Dillards 67: It Came From A Can

[VelociRapture]

52 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I know I'm not an expert on this in any way, shape or form, but I often wonder if people who dislike the Duggars/Bates, etc  think brainwashing is something you get over the minute you marry or whatever, and leave your parents house.

I don't think watching a few episodes of The Crown is going to set you straight, that might take many, many years (or may never happen at all).

I've said this before (but not in relation to the older Duggar children), that in some cases we are talking about people who literally had any ability to think for themselves beaten out of them.

I may not like their religious beliefs, or how they try to force them on others, but I can  honestly say I don't hate any of these people.  How could I?  I don't actually know them and in some cases have empathy for them*

Not for JRod, she drives me crazy. (Which I do feel conflicted about)

*and no, this does not make me a leg humper.

I don’t think it’s something easy for many people to get past. I think the stories many people have shared here about the impact of their own childhood traumas should be enough to convince most people that abuse of any kind can be an extremely difficult thing to cope with and can leave a multitude of lasting effects. I don’t really hate any of these second geners, though I definitely dislike some more than others and I do find I have different amounts of sympathy for them all. 

While I think we should try to remember that hey are victims themselves, I do also think that these second geners need to start being held responsible for their actions/decisions/beliefs when they start marrying and (especially) when they start having children of their own. Bringing an innocent child into the picture does change things a bit for me because the power dynamics are now flipped - the person I once viewed solely as a victim now has the potential to become an abuser themself, though I will always hope that won’t be the case.  

Its a very complex topic and one that I think most people will have their own unique take on. 

ETA: Again, bolding to emphasize that I am in no way speaking in definitive statements.

[Hashtag Blessed]

I don't know about y'all, but I'm perfectly capable of feeling empathy for Jill while simultaneously being disgusted by her. Part of the reason I critique her so hard his because she seems so stifled and desperate. I genuinely feel sad for her that she wasn't allowed to pursue a legitimate career in medicine. I also am genuinely repulsed by her beliefs and the fact that she's raising two boys to share them. The last thing this world needs is more little white boys with sexist and racist beliefs. I also loathe OfJill. Every time she praises him as the #besthubbyevar for deigning to look at his own children for a moment, I feel both pity and revulsion for her. 

To me, the video didn't seem especially dangerous. Just overlong, boring and stilted. Seriously, 4+ minutes of a kid eating banana? I won't even watch a baby goat videos for that long! And those are WAY cuter. If she's gonna do this mommy-blogger-on-YouTube thing, she really needs to learn how to edit. But I suppose she wouldn't even know where to start. Would she even know how to search for tutorials or helpful tips? It doesn't seem like many of the Duggar kids learned how to self-educate in that way. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Jill has a new Twitter/Instagram post. I saw it first as text only on Twitter. Jill said, “Did the whole, “try to keep your kids busy in a shopping cart for a couple hours while you wait for an oil change”! Who can identify?” Not me, and hopefully no one else. Then I looked at Instagram. She took the boys to Walmart. Just another awkwardly presented boring day in the lives of the Dillards.

[Maggie Mae]

Just now, QuiverFullofBooks said:

“Did the whole, “try to keep your kids busy in a shopping cart for a couple hours while you wait for an oil change”! Who can identify?” 

I've never waited for an oil change in my life. I just drop off my car and go to work, and get it later. Is this normal? How long do people usually end up waiting?  That sounds SO boring. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, SamiKatz said:

I know I'm not an expert on this in any way, shape or form, but I often wonder if people who dislike the Duggars/Bates, etc  think brainwashing is something you get over the minute you marry or whatever, and leave your parents house.

I don't think watching a few episodes of The Crown is going to set you straight, that might take many, many years (or may never happen at all).

I've said this before (but not in relation to the older Duggar children), that in some cases we are talking about people who literally had any ability to think for themselves beaten out of them.

I may not like their religious beliefs, or how they try to force them on others, but I can  honestly say I don't hate any of these people.  How could I?  I don't actually know them and in some cases have empathy for them*

Not for JRod, she drives me crazy. (Which I do feel conflicted about)

*and no, this does not make me a leg humper.

Well...life isn't easy and neurotypical people who make adult decisions have to eventually be held accountable for their decisions, behaviors, words and beliefs. Is it hard? Yes. Is it reality? Yes. Once you have a child and continue down the same horrible path that your parents travelled with you, I think you need to be held accountable. If the realities of the real world are too rough for you*, maybe you should delay procreation until you are on more stable footing. These folks (adults) enjoy all the freedoms and rights that the rest of us do. They get to vote. No kid gloves, sorry-

* generic you.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 minute ago, Maggie Mae said:

I've never waited for an oil change in my life. I just drop off my car and go to work, and get it later. Is this normal? How long do people usually end up waiting?  That sounds SO boring. 

I stay in my car while they do it. I think most places don’t want you to leave. If I were a SAHM, I would go during the work day and expect immediate service. I wonder if Jill expects her brothers to change her oil for free, and they understandably get to it when they get to it.

[Rachel333]

31 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Jill has a new Twitter/Instagram post. I saw it first as text only on Twitter. Jill said, “Did the whole, “try to keep your kids busy in a shopping cart for a couple hours while you wait for an oil change”! Who can identify?” Not me, and hopefully no one else. Then I looked at Instagram. She took the boys to Walmart. Just another awkwardly presented boring day in the lives of the Dillards.

I remember my mom doing this when I was a kid. She'd get the oil changed at Wal-Mart and we'd wait in the store until it was done. I assume Jill was doing the same thing.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

17 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

I remember my mom doing this when I was a kid. She'd get the oil changed at Wal-Mart and we'd wait in the store until it was done. I assume Jill was doing the same thing.

Oh, that hadn’t occurred to me. Walmart doesn’t have auto services in my area.

[Rachel333]

6 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Oh, that hadn’t occurred to me. Walmart doesn’t have auto services in my area.

Yep! It looks like about half of Walmarts in the country have auto services.

[Cheetah]

We have the oil change place where you just stay in the car and drive in over the service area and they bring you coffee or sodas.  I did that a few times when my kids were too little for preschool (ahem... PRESCHOOL....LOL... that's what that's for ? ). Now I just drop the car at the place that's about a mile from my house and walk home until it's ready, then walk back.   Did that today.. hubby is out of town so kids took his car to school, I took their car and the dog to the shop and walked the dog back home.  

[Rachel333]

On a different note, I noticed that I now have a facebook friend in common with Derick. It makes sense because that facebook friend is a law student at the UofA, but it's funny to me since that person is a very outspoken and politically active Democrat.

[viii]

4 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

You’re right, I’m sorry. It just makes me so upset to see people perpetuating the cult on their children.

It’s okay, I get it. They are beyond frustrating and it’s upsetting to see the vicious cycle be repeated on innocent children. 

However, I just know how the other side of the fence feels, and it’s not always so easy. 

PS speaking of cooking from a can, an older lady tried to pass on a “delicious” recipe to me. She baked a stuffed frozen chicken breast (stuffed with ham and cheese) and then poured a can of cream of celery soup over it and tried telling me it was chicken cordon bleu. BLEEEECH. 

[PennySycamore]

I get my oil changed at the dealership.  It's more expensive, but they use a better grade of oil than Jiffy Lube would.  They also have snacks and a comfy waiting room with a big TV.  They also have all those beautiful new cars to look at.  My MINI's due for its 100K oil service.

@Cheetah,  I love how you worked a dog walk into getting your oil changed.

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

8 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

I get my oil changed at the dealership.  It's more expensive, but they use a better grade of oil than Jiffy Lube would.  They also have snacks and a comfy waiting room with a big TV.  They also have all those beautiful new cars to look at.  My MINI's due for its 100K oil service.

@Cheetah,  I love how you worked a dog walk into getting your oil changed.

 

I get my oil changed at the dealership too - it costs exactly the same as JiffyLube or Walmart would, plus I get Ford-trained guys working on my car. My (synthetic) oil change always includes a tire rotation/air added, and all fluids topped up. I also get to sit and watch them work on my car, which I appreciate very much.

Added bonus? The service guys LOVE my car and drool over it every time. lol

[Cheetah]

20 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

I get my oil changed at the dealership.  It's more expensive, but they use a better grade of oil than Jiffy Lube would.  They also have snacks and a comfy waiting room with a big TV.  They also have all those beautiful new cars to look at.  My MINI's due for its 100K oil service.

@Cheetah,  I love how you worked a dog walk into getting your oil changed.

 

I also played Pokemon Go all the way home ;-).  

[SilverBeach]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I may not like their religious beliefs, or how they try to force them on others, but I can  honestly say I don't hate any of these people.

 

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

3 hours ago, SamiKatz said:

 

I may not like their religious beliefs, or how they try to force them on others, but I can  honestly say I don't hate any of these people.  How could I?  I don't actually know them and in some cases have empathy for them*

I never said I hated anybody except Lori Alexander because she hurts people.  And I cannot stand JRod because she is a narrow minded toxic narcissist. I don't actually know Donald Trump but I hate him. We only know what people choose to put out there about themselves and it is not wrong to judge them based on that information. People forget that the folks they are busy having empathy for support the likes of Trump and have a theocratic agenda. As a minority, I cannot afford to have empathy for those who would oppress me.

Lots and lots of people have horrible upbringings and live in terrible situations, such as many inner city youth who not only are poor but are subject to substandard schools and lack of job opportunities. But black people, especially black boys and men,  will never receive the same empathy as shiny white women with long hair, cute babies, and pretty weddings!

The Duggar forum skews sympathetic, to the females in particular. I do have sympathy for the molestation victims, having been molested myself, no child should have that happen to them. But we all are accountable for our own behavior at some point, despite our upbringing. This goes for the Duggar women too.  Maybe being black colors my opinion somewhat, no pun intended.

Sorry for the crazy quoting, which is actually attributable to SamiKatz.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I've never waited for an oil change in my life. I just drop off my car and go to work, and get it later. Is this normal? How long do people usually end up waiting?  That sounds SO boring. 

It takes 10 minutes.  I go in, get out of the car and goof off on my phone and inside of 15 minutes I'm driving off.  

 

[sleepy_doggos]

I saw yesterday that my mother unironically follows Jill on Instagram. [emoji19][emoji53][emoji51]

For anyone who is wondering about her audience, it's at least 1 white educated middle-aged evangelical Trump-defending black-and-white thinking woman.

 

 

[SorenaJ]

Does Walmart not have a crèche? Or a play-area?

Okay, so according to google, crèche is a British word, but like, a day care place while the parents do their shopping? I know some gyms and malls have them and you drop the kids off for an hour, or a couple of hours, as a one-off thing. Would be ideal to have at Walmart if parents have to wait 2 hours for an oil change. 

[AstridM]

18 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

But it would never have been, nor will it ever be. Jessa's not dumb enough to post anything like this.

What about her post with all of the dirty diapers in a pile?

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

26 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Does Walmart not have a crèche? Or a play-area?

Not in my experience. Only one chain of stores in my valley has a play area, where smaller kids can play while their parents shop. They also have a small selection of fruits that kids can choose a piece for free to snack on as they shop. (My kids have been too big for the playland for a few years, but they love to get an apple or an orange to eat while we shop.)

That chain of stores is called Fred Meyer, and it has better customer service than Walmart, but almost everything there costs more than at Walmart. They also don't have a car service department, so no oil changes, either. Walmart tends to go for less helpful touches for their customers, but lower prices and a huge store that sells almost everything.

[Iamtheway]

Miniway demanded we go shopping the other day so that he could play in the play area at the grocery store. They have a room with toys and crafts and someone keeping an eye at the kids. You can leave them for one hour and Miniway loves it. He sees it as a treat. I tried to shop as slowly as I could and even met a friend and chatted with her for a while but he was still angry I was too quick.

Pretty smart idea for the shop actually. We’ve done it at Ikea as well. And I’m sure you shop more when you can focus on it and have two free hand to pick up an extra pack of candles with. ?️?

I do have a friend that went to Ikea for coffee when she had a toddler and a baby. The toddler got to play in the play room and she had a break in the café while the baby took a nap. 

[Daisy0322]

2 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Does Walmart not have a crèche? Or a play-area?

Okay, so according to google, crèche is a British word, but like, a day care place while the parents do their shopping? I know some gyms and malls have them and you drop the kids off for an hour, or a couple of hours, as a one-off thing. Would be ideal to have at Walmart if parents have to wait 2 hours for an oil change. 

Haha you should see a Walmart and you probably wouldn't  have to ask... I go there because it's close to my house but I swear I've never been there and not seen a domestic disturbance of some sort... if they had child care I'm sure it'd be a shit show that no sane person would leave thier children at. However hearing things like this makes me want to move  to Europe 

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, AstridM said:

What about her post with all of the dirty diapers in a pile?

She pointed that out in a later response as a counter to my claim that Jill gets criticized for extremely minor things in a way her sisters don’t. 

[Rachel333]

Last time I went to Walmart there were multiple very young children left alone in shopping carts literally screaming. I did see a mother come back to one of them and hand the baby a bag of cheetos she took off the shelf and opened. Then in the parking lot I saw a car covered in Trump decorations (mostly painted on) and what I think was an attempt to spell "Aryan Pride."

So no, there's no crèche! I've never seen a store anywhere with one, actually.