Lori Alexander 50: Making an Idol of Herself

[feministxtian]

Medical costs:

The bill for hub's surgery was $490,000. We were fortunate that we had double insurance coverage at the time (his job was still in force and I had insurance thru my job) and didn't have to pay a THING out of pocket. But, there have been times when paying for his medical needs has been right painful and he's survived through the generosity of other people who would send him insulin and enzymes. His medical needs cost about 5 grand A MONTH. He has an insulin pump and a CGM and the supplies for both are outrageously expensive, totaling almost a grand a month. Insulin is roughly 300 bucks a vial, he uses 3 vials a month. Then there's the enzymes he has to take so he can digest his food...they're like 3 grand a month. The ones he WAS on were 6 grand a month. Thank you GOD for the VA system. We pay roughly 200 bucks every 3 months for his meds and supplies. I just got medical insurance that will kick in on Sunday. I paid for the cadillac plan, 1500.00 out of pocket maximum. It's like 350.00 a month. It's better coverage than I could have gotten thru the ACA and cheaper too. 

Anyone who claims to be "pro-life" and is opposed to universal health care is a walking, talking piece of shit. 

[Curious]

6 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

They where so against these refugees that they would be ok with them to drowning to death. I was to shocked to reply.

I'm always kind of amazed when I run into someone that has really abhorrent thoughts/beliefs but seems to think they are normal or accepted views.  Generally speaking,  I try not to talk politics with "strangers."   My pain dr., for example, is a Republican (he was a Colonel in the armed forces).  He's not a 45 supporter, at least.   I am very liberal so our views sometimes clash.  We do talk politics once in a while, mostly around healthcare and it was....interesting during the 2016 election because he really hates Hillary.

Once I had a PT in a skilled nursing facility that was a Trump supporter.  I had CNN on during therapy one day and I can't remember what he said, but my husband and I looked at each other horrified.   We could not wait for this guy to get out of my room.   Once he left, my husband went and talked to the lady in charge of my therapy and asked to have that guy removed because of what he said.   Apparently, it wasn't the first time he had been reprimanded for saying inappropriate things to patients.  I was immediately taken off his rotation and put on another rotation with a woman I ended up really liking.

[AliceInFundyland]

@Curious At my last pt place they had the tv permanently set to HGTV because “it was the most uncontroversial, innocuous, gender-neutral channel we could settle on.” I watched many home renovation and island buying shows  on the stretcher machines.

[Curious]

28 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Last time i got an x-ray, at 53 years old, I tried to get out of the pee test. The tech told me it is required until a woman hits 55. Maybe other states are different....but I found it annoying.

I will be 51 this year.  They might be more willing to let me sign the waiver because I'm in a wheelchair.  It's really difficult for me to use restrooms and my husband has to help me, so I can usually talk my way out of things that aren't vital.   I had a uterine ablation a couple years ago, so that might help as well.   

I'm happy I can skip *any* test.   I have to have a set of xrays tomorrow for my new surgeon appt on Monday so I will see what happens there.  I've had several sets of xrays and CT scans at this place and don't recall being forced to pee, so hopefully, it won't be an issue.

[Coconut Flan]

Crank that I am I haven't had to do a pregnancy test to prove I wasn't since I was around 40.  I look them dead in the eye and go I refuse the test.  Yes, I've had to repeat the performance for a supervisor or two, but it's better than the waste of doing an unnecessary test.  

[EowynW]

39 minutes ago, Curious said:

I'm always kind of amazed when I run into someone that has really abhorrent thoughts/beliefs but seems to think they are normal or accepted views.  Generally speaking,  I try not to talk politics with "strangers."   My pain dr., for example, is a Republican (he was a Colonel in the armed forces).  He's not a 45 supporter, at least.   I am very liberal so our views sometimes clash.  We do talk politics once in a while, mostly around healthcare and it was....interesting during the 2016 election because he really hates Hillary.

Once I had a PT in a skilled nursing facility that was a Trump supporter.  I had CNN on during therapy one day and I can't remember what he said, but my husband and I looked at each other horrified.   We could not wait for this guy to get out of my room.   Once he left, my husband went and talked to the lady in charge of my therapy and asked to have that guy removed because of what he said.   Apparently, it wasn't the first time he had been reprimanded for saying inappropriate things to patients.  I was immediately taken off his rotation and put on another rotation with a woman I ended up really liking.

Reminds me of the time a pro life person told me I should be willing to die and leave my husband behind in order to save my hypothetical fetus. I was so horrified that I was shaking. That there are people out there, Christian people at that, who wouldn't blink an eye at this happening to me or any other women. 

[Curious]

37 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

@Curious At my last pt place they had the tv permanently set to HGTV because “it was the most uncontroversial, innocuous, gender-neutral channel we could settle on.” I watched many home renovation and island buying shows  on the stretcher machines.

That must be why I spend so much time watching HGTV at appts    My pain dr. used to have his lobby tv set for Faux News or some old war movie.  Thankfully, his daughter is back to working for him and she always had it on something better.  My appt time coincides with The Chew which she likes.  I don't think to watch it at home, but I enjoy it.  

They once showed a really easy recipe that sounded delicious so my husband and I tried it (and it was delicious) and told her it was really good so she ended up trying them as well.  Now we always end up talking about that recipe when I'm there

[zeebaneighba]

50 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Last time i got an x-ray, at 53 years old, I tried to get out of the pee test. The tech told me it is required until a woman hits 55. Maybe other states are different....but I found it annoying.

Yeah; they did that to me when I was 52 and had to get a shoulder x-ray.  The policy was as long as you were still having periods, you had to get a pregnancy test.

ETA Oh, and I had my tubes tied in 1990.  Pregnancy would have been a medical miracle.  They still made me take the test.

[Curious]

Just now, zeebaneighba said:

Yeah; they did that to me when I was 52 and had to get a shoulder x-ray.  The policy was as long as you were still having periods, you had to get a pregnancy test.

oh, maybe that is why. I stopped having my period a few years ago because I have endometrial hyperplasia (basically, I don't produce enough hormones to shed the lining so it just builds up until I'm given progesterone).   That is part of the reason I had the uterine ablation.   Due to my restricted range of motion, I can no longer deal with "crime scene cleanup" type periods.

I think I'd be tempted to fudge the truth a little if there was 0 way I could be pregnant and having your period is the determinator  

[zeebaneighba]

Just now, Curious said:

oh, maybe that is why. I stopped having my period a few years ago because I have endometrial hyperplasia (basically, I don't produce enough hormones to shed the lining so it just builds up until I'm given progesterone).   That is part of the reason I had the uterine ablation.   Due to my restricted range of motion, I can no longer deal with "crime scene cleanup" type periods.

I think I'd be tempted to fudge the truth a little if there was 0 way I could be pregnant and having your period is the determinator  

It was a military clinic.  They follow the rules no matter how stupid they are.  I generally have had wonderful care in military hospitals and medical centers, but this particular clinic was the pits.

[Curious]

11 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Reminds me of the time a pro life person told me I should be willing to die and leave my husband behind in order to save my hypothetical fetus. I was so horrified that I was shaking. That there are people out there, Christian people at that, who wouldn't blink an eye at this happening to me or any other women. 

The real kicker is that if you did that and left your hypothetical child motherless, they wouldn't lift a finger to help your now widowed husband who, no doubt, has to work to support his motherless newborn.  They'd also want to cut any type of social benefits the hypothetical newborn would be able to get.

They probably also believe in the death penalty.   I really wish they would rename themselves what they really are: pro-fetus.

[polecat]

40 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Reminds me of the time a pro life person told me I should be willing to die and leave my husband behind in order to save my hypothetical fetus. I was so horrified that I was shaking. That there are people out there, Christian people at that, who wouldn't blink an eye at this happening to me or any other women. 

Yes, they do exist. I was related to one of them.

[Sarah92]

I had a friend who was basically forced to take a pregnancy test when she was around 20 or so because the doctor wouldn't believe that she was a virgin. She was super angry that the doctors wouldn't believe her. They kept asking her and she kept insisting that no she had not had sex and therefore could not be pregnant. I can't wait until I get to start going back to doctors to deal with this kind of ridiculousness.

It's like some doctors don't trust you to know what's going on with your own body. My sister got the run around when she had swollen lymph nodes in her neck and armpits, severe tiredness, headaches, and elevated liver enzymes. They just put her on strong antibiotics which destroyed her gut health and barely told her anything. Nothing about probiotics.  They couldn't even do a proper cat scan of the nodes to send to a specialist (this pissed the specialist off) . Didn't tell her what tests they were doing and didn't answer her questions.  Yep totally the way to make a 21-year-old feel completely well taken cared for and not scared that she's dying or anything.  Yeah for our medical system.  About two months in, My mom finally had to start going with her to get results. They finally sent her to a specialist in a different city who diagnosed her with a severe sinus infection or something and got her taken care off. She was better in a matter of a week or so after months of appointments and feeling sick. But really I think they saw she had Medicaid and decided that she wasn't good enough to treat with dignity because that's how many of the doctors at our hospital are. 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

1 hour ago, zeebaneighba said:

Yeah; they did that to me when I was 52 and had to get a shoulder x-ray.  The policy was as long as you were still having periods, you had to get a pregnancy test.

This makes sense but I had not had a period in a couple of years. They said something about any possible egg slipping out or some nonsense. Like if you are having sex, you can still get pregnant til 55 unless you are using birth control. I was so glad to not need birth control any more too.

[EowynW]

The down payment thing is stressing the shit out of us. To the point of tears. It's one reason why I work two part time jobs. So we can atleast put a little up for a house in the future. Our parents have made it abundantly clear they will never ever help us so we are on our own. So we are trying to build credit & save. On another note, since I grew up and lived a lot of that stupid living on single income advice, I find it awfully stressful to read those posts.  I rage at that stupid "godly" teaching of just pay for stuff in cash our fundie parents taught us and Lori & her  leghumpers promote. That has screwed us over so much. Like Mr. EW recently put it,  "all my life I thought I was doing the right, God honoring thing by working and paying cash for my cars and big purchases, and it turned out to be a sham." We are starting from the ground up, which is kind of humiliating to admit. I usually don't talk about it. 

[Curious]

@Palimpsest said this on another thread:

Quote

The guy has sex on the brain so much that contrasting buttons make him think naughty thoughts about breasts!

It made me immediately wonder what a Steve Maxwell/Lori Alexander match up would be like

[AliceInFundyland]

@EowynW I know it’s all a matter of perspective and choices....but I spent my 20’s destroying my credit with debt...trying to go school and then having some medical issues. And then at the end I had to declare bankruptcy. Only recently have I rebuilt it to a good place. I very much wish I had learned some better lessons about the implications of debt and paying for some things with cash when I was a teen.

You are a smart, hard-working woman and I think you are rising beyond your upbringing so beautifully. You will succeed!

[HoneyBunny]

20 minutes ago, EowynW said:

The down payment thing is stressing the shit out of us. To the point of tears. It's one reason why I work two part time jobs. So we can atleast put a little up for a house in the future. Our parents have made it abundantly clear they will never ever help us so we are on our own. So we are trying to build credit & save. On another note, since I grew up and lived a lot of that stupid living on single income advice, I find it awfully stressful to read those posts.  I rage at that stupid "godly" teaching of just pay for stuff in cash our fundie parents taught us and Lori & her  leghumpers promote. That has screwed us over so much. Like Mr. EW recently put it,  "all my life I thought I was doing the right, God honoring thing by working and paying cash for my cars and big purchases, and it turned out to be a sham." We are starting from the ground up, which is kind of humiliating to admit. I usually don't talk about it. 

You know that we are all rooting for you as you  bravely navigate the challenges of life outside fundiedom. I don’t have any sage advice to share other than what you’re going through is not forever. We’ve had very lean years (we were both in graduate school) and they didn’t last forever. We had very good years when Mr. Bunny was getting both a salary from a civilian employer and active duty military and I was working and they certainly didn’t last either. I guess age gives one a different perspective and that is that it won’t always be like this. Hang in there. 

[The limit does not exist]

I have two interesting doctor stories:

1. Moved to a new area and went to see a new, highly rated doc for a birth control script at 22 years old. She asked how many children I had, not if I had any children... 

2. Moved again so another new doctor. They asked the standard questions and about if I was in a relationship and/or sexually active and when I said yes they asked if my partner was male or female. Since this was in Mississippi, I thought it was super progressive of them to not assume I was straight.

[lilwriter85]

On 6/27/2018 at 7:19 PM, Meeka said:

What irritates me where Lori and her ilk start talking about how when you add up what is costs for a woman to work outside the home that she ends up bringing home very little is that they are always making the assumption that the woman is making a fairly low wage. I make a good salary and when you add up what it costs me to work, I still bring home a substantial sum. They often mention the clothing that needs to be bought for work. I have a very casual workplace so my extra clothing costs are minimal. I don't think that women are generally spending thousands of dollars a year on work clothes unless they really love clothes and shopping and then wouldn't they still want the clothes if they weren't working. I know that daycare is very expensive but still there are many women, me included, where daycare is only a relatively small even if it is substantial portion of their income.

Also, what is wrong with working for luxuries. Yes, I love to travel. Yes, I like to go to the grocery store and buy what we need and like without having to worry about keeping a tight grocery budget. Yes, I like to buy clothes at regular stores or online rather than thrift store. But, I work for it. Why did Ken work away from home 50% of the time instead of being at home with his family each evening? Could it have been that he wanted to advance his career and earn more money to afford luxuries. There is nothing wrong for either a man or a woman to work hard, make sacrifices to have the life that they want. That race to the bottom of the poverty line that Lori and her fangirls do is sickening.

A lot of things also annoy me when Lori and the fangirls talk about the expenses of working women. She did a doodle a year or two ago where she mentioned that women going out to work end up paying a lot for gas and car maintenance. Lori and the fangirls don't realize that not every working women is dealing with those expenses. Some women take public transportation to work or walk to work if close enough, and there is carpooling.  Some women who drive to work might be driving hybrids or fuel efficient cars and if they don't live too far from work it sometimes it doesn't  make a huge dent in finances. 

I also don't think many women are spending a lot of money on work clothes. Lori and the fangirls act like every working women is buying designer label clothes. Some women shop around for deals on clothes. It bugs me that Lori acts like every working women is consumed with getting material items. 

As for luxuries, it still pisses me off that Lori's idiot fangirls bitch about two income households having luxuries. Yet, their "mentor" Lori has tons of luxuries via Ken. Lori and Ken  have more luxuries than some two income homes. Many two income households wouldn't be able to afford Lori's health expenses, tutition at a private schools for multiple children, and living in an expensive state like California. 

[wild little fox]

9 hours ago, EowynW said:

88 cent milk royally screws over the dairy farmers though. This country is so complicated! 

88 cents? I pay almost $4.00 in rural mountain northern California.   

[feministxtian]

Let's see...expenses for working...

Gas - about 30 bucks a week (gas hog car)

Lunch - from home

Wardrobe - already in my closet, from Ross and Savers, other thrift shops

My paycheck...a nicer place to live and medical insurance for me.

***heard from my lawyer today...wants me to call him in the AM. Hoping it's good news. 

[lilwriter85]

 

5 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Lindy, do you know how god can provide for you if someone in your family had major medical expenses? A job. When my dad got sick and couldn’t work anymore god provided my mom with a full time Monday through Friday job which allowed her to be able to keep her part time weekend job so we could have food and water. No one was going to pay so my mom, who is able boddied, could stay home during the week. No god works that way. We should never expect anyone to pay our way so we can be lazy. Not if both you and your husband are physically incapable of working that is a different story. 

 

14 hours ago, HoneyBunny said:

e ragey. I only hope that these pro-birth people will someday have to atone for being so mind-bogglingly cruel to people after they’re born. A huge percentage of bankruptcies in the US are medical bankruptcies. My heart hurts for people who face what I did last year (breast cancer) and then have to worry about paying for treatment. Or who don’t find out until it’s too late that they even have an issue because they don’t have insurance. What many of Lazy Lori’s fans don’t understand is that getting good health insurance is the biggest determinant of your future standard of living. And sometimes it takes two people working to get that insurance. 

A Go Fund Me campaign is NOT health insurance.

I bet Lindy is the type of person that would bitch if some family going through a medical crisis received food stamps or some other assistance. Lindy and many of Lori's fangirls don't realize that in many cases women aren't working for material things- they are working for insurance benefits and extra money to put towards savings or the expenses of a family member in need. 

My friend's youngest child has cerebral palsy. Now, my friend and her husband always worked when they had their two older kids and they continued to work after having the youngest child because insurance doesn't cover everything. My ex boyfriend worked with people with disabilities as care aide and later social worker.  His mother was an occupational therapist. Both had tons of stories of clients/patients having financial issues. My ex's mom worked a lot with spinal cord injury patients and part of her job was evaluating and training them to develop different skills/adaptation in hopes of returning to jobs or finding other work.  She would follow up with patients and some of them couldn't return to work or others had a hard time finding jobs because some employers don't want to hire people in wheelchairs despite laws against discrimination. 

I saw a recent incident of fundie/fundie lite types trying to use GoFundMe for medical expenses. A guy I worked with a couple of years ago has a fundie stepdaughter whose family is involved with ATI and she homeschools. Her husband bounces around from different jobs. At one point they tried to adopt and had a GFM for adoption expenses. They didn't raise anything. The stepdaughter's husband was diagnosed with cancer and they had a GFM up for awhile.  There will probably be a day one when a Lori fangirl puts up a GoFundMe for medical expenses and then asks Lori to donate. We all know Lori will not donate a fucking penny to a fangirl. 

[Sarah92]

12 minutes ago, wild little fox said:

88 cents? I pay almost $4.00 in rural mountain northern California.   

Yep for a good while it was like .88 cents a Gallon and 1.25 for five dozen eggs. Its returned to more normal pricing but I think our milk is still under $2.00. I consider myself very lucky to have this. However, I am always concerned about dairy and egg farmers. I do hope they're doing okay. 

People are able to build pretty good work wardrobes for fairly cheap. I've gotten most of my dress pants, surprisingly since I'm a rolly polly plus-sized, from thrift stores. I hate dress pants so I don't want to spend a lot on them. I'm skinny jeans, leggings, or dress type of girl. Blouses from thrift stores, blazers and dresses on sale, and flats from Walmart or payless. I probably haven't spent much more on my wardrobe than a typical SAHM. The only thing I really tend to impulse buy is makeup but I'm lucky that a lot of my favorite cruelty-free brands are cheaper. 

My new job is in town so gas money isn't going to be a lot except for if I have a crisis call farther out.

Take lunch to work because my rounded self don't need more fast food. 

Wardrobe: Done, except I do want to find a really nice plus sized blazer because they just pull outfits together like nobody's business. I'd be willing to spend more on one of the those. 

Luxuries I won't have: Cable, I don't watch TV except for Netflix. 

However, I don't think there's anything wrong with having luxuries and designer clothes. I just think we should always be willing to acknowledge where we might have a privilege and help others who might not. 

@EowynW my parents paid for things in cash and had as little debt as possible. No credit cards to build credit. And then when it came time to do a loan to buy a house, nope the bank wasn't having it. I thought it was stupid I mean paying in cash shows you can manage money just as well if not better without credit cards. I don't get it but I wish you all the best! I pray that you'll be able to live out your dreams. 

[AliceInFundyland]

I was taught how to write a check in 5th grade. We did this thing called Exchange City where everyone had jobs and money and we worked in a fake little town for a day. We also did the exercise where you take care of an egg for a week and try not to break it. (This was stressful. I remember tears when eggfants shattered.)

We could learn to drive at 14.

They covered sex-ed. Some class did the thing with the crying babies.

My school had a decent vocational-tech option.

The focus was on college. We all had a mandatory English assignment as seniors - a college application essay. 

Nobody talks to you about long-term impacts of financing. The FAFSA is mandatory for aid. And if one of your divorced parents does NOT want to contribute to your education you can’t or couldn’t just say that. It was a nightmare.

Teenagers need a mandatory financial ed class like they need a sex ed class. It is in a way like having a child (no disrespect intended, it is certainly different-just a serious decision) You cannot ever erase the student loan debt you take at 18...even if you never get the degree. And your parents can’t either. I wish someone had told me that. And about credit cards, and interest rates.  Long term implications....

Maybe that is happening? I am certainly not up to speed on general teenage preparedness via high school. 

At the moment I feel very much like a cranky old person, late at night, on the internet. Teach them young’uns all the things..so they can show us one better.