party moved outside of a certain radius, that one would be responsible for paying for transportation. My brother paid for sports league fees, taekwondo classes, music lessons, and school fees when the mother wanted him to go to a boarding school. When they all three decided it would be better for the kid to attend college in this state, where public colleges are very low priced for residents, and that he would be better served for scholarships by graduating high school here, the kid came to live with my brother for his senior year. BUT instead of rewriting the custody agreement for one year because she refused, he ended up paying child support for that year while the kid lived with him and for the kid's first semester of college until he turned 19 (while he paid for college, too). 

Not all men are assholes who try not to do right by their kids. 

[quiversR4hunting]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

She's bragging about her book again.  She got a 5 star review, ya'll!  Of course it doesn't negate the SHIT TON of 1 star reviews, but so what?

Which one is she talking about? The most recent 5-star review on amazon is this: 

For once I agree with one of her 5-star reviews! 

Edit - found the review. she referenced "Rohinz" that person left the review on March 4, 2018!

Let's see, it's the 12th month - minus 3 (march is the 3rd Month) = that was 9 months ago!!

[SuperNova]

@louisa05 good on your brother. My idiot brother has a daughter that he has nothing to do with by choice. I've heard various excuses over the years as to why he's not in her life (always blaming mom, of course) but it's all b.s.. Brother has always paid child support but resented every dime and had a party for himself the day she turned 18 because that meant payments were done with. He has a second child, who's also an adult now, that he did raise and resented the child support for him as well because he felt that mom wasn't spending it to his liking. This is the same brother that has a mail order bride. Needless to say that we aren't close.

[quiversR4hunting]

Because I can't seem to let this go - here is a screenshot of the review she mentions and the subsequent 3 comments on the review:

[Koala]

A study in contradictions, that one.

Yesterday:

So yesterday, Lori advised a reader to consider opening a home daycare- after prayer, of course.  This implies that the Lord might actually approve of a daycare.  Okay.  

Today (via Lori's Instagram):

So which is it?  Does God want women to run daycares so that they can stay home, or are daycares places in which no child should be left?  It's like saying, "No one should EVER drink, but maybe you should pray about opening a bar to make some extra money!"  How do those two things go together?!

I won't lie- daycare wasn't something I would have considered.  I was a sahm, and that was the best choice for my family.   I did not, however, judge working moms who did put their kids in daycare.

Why?  Not my family, not my kid, not my business.  How am I to know what works best for another family?!  As long as the kid is loved and cared for, I find it best to stay right the hell out of it.

 

[ladyicantxplain]

This "just do childcare" thing INFURIATES me!

How dare she?  Has she ever "just opened a Day Care?"  

Even if it wasn't a study in irony, and contradiction, you don't just "open a Day Care."  Where I live, it is against the lease to do any child care for money in my rental town-home.  Others have been given eviction notices for even trying it.  I cannot possibly be the only one this has happened to, and many of Lori's readers rent and do not own their homes.  The liability risk is simply too great for the Landlord; I don't blame them at all!

However, even if I was permitted to "open a Day Care" in my rental town-home, I have four children under the age of ten.  I can keep ONE, count them, ONE additional child without getting State licensing (in my state).  So, there's that: what exactly am I going to bring in weekly keeping ONE child?  Without licensing, many moms are unwilling to even use a provider.  Not to mention, the provider is on their own buying the food for the child, since without the license the food cannot be reimbursed by the State.  It is a recipe for time theft and money theft from the mama trying to "just open a Day Care".

Once, because my husband was an total asshat, he demanded that I work (while he sat home and played video games and slept and drank, after getting fired.)  I was 110% fundie at the time, so I obliged. I got a job as a child care giver for a very highly paid professional woman and her husband who worked out of town. I drove my two kids to her house, while pregnant, and cared for her three kids.  It was AWFUL.  I hated it. My kids hated it. Her kids hated most of it, towards the end, because a pregnant woman with a nursling and a toddler has no business caring for an infant of another mother, and two preschoolers.  Craziness. My home was craziness and I was emotionally and physically exhausted beyond anything I've ever experienced prior or since.  In retrospect, I should have told Mister to go fuck himself.  But that's another story.

Women who have "JUST OPENED A DAY CARE" have written me for mentoring, after trying it the ALCR way.  They all say the same thing: I want to quit this, but my husband wants the money. But he complains about no sex because I'm so tired. He complains about the house being so disgusting and the hours. But he won't let me quit this!

The money is all under-the-table; the men don't pay taxes. This puts the woman in a terrible situation, having to lie for her family and husband. I suppose that is okay, since "he's the leader" - I suppose they can just tell that to the IRS?  Maybe the IRS will buy that bullshit...

A WOMAN CANNOT JUST OPEN A DAYCARE.

It's an enormous financial and emotional BUSINESS decision that both she and her husband make TOGETHER, counting the cost of such a choice.  Other families will be impacted dramatically if they don't choose wisely.

Lori needs to grow up.  Immediately.  

[delphinium65]

4 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Even if it wasn't a study in irony, and contradiction, you don't just "open a Day Care."  Where I live, it is against the lease to do any child care for money in my rental town-home.  Others have been given eviction notices for even trying it.  I cannot possibly be the only one this has happened to, and many of Lori's readers rent and do not own their homes.  The liability risk is simply too great for the Landlord; I don't blame them at all!

Have any of her FB followers asked her that point-blank?  Has she ever told any of them outright to disregard lease requirements, and even the law, and open a daycare anyway?  

[SongRed7]

One that occurred to me about Lori's posts over the past few days, are the passive-aggressive way she is disagreeing with Ken.  And this isn't the first instance.  It seems every time Ken comes in for some PR damage control (the last time was the pinned FB post following the Debt Free Virgins with out Tattoos) and tries to make Lori look all reasonable (Lori is OK with working women! She understands some women need to work! She is kind and loving!) she replies with several days of hard hitting posts, IG memes, etc....proving/saying just the opposite, more entrenched in her position than ever.  It's almost if, she wants Ken to come to her rescue but then she has to prove he in no way speaks for her. 

For all her "criticism doesn't steal my joy, no way!"  she uses every opportunity to beat a million dead horses into the ground. She can't let anything go ever.  Not from her detractors and not from her husband.   

 

 

[ladyicantxplain]

17 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Once, because my husband was an total asshat, he demanded that I work (while he sat home and played video games and slept and drank, after getting fired.)  I was 110% fundie at the time, so I obliged. I got a job as a child care giver for a very highly paid professional woman and her husband who worked out of town. I drove my two kids to her house, while pregnant, and cared for her three kids.  It was AWFUL.  I hated it. My kids hated it. Her kids hated most of it, towards the end, because a pregnant woman with a nursling and a toddler has no business caring for an infant of another mother, and two preschoolers.  Craziness. My home was craziness and I was emotionally and physically exhausted beyond anything I've ever experienced prior or since.  In retrospect, I should have told Mister to go fuck himself.  But that's another story.

I should've clarified: the reason I wrote this wasn't to roast my husband, but rather to say that the very things Lori says will happen to the woman working WITHOUT her children happened while I was working WITH my children!  Bottom line: child care as a career choice is hard.  And a serious decision/commitment.  Not some thing to "just go do" because "you've gotta' be with your own kids".  This is not a decision to be taken lightly. In my own situation, I couldn't leave my kids with their dad, because he was drinking and irresponsible: they would not have been safe. I couldn't put them in daycare, because I couldn't afford it on my earnings.  I couldn't get child care subsidies because I was married to him and disqualified.  The whole things was a train wreck.  And believe me when I say, there are some Lori followers that have been in very similar situations.  I suppose doing child care like I did would work for a short while for a woman with only one child or two, keeping only one child or two, in another wealthy person's home (like a nanny). But this person would need to pay a LOT to keep that widow/single mama afloat permanently.

 

[Imrlgoddess]

I don't think they care about taxes or legality, they hate the government involvement anyway so this is another argument to keep evil Uncle Sam out of the pocket.  I'm curious as to why she throws this out as an option anyway given that she detests the idea of a working woman.  Basically she's saying it's totally fine for a woman to earn money off the back of someone who they believe to be "unworthy".  Let the "unbeliever" go work but you keep her children and take her money every week.  You are being righteous in your at home endeavor while she's being a harlot under another master.  The double standard is slaying me right now.  

The comment that got me in the Ashley thread....this bastard can suuuuccckk iiiitt!!! He really tells this woman that she should have just stayed with the abuser and dealt with it another way.  Leaving isn't an option.  How sick can these people really be????

Spoiler

 

[ladyicantxplain]

7 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

How sick can these people really be????

Ahhhh...Mr. Coffee...another asshat I had to block.

These people are one catastrophe away from a complete overhaul of their theology.  I'm not prophesying it, because I don't wish anything bad on anyone (no matter how sick their mind may be currently).  But he's too comfortable, and Ashley even called him out on it. Somehow he thinks his "blessed" life is the result of HIS "righteous choices"...and he's wrong.  IF he is a Christian, and actually believes the Bible (I'm learning there are lots of Christians who have no idea what it says), he would be familiar with the scriptures that say, "God is no respecter of persons" and "He causes the rain (blessings) to fall on both the just and unjust".

EVERYTHING God has accomplished for us by Jesus Christ is through GRACE alone.

I despise religion.  More than anything, I think.

[delphinium65]

10 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I don't think they care about taxes or legality, they hate the government involvement anyway so this is another argument to keep evil Uncle Sam out of the pocket. 

That's what I think, but if anyone can document a clear statement from Lori about ignoring lease agreements or local laws...well, I'd be very interested to see evidence of what we're already pretty sure about. 

[EowynW]

My grandma ran a very successful (and legal) home daycare for years. That job is not due the faint of heart. 

[freealljs]

I believe that Lori is using the term "daycare" differently in the comments.  In one, she has the idea of daycare as more babysitting throughout the day. But, in the other comment, she means an actual daycare facility, with cold heartless ebil feminists watching their babies and toddlers and turning their young fragile minds away from Jesus and dropping raisans on the floor.  

[klein_roeschen]

18 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I don't think they care about taxes or legality, they hate the government involvement anyway so this is another argument to keep evil Uncle Sam out of the pocket.  I'm curious as to why she throws this out as an option anyway given that she detests the idea of a working woman.  Basically she's saying it's totally fine for a woman to earn money off the back of someone who they believe to be "unworthy".  Let the "unbeliever" go work but you keep her children and take her money every week.  You are being righteous in your at home endeavor while she's being a harlot under another master.  The double standard is slaying me right now.  

The comment that got me in the Ashley thread....this bastard can suuuuccckk iiiitt!!! He really tells this woman that she should have just stayed with the abuser and dealt with it another way.  Leaving isn't an option.  How sick can these people really be????

  Hide contents

 

Seems that most of Lori's fanboys think that with the "I Do" at the wedding, the women sign their bodies, minds and souls, every right as a free person and their right to end the marriage, no matter what circumstances, over to their new owners.

[feministxtian]

When we had the grandgirls, they went to daycare. They were in a licensed in-home daycare and they got SPOILED ROTTEN!! Their sitter and I worked together to potty train the little one. They loved going to Ms, K's...lots of kids to play with, structured time and pre-school type activities. They were ready for school after their time with Ms. K was over. Then they went to a before/after school program at their schools, again with meals, snacks, structured play time, homework time. It didn't kill them. It was nice going to pick up kids who were a bit worn out, not screamingly hungry, homework done. We got home around 5-ish, plenty of time to enjoy life before bedtime at 8. Ms. K and I worked as a team with the girls...the rules were consistent both places. I definitely do not think they suffered one bit. 
I was "raised" by a SAHM who made it clear she was NOT one whit interested in interacting with me on any level. I'd get jerked out of bed in the morning, screamed at to get ready, then out the door. Coming home wasn't any better, screamed at to "get your damn homework done", "get your shit off the table so I can serve dinner", yeah, fuck that noise. That bitch did more damage to me than even the worst day care could have done. 

[SongRed7]

2 hours ago, EowynW said:

My grandma ran a very successful (and legal) home daycare for years. That job is not due the faint of heart. 

I have a couple of neighbors who do this.  Very, very hard job. And its takes away some of the flexibility of being a SAHM (you can't just run errands, go to school events, plan doctors office visits during the day, because of the responsibilities of having many small kids with you, etc.) And if you are not feeling well, you still have to take in those children because people are counting on you.  If  you just cancel on people all the time, you will no longer be in business.

Bottom line: being a SAHM is hard, running a home business is hard, being a working mom is hard.  But all have their pros and cons.  BEING  A MOM is hard, being a HUMAN is hard.  Too bad some women can't support other women in their choices/life paths, etc...Lori has no clue about ANYTHING.  

[Alisamer]

46 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

I have a couple of neighbors who do this.  Very, very hard job. And its takes away some of the flexibility of being a SAHM (you can't just run errands, go to school events, plan doctors office visits during the day, because of the responsibilities of having many small kids with you, etc.) And if you are not feeling well, you still have to take in those children because people are counting on you.  If  you just cancel on people all the time, you will no longer be in business.

Bottom line: being a SAHM is hard, running a home business is hard, being a working mom is hard.  But all have their pros and cons.  BEING  A MOM is hard, being a HUMAN is hard.  Too bad some women can't support other women in their choices/life paths, etc...Lori has no clue about ANYTHING.  

TRUTH. I worked at two different daycare centers while I was in college. I personally loved it, but it was not under any circumstances "easy". And it was much harder for the owners of the facilities (both women). There are regulations to follow, surprise inspections, parents who run late without calling, parents who can't/don't pay on time, etc. And that's on top of dealing with various children with various needs. As a reasonably energetic college kid, all I really had to do was follow the rules and do my best for the kids - but if you've got enough kids in care to make a living off of it, you'll probably need employees, and spend way more time on business logistics and financials than with the children. I got to feed and rock babies, read to toddlers, and do the fun stuff while the owner was chasing down late payments, planning the meals, purchasing the food, paying the utilities, etc. There was more than one Friday when parents coming in had to pay in cash so she could turn around and use it for payroll that same day.

Lori had a NANNY. For her own kids. And a housekeeper. She did little to no "keeping at home". She's a mean, hypocritical, lazy misogynist, and I can't understand why anyone would give her opinions any weight at all. 

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I don't think they care about taxes or legality, they hate the government involvement anyway so this is another argument to keep evil Uncle Sam out of the pocket.  I'm curious as to why she throws this out as an option anyway given that she detests the idea of a working woman.  Basically she's saying it's totally fine for a woman to earn money off the back of someone who they believe to be "unworthy".  Let the "unbeliever" go work but you keep her children and take her money every week.  You are being righteous in your at home endeavor while she's being a harlot under another master.  The double standard is slaying me right now.  

The comment that got me in the Ashley thread....this bastard can suuuuccckk iiiitt!!! He really tells this woman that she should have just stayed with the abuser and dealt with it another way.  Leaving isn't an option.  How sick can these people really be????

  Reveal hidden contents

 

This is what bugs me about her childcare suggestion.  I wish one of her fangirls would have the balls to call out the double standard. 

[delphinium65]

Again we have this asshole, and Lori allowing his comments to remain while she has deleted other remarks.  Lori (since we know you read here), I'm not buying your lame excuses for letting your fanboys verbally abuse your female followers. Try again.  

[TeddyBonkers]

@feministxtianthat is the type of "daycare" I got for the year before I started kindergarten. My mom went back to work and I went to Miss Vicki. I want to say that there were about a dozen of us kids in the basement (there were plenty of toys, so ehhh?) but absolutely no adult supervision. We could go upstairs for lunch and to use the bathroom, but that was IT.

Fun times.

[Sarah92]

My mom works at a head start, ran the infant-PreK child thing for church services at our old church,  and has watched kids quit a bit. A lot of my family members had worked in a school in some capacity. I'm a child counselor. So no working in a daycare but a heavy background of working with kids in my family. It's hard work and it's not something that's just easily done on the side for extra cash.  

Also with all these guys complaining about women filing for divorce first, I've noticed they've never really talked about why women often file first. From what I've seen in my office and have read up on, it's often because of the very thing Lori encourages: the man-child. Women become fed up with men who not only take no responsibility to improve the marriage and also don't seek to emotionally connect with their wives and family. People need emotional connection, it's a vital part of the human experience. So if a women (or anyone) doesn't feel like this need is being met, they don't feel the need to stick around. Couple that with abuse, cheating, and men often being okay with where the marriage is you have a recipe for higher rates of women filing. I had a therapist tell me that men are often content to watch their marriage burn while they pretend it's all okay, they won't go to marriage therapy. Of course, women sometimes do these things as well. Women aren't perfect after all.

[Lgirlrocks]

When my dad could no longer work god provided my mom with a full time job. We didn’t belong to a church that could pay our bills for us. We didn’t take vacations or have new cars. No cable and basic internet. That’s life. My mother made sure the house was kept in order while working a full and part time job. It was a lot. She had three older kids to help. My older brother was 19 at the time. I was 15. My younger brother was 11. We didn’t hate my mom or resent her for having to work. She didn’t need to stay at home. She needed to work to keep food on the table. God doesn’t provide money for people without someone working somewhere. The Bible says not one word about women working outside of the home but has a lot to say about being idle or lazy. If one parent can afford to stay home and they want to great. If one parent can afford to stay home and neither wants to the  great. 

[lilwriter85]

Lgirlrocks, thank you for getting those screenshots. 

[Koala]

I'm sorry, but is this supposed to be a joke?

Lori?  You wrote this a mere 83 days ago, in a post ironically titled, "Women Never Tell Lies":You disagreed with her, and your response was to take to your blog.  How is that ANY different than people disagreeing with you, and taking to your VERY OPEN Facebook page, to comment in your VERY OPEN comment section?

Still there, Lori?  Good.  Here's a post you wrote back in August.  Predictably, you were tearing apart another (more popular) woman:

Again, you read something you disagreed with, and then ran around all over the internet, telling anyone who would listen (including your daughter-in-law's friends).  Yeah, you deleted it.  Yeah, we've got the screen shots.  The internet= forever. 

In the same post you wrote:

Are you seeing a theme here, Lori?  Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon one with you.

Step 1:  You're overcome with pure, seething jealousy.

Step 2: You take to your blog to "verbally tear them apart" as you put it.

Remember Sarah Young?  How many posts have you done about her?

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/11/beware-of-jesus-calling.html

How many times have you wandered over to To Love Honor and Vacuum to disrupt her comment section.  She literally banned you to keep you from arguing ENDLESSLY with her readers.

Another?  How about Peaceful Wife?  You know, the one with 2 books that BOTH have 5 star reviews.

Her readers practically ran you off her blog, because you loved nothing more than to stir contention in the comments.  

So don't bother lying to your readers, because if they even have a fraction of a brain, they know you are lying through your teeth.

PS- 

I get that the MRAs have your ear at the moment, but honestly?  This just makes you look even sillier than usual.  Satan's agents?  ?  Lady, I can't even...