John Shrader 15: Welcome to Poisonwood, Caleb

[Ozlsn]

7 hours ago, snickerz said:

If John was having visa problems or getting kicked out of Zambia, he would just feel god was leading him to missionize in Zimbabwe or Mozambique, or wherever. No way is he going to just come home and get a job or something. (He's not exactly a job-type person.)

Has he ever actually tried being a job-type person? Maybe he totally is and is just waiting to find out! 

Or maybe he'd just suck as much as he does at being a missionary. He should probably try it for a bit to see anyway - say maybe the next 20 or so years until Caleb and any future children grow up and leave home?

[Gobsmacked]

Am I correct thinking that John left a job as car sales man because he didn't approve of the music played in the sales room? 

John will always find a way not to work. He has    no reason to work. His Genius Daddy grifts for him splendidly. (Well scams the sheeple splendidly).

[countressrascal]

At the present time he is still in Kaufe however there are things going on in Zambia that might change everything. According to my friend who is an expat medical professional who works for a foreign non profit supported by John Hopkins, that has been providing medical care, specifically maternal fetal, disabled child medical care and rural outreach health services. Government has been there investigating if they are meeting their original charter which was created about 20 yrs ago. According to her there is a government crack down on foreign non profit and religious missionaries that are not meeting their charters, one of the requirements for foreign religious organizations is that they must perform services for the greater good it can't be just religious activities, this has been in place for years but never enforce now it is. Plus they must be self supporting can not engage in any commercial enterprise or take collections at services.   Also for foreign non profits and religious organizations you must state where you are going to perform your services and if you do not stay in your geographic area they can pull your VISA. John Boy might not be on the top of the list to be investigated but his time will come when he has to renew, I have no idea what type of VISA he has. Government also are enforcing the per person support requirement which is about 5000 USD per adult and 3000 USD per child under 16, so that might be an issue for JohnBoy. This is all happening due to economic problems that Zambia is having, government feels that the foreign non profits and religious are taking advantage of local population. According to her that three missionary families in Kaufe have been asked to leave since the first of year due to meeting these guidelines. She did see family at Walmart last week and all the signs have been taken off the Troupie.

Sorry about the long posting back to taxes

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

14 minutes ago, countressrascal said:

Government also are enforcing the per person support requirement which is about 5000 USD per adult and 3000 USD per child under 16, so that might be an issue for JohnBoy. 

Thank you for the update.  I don't quite understand the bolded though.  Is the support requirement what John would take in per year from the donations he gets from the US?

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, countressrascal said:

Sorry about the long posting back to taxes

Good luck with your taxes!

[countressrascal]

12 hours ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Thank you for the update.  I don't quite understand the bolded though.  Is the support requirement what John would take in per year from the donations he gets from the US?

He or his supporting organization must show proof that he is receiving minimum amount of support per year. In addition to having available funds to relocate his family out of Zambia if there is an emgerency. 

[Gobsmacked]

So John would need to prove that he has, minimum of $43,000 per year + money in an account to be used for emergency removal ftom Zambia.  

That is a lot of money for supporting churches to provide. 

[Howl]

Thank you for this excellent update, @countressrascal!  I think the handwriting is on the wall for the Bro. John in Zambia; he hasn't done anything for anybody since they arrived in country (other than annoy people for Jesus), he doesn't have a congregation or any local followers to support him, and he's under the nominal fake supervision of someone who lives in another part of the country.  He's also on the radar of at least the local authorities; taking all of those noxious signs off the Truthiness Mobile shows a bit of paranoia. 

That said, Bro. John is like a turd that consistently floats to the top, so he may well lurch along for awhile longer.  

[Gobsmacked]

Just sat here with fingers and toes crossed that immigration officers begin at the end of the alphabet when investigating visa/bank accounts of missionaries.  John needs to leave. The kids can get to know their myriad of cousins. Esther can catch up with her siblings.

John can:

A. Get a job

C. Get a vasectomy

d. Drive a long way off a very short pier.

e. Go dance with Satan. 

[Carol]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

Just sat here with fingers and toes crossed that immigration officers begin at the end of the alphabet when investigating visa/bank accounts of missionaries.  John needs to leave. The kids can get to know their myriad of cousins. Esther can catch up with her siblings.

John can:

A. Get a job

C. Get a vasectomy

d. Drive a long way off a very short pier.

e. Go dance with Satan. 

Hallelujah!  I experienced a vision after reading your third suggestion.

John and family are crammed into the truthmobile, speeding down a pier as fast as they can.  He guns it just before driving off the edge, believing that a miracle will occur and he can drive back to Texas.

Everyone surfaces except John who has been called to his heavenly reward by a pissed off Jesus who can't believe how fucking stupid he is.  Esther takes the kids back to her parents home and they all live reasonably happily ever after.  Esther never remarries, stating that she's finally free of that fat bastard and is taking no chances her father will pick another winner for her.

Praise Jesus.  

[Inky]

From the sound of Countessrascal's update, there are quite a few different reasons why John may be forced to leave Kafue.  Hooray!

I wonder what exactly the original charter said that he was trying to accomplish. (that's a serious question - I know what WE think he's trying to accomplish - avoiding full time work, being financially supported by others, living cheaply, being adored by the locals). None of which would be easy in the U.S.

[KnittingOwl]

Of Zambia told John to leave, would the Schraders have to come back to the US? Or could they try to go directly to another country in Africa? I could see John trying the latter. 

[Howl]

Anyone have estimates on how much it would cost to fly the Shrader flock back to the US?

Another practical thing to consider.  Katy, TX, home to Ma & Pa Shrader, was hard hit by Hurricane Harvey.  It's also close enough to Houston to be a bedroom commuter town; when we were there seven or eight years ago there were housing developments springing up everywhere.  The staggering amount of hurricane damage to Katy and Houston means that the supply of available housing, especially cheap housing, is zip. 

I don't think Ma and Pa Shrader would move out of their house so the John and Esther horde will have a roof over their heads.  Or maybe they could just move into the church! 

[Gobsmacked]

Shrader sr could arrange for a double wide trailer home ( I think that's what they are called?) same as the Keller parents have, to be installed on the church grounds. Would he need planning permission for a trailer home?

[Granwych]

19 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

Just sat here with fingers and toes crossed that immigration officers begin at the end of the alphabet when investigating visa/bank accounts of missionaries.  John needs to leave. The kids can get to know their myriad of cousins. Esther can catch up with her siblings.

John can:

A. Get a job

C. Get a vasectomy

d. Drive a long way off a very short pier.

e. Go dance with Satan. 

Ah, Gobsmacked, you have said it all!!  May it come to pass!!

[CTRLZero]

On 2/19/2018 at 8:05 PM, countressrascal said:

all the signs have been taken off the Troupie

Thank you for the update!  I wonder if he removed the scripture because of official scrutiny, and/or is getting the vehicle ready for sale in anticipation of an exit from sub-Saharan Africa.  Darn that Satan!

Maybe he'll explain in a poem.

 

[Georgiana]

21 hours ago, Howl said:

 he hasn't done anything for anybody since they arrived in country

What are you talking about?!?  He's done TONS of stuff for HIMSELF in Zambia!  I mean, yeah sure he hasn't done anything for anyone ELSE (including his own family) in years, but let's not ignore how GENEROUSLY Bro. John has served Bro. John.  

[Granwych]

6 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

Thank you for the update!  I wonder if he removed the scripture because of official scrutiny, and/or is getting the vehicle ready for sale in anticipation of an exit from sub-Saharan Africa.  Darn that Satan!

Maybe he'll explain in a poem.

 

Please, let's not give him any ideas!

[Gobsmacked]

John will be composing as we speak. He may have problems finding rhyming words to go with " ebil immigration office " and "No, you may not renew your Visa".  

 

[Gimme a Free RV]

On 2/20/2018 at 3:05 PM, Howl said:

he hasn't done anything for anybody since they arrived in country

• He has procreated some bodies. 
• He keeps hopping on Esther's body. 
• He feeds and pampers his own body. 
• He's a busybody, preaching to his FB homebodies. 
• He's dunked a couple of bodies in a crudely-constructed pool of water, originally wanting to baptize in a Zambian body of water where hippos live.
• He'll take money from anybody.
• Everybody needs to listen to his version of the truth.
• He shamed his little daughter's birthday cake because the princess decoration was showing too much body. 
• He has never learned to embody the Zambian culture and mindset.
• Nobody is more righteous than John.  John told us so.

[Howl]

44 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

"No, you may not renew your Visa".

"Thence I'll become a Biblical missionary to Ibiza!"  Easy peasy! 

[Granwych]

22 minutes ago, Howl said:

"Thence I'll become a Biblical missionary to Ibiza!"  Easy peasy! 

Shoot, I'll become a Biblical missionary to Ibiza, and I'm a witch.  It's too damn cold here in New England.

[Howl]

If he's not into Ibiza, maybe Pisa, because those pagan Roman Catholics desperately need the ministrations of a Biblical Baptist missionary and he can model what it looks like when you really don't use birth control.  I can see a win/win in his future. 

[Gobsmacked]

I can't remember the song but there is a line that goes" everybody needs somebody"

sadly no-one needs John's body. Nope. Just nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

[Granwych]

2 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

I can't remember the song but there is a line that goes" everybody needs somebody"

sadly no-one needs John's body. Nope. Just nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Ah, that old Dean Martin song.  I think that you are 110% correct, Gobsmacked.