Lori Alexander 50: Making an Idol of Herself

[Alisamer]

19 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Well, I don't know. Deeply embedded in another reader's rambling comment in that same post was this gem: "Most healthy meals cost nothing." 

We are clearly living on different planets from these people. 

Wow, really? No, healthy meals DON'T cost nothing, unless they're hitting up a soup kitchen or something and even then somebody's paying for it even if they aren't.

Water isn't even free. You either pay for city water, pay for electricity to run a water pump, or hand pump it yourself which costs time and energy. Plants don't grow without tending and watering, especially food crops. They have to be harvested, cleaned and prepared. Nothing is free. That feels really cynical to say, but it's true. I doubt these people are living off-grid in the woods foraging for berries to survive. Everything costs something at some point.

[Marly]

Reading about one-income households and questions of how those people are able to make ends meet, I was wondering, is there a system in place in the US that provides parents with childcare benefits? In the Netherlands, parents get money from the government to support their kids. I think I can best describe it as child support from the government. The amount is income-dependent, but even well-off parents receive this monetary support. And it runs until the child turns 18.
I know that there was a political discussion in my country a couple of years ago, because right-wing parties wanted to limit the child support to a maximum of three children per household.* (So, a family of two would receive child support for both those children, but a family of four would only receive money for three. ) I know that the fundamentalist Christian party was very much opposed to this proposition, because, and this was also their official statement, this would seriously interfere with the strongly held beliefs of many large, Christian families that the man is to provide and the woman is to stay at home and take care of the kids. They argued that this child support proposal was biased towards two-income families, and that was unfair towards families who chose to be one-income because of their religious beliefs.
I don't know if this proposal got enough support in the end or not, but I do know that more rules and restrictions were placed on the governmental child support system.
Anyway, this whole discussion about Lori advocating one-income families made me think about this governmental child support thing, because I know that for most Dutch fundamentalist one-income families this support does help them out financially. (I do want to state that the amount of money per kid is not that much. You can't pay daycare with it, but you can use it to feed and clothe your child, be it on a budget.)


*They mainly wanted to do this because they were afraid that "the Muslims" would "outbreed" "the Dutch". Very problematic, and I'm ashamed to say that public support for this party has only been increasing over the last couple of years.

[HoneyBunny]

7 minutes ago, Marly said:

Reading about one-income households and questions of how those people are able to make ends meet, I was wondering, is there a system in place in the US that provides parents with childcare benefits? In the Netherlands, parents get money from the government to support their kids. I think I can best describe it as child support from the government. The amount is income-dependent, but even well-off parents receive this monetary support. And it runs until the child turns 18.
I know that there was a political discussion in my country a couple of years ago, because right-wing parties wanted to limit the child support to a maximum of three children per household.* (So, a family of two would receive child support for both those children, but a family of four would only receive money for three. ) I know that the fundamentalist Christian party was very much opposed to this proposition, because, and this was also their official statement, this would seriously interfere with the strongly held beliefs of many large, Christian families that the man is to provide and the woman is to stay at home and take care of the kids. They argued that this child support proposal was biased towards two-income families, and that was unfair towards families who chose to be one-income because of their religious beliefs.
I don't know if this proposal got enough support in the end or not, but I do know that more rules and restrictions were placed on the governmental child support system.
Anyway, this whole discussion about Lori advocating one-income families made me think about this governmental child support thing, because I know that for most Dutch fundamentalist one-income families this support does help them out financially. (I do want to state that the amount of money per kid is not that much. You can't pay daycare with it, but you can use it to feed and clothe your child, be it on a budget.)


*They mainly wanted to do this because they were afraid that "the Muslims" would "outbreed" "the Dutch". Very problematic, and I'm ashamed to say that public support for this party has only been increasing over the last couple of years.

That’s very interesting. In the US, the right wing conservatives and the Christian Fundamentalists got in bed together 40 years ago, and that single move, I believe, threatens our democracy. Conservatives of 69 years ago would not recognize the Republican party today and we are much worse off because of it. 

Lindy’s comments about the Lord will provide or else you die for him make me ragey. I only hope that these pro-birth people will someday have to atone for being so mind-bogglingly cruel to people after they’re born. A huge percentage of bankruptcies in the US are medical bankruptcies. My heart hurts for people who face what I did last year (breast cancer) and then have to worry about paying for treatment. Or who don’t find out until it’s too late that they even have an issue because they don’t have insurance. What many of Lazy Lori’s fans don’t understand is that getting good health insurance is the biggest determinant of your future standard of living. And sometimes it takes two people working to get that insurance. 

A Go Fund Me campaign is NOT health insurance.

[pandorasjen]

I just have to chime in on the poverty olympics that Lori and her followers seem to be having. 

I stay home with my kids and I homeschool them. I am extremely lucky to be able to stay home. I also feel extremely blessed. Not #blessed like these women. I really feel grateful that I get to be with my kids every day. 

We are also in a position of extreme privilege. My in laws bought the house we live in. We are renting to own. They were able to do this because they are well to do. They bought the house literally months before the housing in the town I live in jumped up in price. This house was 56000. Now you can’t find a house for less than 120,000. 

Its really hard some months though. Usually toward the end of the year. Four out of our six birthdays in the family are between September and November. Plus all the holidays and scout stuff for 3 out of 4 boys. It’s a lot of worry and stress some years. My husband and I do our best but sometimes it’s scary. 

I have much more to say, but I think I’ll end it there. Don’t want to write a novel lol. 

[louisa05]

16 minutes ago, Marly said:

Reading about one-income households and questions of how those people are able to make ends meet, I was wondering, is there a system in place in the US that provides parents with childcare benefits? In the Netherlands, parents get money from the government to support their kids. I think I can best describe it as child support from the government. The amount is income-dependent, but even well-off parents receive this monetary support. And it runs until the child turns 18.
I know that there was a political discussion in my country a couple of years ago, because right-wing parties wanted to limit the child support to a maximum of three children per household.* (So, a family of two would receive child support for both those children, but a family of four would only receive money for three. ) I know that the fundamentalist Christian party was very much opposed to this proposition, because, and this was also their official statement, this would seriously interfere with the strongly held beliefs of many large, Christian families that the man is to provide and the woman is to stay at home and take care of the kids. They argued that this child support proposal was biased towards two-income families, and that was unfair towards families who chose to be one-income because of their religious beliefs.
I don't know if this proposal got enough support in the end or not, but I do know that more rules and restrictions were placed on the governmental child support system.
Anyway, this whole discussion about Lori advocating one-income families made me think about this governmental child support thing, because I know that for most Dutch fundamentalist one-income families this support does help them out financially. (I do want to state that the amount of money per kid is not that much. You can't pay daycare with it, but you can use it to feed and clothe your child, be it on a budget.)


*They mainly wanted to do this because they were afraid that "the Muslims" would "outbreed" "the Dutch". Very problematic, and I'm ashamed to say that public support for this party has only been increasing over the last couple of years.

There are income tax credits for dependent children. They are not enough to make much of a difference for most families. That's it. Low income families may be eligible for free or reduced cost breakfast and lunch at school for their kids, but the Republican Congress wants to either kill that funding or reduce it so way fewer families would be eligible. Some low income people may qualify for assistance for child care, but the experience of one of my relatives who qualified for a time was that it was hard to get a spot in a quality program that accepts it. In some states, low income families may qualify for health care benefits for their children, but the Republicans have also been gutting those programs. 

And, of course, there is no mandated paid maternity leave in this country and very few employers offer any. Schools, public and private, allow women to use banked sick leave. A lot of teachers I know can use a lot of banked leave for a first child, but only if they have been working for several years before a pregnancy. But after the first one, it will be gone and be harder to build up again plus they have to use sick leave during their pregnancy for appointments, etc... The most ridiculous thing is that many schools, including one that I sub in and the last one I worked full time in, have added paid paternity leave (only five days or so, though) but still offer no paid maternity leave. 

[EowynW]

59 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Wow, really? No, healthy meals DON'T cost nothing, unless they're hitting up a soup kitchen or something and even then somebody's paying for it even if they aren't.

Water isn't even free. You either pay for city water, pay for electricity to run a water pump, or hand pump it yourself which costs time and energy. Plants don't grow without tending and watering, especially food crops. They have to be harvested, cleaned and prepared. Nothing is free. That feels really cynical to say, but it's true. I doubt these people are living off-grid in the woods foraging for berries to survive. Everything costs something at some point.

Even my cheapest healthy meal is still about $6. I think we average 8-10 a dinner. But we always have leftovers. 

[delphinium65]

2 hours ago, Loveday said:

(Lindy) We trust God to keep His Word. We trust Him with His provision... And if in trusting Him we die, so be it.

I assume Lindy claims to be pro-life, but doesn't seem to give a damn once the kids are born.   

[Meeka]

Lindy's comment about medical insurance and dying is really bothering me today. My little nephew who is 4 months old is having surgery right at this minute on his heart. I live in a country that has socialized medicine so his parents can just concentrate on him and not have to worry about insurance, co-pays, deductiable etc. How a country adds such financial pressure to people who are going through much a hard time in their lives is mind boggling. I have a high paying job and the income tax that I pay is very high but as far as I see the government can take it to help others out with health needs. 

[PennySycamore]

The latest AARP magazine has an article titled "Broke From Cancer" about the financial devastation that cancer can cause.  My sister wore an Optune device on her head for some months to hopefully treat her brain cancer.  Her insurance may not have paid for a dime of the treatment because it's still considered experimental.  IIRC, the Optune device cost around $15,000 a month!  (Btw, my sister's tumors have shown continued regression and we hope that she's one of the long term survivors.)

From something I read years ago, the AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children) program in the US  was set up during the Depression just so that widows/single mothers with children would not have to struggle so much and might even be able to stay home with their children.  A certain segment of conservatives have been totally opposed to anything that approaches a social safety net since the 30s.  They'd like nothing better than our society to resemble Dickensian England.  

[Lisafer]

@pandorasjen I work part-time and homeschool, and we use family to watch the kids when I'm working, because we wouldn't be able to afford daycare. Raising kids in the U.S. is so hard sometimes! People where I live work two and three jobs just to live paycheck to paycheck and pay for childcare.  

[pandorasjen]

@Lisafer oh I know! I don’t have the skills to even make enough to pay for care for my four boys. My oldest is almost too old for daycare but I still wouldn’t be able to afford the other three. 

My best friend just got her youngest daughter into a preschool for free because her daughter was considered at risk for being two months beyond the cutoff for kindergarten. I celebrated with her so hard because I know how hard her and her husband work to be able to afford everything and how worried she was about affording care. I used to watch her oldest for her but I moved 45 minutes away from them. 

[louisa05]

10 minutes ago, Meeka said:

Lindy's comment about medical insurance and dying is really bothering me today. My little nephew who is 4 months old is having surgery right at this minute on his heart. I live in a country that has socialized medicine so his parents can just concentrate on him and not have to worry about insurance, co-pays, deductiable etc. How a country adds such financial pressure to people who are going through much a hard time in their lives is mind boggling. I have a high paying job and the income tax that I pay is very high but as far as I see the government can take it to help others out with health needs. 

Insurance costs us about $300 a month. We pay $25 co-pay for every visit to a general practitioner and $40 for a specialist. I'm not sure what our deductible is as my husband's employer changed to a new insurance plan as of last January and I never went through the stuff for it as husband did it since they had a big meeting explaining all the changes. 

I need to do allergy testing because of multiple medication allergies. While we can handle the $40 to see an allergist, I'm not sure we can pay for the actual testing as it will likely be out of pocket for us until the deductible is paid--our last policy that was $2000. I think this policy is a bit lower, fortunately, but we do not have an extra $1500 or more laying around, especially in summer. As a result, I have had to ask my mother if she will be able to loan us the money. If my mother was not able to help, I would likely have to just not do it. We are fortunate. People who do not have access to employer sponsored insurance typically have plans with way higher deductibles. A cousin had an ACA plan for awhile with a $5000 per person deductible. And the current Congress is gutting the ACA so that people who depend on that will have no insurance again soon enough. 

My mom had a cousin die from treatable cancer because of our health care system. He had moved from one state to another to be closer to his only sibling. His new job did not allow employees to get insurance until they had been there 90 days (husband's current job was the same--but we had coverage just long enough from his previous one due to a severance package and ended up uninsured for only 9 days). He was diagnosed during that 90 days. Once he was able to get insurance, his cancer was considered a pre-existing condition and not covered. 

Then there is the Medicare gap. My father-in-law was more or less forced to retire at 62. People can get Medicare, insurance via a government program at 65. This left him and my mother-in-law uninsured for three years. He ended up basically getting another full time job just so they could be insured. He will have to keep it at least until my MiL turns 65. 

And when my dad had cancer, I saw over and over again on a caregiver forum the insurance conundrum that hits many terminal cancer patients: if they are under 65 and not Medicare eligible and they and their family are insured through their employment, once they can no longer work due to the cancer, they lose insurance. If they are insured via a spouse's employment, they often lose coverage because the spouse is their caregiver and has to take unpaid leave and cannot afford premiums without their salary. 

It is a despicable system, quite frankly. 

[Frumper]

14 hours ago, Meeka said:

What irritates me where Lori and her ilk start talking about how when you add up what is costs for a woman to work outside the home that she ends up bringing home very little is that they are always making the assumption that the woman is making a fairly low wage. I make a good salary and when you add up what it costs me to work, I still bring home a substantial sum. They often mention the clothing that needs to be bought for work. I have a very casual workplace so my extra clothing costs are minimal. I don't think that women are generally spending thousands of dollars a year on work clothes unless they really love clothes and shopping and then wouldn't they still want the clothes if they weren't working. I know that daycare is very expensive but still there are many women, me included, where daycare is only a relatively small even if it is substantial portion of their income.

Definitely this.  Plus in my experience people that make this argument often don't account for the fact that a young mother at the beginning of her career may not clear much after expenses, but in most cases she's not going to make that salary forever.  When I was first married I was fresh out of law school and had a fairly low paying job.  If we'd had a couple of kids in daycare (we didn't) I probably wouldn't have cleared all that much.  But 5 years later my salary had doubled, and I made more than my husband.  If I had made an economic decision about my entire life based solely on the circumstances in my mid-20s that would have been really short-sighted.

Although I'm divorced now so I guess Lori would say that my working is probably what ended our marriage.  That and all those breastfeeding women he was probably looking at behind my back.

[delphinium65]

16 minutes ago, Frumper said:

Definitely this.  Plus in my experience people that make this argument often don't account for the fact that a young mother at the beginning of her career may not clear much after expenses, but in most cases she's not going to make that salary forever.  

True.  All of the expense/income factors need to be taken into consideration, including current and reasonable future expectations.  It may or may not be advantageous for a wife to work, depending on the family's circumstances, but it's very much a YMMV decision, which Lori and her leghumpers cannot/refuse to even consider.  

[EowynW]

Healthcare is scary scary shit in this country.

[Alisamer]

Just now, EowynW said:

Healthcare is scary scary shit in this country.

Truth. I have an ACA plan. If I paid full price it would be over $400 a month, but due to the subsidies I pay just under $100 per month. However, my deductible is way above my ability to pay. 

I just got an EOB (Explanation of Benefits, from the insurance company) for a routine visit to my primary care doctor. She spoke to me for about 10 minutes, and ordered blood tests for thyroid, B12, Vitamin D, etc. The EOB basically said "LOL your doctor sent us a bill for $900 but we said 'haha no how about $350, but we're only paying $150'" so now I have a bill for $200 for those lab tests. Plus the $230 for a cavity to be filled, because I already met the maximum payout on my dental insurance for the two crowns I paid over $2000 for out of pocket, draining my meager emergency cushion. I have a visit to the gynecologist for my regular pap and all that coming up in 2 weeks, and I'm terrified. Not because of the doctor or anything that happens there, but because I will walk out of there with no idea what sort of bill I'll end up with. It SHOULD be covered, but who knows what will be. Last time the insurance paid for my mammogram but NOT for someone to actually read the mammogram. There's literally 0 chance I could be pregnant, but they'll make me pee in a cup and test it, and I'll have to pay for that test - and it won't be drugstore test prices either. 

I don't have the energy or time to be constantly on the phone with the insurance company, and they have to be managed or they'll find some reason to deny coverage. Their whole model is based on charging as much as possible and paying out as little as possible. 

[Sarah92]

Just talking to my dad about this. I was like I just can't fathom how we could put a price tag on people's lives. The saying healthcare isn't a right makes my blood run cold and that's when I realized that the the Republican Party isn't a prolife party. Or anyone who says this isn't prolife. I've gone without seeing a doctor or dentist for probably about six years now? Maybe before that. Any deductible I got would be about 5,000 making insurance pointless as I would be paying everything out of pocket.  Before ACA after I turned 19, I guess I couldn't get medicade because I was pregnant or didn't have children. I believe that's changed now but for how long? 

Also the government likes to screw you over. My parents got food stamps for a while and then they got a letter in the mail saying "actually we made a mistake and you make too much (they really didn't in my opinion) now pay us back". So for a while my mom was paying the government back for food stamps they'd "mistakenly" given us. Government assholes. 

[Mellowing With Age]

16 hours ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Unlimited travel budget? Well today ... 

A visiting pass to Heaven. My dad died last night. And although I moved heaven and earth to try to get there to say goodbye, I didn't make it.

My heart hurts. Badly. 

I am so sorry for your loss and will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. 

[Hane]

@Meeka and @SweetLaurel, what you say about income not equaling how hard you work is so true. I’ve also noticed that the more I get paid, the more respect I get. I’m 83 working days away from retirement (my 66th birthday is November 14!) and am making the most I’ve made in my entire life (even during all those years I worked both a full time and a part time job). There is no comparison between my current gig in comfy Cubeworld (I work almost 100% independently and have no one to supervise) and the teenaged time I worked at places like a dry cleaner’s and McDonald’s.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Without outing myself, I would like to urge anyone with cancer in the US to call their state health department, insurance dept and cancer support groups. There can be special programs to get people treatment even if they have no insurance. No one should skip cancer treatment because they have no insurance! You have to do research but there can be assistance if you look in the right places. (My state has a cancer treatment program.)

I help people dealing with various medical crises every day. This is one reason I know my working has an impact on the world. But since Lori thinks people cause their own cancer or something stupid like that, she would still hate me working cause I have a child.

If you know someone facing this issue, offer to help by making calls to get them info on programs or filling out applications. It takes energy & persistence but you could help save them pain & avoidable death.

[Jessesgirl25]

On 6/28/2018 at 1:03 AM, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Unlimited travel budget? Well today ... 

A visiting pass to Heaven. My dad died last night. And although I moved heaven and earth to try to get there to say goodbye, I didn't make it.

My heart hurts. Badly. 

 

So sorry for your loss. 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

From something I read years ago, the AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children) program in the US  was set up during the Depression just so that widows/single mothers with children would not have to struggle so much and might even be able to stay home with their children.  A certain segment of conservatives have been totally opposed to anything that approaches a social safety net since the 30s.  They'd like nothing better than our society to resemble Dickensian England.  

AFDC was set up to benefit white families, and it was generally well-accepted until the 1960s, when civil rights legislation opened up welfare benefits to African-American women. There's a heaping helping of racism in the opposition to social safety nets. 

[Jessesgirl25]

18 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

 More crazy. This woman suggests that if a woman works she is one of the "lost".

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Then here is our buddy Jacob happy that Lori's site triggers people. Not to mention how ignorant he is to all the people who she has deleted who has cited scripture. 

 

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Gross.

[PennySycamore]

My daughter sent this to me this morning:

I thought it appropriate with Lori bashing breastfeeding in public.

[Jessesgirl25]

Lori thinks the cost of living is still in the Stone Age when she raised kids. An old hen perched high atop her roost, cackling. Bleh.